Tuesday, July 21, 2015

Beautiful Carroll County; Ft. McHenry;Crime Examples; Guns; Knives; Spell Checker; Senior Joke

Every day I get up and look out the windows and see all of the greenness of Summer, and it makes me happy to be living in beautiful Wakefield Valley in beautiful Carroll County, in beautiful Maryland, in the beautiful U.S.A.  And tomorrow, Elaine and I get more patriotic feelings when we go on a trip to Fort McHenry.  I'm sure that before the day is over, we will have very wet handkerchiefs in response to the programs and singing.  Especially, of course, seeing the Star Spangled Banner flying over the Fort.. Long May it Wave!

In addition to beautiful greenness, Carroll County is also one of the safest Counties in Maryland and also in the United States.  However, we do have our moments.  Here are three crime (prime?) examples from today's Carroll County Times:

Farmer's Wife?

Apparently, a house guest must have said something his hostess did not like, and she tried to cut him  up with a kitchen knife.  He lived.  I hope he learned his lesson!

Tough Lady!

When she assaulted a visitor to her apartment, the victim called the police.  After a tussle, just as she was about to get into the police vehicle, she said that she was having a "diabetic attack", and the officer arranged for an ambulance to get her to the hospital.

After another tussle with EMT personnel, and a massive amount of obscenities being yelled out in the hospital, it was determined that she was faking her "diabetic attack,"  This announcement resulted in lots of kicking of hospital and police personnel, as well as a threat to burn down the hospital.  I think that they finally got her incarcerated.. one of the policemen involved thinks that this 59 year old lady may have been intoxicated.

This is not your basic "Bloom's Day!"

A group of people were standing outside of a local restaurant, waiting to be called to dinner, when a Mister Bloom showed up and must have said something that  rubbed them the wrong way, because an altercation occurred, in which Mister B.  sliced up one of them with his knife. He is now sleeping off his intoxication in the local jail.

Did you notice something strange in these three cases?   No guns involved.  Just knives, fists and legs.  Very seldom do I read about a case where a gun is involved.  And this is in Carroll County, where guns are a fairly common item in people's homes.  I love the people in Carroll County and I like to think that  they are a sensible lot when it comes to guns.  (Knives, I'm not so sure of.)

When I spent over three years in Germany during the 1950's, I was warned to carry a concealed weapon... i.e., a gun of some kind.   Well, I did not want to put myself in the position of getting into some kind of altercation with a German national and pulling out  a pistol to settle the argument.  But, I didn't want to be a complete dummy.. (this was just 7 years after Germany's defeat in WWII, afterall).. so, I kept a blank pistol in my right hand pocket.. it was only one inch long and took a very small charge of powder that would make a big bang and lots of smoke when the trigger was pulled.  Very scary.. especially for me. I never used it for anything except a conversation starter.

However, I did think that I needed some kind of real weapon to carry, so I purchased a German switchblade knife and also carried that for  three years.  I always wondered what I would have done if I had felt I had to use it.  I would have probably sliced myself up real bad.   But,  you know, that knife was a great tool for opening bottled beer and specialty beer cans.

Of course, back at the base, I always had my "burp gun".. and orders to "shoot any commies  trying to break into the Crypto van!"  Lucky as usual, I didn't have to fire the weapon.   (Somewhere else in these blog entries I have talked about the guy who was mad because I found out how he was cheating at Black Jack and conned him out of his beloved "shades"...  and how he fired at me in  the Crypto van one Sunday Afternoon.   Scary true story.. but complex, with lots of side stories that I need to write up someday.)  ("What Did You Do In The Army, Daddy?)

Jump to another subject, please, Joe.

Hillary's Spelling

I received a nice letter from Hillary Clinton, asking if she could count on me for a few bucks to help in her campaign.  As part of her background, she put out this sentence:  "I took a road trip to Iowa, spent a few days in New Hampshire, and will be heading to South Carolina and Neveda and I am working as hard as I can to earn every vote."

She must want my $15 so that she can buy a spell checker better that the one she has, that would let the name of a State be unfixed.

Finish with a Joke, Joe.

An older man walked into a jewelry store one Friday evening with a beautiful young woman at his side.

He told the jeweler he was looking for a special ring for his girlfriend.  The jeweler looked through his stock and brought out a $5,000 ring.  The old man said, "No, I'd like to see something more special."

With that, the jeweler went into his special stock and brought another ring over.  "Here's a stunning ring at only $40,000."  the jeweler said.

The young lady's eyes sparkled and her whole body trembled with excitement.  The old man, seeing this, said, "We'll take it."

The jeweler asked how payment would be made and the old man stated, "By check.  I know you need to make sure my check is  good, so I'll write it now and you can call the bank Monday to verify the funds and I'll pick the ring up on Monday afternoon."  He said

Monday morning, the jeweler phoned the old man.  "There's no money in that account."

"I know," said the old man.  "But, let me tell you about my weekend."

No comments: