The crazy world continues to spin

Here are a few of the things that take up a small number of the billions of neurons in my skinny brain:

01.   Wow!  That's smart!

Scientific American magazine for July 2011 includes the following article, that I highly recommend:
"The Physics of Intelligence..Evolution has packed 100 billion neurons into our three-pound brain. CAN WE GET ANY SMARTER?"

The author, Douglas Fox doesn't think we can get too much smarter.. but perhaps technology and culture may someday enable us to form a collective human entity (like bees)  that would be smarter than the sum of its parts.  Could this be where we are heading with Facebook and other social media?  Wikipedia?  Google?

What about other creatures?  It was interesting to hear this week that an elephant has now figured out how to use a tool to gain access to food normally out of his reach.  This puts Jumbo in the same brainpower category as dolphins, otters,  and chimpanzees.

And.. of course.. whales.  Think about a humpback..  it works with its siblings to round up schools of herring, mackrel, and krill for supper.. all the while singing popular whale songs as it glides effortlessly through its environment.. enjoying all of the activity going on in its enormous brain.

02.  Hay ride?

Well, the Iowa Straw Poll voting is over and results are in.  It is interesting to me that each voter has to have a $30 ticket, that is probably handed to a supporter by one of their candidate's staff..  so, the candidate whose staff is not agressive enough to get many tickets.. logically gets less of the vote.. at least it seems that way to me.  Check it all out on Wikipedia.  An explanation of the vote and a tabulation of the results by year is shown.  Very interesting.

03.  Papa Smurf

Last Thursday, I picked up a book at the Westminster Senior Activity Center, called Winters' Tale.  No, it wasn't written by Shakespeare.  It was a book of short stories by Jonathan Winters.   I have liked Mr. Winters for many years and his brand of crazy humor, so I couldn't wait to sit down quietly and read his book.  Unfortunately, even though he has been making people laugh for 60 years (He's almost 85 years old),  this book was the most unfunny book I have ever read.  I got almost all the way through before I threw the book in the recycling bin. 

I see by his website ( http://www.jonathanwinters.com/ ) that some signed copies of that book are selling for hundreds of dollars.  I wonder why.

However, don't let what I say influence you.  If you like Mr. Winters' work, check out the book and form your own opinion.  And, by all means, listen to the NPR interview of him on his website.  Perhaps this will help you remember when Johnny Carson presented him with a stick and Jonathan did "stick schtick" with it for ten minutes.  I certainly have enjoyed all of Mr. Winters' "schtick" for many years, and I wish him many more years of humorous activity.

04.  Ow! That smarts!

It was mentioned today on NPR that Leon Trotsky was killed by someone thrusting an ice pick through his eye.  Yuk!  I know how that feels.  Every few weeks I have to have eyeball injections for macular degeneration in my right eye.  But it is doing me good.  When I started, I saw a round black ball through that eye.  Now, there is no black ball at all, but just a picture of reality that is kind of wavy.  Someday, I may even be able to read with that eye again.  Using both eyes together, my vision is extremely good.

Last month, at the preliminary examination (before the shot), the examiner said: "Even though your right eye ain't too good, your left eye is smokin'!"  Hey, man, that's good to hear.

05.  Save on savon

It was also mentioned on NPR today that "air baths" are just as good as soaking in a soap filled tub.. probably better, because you don't get all that "unsightly soap film" all over your body.  My cousin Charlie enlightened me a few years ago that perspiration per se does not smell.  Tell that to the deodorant sellers.   

06.   Dog-napping

I read where the thefts of dogs has increased in the past year.  The most common theft occurs in home invasions.. burglaries..  besides the giant TV, the dog is snatched as well. 

The second most common theft is from the car where the dog is sitting while the owner is in a store like WalMart.  Having the window cracked is probably  a help to the thief. 

The next most common theft occurs when the owner ties the dog up outside while they shop inside.

In all of these instances.. why didn't the dogs bite or scare away the thief? Was the dog napping?

Just be aware that these thefts are taking place, and make sure you have a micro chip implanted in Fido.

07.  Dog-pooping

The Week magazine mentions that a Taiwanese city has offered dog owners who clean up after their pets, a ticket to a lottery drawing for every bag of dog poop turned in.  The prize can go as high as $2,100.

08.  Anti-Social Media?

The Week magazine also mentions that a crime fugitive taunted police on his Facebook page.  "Catch me if you can.  I'm in Brooklyn."  Apparently, he didn't do his privacy setting properly, so police shortly popped in on him at his apartment, where he was still interacting with Facebook.

09.  Cell phones

I have mentioned this before.  One of the most glamorous movie stars of all time was named Hedy Lamarr.  However, most people do not know that she and a co-inventor developed "frequency hopping" which is now used in cell phone technology. Check out this website.. it even has a copy of the invention documents.

http://www.inventions.org/culture/female/lamarr.html

10.  Pope Joan

A new religious book has been published by Random House:  Absolute Monarchs:  A History of the Papacy by John Julius Norwich.   I haven't read the book yet, but I am intrigued by a review in The Week magazine.  May I quote:  "Legend has it that there was even a female pontiff.  Pope Joan, the story goes, briefly became the leader of the Catholic church during the ninth century by disguising herself.  She was purportedly discovered when she gave birth while attempting to mount a horse."

11.  Satan triumphs?

The West Memphis 3 were just released from prison.  Prosecutors decided not to retry them for the  1993 slaying of three cub scouts.  The slaying has been reported as part of a horrible Satanic ritual.
Many felt that they were wrongly convicted.  They were allowed to plead "guilty" in exchange for release; thereby, saving the prosecutor from retrying the case and losing because of the lack of original evidence.   We will probably now be able to revisit the documentary about the case on TV.

12.  Stinkbugs attack!

So far, we have lost our Zuchini and Squash plants to stinkbugs.  Now they are eyeing up our tomato plants.  Unfortuately, there is no way to get rid of them in a reliable way.  We can't use insecticides.  We are squirting them with soapy (savon) water.  They don't like that, but just fly away in disgust.  There are traps that use stinkbug sex hormone... but, as with Japanese Beetle lures, that is exactly what they do.. lure other stinkbugs to join them.  At least we have lots of tomatoes this year and can share them, albeit reluctantly, with the bugs.  I'm glad they don't like flowers.

Cycle of life.

Today, I want to talk about the crazy news, but first I want to tell you about a great loss to the world of opera... the death of Joan Sutherland. Then, I want to tell you about Elaine's latest accomplishment. Then, the other stuff.


01 A Diva is gone. The cycle of life.

At the age of 83, and still a diva. Joan Sutherland passed away in October. "La Stupenda" was a wonderful "bel canto" singer. Two of her most famous roles were as Lucia and Norma. Dame Sutherland was a very tall (Julia Childs type) and dominated the stage with her presence at first and then when she began to sing.









02. The Miracle of Birth. (The cycle of life.) A few months ago, as I mentioned in a prior blog entry, Elaine was witness to the birth of three deer in our "backyard" here at Carroll Lutheran Village. She wrote about the experience for the "Creative Expressions" book, published annually by the Village. She has now been asked to read her story on a local radio station.



Elaine has a very well modulated speaking voice and has had some acting experience. She was an extra in the movie "Hannibal" and also in the Baltimore version of the Australian TV series, "Homicide, Life on the Street".



We think that only two of the deer survived, because every once in a while, we see two young deer jumping and running while their mama quietly observes. We have been told that a birth of three deer is an unusual occurence. Elaine noticed that the first two baby deer jumped right up and started moving about, but the third was kind of sluggish. Recently, we placed a salt block near where the deer congregate sometimes, hoping to get them into position so we can take a good photo of the family together.





03. Math. U.K. researchers have determined that giving a slight electrical shock over the right ear improves a person's math abilities for months. Some of my friends tell me that a good smack on a child's butt by a father improves scholastic ability as well.



04. Sarah. Golly! Gee whiz! Alaska is a dangerous but energizing place. How do you like her "reality show?"



05. Deficit cutting. Cut Social Security. - No way! Cut Medicare. - No way! Cut the Federal workforce. - Are you crazy? Cut earmarks. - Sure (but not really.. because how else can I produce for my constituents and get re-elected?) Raise gasoline tax. - Ouch!

The cure for it all.. 100% employment. (Or.. steal back the billions of dollars that the Iraqis and Afghanis have been stealing from us for years now.)



06. Jailhouse lawyer. A prisoner is suing the parents of a boy he killed while driving 80 miles an hour. He says that the parents not forcing the boy to wear a helmet has caused him great emotional pain and suffering. He has ten more years to endure this pain.. hopefully, he will be able to endure it for the full ten years and not be given an early release.



07. Hyper-texting. Hyper-texters send at least 120 text messages a day. Would somebody explain to me what these messages could possibly impart? I remember visiting a friend's home many years ago, before texting, but when online messaging was in its infancy. His son had an internet connection on his PC and was engaged in this kind of interplay of messages.

"Hi."
"Hi."
"Waddaya doin today?"
"Nothin. Waddaya doin today?"
"Nothin. Want to come over?"
"Nope.. We got company."
"Can I come over?"
"Yes."
"What can we do?"
"I dont know. What can we do?"

etc... more of the same.



At the time, everybody thought this was cute.. after all, the kids involved were 8 years old.

In the future, the world will be populated with people with giant thumbs and no speaking ability.



08. Hyper-networkers. These are people, not necessarily kids, who spend three or more hours on social network sites like Facebook. I wonder how much of this time is spent playing online games. Some people mix media.. for instance, some people seem to treat Facebook entries like Twitter entries. "I'm going to the grocery store now." "I''m back from the grocery store now."

Come on, give me a break! Luckily, one can block Facebook entries and not have to tell the blockee that they are blocked, so no feelings are hurt.



09. Come on, Dick! The Week magazine cites a tabloid entry that quotes Dick Van Dyke saying that once he fell asleep on his surfboard and when he woke up, porpoises pushed him all the way in to shore. Dick, did you bang your head when you tripped over the hassock?



10. By the beard of the prophet! Another qoted tabloid entry mentions that two guys confessed to forcing a man to eat his own beard.

I've decided not to be Santa Claus this year. I had a job offer back in Spring, and I said that I might try it. But now.. after reading some David Sidaris stories, I don't thing I want to have the experience of little kids climbing on my lap, pulling my beard, vomiting on my knees, .... you get the picture.



11. Carlin. Yesterday, I bought the book Last Words, a memoir by George Carlin, with an assist by Tony Hendra. In reading the introcuction by Tony, I realized that he was the guy who wrote about Father Joe, a great read.


I note that the seven words made famous by George Carlin are being used more and more often by people on Facebook. Even some of my grandchildren are using such words once in a while. I realize that these are only "words" and one should not get upset upon hearing them. However, the young person that uses these words should realize that some older people who might be helpful to them in the future may be placing them in a category of people that they do not care to help, based on their vocabulary.



I loved George Carlin, and I enjoyed his humor. I have reservations about so-called comedians who must rely on George's seven words to be funny. They have not understood George's genius as a humorist. To show that you can be funny even without using the seven words, visit my joke blog.



http://joevaughansjokes.blogspot.com/



12. Devastating insight. Those ubiquitous U.K. researchers have now discovered that some dogs are pessimistic. How on earth did they discover that. Cats? Maybe. But, surely not dogs.
I think their research is in error. All the dogs I know seem to be happy go lucky and glad to see you.



Blogs rhyme with dogs, and my theory is that blogs, like dogs, should all be optimistic.



And I'm glad that you took time out of your busy day to visit my blog.
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Weekly Dozen @ March 20, 2010

Happy Spring! It is a beautiful 70 degree day here in Maryland where our weather goes from below freezing to Summer heat in a matter of days.

Lots of stuff going on today.. the Senate Rules Committee is getting ready to do their thing about the Health Reform Bill.. the robins are pulling skinny worms out of the moist ground.. the Mt. Airy, Maryland, St James Church now has two of our old television sets and 15 old telephone sets for recycling.. I delivered a lot of my beer making material to my son-in-law John so that he can make more of that wonderful brew.. and here is/are a dozen of things to think about. (Those tricky collective nouns! English must be a very tough language for foreign speakers to learn.)

01. Japanese. Speaking of foreign languages, every day recently comments have been posted on some of my blog entries, and most of those are in Japanese. How did they know that I am right now trying to learn to read their language? (It is an amazing experiece just to find out the history of each ideogram.)

Since I can't read the language yet, I used Google translator on one comment. The result, unfortunately, was unintelligible. So, maybe I'm dealing with some nuts, or I just don't know how to interpret Google's translation. I'll try again later.

02. Irish stuff: A leprechaun museum has been opened in Dublin, or so I've heard. Last year, I submitted a picture I took at Ocean City, Maryland, of a double rainbow. When I saw the phenomenon, I immediately tried to find the end of each to see if it was true that there were pots of gold there, hidden by those spritely elves that the Irish know exist. No luck, so I took a picture instead. It was a pretty good picture and was published in Creative Expressions. (When I learn to post a picture to a blog, I will add it.)

Faith.. and can ye tell me what beautiful green-colored Country is the richest in the world?

Why of course, it's Ireland, whose capitol is always Dublin.

The first time I heard that, I laughed so hard I fell out of my high-chair and spilled my Irish oatmeal.


03. Facebook: The Italian police have just found and arrested Pasquale (a famous crook) by reading his Facebook entries and profile.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me says that there is a new Mafia social network site called Scarface Book.

04. Postal Delivery: I've been following the Postmaster General's recent testimony to the Senate on cost-cutting efforts. He wants to cut out mail delivery on Saturday. One of his reasons is because people don't really get much mail on that day anyway.. probably an average of only 3 pieces of mail. I just retrieved the mail from my mailbox, and it is Saturday.. there were 19 pieces of mail. I guess I am above-average. (Garrison has always said that I was.)

05. Announcements: Apparently, people in New York are complaining about emergency loudspeaker announcements being unintelligible. I would have thought that they knew that already.. haven't they ever tried to put in an order at a fast food drive in lane?

06. Q-Tips: Our Siamese cat, SuZee, has been provided with lots of catnip-filled cat toys. Does she play with them? No. Instead, she plays with Q-Tips. She wrestles with them, carries they around like they are prey, and vigorously seeks them out from wherever we hide them. We have given up.. she always finds them. Elaine thinks we should open a business selling them as cat toys. We could become rich maybe.. of course, we would have to pretty them us somewhat and make sure that the Q-Tip people did not sue us.

07. Fighting: This week I learned that there is a lady who teaches "Cane Fu" fighting. She teaches senior citizens how to defend themselves with their cane. She presented her program at a recent local Expo, but somehow, I missed it. I don't carry a cane anyway and I try to keep away from dangerous areas, as everyone should.

I did hear about a church somewhere near that sponsors violent fighting matches by their congregants so they can learn how to defend themselves in the real violent world. (I thought you were supposed to turn the other cheek.)

08. Government Work: Millie Parsons retired a while ago after serving 59 years with the FBI.. during that time, she never took one hour of sick leave. Somehow, she found time to become a champion ballroom dancer.

(I believe that Lil Steinhorn still holds the record for the longest work for the Government. She worked most of the time for the Social Security Administration in the Baltimore area. On the day she retired, she showed up at the Social Security Alumni Association office and volunteered for work. Lil passed away in 2009. She was over 90 years old.)

09. Texas Interview: Some folks have wondered what is in the latest schoolbooks in Texas.

Interviewer: "Hello, young man. May I ask you a question?"

Texas kid: "Yes, maam."

Int: "Who was Thomas Jefferson?"

Kid: "I don't know maam, was he in a TV show?"

Int: "Isn't he mentioned in your school history book?"

Kid: "No, maam.. and I just finished the whole book in class."

Int: "Do you know who wrote the 'Declaration of Independance?"

Kid: "Oh, yes, maam.. then you must mean Jefferson Davis, who was a hero at the Alamo and later tried bravely to get us independance from a tyrant."

Int: "Did you study about evolution in your classes?"

Kid: "You must mean revolution."

Int: "No, I mean the study of the origin and advancement of life."

Kid: "Oh yes, maam. We studied all about the Garden of Eden in our book."


10. Notch Babies: Well they're at it again. Brown government-looking envelopes are being mailed to senior citizens asking for donations so that they can lobby Congress for some money to make up for the reason they are "Notch Babies".

In a nutshell, years ago, Congress made a mistake in a Social Security benefit formula for a couple of months.. and some people have gotten a larger monthly benefit than people before or after them. If Congress voted to give money to those that came on Social Security right after the more-money persons.. they would have to then give money to all of the ones thereafter.. this would immediately bankrupt the US Government.. and Congress ain't goin' to do it! So.. save your own money and don't contribute to this scheme!

I brought this out as a SCAM to my fellow TRIAD members Thursday, and was informed, rightly, by one of the Police Officers in attendance, that this is not really a scam. It is just another way for unscrupulous people to say they are going to lobby for something that will not take place, while taking donations from lots of senior citizens who can't afford to donate.

My uncle Allen sent these folks lots of money. He passed away in 2009, as did many of the people who were affected by this. Apparently, there are still enough of these folks alive to make this a lucrative ploy.

But, because they will run out of "clients" in a few years, they are now recruiting other "notch babies". In fact, I got a letter this week, naming me as one who would be in the "notch" universe. Guess what? I do not get Social Security. And, I am also no where near old enough to be included in this universe.

I'll bet that these scumbags are now buying mailing lists of any and all senior citizens in an attempt to milk some more money out of the gullible.

11. Parachuting bears: Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me mentions that someone has come up with a great solution for finding Osama Ben Laden. Parachute bears down from planes over Afghanistan or Pakistan. Bears are known for being great trackers and would go into the caves and come up with their prey. One might ask how bears would like to be put into a parachute.. which would have to self-destruct on landing.. also, who would train the bears.. Russians are good at training bears, but they, like Alexander the Great and others since, no longer want to have anything to do with Afghanistan.

12. Lunch?: Can this be true? As a guy was sitting in his car, he felt the car shake violently. Upon investigation, he found a bulldog consuming one of his tires. After being unsuccessful in stopping the dog, he gave up and watched as the dog consumed another of his tires and also half of one bumper. Finally, I guess someone shot the dog. I'm not sure of this and I need to investigate.. it sounds fascinating. Was the car a formerly accelerating Toyota? A recalled Honda? Was this really a stunt dog for a movie filming? Was this a CIA training session for an Afghanistan military secret weapon, like the parachuting bear? Perhaps that is what happens when the bear lands on the ground, it seeks out Taliban or Al Quida vehicles and like the bulldog, tears them to bits. ???

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News and Insights for a Sunday in December 2009

Some things to think about from this week's news, The Week magazine, and experiences in this land of the free and the brave:

01. There now are more independent voters than democrats and republicans. (As an Independent, I have received surveys from both parties.)

02. It costs $55. to take a cab from downtown Baltimore to Owings Mills, Maryland. Only $1.50 on the subway. (Ask my son-in-law John for a story.)

03. It finally happened, a ten year old Idaho boy got his tongue stuck to a metal fence pole.

04. A guy interupted his wedding ceremony to send a Tweet and a Facebook update about what he was doing.

05. A lawyer is suing to close down a soup kitchen because it is a nuisance and encourages people to stay bums.

06. Viagra is being considered as a performance enhancing medium.. in sports.

07. A gay Baltimore Episcopal priest has become a bishop in Los Angeles. She has been in a relationship since 1988, a lot longer than many male-female relationships.

08. Chinese drivers have become the largest group of car buyers in the world.

09. Gold is selling at over $1,200 per ounce. (How much do you think you can get for your old class ring?)

10. Most stout beers have an alcohol content of 4%, which is a little less than some light beers. (I find that very hard to believe.)

11. Baltimore's Bel-Loc Diner on Joppa Road has been named as one of the "South's" best diners. (Is it in the "South"? Well, we are below the Mason-Dixon Line.)

12. Red wine can help prevent tooth decay, besides being good for your heart. (So, now stop bugging me.)

13. The Pakistani Taliban has destroyed over 400 girl's and coed schools.

14. In Uganda, if you don't report homosexual activity that you observe or suspect, you can be sentenced to three years in jail. (What would Edie Amin do?)

15. Although he tried for a whole month, a Swedish man was unable to produce milk from his breasts.

16. Republican conservatives are demanding that future candidates agree to a ten-point conservative agenda. (Moderates need not apply.)

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End of week news.

Looking at the Baltimore Sun for Friday, August 7th, 2009:

01. I learned that Justice Sotomayor has had diabetes since childhood. This is an insidious disease and she has had to overcome its terrible effects and still become a success. I also learned that she was a recipient of affirmative action who then graduated with highest honors. There is a lesson there.

02. There was a picture of Snoop Dogg at the Raven's Camp, with the legend: Westminster Dogg Show.

03. A related article was about nicknames used by gang members. It said that some of the toughest guys have silly-sounding monikers. They mentioned that one guy was known as "Brazy" instead of "Crazy" because as a "Blood" he can't use the letter "C" in his name.

04. I was interested in this statement: "Even in a region with nearly double-digit unemployment, the crab companies remain reliant on migrant labor from abroad because so few local residennts are willing to take the messy, repetitive (crab-picking) jobs."

05. A drug suspect tried to swallow a bag of drugs and choked to death. Now his buddies are saying he really died of a police beating.

06. A technically knowledgable teen-ager made more than 80 credit cards with a machine in his home. He was arrested after he used some woman's debit card to pay for a vehicle emissions test and a $650 tab at a nightclub.

07. Senator Mikulski says that her rehab for ankle surgery at Mercy Hospital was like "boot camp". Nice play on words.

08. Flu shots later this year will probably consist of three shots: one for regular flu and two for Swine flu. (My shingles shot is still hurting my arm.)

09. China is investigating the death of a teen-ager who was allegedly beaten to death in (get this) a camp designed to treat Internet addiction.

10. Ronnie Biggs was released from jail.. look up: The Great Train Robbery!

11. Twitter suffered a "distributed denial of service (DDOS)" which is a disruptive tactic where outsiders attempt to overload a web site with huge numbers of computer-generated requests. They will have to learn how to handle these like Facebook has.

12. There was a nice long letter by two ladies who have lived together for 30 years, 5 of those as a married couple... although the marriage is not recognised by Maryland. It should be read by everyone.

13. There was a notice of the passing of family friend, Evelyn. Also a notice of the passing of the father of Mike, who graduated from high school with Elaine.

14. The Iraqi parliament is trying to ban smoking in government buildings and public indoor area.

(Watch out... remember the man who opened fire in a restaurant when he was asked to put out his cigarette.. I wonder if this has occured in the U.S......yet.)

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Curating the news?

The Union representing Boston Globe workers gave in at the last minute to demands by the New York Times corporation on the matter of job guarantees. Now the Boston Globe will continue to publish. Papers like the Globe are having trouble because of a number of problems: people are leaving print media for what they can find on the Internet, advertising revenue is down because of the Recession, the cost of print supplies is rising, monetary promises to retired workers are getting hard to honor, etc.

Senator Kerry will be holding a hearing today about the future of printed newspapers vs Internet news. Perhaps, someday, we may have to kick-in a few bucks to be able to get our news via Yahoo, Google, or some other Internet source. (Right now, I have a computer start-up screen that gives me news from all of the major sources. Actually, it gives me all the headlines and I pick which stories I wish to look at in greater detail. Also, I get TWITTER and FACEBOOK new information. All of this is FREE... and I ought not need to read a print newspaper... but of course I do. I wonder how many young people ever read a print newspaper.)

I believe that Senator Cardin will be pushing legislation that would make print newspapers non-profit entities. I wonder if that legislation has a chance of getting anywhere.

And.. there is talk of a "bail-out" for newspapers, similar to that for the auto industry.

I've heard that France has a newspaper subscription subsidy program that doesn't seem to be working very well.

Do we in the US want the Government subsidising newspapers and probably telling them what to tell their readers? Haven't we already had a taste of that? Where were the pictures of returning coffins from the Gulf Wars?

Probably we are heading to Sunday only print newspapers for the major sources. Local newspapers will probably survive.. I hope so.

Many newspapers no longer have the money to go after stories on their own.. or do investigative journalism. In fact, according to what someone said today on the Diane Rehm show, newspapers in 27 States have no representatives in Washington, DC and have to rely on what their National feeders tell them.

Give yourself a treat and view It Happened One Night, the famous 1934 movie with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. Besides showing what life was like 75 years ago during the "Great Depression", it also depicts how newspapers worked in those days.

Back to local newspapers: Most of the groups I'm involved in, like NARFE, AARP, SSAA, etc., have come to the conclusion that my picture has been shown too often in local Carroll County (Maryland) papers... so, that will no longer be the case (except in rare situations). I know, I know, my many fans will be protesting this decision, but they must realize that other notables need to be seen from time to time and Joe Vaughan has had enough publicity already. ;0)

Basta!

AMTRAK in the Year 2009

For several years I was a member of NARP (National Association of Railroad Passengers) which is an organization devoted to improving train travel throughout the U.S. I quit my membership a couple of years ago when I decided that it wasn't lobbying harder for more rail lines. Travel to the big cities in Canada and see how massive their systems are.

Anyway, I still love to travel by train. When I was stationed in Europe for close to four years, I traveled extensively by train until I won enough money in blackjack to buy a little green jeep (that's a subject for another blog.) I always traveled 2nd class (they had three classes then). First class was too expensive for me, and in 3rd class, you had to sometimes share your seat with goats and pigs and people who ate lots and lots of garlic. (Many people had beautiful leather briefcases.... filled with their lunches of sausages, bread and wine.)

I often took the Orient Express to Cologne (Koeln) and it was always a fun time. With people playing guitars, sharing wine, singing and telling jokes. Whenever I couldn't get the Orient Express Eilzug, I would get stuck on a langsam Zug and have to spend the night in Gerolstein. (Yes, there is music relating to this town.) I always stayed at a Pension that had wonderful feather beds. If you have never slept on a feather bed, you are in for a great treat someday. I highly recommend it. Anyway, I wish that travel on U.S. trains were as much fun.

A few years ago, when I had to travel by rail to Providence, I upgraded my coach fair to business class. It was amazing! The seats were separate from each other, there was lots and lots of room to stretch out, the chairs reclined almost to beds, an attendant brought a free newspaper, another attendant brought a free beer and snacks, another attendant offered to shine my shoes....I thought that I had died and gone to train rider's heaven.

I had upgraded because of something Arthur Godfrey (you remember "the old redhead") used to say: "Pay a little extra and go first class!" I heard him say that in 1958, so it didn't help me earlier in Europe. But I am glad that I followed his advice on that trip.

So, on my recent trip to Providence on AMTRAK in March of 2009, I once again upgraded from coach to business class.. there was no higher class on this train. I expected great things and was a little disappointed to find that the seats were 2x2 and looked to me like coach seats. I later confirmed that this was true. The seats in coach were exactly the same, as far as I could see. Business class had pull down tables, so did coach; business class had electrical outlets, so did coach; business class had blue reclining seats, so did coach. What did business class have that warranted the extra charge?

A complimentary 8 ounce ginger ale (but only on the return trip).

However, there was one big plus for business class: it was not crowded and I did not have to share my seat with anyone.

There was a long walk to the snack bar and one of the coach cars was the "silent car". In that car, people were discouraged from making loud conversation or talking on cell phones. That seemed like a good innovation. Even though I was in business class (or because of it) I was subjected to a DC couple loudly rehearsing how they were going to convince Congress that they needed to give that lucrative contract to their company.

The price of snacks on the train was a bit high, but expected. Snacks in the Providence train station were priced reasonably.. but in the Baltimore station..... unbelievably high and outrageous.

While getting a coffee in Providence, a lady in a parka kept looking at me and smiling. Finally, she got up enough courage to ask me if I was in the movies. (!) I told her that I had been in a few local videos, but definitely not big time stuff. (Elaine is the movie star, not me.) I asked her if she thought I was Wilfred Brimley... you know, the fat old guy with a walrus mustache. No, she said she was thinking of somebody else. She was a singer from Portland, Maine and we had a nice talk about Barber Shop Quartets and the Sweet Adelines, of which she was a member.

Normally, when I have encounters like this, I offer the person a membership in the Joe Vaughan Fan Club. I should have done so.. she would have been my only Maine member.

Back in Baltimore, I observed a "sign of the times": the man who runs the shoeshine stand in the Pennsylvania Station had a laptop nearby, and he was networking on Facebook as he waited for customers.