That's no bull!

All of my life, I have been intrigued by cows.  In fact, there is no time that I can remember when I have not opened the car window and called "MOO!" to my friends grazing in a farmer's field.  However, did you know that cows speak foreign languages?  That's right.. in France, cows say: "MOI!" and in Poland, they say: "OOM!" 

Once, my daughter Diane mentioned that she liked cows too, and from that point on, whenever anyone tried to think of a gift for her.. they got her some form of a cow.

Diane worked for a large purveyor of foodstuffs, including milk, and had a role to play each year in their massive display of available wholesale items.  She elicited my help one year.. and I was allowed to draw white lines on the mustache areas of good-natured attendees and take pictures for the famous "Got Milk?" program.  Lots of fun.

I've always thought there was something mystical about cows, and recently I found out that I was right. In reading an eye-opening book titled "Beef" by Andrew Rimas and Evan D. G. Fraser, I came across the following quote from The Prose Edda (Norse Creation Myth):

"Then said Gangleri: 'Where dwelt Ymir, or wherein did he find sustenance?'  Haerr answered: 'Straightway after the rime dripped, there sprang from it the cow called Audumla;  four streams of milk
ran from her udders, and she nourished Ymir.'

Then asked Gangleri: 'Wherewithal was the cow nourished?' And Haerr made answer: 'She licked the ice-blocks, which were salty; and the first day that she licked the blocks, there came forth from the blocks in the evening a man's hair;  the second day, a man's head;  the third day, the whole man was there.'"

Cows are considered sacred in India.  To quote an interesting excerpt from "God's Lunatics" by Michael Largo: 

"From ancient times, Indians considered cows as a symbol of wealth and providers of life-sustaining milk.  In Hinduism, the cow's sacred status is tied to the religion's story of creation: Lord Krishna, an important figure in Hindu mythology was reincarnated five thousand years ago as a cowherd.  Coming back through reincarnation as a cow in India would be a positive turn, since the animals are treated with the rank of the highest Brahmin priests.

Feeding a cow in India is considered good luck, but injuring or killing one is still a criminal offense.  The cow remains a representation of generosity and motherhood; in 2008, a population of more than 200 million Indian holy bovine roamed the countryside and city streets.  If you step in cow dung it's still thought of as a blessed omen, and Indian cowpies are believed to have antiseptic qualities as effective as any industrial-strength disinfectant."

Cows are helping out in lots of other ways.  For instance, if it wasn't for the aorta from a friendly cow, Robin Williams would not be making jokes today.

Sadly though, I've been informed that "house licking" is not covered by some insurance policies.

Ah.. oh yes, it will be Valentine's Day shortly, and there is a great website that combines love items and items of our love (namely: cows).  Take a look:

http://www.simplybovine.com/Valentinesday.php

At that site, you can also find some "cow jokes," such as:

Q. What do you call a cow with no legs?
A.  Ground beef.

Q. What do you call a cow that has just given birth?
A.  Decalfinated.

If you GOOGLE "cow jokes" you will discover that there are a number of sites devoted to such. Meanwhile, to close out, here are a few classics from my files:

Q. Why do cows wear bells?
A. Because their horns don't work.

Q. Why did the cow jump over the moon?
A.  Because the farmer had cold hands.

Two cows were browsing in a farmer's field.  One says: "MOO!"
The other says: "Hey! I was just going to say the same thing!"

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How far back can you remember?

Lately, I have been trying to see how far back in my life I can remember. I seem to remember being caught in New Bedford's Buttonwood Park when I was 3 or 4. My Uncle Allen and my Great Uncle Will found me after I ran away from my home on Borden Street, about two miles away.

Elaine says she remembers her father catching a giant snapping turtle when she was between 1 and 3 years old.

Some people think that we are reincarnated and that we can remember events from our former lives for a year after we are born, when the memories fade away. Under hypnosis, some people have told about prior lives. (See: Bridey Murphy)

Knowledge from prior lives has been suggested as a reason that some children are idiot savants. These are people who can do fantastic mathematic puzzle solving. For instance, ask an idiot savant what 34792918 times 2397564 equals and they can immediately answer: 83,418,247,651,752. How do they do it?

My Grandfather told me I was an idiot savant when I was around 4 years old. I can remember people giving me complicated problems in addition, subtraction and multiplication and I can remember giving them an immediate answer. I'm sure I just made up the answers through no mental effort and they probably liked playing along with me. But did I make up the answers? I'll never know, because the exercises came to a halt when I began to go to kindergarten. Nobody gave me any more challenging problems until I took Algebra in High School.

My Cousin Charlie and I were in the same class and had a competition going to get the highest grade in the class. Every day we competed in Mr. Worden's class. He was a nice guy and I think it did his ego good to see Charlie and me showing what we had been learning in his class. Mr. Worden didn't know that we were cousins.. we waited until the last day of school to tell him.

Math came very easy for Charlie and he was able to master all aspects of it. He earned a PhD in Physics and co-authored procedures that have helped physicists solve mind-bending problems. I gave math up after that class, even though I have it as one of my life goals to learn some of maths higher aspects, such as calculus.

When I was about 7 years old, I discovered cartoons.. the family subscribed to the Saturday Evening Post and each time it arrived I would cut out all of the cartoons and keep them in separate piles by cartoonist. Then, I would copy and learn the style of each cartoonist. For example: Otto Soglow, who drew rather simplistic figures that were kind of easy for me to copy.. does anyone remember "The Little King?" Remember the simplified ermine robe and the easy-to-draw crown: three circles with a triangle on top. Or Virgil Partch (VIP) who drew people with gigantic noses.

This copying was fun for me, but it didn't do much for me. Now, 67 years later, I am still a copier. Unfortunately, my cartoons are never original.

Elaine is a great caption writer. Each week, the New Yorker magazine has a caption contest. They publish a special cartoon by one of their many contributing cartoonists. This special cartoon usually shows weird juxtapositions of activity and has no caption. It is left up to the New Yorker reader to supply one. Elaine has been doing so for several years. I personally find her captions to be head and shoulders above the ones that are picked as winners. She has a gift, and someday she will win the big prize.

This gives me an idea... to gain the originality that I desire in my cartoons, why don't I draw some off-beat cartoons and let Elaine put the captions on them. She can be my "originality fairy."

Granddaughters Kaitlin and Bridget are into Anime.. the Japanese comics art form. And they are good at the procedure. Their father, Chris, has a gift for cartooning, but I can't convince him to try to do it full time. I don't think he really knows how good he is.

Great Grandson Cameron, at 5 years old, is already showing a talent for drawing. I hope that we can encourage him in this path.

Well, I start with a subject to stick to in these blogs, but I get sidetracked. So be it!