01. Bieber Fever: Mr. Bieber came to the Maryland State Fair yesterday and you would have though they were giving out free fifty dollar bills. This 16 year old guy has all the eleven year old girls yelling and screaming like the Bobby Soxers did for Frank Sinatra in the 1940's (yes, I was alive then!)
One interviewer asked a Bieber fan how she liked his singing. She said: "He's cute!"
Frank Sinatra's voice lasted almost to the day he died at age around 80, I think. Let's see what Bieber's voice does in the next few years. He seems like a nice clean-cut kid, and his popularity will probably just grow..
I hope everyone also gets a chance to listen to the 10 year old female finalist on America's Got Talent. This is a kid with a Diva's voice range. She should be a spectacular super star someday.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38667257
02. Car stuff: I'm typing some of this while waiting for Toyota mechanics to do the 10,000 mile maintenance on my Rav4. I love that car. I bought the 100 year maintenance offering, so I should not get charged anything for my 5,000 visits until the year 2109.... at least that what the fine print on my contract says.. maybe.. I guess I need to buy a magnifying glass to make sure.
03. Tolerance: In my last blog entry, I wrote about a Florida pastor scheduling a Koran burning session. I just read in Time magazine that this will take place on 9/11. The pastor argues that Jesus would burn the Koran because "it's not holy." Now, everybody in Afghanistan is cursing the US and Obama.. why do they think that our President is condoning the burning?
04. Jokes: As some of you know, I started a new blog that will contain jokes and puns and humorous items that I have been collecting for many many years. I've already had some comments on my first issuance. "Cheesy.", "Fun to read.", "Childish", "Funny." ,"Go for it."
So, I guess I will continue it. If interested and a glutton for punishment, visit
http://joevaughansjokes.blogspot.com/
05. Species: Today, my SNAPPLE diet tea cap had the following message:
"Manhattan Island was once home to as many different species as Yellowstone National Park."
I showed the message to Elaine, and she had the very same response as I had, namely:
"It still is."
06. New Jersey Perps: Did I mention the one-legged thief who broke into a New Jersey shoe store and left some boxes on the floor with just right shoes? He was easy to catch.
Or the bicycle-riding crook who wore a Nixon mask? Another easy catch for Trenton cops.
07. Birther: By now, you must have heard of that "bright light" Army Officer who refused deployment to Afghanistan because he said that President Obama is not legally his Commanding Officer, because he wasn't born in the United States. He says he wants to see the "real" birth certificate. (A judge threw out his defence as idiotic.) I wonder how he got to be an officer?
08. Ugh! Disgusting sign seen in a men's rest room:
"Please do not drop paper towels in the urinals. They turn yellow when we dry them out, and some people do not like to use them."
09. Savage breast? An English headmaster punishes his students in detention by forcing them to listen to classical music!
Today, a radio announcer mentioned that there are people who die every day who have never heard the beautiful music of Beethoven. Or Mozart!!!!! I wonder if they teach classical music in school these days. My 7th grade teacher taught us how to read music and how to enjoy classical music. My mother had already instilled in me a love for the light classics, but listening to the masterworks opened my mind to a wonderful new world. So, I learned to like Bach and Beethoven. And then, later in life.. Mozart and Mahler!
10. Toot! We missed it! July was National Baked Beans Month.
11. SuZee TV: Did I mention that our cat watches TV with us. The other night, we watched two Netflix movies and she didn't move from her perch on a table between us and the TV. She watches TV very intently. She likes a lot of action and conversation. The news bores her and she doesn't like some of the cop shows that Elaine likes (even though they have lots of action).
12. Spice: Some of my Toastmasters friends sent me lists of things to do to make life more interesting. I thought that you might like to learn some of them.
Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN".
Everytime anybody asks you do do something, ask if they want fries with that.
In the memo field of all your checks, write "for sexual favors."
Instead of walking, skip.
Married men, everytime you see a broom, yell: "Honey, your mother is here."
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10.
Showing posts with label Afghanistan. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Afghanistan. Show all posts
Monday, September 06, 2010
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Lots of stuff
Wow! Lots of great news today. (Well, maybe not so great.)
01. Manson clan member, Squeaky Fromme, was released from prison. Now, let's see if she moves in with her buddy, Baltimore's own, John Waters.
02. Slovakia has outlawed the speaking of anything but Slovak in Government offices and businesses. Hungarian can be spoken at cultural events, but all jokes must be repeated in Slovak.
03. An Afghan bill just became law and allows a man to starve his wife if she refuses to have sex. In addition, a woman must get a husband's permission to work and fathers and grandfathers are given exclusive custody of children. (sounds like the Taliban is back in power)
04. Somebody asked Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi (72) if it wasn't dangerous for him to be messing around with his 17 year old girlfriend. Silvio supposedly said: "Well, if she dies, she dies." (I know, it's an old joke.)
05. A Spanish study found that women who drink moderate amounts of beer are strengthening their bones because of the plant homones in that drink. (What about men? My bones must be nice and strong.)
06. A Joliet, Illinois spectator gave a boisterous yawn in court and the insulted judge sentenced him to 6 months in jail! (Come on, Judge, a $50 fine maybe... but 6 months? Who elected this judge?)
07. Is a rooster an "alarm cluck?"
08. Chinese astronauts will no longer be allowed to have bad breath.
09. A bank fired an employee for tackling a robber and holding him for police!
10. The Wisconsin State Fair initiated a couple of new treats:
Chocolate covered bacon on a stick.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in pancake batter and deep fried.
Ummmm... Yummy!
11. The "birthers" who tried to bash Obama about his birth certificate, showed a picture of what they said was his certificate that showed his birthplace as "Republic of Kenya." As we would have guessed, the Republic of Kenya was not yet in existence when Obama was born. (Some of these "birthers" profess to be "born again" Christians, yet continue to "bear false witness.")
12. A Washington, DC lobbying firm admitted sending forged letters urging oposition to climate change legislation.
13. Elkridge, Maryland police found 28 cats and a guinea pig during a house investigation. They also found two dead cats in the refrigerator freezer.
Now... let's talk about Westminster, Maryland.
Jamison Hensley, writing in the Baltimore Sun, mentioned that football teams, like the Ravens, go to "out-of-the-way" locations, like Westminster, to practice. In fact, he said that the lure of these places is that nothing is happening there to distract them.
Maybe so, but I take this as an insult. There are lots of things going on in Westminster, Maryland. However, most of the activity is not the kind of stuff that would interest so-called sophisticated ball players or sportscasters. For instance:
01. Sixth graders at Northwest Middle School have created a website on the history of Robert Moton High School, a segregated black high school from not so long ago.
02. After a public rebellion a while ago, Senior citizen gamblers could once again play for small stakes money at Carroll County Senior Activity Centers. Jay Leno talked about this a couple of years ago. Obviously, managers of a New York town had their TV sets off when Leno aired this. Last week, they banned daily card games at their Senior Centers because of the money stakes. These poor city fathers will have to learn the hard way, just as they did in Westminster, that the power of the elderly is mighty.
03. Carroll County, Maryland has always been a very safe place to live, in fact, hardly anybody ever locked their car doors, until now. Last week, 15 cars were broken into and items removed. All but one of the car doors were unlocked. The perpetrators will probably be found to be 20-year old males, whose medula oblongatas have not yet matured, and who are heavily into drugs.. that they buy on the street corners of Baltimore City.
.............................................................................................................
01. Manson clan member, Squeaky Fromme, was released from prison. Now, let's see if she moves in with her buddy, Baltimore's own, John Waters.
02. Slovakia has outlawed the speaking of anything but Slovak in Government offices and businesses. Hungarian can be spoken at cultural events, but all jokes must be repeated in Slovak.
03. An Afghan bill just became law and allows a man to starve his wife if she refuses to have sex. In addition, a woman must get a husband's permission to work and fathers and grandfathers are given exclusive custody of children. (sounds like the Taliban is back in power)
04. Somebody asked Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi (72) if it wasn't dangerous for him to be messing around with his 17 year old girlfriend. Silvio supposedly said: "Well, if she dies, she dies." (I know, it's an old joke.)
05. A Spanish study found that women who drink moderate amounts of beer are strengthening their bones because of the plant homones in that drink. (What about men? My bones must be nice and strong.)
06. A Joliet, Illinois spectator gave a boisterous yawn in court and the insulted judge sentenced him to 6 months in jail! (Come on, Judge, a $50 fine maybe... but 6 months? Who elected this judge?)
07. Is a rooster an "alarm cluck?"
08. Chinese astronauts will no longer be allowed to have bad breath.
09. A bank fired an employee for tackling a robber and holding him for police!
10. The Wisconsin State Fair initiated a couple of new treats:
Chocolate covered bacon on a stick.
Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in pancake batter and deep fried.
Ummmm... Yummy!
11. The "birthers" who tried to bash Obama about his birth certificate, showed a picture of what they said was his certificate that showed his birthplace as "Republic of Kenya." As we would have guessed, the Republic of Kenya was not yet in existence when Obama was born. (Some of these "birthers" profess to be "born again" Christians, yet continue to "bear false witness.")
12. A Washington, DC lobbying firm admitted sending forged letters urging oposition to climate change legislation.
13. Elkridge, Maryland police found 28 cats and a guinea pig during a house investigation. They also found two dead cats in the refrigerator freezer.
Now... let's talk about Westminster, Maryland.
Jamison Hensley, writing in the Baltimore Sun, mentioned that football teams, like the Ravens, go to "out-of-the-way" locations, like Westminster, to practice. In fact, he said that the lure of these places is that nothing is happening there to distract them.
Maybe so, but I take this as an insult. There are lots of things going on in Westminster, Maryland. However, most of the activity is not the kind of stuff that would interest so-called sophisticated ball players or sportscasters. For instance:
01. Sixth graders at Northwest Middle School have created a website on the history of Robert Moton High School, a segregated black high school from not so long ago.
02. After a public rebellion a while ago, Senior citizen gamblers could once again play for small stakes money at Carroll County Senior Activity Centers. Jay Leno talked about this a couple of years ago. Obviously, managers of a New York town had their TV sets off when Leno aired this. Last week, they banned daily card games at their Senior Centers because of the money stakes. These poor city fathers will have to learn the hard way, just as they did in Westminster, that the power of the elderly is mighty.
03. Carroll County, Maryland has always been a very safe place to live, in fact, hardly anybody ever locked their car doors, until now. Last week, 15 cars were broken into and items removed. All but one of the car doors were unlocked. The perpetrators will probably be found to be 20-year old males, whose medula oblongatas have not yet matured, and who are heavily into drugs.. that they buy on the street corners of Baltimore City.
.............................................................................................................
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