Cycle of life.

Today, I want to talk about the crazy news, but first I want to tell you about a great loss to the world of opera... the death of Joan Sutherland. Then, I want to tell you about Elaine's latest accomplishment. Then, the other stuff.


01 A Diva is gone. The cycle of life.

At the age of 83, and still a diva. Joan Sutherland passed away in October. "La Stupenda" was a wonderful "bel canto" singer. Two of her most famous roles were as Lucia and Norma. Dame Sutherland was a very tall (Julia Childs type) and dominated the stage with her presence at first and then when she began to sing.









02. The Miracle of Birth. (The cycle of life.) A few months ago, as I mentioned in a prior blog entry, Elaine was witness to the birth of three deer in our "backyard" here at Carroll Lutheran Village. She wrote about the experience for the "Creative Expressions" book, published annually by the Village. She has now been asked to read her story on a local radio station.



Elaine has a very well modulated speaking voice and has had some acting experience. She was an extra in the movie "Hannibal" and also in the Baltimore version of the Australian TV series, "Homicide, Life on the Street".



We think that only two of the deer survived, because every once in a while, we see two young deer jumping and running while their mama quietly observes. We have been told that a birth of three deer is an unusual occurence. Elaine noticed that the first two baby deer jumped right up and started moving about, but the third was kind of sluggish. Recently, we placed a salt block near where the deer congregate sometimes, hoping to get them into position so we can take a good photo of the family together.





03. Math. U.K. researchers have determined that giving a slight electrical shock over the right ear improves a person's math abilities for months. Some of my friends tell me that a good smack on a child's butt by a father improves scholastic ability as well.



04. Sarah. Golly! Gee whiz! Alaska is a dangerous but energizing place. How do you like her "reality show?"



05. Deficit cutting. Cut Social Security. - No way! Cut Medicare. - No way! Cut the Federal workforce. - Are you crazy? Cut earmarks. - Sure (but not really.. because how else can I produce for my constituents and get re-elected?) Raise gasoline tax. - Ouch!

The cure for it all.. 100% employment. (Or.. steal back the billions of dollars that the Iraqis and Afghanis have been stealing from us for years now.)



06. Jailhouse lawyer. A prisoner is suing the parents of a boy he killed while driving 80 miles an hour. He says that the parents not forcing the boy to wear a helmet has caused him great emotional pain and suffering. He has ten more years to endure this pain.. hopefully, he will be able to endure it for the full ten years and not be given an early release.



07. Hyper-texting. Hyper-texters send at least 120 text messages a day. Would somebody explain to me what these messages could possibly impart? I remember visiting a friend's home many years ago, before texting, but when online messaging was in its infancy. His son had an internet connection on his PC and was engaged in this kind of interplay of messages.

"Hi."
"Hi."
"Waddaya doin today?"
"Nothin. Waddaya doin today?"
"Nothin. Want to come over?"
"Nope.. We got company."
"Can I come over?"
"Yes."
"What can we do?"
"I dont know. What can we do?"

etc... more of the same.



At the time, everybody thought this was cute.. after all, the kids involved were 8 years old.

In the future, the world will be populated with people with giant thumbs and no speaking ability.



08. Hyper-networkers. These are people, not necessarily kids, who spend three or more hours on social network sites like Facebook. I wonder how much of this time is spent playing online games. Some people mix media.. for instance, some people seem to treat Facebook entries like Twitter entries. "I'm going to the grocery store now." "I''m back from the grocery store now."

Come on, give me a break! Luckily, one can block Facebook entries and not have to tell the blockee that they are blocked, so no feelings are hurt.



09. Come on, Dick! The Week magazine cites a tabloid entry that quotes Dick Van Dyke saying that once he fell asleep on his surfboard and when he woke up, porpoises pushed him all the way in to shore. Dick, did you bang your head when you tripped over the hassock?



10. By the beard of the prophet! Another qoted tabloid entry mentions that two guys confessed to forcing a man to eat his own beard.

I've decided not to be Santa Claus this year. I had a job offer back in Spring, and I said that I might try it. But now.. after reading some David Sidaris stories, I don't thing I want to have the experience of little kids climbing on my lap, pulling my beard, vomiting on my knees, .... you get the picture.



11. Carlin. Yesterday, I bought the book Last Words, a memoir by George Carlin, with an assist by Tony Hendra. In reading the introcuction by Tony, I realized that he was the guy who wrote about Father Joe, a great read.


I note that the seven words made famous by George Carlin are being used more and more often by people on Facebook. Even some of my grandchildren are using such words once in a while. I realize that these are only "words" and one should not get upset upon hearing them. However, the young person that uses these words should realize that some older people who might be helpful to them in the future may be placing them in a category of people that they do not care to help, based on their vocabulary.



I loved George Carlin, and I enjoyed his humor. I have reservations about so-called comedians who must rely on George's seven words to be funny. They have not understood George's genius as a humorist. To show that you can be funny even without using the seven words, visit my joke blog.



http://joevaughansjokes.blogspot.com/



12. Devastating insight. Those ubiquitous U.K. researchers have now discovered that some dogs are pessimistic. How on earth did they discover that. Cats? Maybe. But, surely not dogs.
I think their research is in error. All the dogs I know seem to be happy go lucky and glad to see you.



Blogs rhyme with dogs, and my theory is that blogs, like dogs, should all be optimistic.



And I'm glad that you took time out of your busy day to visit my blog.
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Lots happening since I got home from Uncle Allen's funeral. My Toyota Camry was making noises that said it was on its last legs.. so I had to buy a new car. This was probably cheaper than throwing money down the old car money-pit. I bought a 2009 Toyota Rav4. Elaine helped me pick it out.

She wanted a gold colored one ("sandy beach metallic").. but they are only available on the beaches in Hawaii. But we did finally get a west coast color: "Pacific blue metallic." A very nice car, but we will have to get a ladder so Elaine can climb in. The name of the car (RAV) stands for "Recreational Activity Vehicle".. that means "small SUV".

In making the transition from old car to new car, I lost my Social Security identity pass. Under the Patriot Act, this is a major problem. I will have to find someone to sign me into the building and then I will have to spend hours convincing "Security" that I did not sell my pass to some terrorist.

Meanwhile, I learned today that my daughter was charged for her motel room in New Bedford, even though I had already paid for it. I can see this taking hours and hours of phone calls to straighten out.

Elaine received notice that the doctor who gave her one stitch to close a wound charged her insurance $2,ooo! I don't think that the insurance company will pay him, and Elaine may get the bill. More need for Health Care Reform.

I purchased four pairs of pants at Boscov's and lost the claim ticket for tailoring. Tailoring is necessary because pants makers now make their pants' lengths at the average length of American legs. I'm no longer average since I lost several inches in height as I have aged. So, in addition to the price of pants, I have to pay an extra $9 each to have them shortened. I told you that it's tough to get old, guys.

After some interrogation, the clerk agreed to release my altered pants to me. He was telling me that in the "old days" when Boscov's was super busy, I would not have been able to get my pants without receipts. He said that a couple of years ago, the men's clothing section had 5 employees. Now they have 2 1/2. (I didn't ask him if the 1/2 person was a "little person.")

I talked to a lady in Hagerstown, Maryland, who makes "comfort dolls". These are dolls given to children who are in accidents, have to appear in court, or are in the hospital. The dolls calm the kids down and make them feel better. This lady wanted to know if we (the TRIAD group) wanted to learn how to make the dolls.. if not, she volunteered to make them for us. I will discuss this at the next TRIAD meeting.

I purchased another HP black ink cartridge.. they seem to run out after just a few pages.. and will now be able to print my eulogy of Uncle Allen. I will send copies to Allen's family survivors.

I finally got my Federal Income Tax Refund and now it is time to send it back for estimated taxes.

Elaine and I got haircuts today. Kim does my haircuts and also trims my beard. If she gets caught trimming a beard, she can get fined. Apparently, you have to have a special license to do mustaches and beards and the "beard police" can make it difficult for you.

We ate lunch today at the Frisco Pub. I had a local craft brew, spicy crab soup and a delicious Polish dog. Elaine had a soda, the crab soup, and the most delicious clam strips I've had since I used to buy them from vendors at Horseneck Beach, in Massachusetts.

Once when I was in college, I got a political appointment for the summer at Horseneck Beach. Along with a bunch of other guys who were pretty muscular, we had the job of digging out houses buried under the sand dunes during the hurricane of 1938. This was twenty years later, and there were still a lot of buried houses. I was surprized to learn that people in 1938 used the same plastic-like-type tablecloths that we were using. These cloths were the best survivors of the storm.

Anyway, after lunch, after getting Elaine in the car and getting ready to put her wheelchair in, I forgot to lock the chair legs and when I turned my back, out of the corner of my eyes, I saw something black start to speed down the hill. It was the damn wheelchair! Luckily, so far, it had just missed by inches all the other parked cars and was about to travel out into heavy traffic... summoning my hidden superman strength, I ran as fast as I could and rescued the chair in the nick of time. And guess what, even with all that exertion, I did not get a heart attack.

I have been reading that the best form of exercise is sudden exertion. That is the way humans have managed all these many years.. quiet times, with sudden spurts of energy when needed to avoid predators and to catch prey. So, I had my good exercise today. And, I gave a lot of healthful entertainment to the bystanders.

Learning about my new car has been fun. I also managed to wedge my cell phone in the back door of the car. I didn't notice it, but the car kept up a loud whistle until I figured out what was wrong. Elaine also made some noise when she hit the car's "panic button" on the key I gave her. She was inside, and the car was outside.. and when she pushed it inside, all Hell broke loose outside in the highest decibels. It probably hit "high C".

I got a call tonight that my caller ID told me was "Pizza Sam". I answered the phone with "Hey, I can't wait to hear this one." The man on the other end said, "My name is Sam Piazza, and I am calling to ask for your help on a special project." It was a legitimate call and I was embarassed to tell Sam that I misread his last name on the caller ID.

This morning, I made twenty or so calls, most requiring a call back. Since we have "call waiting" whenever someone calls back and we are on the phone already, a loud beeping and static is generated on the line to let us know... then, we are supposed to say to the party we are talking to, "excuse me, I have another caller on the line." I find this rude and discourteous... as though the person you are talking to is not as important as the new caller. I hate this feature, but it is "bundled" and I am told I can't drop it without dropping caller ID.

I think that "caller ID" is the greatest telephone innovation ever.. it has saved me so many times from having to answer telemarketers, scam artists and crashing bores. I highly recommend it.

I will now end this crashing bore of a blog. Just wanted to keep you up to date on some of the ordinary things we are doing these days in beautiful downtown Westminster Maryland.

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