Saturday, February 14, 2015

Valentines Day; Sleep Hours and Tips; Cursing kids; Marriage Joke; Average Height; Campaign Promises from Governor Hogan; Professor Powers Pointers

Happy Valentine's Day! Elaine and I exchanged cards and chocolates, and later will eat a special supper that we had delivered yesterday.  Maryland Crabcakes... yum!


"Hail, Bishop Valentine, whose day this is,
All the air is thy Diocese."


John Donne (1571-1631)


Let me list a bit more trivia on this auspicious occasion:


01.  Do you sleep well? (National Sleep Foundation)


Sleep hours recommended:


0-2 months:                10 1/2 to 18  1/2 hours
2-12 months:              14-15 hours
12-18 months:            13-15 hours
18 months to 3 years: 12-14 hours
3-5 years:                    11-13 hours
5-12 years:                    9-11 hours
12-18 years:                  8 1/2 to 9 1/2 hours
18+ years:                     7-9 hours


They also recommend trying the following tips:


o Maintain a regular bed and wake time routine.. even on weekends.
o Avoid stressful activities near bedtime, like working on the bills.
o Make the bedroom dark, quiet, comfortable and cool.
o Use blackout curtains if necessary.
o Use eyeshades or earplugs if necessary.
o Use white noise, ocean sounds, fan sounds if necessary.
o Don't eat two or three hours before bedtime.
o Try not to consume fluids close to bedtime.
o Exercise often.
o Avoid caffeine close to bedtime. (Coffee, tea, soft drinks, and chocolate.)
o Throw away your cigarettes, including the e ones.
o Avoid alcohol close to bedtime.

02.  Children cursing. (Ann Landers)


A lady says that her 16 year old has started using curse words in the home.  What can she do about that?


Ann says: The kid is trying to let you know he is grown up now.  Once you let him know that people who have truly grown up do not usually curse, tell him that he will not be allowed to leave the house again, except for school, church and essential appointments until he has managed to go two weeks without uttering a curse word within your earshot.   The main thing is to make him realize that you will not tolerate cursing while he lives in your home.


03.  Classic Joke


A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a psychiatrist.  The Doctor tells him that he has to develop self-esteem and gives him a book on assertive training.


He reads it on the way home.  When he walks through the front door, and his wife comes to greet him, he tells her, "From now on I'm the man of this home and my word is law.   When I come home from work I want my dinner on the table.  Now.. go upstairs and lay me some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the boys tonight.  Then draw my bath.  When I get out of the tub, guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"


She replies: "The Undertaker!"


04.  I told you we were getting shorter!  (Associated Press)


The United States had the tallest people in the world for years, but now it's in the middle of the pack. However, people who live in American cities are shorter that those who live in our rural areas.  (Could that be somehow related to manure?)


Average Height by Country:


Filipinos:      5'4"
Chinese:       5'5"
Brazilians:    5'7"
Americans:   5'10"
Germans:      5'11"
Norwegians: 5'11"
Dutch:           6'


Well, I used to be slightly taller than an average Brazilian.. but now.. with so much age, I'm about even with an average Filipino.  Maybe it's time to try Elevator shoes again.  Years ago, when I was taller, I tried a pair.. but nobody believed I was suddenly almost 6 feet tall, so I gave it up.


Yesterday, at our NARFE meeting, someone  brought a little baby and I was told "Hey, at last there is somebody shorter than you at our meeting."


Also, when I was in Air Force Basic Training, the Drill Instructor stared me right in the eyes and asked:  "Do you know why you are so short?"  I barked: "No, Sir!"  He replied:  "Well, it's because a rebel beat the *#$@ out of you!"  "Yes, Sir!" I answered, and he went away.  The funny thing was, he was even a few inches shorter than I was. 


05.  Campaign Promises?


Newly elected Maryland Governor Larry Hogan ran on a cost-cutting agenda, but of course, everybody felt that the cost cuts would not affect themselves. However, check this out:


o State employees, who after years of pay freezes, got a 2% cost of living adjustment in January, will lose the increase in July.
o State employees will not receive COLA or  Merit Raises next year.
o K-12 Education will be cut by 50% based on a geographic formula.
o State Agencies will be cut 2% across the board.


06.  Professor Powers' Pointers


Here are a few more vital things to think about ..  from my Brother Joe in Ohio:


o  Never argue politics while getting a haircut.  Remember, the barber is waving sharp scissors about your head.
o  If you get notification from Publishers Clearing House that you are a "finalist" in their sweepstakes, do NOT give up your day job.
o  How do you know a political candidate is lying?  His lips are moving.
o  When choosing a proctologist, for God's sake, pick one with skinny fingers!
..................................................


That's enough for now.   Bye!



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