Monday, October 13, 2014

Lawsuit against God; Alzheimers story; Social Security story; Bill Cosby Story; Underwear; Hell; Freeze!

Has the Universe gone mad?


01.  Ernie and God


Fox News:  On Sept 17, 2007, Nebraska State Senator Ernie Chambers filed a lawsuit against God in an effort to stop natural  disasters from befalling the world.  (I guess he lost his suit.)


Ernie Chambers, Atheistic State Senator for a North Omaha, Nebraska district represents the New Alliance Party.


Ernie is called the Defender of the Downtrodden.


He chooses not to have an email address..


He wants to eliminate state property tax exemptions for religious organizations. (Sounds good to me.)


He wants to repeal a state cougars hunting season .. on the 22 cougars living in the Pine Ridge area.  Hunters are now allowed to kill up  to 4 of them. (The season closes after one female is shot or the overall quota is met.)


02.  Kind of Sad Story


Every day, a gentleman living at CLV goes to the Health Section to see his wife and feed her breakfast and lunch.  She suffers from Alzheimers, but still recognizes him as her boyfriend and they spend a while each day kissing and saying loving things to each other. Let's hope this situation continues.


03.  Social Security Story


One day, in my early employment at the Social Security Administration, I was walking in the hall behind a rather hefty lady.  All of a sudden, she saw a friend and turned quickly to say "Hello".. and pinned me to the wall.  (I was skinnier then.)  She was so embarrassed by this, that she went on a strict diet and became a beautiful slim lady.  So, you see how I have been able to change people's lives.


04. Bill Cosby


New Yorker Magazine:  During one of his routines, Cosby reminded his children of the father he used to be:  "I changed your diaper," he said.  "I wiped your behind.  When you threw up on yourself, I took the shirt off and cleaned you and put a fresh one on." 


"Right now, I'm going to poop on myself," he said, "and I expect you to fetch soap, a towel, some deodorant, a clean pair of underwear for me, and take care of me."


"First one tries to dial to put me in a home, you're dead, every last one of you."


05.  Lost and Found


Harper's Index:  So far, in 2014, a total of 569 pieces of underwear has been brought to the New York City transit system's lost and found office. 


06.  Maybe


The Week:  Aldous Huxley:  "Maybe this world is another planet's hell."




07.  Freeze!


New York Times:  A 16 year old Japanese exchange student in Louisiana had been invited to a Halloween party.   Unfortunately, he went to the wrong address and rang the bell.  The homeowner came out with a gun and yelled "Freeze"... the student didn't understand him and didn't "Freeze" and was shot and killed by the homeowner.  Now, the Japanese Government is trying to teach all people who go to the US to understand the word "Freeze."


This reminds me of the time I advertised to buy a piece of barbell equipment and when I went to examine one that was offered, I noticed a machine gun next to the front door.  I asked about it and was told that if the owner didn't recognize who was at his front door, he would gun them down.  Amazing!


OK... enough!













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