Thursday, January 21, 2010

A Solution has been Found

I couldn't wait to talk about the wonderful sales catalog that appeared in my mail box today. It's from the Duluth Trading Company (www.DuluthTrading.com) and strangely, it is from Wisconsin, not Minnesota. This is the one catalog that every man must have.

I'll save the greatest and most creative product for the end. Meanwhile, here are a few of the "can't live without 'em" items:

01. A flask that holds 8 ounces of your favorite booze and fits in any pocket.

02. "Abe Lincoln's Cane" for old dudes like me.

03. "FDR's Summer Hat" for old dudes like me.

04. "Ogallala Bay Rum" smells like the way old dudes like me remember it from those old fashioned barber shops.. you know, the ones where women were not allowed, and where you could hardly see anything because of the cigar smoke.. and where there was only one style of haircut that you could get.

05. Powder to cure "Monkey butt."

06. Toothpick holders.

07. Lock picks. (If you had one, could you get arrested for holding a burglary tool? They work good, but so does a bent paper clip, if you know what you are doing.)

08. Smugglers' belts.

09. Side clip suspenders. Quote: "Best invention since the tea bag!"

10. "Buck Naked" (TM) underwear. Quote:"... almost as comfortable as your birthday suit (no sweat, no stink, no pinch)"

11. Quote: "Ballroom Jeans with 'crouchability'."

12. Quote: "Screw Faster! Magnetic Bit Holder means faster one-handed driving."

13. Newsboy caps.

And finally the greatest clothing invention ever: the "Longtail T ... Solution to Plumber's Butt!" This shirt has an extra 3" of shirt length, so that housewives will no longer be shocked by a sight nobody should be subjected to.

I had so much fun reading through this catalog that I will have to buy something. Unfortunately, if I wore the Longtail T, I would probably look like I was wearing a dress. Maybe I'll get a smuggler's belt to hold all my money and a newsboy cap like a wore when I sold newspapers during the "Great Depression".

Extree! Extree! Read all about it! .. Visit the website and have some fun.

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