Rainy Season Thoughts

Well, the wind stopped a bit.. but it still is sputtering rain.  Our yellow flowers with pink insides are blooming in spite of the lousy weather.  As is usual, regardless of the weather, I have a compulsion to share news, jokes and "Crankshaft" type observations with anyone nearby.  So, if you have anything else to do with your time, avoid this blog entry.  Remember.. you've been warned.

01.  Car Talk

At the opening of today's Car Talk show, the Massachusetts guys posed some scientific type questions.  I don't think they would mind if I mention them here. (By the way, if you have not listened to that NPR show, you are missing a great experience.)

Q. What do you call a really small bottle of mouthwash?  
A.  Microscope.

Q. What is the mathematical ratio used in constructing an igloo?
A. Eskimo pie.

Q.  What is the shortest distance between 2 jokes.
A.  A straight line.

Q.  What is the term for the time between the stepping on a banana peel and falling on the ground?
A.  A bananasecond.

02.  More names.

Every so often, I mention people's names that I have collected over the years.  I apologize to those who own these names, but I think they are humorous.  If you know these people, please don't tell them, because I don't want to get a punch in the nose.

ALCOHOL:
Zula Z. Boozer
Martin I. Sober

FAMOUS NAMES:
Willie Huckleberry Finn
Mona Lisa Guess

FEATHERED FRIENDS:
Birdie Berryhill
Cola Chick
Russell Feathers
Canary Sires

FOOD:
Mr. Sizzleberger

JEWELS:
Opal Galightly
Fairest Ruby Klepfer

MEDICAL CONDITIONS:
Round Barnes
Bland Butts
Ether Boyant Horn
A. Reck
Rena Sweat
Sinus Wilzy

MEN AND WOMEN:
Mrs. Husband
William Sex Pattern

MISCELLANEOUS:
Other Bradshaw
Blueford Corsey
Mr. Richendollar

03.  What happened?

Last December, police in Ransom, Illinois, (population: 409) were looking for a woman who walked away from an automobile crash that left her husband dead.  The only clues were some footprints in the snow and a slipper. Dressed in a red party dress and one slipper, she should not have been that difficult to find.  Perhaps her bright dress in the white snow caught the attention of the pilot of an alien craft and she has been abducted and held for ransom.  I haven't seen any more news about this incident on the Internet.  I hope she was found in time for Christmas.

04.  What happened?

In August of 2009, it was reported that Michael Jackson's artificial nose had disappeared from his body in the morgue.  I'm not sure if that report was true or not.  Michael is supposed to have had a bottle full of fake noses.  I read where his real nose had collapsed after excessive plastic surgeries.  If someone had stolen the nose, it probably will show up years hence as a "holy relic."

05.  Survival equipment.

Transportation officials in one of China's provinces have outfitted buses with large orange bricks attached with long strings.  These are supposed to be used by passengers in  emergency situations, so they can break a window and escape.

06.  Negligence case.

A Chicago woman got drunk and fell through the window of a hair salon.  She later sued the owner because he should have had safety glass installed.. lots of drunks apparently walk by his shop, and he should have been prepared for one of them to fall through.   I wonder if she won her suit.

07.  No global warming?

The huge glacier on Mount Margherita in Uganda has cracked and is now blocking access by mountain climbers to the summit.  The glacier has reportedly ruptured because of excessive melting.  It is one of the very few places near the equator that has ice; the glacier has shrunk by 75% in the recent past and may completely disappear by 2030.

08.  Call my brother: ISHMAEL.  Call me: AHAB.*

Composer Jake Heggie and librettist Gene Scheer have created the opera: Moby-Dick.  It is a three hour creation that I am anxious to see and hear.  There are lots of reviews out on the Internet.. I personally don't want to read any because I feel they might affect my own considerations when I finally see the opera. 

*(If you are a member of the National Puzzlers League, you will recognise me and my brother by these noms.)

09.  We know where you are!

For a long time, I have wondered why my DROID always knows exactly where I am.  Now the word is out. I wonder if Bin Laden has an IPHONE or a DROID?  I guess not.. so, let's send him one.

10.  Baltimore event.

The Wait Wait Don't Tell Me show was taped and broadcast this week at the Meyerhoff Symphony Hall in Baltimore, Maryland. Baltimore's own John Waters, was the celebrity guest. (John's book: Role Models comes out this week in paperback.)

http://www.npr.org/programs/wait-wait-dont-tell-me/


11.  Shazam!

I just realized that there is a big problem now that phone booths have all but disappeared.  Where will Clark Kent change into his Superman suit?  Evildoers are rejoicing everywhere.  (When I was a small kid and owned Superman comic book number one.. I actually wondered what would happen if Clark couldn't find a phone booth that was unoccupied.) I don't think that Captain Marvel needed a phone booth.  Neither did the Green Hornet or Batman.

12.  Are you handy?

A Neurologist from Newton, Massachusetts says that right-handed people are mostly boring and left-handed people are mostly interesting.  I'm ambidextrous.. what about me?  (Don't answer that!)

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A great day! My Dell laptop is back and even though Dell said they had to fix four problems, they retained my files and a cd-rom stuck in the drive. Also, the Dow is headed back up to 9,000!

Today I go to get a Shingles shot. Quite expensive, but those of us who had Chicken Pox as kids are susceptible to Shingles as we get older. This is an extremely painful disease. I can still remember my Grandfather suffering with the pain for almost a year. Sometimes the pain can last for the rest of one's life. (One of my friends is suffering from Shingles right now and as an empath I can feel her excrutiating pain whenever I talk to her.) I am the Shingles Shot Guinea Pig.. if I don't have side-effects from the shot, maybe Elaine will get it.

For years I have toyed with the idea of writing a book about some of my experiences. (yes.. I have had some experiences, you disbelievers) At the moment, the plan is to just write about my experiences in the Baltimore area.. from arrival in the city, to entry into Carroll Lutheran Village.. with emphasis on my time at the Social Security Administration. Also, lots of family stuff to help future Vaughan genealogists. It will probably be the most boring book ever written, but what the hell!

In the "Genealogy Gang" that meets in the Village, each of us has made a presentation about their life. We had about 45 minutes to an hour to do so. My time ran to over an hour, and I never did get past the years before I entered the Air Force. So you see, I have a lot to talk about.. now, whether it is interesting or not.. that is another story. If I get another chance to talk to the group, I will cover my time in the service, then my time in Boston, at the University and in the 38 jobs that I held while in school, and then the Baltimore part. (I may have to supply pillows for nodding heads.)

With my laptop back, I once again have access to a Dell home page, which I like because I can set up views of the titles of email from 8 of my email addresses and also have instant access to my MSN account. Now I have a universe of about 900 messages to look at. I do notice that the old "bugaboo" is back... that is, some of my dear and trusted friends and relatives are starting to forward to me erroneous and vicious "garbage" messages. (I thought that this all ended when 2009 started.) I wish that the people who forward this stuff would analyse what the messages say. Is it showing an underlying prejudice against some group or race or type of person? I now do not open forwarded messages unless the title clearly states that it is not "dumb" stuff. I just ask that those who want to forward such dribble, THINK first.

I have a subscription to what is now XM/SERIUS (sp?) and I listen to it when I am driving. Usually I just listen to XM 151 (Laugh USA) which is a "clean joke" station, and as I have said many times before, if you have to stick some scatalogical thought or phrase into your joke to try to get a laugh from a person with an 11 year old mentality, you are not a real comedian. Yesterday, I switched to some of the talk shows and was completely grossed out by some of the lies being spewed by a couple of these guys. Come on! Do you really think that Americans are so dumb as to believe any of this crap? .... But... sadly, as evidenced by the comments of some of the people who called in to CSPAN this morning... some Americans do believe these lies, when just a small amount of checking, even on the Internet, would show them the truth.

Good news for readers. Barnes and Noble has announced that they have 700,000 books that can now be downloaded to iPHONES or iPOD Touch, and next year they will be coming out with an e-reader. Amazon's Kindle has access to only 300,000. Now, if only we could download some of those books directly to our brains so that it will not be necessary to take all that time to read them. ;0)

I have always thought that I would much rather have a nice paper book to hold and read rather than a computer screen to look at. But recently I went out to the site where you can read Moby Dick online. In my library, because I am a cetology cukoo, I have five different editions of Moby Dick, probably one of my favorite reads. I was able to read all of Chapter One again, but on my PC screen and it was wonderful. The print was large and easy on the eyes and I enjoyed traveling back to New Bedford again with my "brother" Ishmael.

Speaking of Ishmael.. my brother Joe and I are email pals again and I am enjoying his stories of youthful activity. He's an interesting guy, if I do say so myself.

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New Bedford

I've written a lot about New Bedford, but I don't think that I've included web addresses. So here goes:

The New Bedford Whaling Museum .. Without a doubt, the best museum in the world dealing with the whaling industry, the famous City of New Bedford, Massachusetts, and the current preservation of cetaceans. Visit this site and take all of the tours and I am sure that you will want to visit New Bedford and the Museum on your next vacation.

Most people think about New Bedford (if they think about it at all) as the home of the famous "Big Dan" case. But that is only one part of New Bedford's history.

01. It was the richest city in the United States for many years.
02. It was where the Lizzie Borden trial was held.
03. It is the biggest fishing port on the East Coast and probably in the whole U.S.
04. Herman Melville worked there and was inspired to write Moby Dick there.
05. The famous painter Albert Pinkham Ryder lived there.
06. Frederick Douglass took the "Underground Railroad" to New Bedford and worked in the whaling industry there.
07. Major Roberts wrote his parliamentary procedures manual (Robert's Rules of Order) while stationed in N.B.
08. The richest woman in the world lived there and made her money from the whaling industry. Hettie Green, the so-called "Witch of Wall Street".
09. Joe Vaughan grew up there.
10. For many years it was the Textile capitol of the U.S., until cheap labor lured the industry to the southern part of the country.
11. etc etc etc

Visit the website for the museum and browse the features. You will like it.

http://www.whalingmuseum.org

If you do have an interest in the whaling industry, you might also like to visit
The Nantucket Massachusetts Whaling Museum ..

While in no way as large or inclusive as the New Bedford museum, it is very interesting to visit. Some people think that the whaling industry was centered in Nantucket.. not so. New Bedford deserves that honor. But.. it is a very interesting place to visit, and its also a wonderful place to live if your income tops one million dollars a year.

http://www.nha.org/sites/index.html

Now, if you have gotten this far, I'm sure you will love this site.. this is where you can read the whole novel Moby Dick online.

http://www.princeton.edu/~batke/moby/

Finally, here is the address of the blog for a wonderful place in Melbourne, Australia.

http://whitewhaletheatre.wordpress.com

I may as well sign this edition of my blog with one of my nom de plumes that seems appropriate.


AHAB