There is no joy in Charm City!

This is a sad day for those Baltimoreans who were expecting to make a long-overdue trip to the Super Bowl this year.  The Ravens lost a tough one to the Patriots.  I'm sure my Massachusetts relatives are dancing in the streets... while my Maryland relatives are crying in their beer.  Such is life.. there's always next year, guys.

Meanwhile, life (and death) go on. 

01. Football Father Figure Fades Away.

Joe Paterno died yesterday.  On the same day that he died, one of the FM stations aired a mini-interview with him.. again about him and Sandusky.  (Did you "out-of'-towners" know that one of Baltimore's TV sportscasters is named Jerry Sandusky.. and of course you can guess that his life has not been the same recently.)

02.  Media Exposure?

A 47 year old Catholic Priest was recently arrested for sitting in a "shop movie theater" (whatever that is), naked from the waist down.  His Bishop, in this instance, did the right thing and removed him from his post in a Baltimore County church. 

... segue to nudist jokes:

a.  At a nude wedding, the best man is not always the best man.

b.  At a nude wedding, where does the best man hide the wedding ring?

(Sorry about that)

03.  The Newt wins big in South Carolina.

Democrats are celebrating!

04.  Romney goes on the attack!

"Mitt" is going after "Newt" at last.  Democrats are worried.

05.  Oprah is crowned Queen!

At a major book event in India, all eyes turned to Oprah Winfrey, our queen.  Crowds cheered her and followed her around, completely ignoring a "real" queen who was also in attendance.   Maybe Oprah will run as Newt's running mate.  However, based on some dumb things that Newt has said in the past, he probably thinks that billionaire Oprah is receiving food stamps.

06.  Don't mess with Maryland women!

(Oprah worked for Channel 13 in Baltimore for several years.) 

A lady in Chestertown, Maryland got mad because a male friend would not admit that he owed her ten dollars... so, she threw drain cleaner in his eyes and blinded him.

07.  Priorities

I just read where the CEO's of our major religious organizations all have the following schedule of allegiance: 

Christian First
American Second

I wonder if any of the upcoming debate questioners would ask a question about that.  How would the candidates answer?  BTW our founding fathers were almost all Deists. 

08.  Jim Hightower sez:

I've written about gadfly Hightower before.  He claims that "Dubya" (as he calls him), when asked what Americans should do at 911 time, said:  "Go out and shop!" 

Jim picks on lots of "airheads" regardless of Political Affiliation.

09.  Immortality

As some people have noticed, first class postage became 45 cents a couple of days ago.  Elaine asked me to get a lot of 44 cents "Forever" stamps before time ran out.  Our Post Office only had commemorative stamps left.   But so what.. they work.  From now on, all first class stamps will be  "Forever".   Isn't that nice to know?   I remember when I could send a first class letter for (hold your breath) THREE CENTS!  And, at the same time, we got 2 (count'em) TWO MAIL DELIVERIES EACH DAY!  (Boy, am I old.)

10.  Father, Are you a Chaplain in the Navy?


That's the question a lady posed to the Priest mentioned above.. when he said "No".. she said: "That's funny because I can see your navel."

(gasp!)

Jiri Hulcr,  PhD, says that the human belly button is filled with lots and lots of strange bacteria. He is connected to the Belly Button Biodiversity Project.

http://www.wildlifeofyourbody.org/

11.  They're still at it!

Those wacko religiosos from the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, have announced plans to picket the funeral of Virginia Tech Police Officer Deriek Croused.  College students have been advised not to talk to them or acknowledge their presence.  The 40 members of that church are all related and must share similar idiocy genes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Westboro_Baptist_Church


12.  Co-bed education?

In the fall of 2012, Towson (Maryland) University will be establishing "gender-neutral" housing options open to students in two dormitories (Halls).  Are frat houses and sorority houses now "gender-neutral", other than on weekends? My, how times have changed. In my day, we had to live in "gender-specialized" caves and write our homework in cuneiform characters on flat rocks.

......................................................................................

Enough!
.....................................................................................