Hi! My XM Satellite Radio is on Met Opera Radio Channel 74 and is playing nice music from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner. It amazes me that a confirmed bigot like Wagner was able to produce such marvelously melodic music. Some of the top-graded Nazis loved his music. They wouldn't have liked it if Wagner had Jewish blood... although there were some rumors to that effect.
I read the other day that some German Generals were enjoying watching the horn-wearing fat ladies sing in Walhalla even as Russian troops were penetrating the outskirts of Berlin in one of the last days of World War II.
But.. as melodic as Wagner was.. he could never come close to equaling Herr Mozart.
Well.. that's enough of that .... let's see if I can come up with a dozen (probably unrelated) items of interest from the last couple of months.
01. Maybe the dumbest guy in jail.
If I remember correctly, a State Policeman stopped a car for a traffic violation. When the cop asked the driver to show him some identification, the guy pulled a baggie out of his pocket, in which there was a white powder, and on which was written in ink in big letters: DRUGS!
02. I get no satisfaction!
According to The Week magazine, a woman sued the manufacturer of Kushyfoot Shaping Tights because they didn't give her the "super-satisfied" feeling that was promised in their advertisements.
03. Behold! The Heavenly Hoax!
All of those folks who were feeling comfortable about their demise will now have to rethink it all, because Alan Malarkey has finally admitted that he made up the whole afterlife story outlined in: The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven. It was all just a bunch of malarkey!
04. Why do you need to know my zip code?
Watchit.. if you give your zip code to the clerk in a store when it is not necessary, the store may be able to sell it .. and I don't know how.. they may be able to get you on a junk mailing list.. (btw I love junk mail.. but that is a story for another time).. However, you may need to provide a zip code when you use a credit card at an untended gasoline pump.. its an added security measure.
05. Rest In Peace, Woody.
Today, I attended the funeral of my friend, Ralph Wood, alias Woody. Woody passed away after suffering illness for six months. Woody worked at the Social Security Administration for many years and was a member of my Carroll County Chapter of the Social Security Alumni Association. He was also a fellow member of the Carroll County Chapter of the National Active and Retired Federal Employees.
Woody's wife, Val, had chosen a coffin with the same color and look of the Corvette that he cherished for many years. It also had the number "3" emblazoned on its lid.. that number having importance to car guys like Woody.
One of his friends gave a eulogy and mentioned how when his daughter was born and was to be baptized at home, the preacher forgot to bring holy water.. so, Woody reached into his pants pocket and brought out a small bottle of Kentucky moonshine, which was used appropriately, in place of the holy water.
06. Harper's Index Items
These are from Harper's Magazine for May 2011 (Yes, I'm a little behind in some of my reading.)
(Drones) A minimum of 600 people were killed by CIA drone attacks in Pakistan in 2010. (Think about that!)
(Satellites) There are at least 22,000 man-made objects orbiting earth. (Including Space Station waste?)
(Pet Phone) On my 77th birthday, a U.S. patent was issued for a phone with which pets can call their owners.
(Jailbird) The youngest person facing life without parole in the U.S. in 2011 was 13. (And I'll bet that was in Texas.)
07. The Week Items
OK, well then here are some items from The Week magazine for December 2011. (Same excuse)
(Scholar) Michele Bachman said that if she became President, she would shut down the embassy in Iran. Unfortunately, the U.S. hasn't had an embassy in Tehran since the 1980 hostage crisis.
(Gun Control) A duck hunter from Utah disembarked to set some duck decoys. He left his loaded shotgun in the boat and his excited dog somehow discharged the gun, wounding him in his butt with 27 pellets of birdshot. (Serves his ass right!)
(Gun out of Control) On November 25, 2011, Americans bought at least 129,166 firearms... a record.
08. More items from The Week.. but from 2014
(Terrorist Tot) Atlanta school officials made a kindergartner sign a "safety contract" promising to not hurt herself or other kids.. after she pointed a crayon at a classmate and said "pew, pew". (The so-called school officials should be made to sign a "stop being stupid contract."
(LOL) A comedy club in Barcelona added 38 cents to customers' bills for every time they laughed. (I read that Jay Leno is doing stand-up again... the last monologue I watched him do would have not cost me one cent... he sure needed a new writer.)
(Mugwump) A woman in Ohio went into a police station to complain about her unflattering mug shot on their website. It had been posted because they were looking for her to charge her with robbery. Guess what?
(Birthday Burger) Ruby Tuesday emailed me a coupon for a free burger for my birthday. So... I want a Glamburger like they sell in London.. it is made with New Zealand venison and Kobe beef, topped with Iranian saffron, white truffle from Italy, and Beluga caviar from Russia. It's topped with a 24 karat gold leaf and sells for $1,800.
OK.. that's enough, I'm sure you will agree.
..............................................................................................................
No comments:
Post a Comment