Yes, it's a wonderful world

While lots of folks are dividing their time wondering whether Fox News will survive the Murdoch "scandal" and getting angry over the Casey Anthony jury verdict,  amazing things are going on, some of which I want to mention here.

01.  Dawn over Vesta.

NASA's Dawn spacecraft has entered orbit around the massive asteroid Vesta!  Think about that for a while.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-14160135

02.  A Light has gone out!

Our good friend, Jack Kolb passed away recently, and a memorial service was held for him at Carroll Lutheran Village in Westminster, Maryland.  I was priviledged to say a few words and read a touching letter from one of his daughters.

Jack had many talents.. he got his pilot's license when he turned 16;  he taught roller skating;  he had a photographic business;  he obtained two masters degrees;  he served in the Department of Defence for many years, in liaison with the U.S. Army and NSA;  he visited Greenland and the North Pole on twenty or so occasions;  he was listed in several Who's Who's of noted Americans;  he was an aide to Vice President Dan Quail; he was in contact with all of the American Nobel Laureates;  he was a frequent contributor to Reader's Digest;  he was a physics professor at American University;  etc, etc.

Jack was also a sponsor of a young lady who wants to be a pediatric nurse, as Jack's late wife, Rita, was.  Many of the great musicians and poets had "patrons" a few years ago.  Jack enjoyed being such a patron and ensuring that a gifted person would be able to study without financial care.

Jack was in his eighties and I thought that he would be around for at least another fifteen years.  I will miss his brilliant mind.  I  have been involved with Mensa and Intertel for over forty years, and have known some very smart folks.. however, none of them could match the breadth and depth of Jack's knowledge, in my opinion.

Rest In Peace, My Friend!

03.  Ah Choo!

Somebody sent me some "facts" that are supposed to be true..

One was:  when a person sneezes, their heart stops and brain functions cease.

If this is true.. there must be a lot of sneezing going on in Congress these days!

04.  Innie?  Outie? 

Another "fact" was:  Alfred Hitchcock did not have a belly button.

How could that be.. how did Lord Alfred get born.. I knew he was weird, but I didn't know it had something to do with parthenogenesis.  Is he a reincarnation of Adam? (Wait a minute... Michaelangelo showed Adam with a belly button... huh?)

www.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Creation_of_Adam


I was taught in Sunday School that if one looked at a group of naked women, you would be able to tell which one was Eve by noting that she would be the only one without a belly button. (I always wondered why anyone would be interested in belly buttons in the company of naked women.)

Hey, Brother Joe.. help me out on this.

05.  Dear Anonymous:

This blog gets a lot of comments from someone named Anonymous.   Sometimes the comment is in Chinese or Japanese .. sometimes in Korean .. sometimes in French or German .. but most often in English.  I have tried to translate the Asian comments, but the results were usually unintelligible.. reading as though they were like "Headlines" on the Jay Leno show.  I can read the French, German and English ones, which are often advertisements, requests for help with computer issues, or requests for information on medical problems such as body odor, or similar.  

However, sometimes the comments relate to the blog entry and are very interesting, and I do try to respond with a related comment.  I would, however, ask that if you want an appropriate response, that you include your email address in your comment.

06.  Important Health Fact from an Almanac:

With proper care, the human body will last a lifetime.

07.  Now they tell me!

The Week magazine recently reported that  a Purdue University study shows that artificial sweeteners could be making you fat. 

The researchers found that "rats fed a steady diet of sugar substitutes were hungrier and gained more weight than rats that ate surgary food...  It appears that artificial sweeteners confuse the body, which is programmed to associate swet tastes with calories consumed, and when we repeatedly eat something sweet that provides little or no calories, we break that connection, and our confused bodies keep seeking more food."

"... the rats that frequently ate sugar substitutes, also didn't have the metabolic increase that usually follows eating a meal, so they burned fewer calories..." according to researcher Susan Swithers.

08.  Zukes

Our Earthbox gardens are overtaking our deck this Summer.  So far, we have enjoyed several red tomatoes, a number of yellow squashes, some green beans,  three cucumbers, and four giant zucchinis.
The other day, I found my Aunt Mary's Zucchini Bread recipe and I can't wait to make and taste some. However, before I can make it, I have to buy some things that we don't keep in our house:

sugar (see #07 above)
baking soda
baking powder

Whenever I would visit my Aunt Mary, she would always have zucchini bread for me to eat, Summer or Winter.. she started keeping some in her freezer, as soon as refridgerators began to have freezers connected to them. 

09.  The Iceman Cometh

What on earth  did we do before we had freezers?  I remember, as a kid, stealing ice shavings from the iceman as he went into houses to deliver giant blocks of ice for the icebox.  I remember my grandmother paying the iceman 35 cents for enough ice to fill our icebox, a big wooden cabinet, whose top opened up to reveal a metal container for the ice.

Once, on a tour of Thomas Jefferson's Virginia home, the tour guide showed us Mr. Jefferson's ice house.   In the Winter, his slaves would go out on the frozen ponds and cut out huge blocks of ice, which they would bring back to his estate and place in the ice house, which was dug out of the ground.  Then, they would cover the ice with straw and hay and hope that this would keep the ice more or less frozen for a long time.. perhaps even until the Summer months.

The tour guide reminded us of what a great equalizer ice was.  Everybody had ice..  the rich had it in the Summer, the poor had it in the Winter.

10.  Christmas in July

In New Windsor, Maryland..  about 25 miles northwest of Baltimore, and next to our Carroll Lutheran Village home in Westminster, Maryland.. is  an organization called SERRV.  This organization acts as a middleman for native people around the world who want to sell items that they produce.  The organization is church-affiliated and therefore is a non-profit organization. 

SERRV will be having a Christmas in July sale until July 23, 2011.  This year they will be featuring Christmas ornaments, tree skirts, nativity  scenes, Divine dark chocolate, baskets, specialty  coffee, and much more.  All items are at 60% of their usual price.

If you are looking for something to do, and you want to see some interesting and different merchandise, drop by.  And, if you purchase anything, you will be helping ordinary native craftsmen from around the world.

11.  Baby, Baby!

The Week magazine reports that a lady in Texas (of course.. everything in Texas is gigantic).. gave birth to a 2 foot long, 16 pound baby!  Ow! .. maybe not quite OW!.. because it was delivered by Caesarean Section.  ("Hey, doc, knock me out and wake me up when the hairdresser shows up.")

My late wife's French Canadian relatives talked about the 14 pound babies that were common back in Canada years ago.  Pregnant women were encouraged to eat 4 or more hefty meals each day during their nine months.  Of course, many women died in childbirth back in those days.  Pre-natal care? What was that?

12.  Handwriting!?

Indiana third-graders may no longer be taught cursive, because it is thought that they would never use it.. being so computer literate and such.. with texting much more useful...  Come on.. what kind of nonsense is this?  Are we supposed to allow a generation of people to grow up not knowing how to read a letter written by their grandmother?  (I would not be able to enjoy my Aunt Mary's zucchini recipe if I was not able to decipher her handwriting.)

When I was stationed in Germany, I taught myself basic German, including Gothic text and handwriting.. which at some point in time was not being taught to German school children.  Thus, I ended up in the strange situation where I, as an American,  could read letters written in the "old" handwriting, while some of my German-born and raised  acquaintances could not.   Will that be the case for cursive in the US? 

Should schools stop teaching math because we now rely mainly on calculators and computers?

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"Rapture and Weiner and Such, Oh My!"

Well, we are still here... or maybe this is the "END TIME"...  just look at all the tornados and earthquakes  and tsumanis and heat waves.. and Congressmen and Candidates making fools of themselves... but people in the public eye have always done stupid things.. by anybody's standards.

This morning, I woke up in a mild depression when I encountered the following things:

o All of our lights and fans were on for some mysterious reason.
o Our cat had thrown up in 7 places on our main rug and once on the kitchen floor.
o The radio reported that the stock market has continued it's downward trend and I'll probably be poor  again soon, if not already.
o The US. credit rating is heading to "junk" and Congress is playing political games about it.

Besides that, I'm very worried about the health of two close relatives and a dear friend who is in the hospital.

However.. there are developments that are making me lose my depressive state:

o  It's kind of interesting to follow Congressman Weiner and his strange adventures.
o  Newt Gingrich's Presidential campaign staff has quit on him.
o  Sarah Palin is learning facts about the early days of our Nation.

And.. Elaine and I are anxiously awaiting a new addition to her family.   That will be a joyous occasion.

Here  are other items interesting me this morning:

01.  Losing Weight

I have now lost 24 pounds since last December.  My plan is to lose 1/2 pound each week and reach my target weight exactly one year from today (June 2012).  Hey.. I took a long time to put it on; so, if I take a long time taking it off.. maybe I'll keep it off.

I believe that the only diet that works is to reduce calories and increase exercise.  I was pointed to a marvelous free online program called  http://www.loseit.com/   ..  by signing up for that program, one sets a target weight goal, and the program calculates a daily caloric limit to try for.  Each evening, one can enter all of the food that one has eaten during the day as well as any exercise taken.  The program provides the calorie counts for foods eaten and exercise taken.  At first, it may be amazing to see the amount of calories that one is unwittingly putting into one's body.  For most people, facing up to calorie reality is a great motivating force.

The program allows for "friends" to swap motivational information.  My son is now using the program, as well as a granddaughter and some acquaintances.   Try it.. you may be surprised at how well it works.

02.  Green Thumb?

Last week I finally was able to fill my 4 Earthboxes with soil, dolomite, fertilizer, water and vegetable plants.  I have planted squash, tomatoes, bush beans and cucumbers.  The plants have doubled in size in one week.  Hopefully, the stink bugs will not find their way to my deck.

I also planted specialty tomatoes given me by my daughter, Diane, a master gardener if there ever was one.  Each of these is in a pot by itself and we already have picked 4 red cherry tomatoes to eat.  Much more tasty than the cardboard Super Market ones.  There are 5 large green ones ready to turn red in this hot weather.   I still have 4 hanging baskets of flowers to put up. 

Last year, we grew some specialty lettuce and thought that they had died down with the frost.  But this year it is back again and as fast as we pick it, more grows.  I thought it was a cool weather plant.. but it seems to like the 100 degree days we are having.

03.  Global warming?

It's not even Summer yet and the temperature has been hitting in the high 90's for quite a few days.  Yesterday, it was 100 in some of the places that I visited.  Thank goodness for air conditioning.  We keep the house at 76 degrees and thereby are able to function almost normally.   I wonder if this weather is the cause of our cat's throwing up.  Or maybe she is just bulemic and trying to keep her kittenish figure?

HOLD IT!  FAMILY NEWS!

Elaine's daughter just gave birth to a baby boy.  So, I have to sign off right now and switch to family activity. 
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Happy New Year! 2011! Gasp!

I'm quite pleased with myself. Elaine and I pigged out on pizza and shrimp while we watched the ball drop at Times Square. In spite of that, I only went 173 calories over my daily allotment.

I'm trying to lose 30 pounds and I am using an online program to monitor what I eat and how much exercise I use. So far, I have found it very easy to use and it has a lot of features that I like. If you are interested, take a look at:

http://www.loseit.com/

Based on my diet program, I will reach my goal on July 11, 2011. Hopefully, I am motivated enough to avoid my version of the famous Allen Curve, which I call the Alden Curve, named after a famous Pilgrim relative of mine.

(This Alden Curve works well to show how Gyms make their money ... because most people never follow through with their gym visits.. it also works especially well with diet plans. For instance, when you start, a daily motivation graph line leans upward from zero for about a month. At the end of the month, when it dawns on you that you don't want to diet quite as much, your daily motivation graph line starts to work its way back down to the zero point. When you finally quit your diet, a median line drawn across the graph creates an A. This is the Alden Curve.)

Now, to talk about other stuff.

01. Arachnid Statistic? Somebody has reported that 20% of people engaging in sexual activity, maintain an open contact with the Web at the same time. (How did they get that statistic?)

02. Car Talk: If you visit the Car Talk website, you can see all of the famous staff names that you have heard mentioned over the lifetime of the radio show. Here are a dozen of those names that I thought were interesting:

Ulanda U. Lucky - Air Traffic Controller

Turner Luce - Animal Control Officer

Dot Matrix - Director of Computer Services

Collette O'Day - Clock Watcher

Phyllis Steen - Art Critic

Dot Snice - Art Critic II

Hugh Jass - Clothing Designer

Ed Amame - Bean Counter

Bud Uronner - Appeals Specialist

Hugo First - Bunji Jumper Instructor

Orson Buggy - Assistant Transportation Coordinator

Eureka Garlic - Breathalyzer Administrator

See them all at http://www.cartalk.com/

03. Litigation. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me reports that the mayor of Batman, Turkey is suing the makers of the Batman movie because they have not paid royalties for using the town name.

04. Fishy: Connecticut now has a State fish: the shad. (I wonder what ever happened to an SSA worker named Fred Shad?) Is Massachusetts State fish the scrod? (Check out the words to that famous song: Crabs for Christmas.. my favorite song of the season.)

05. Pay Scale: I may have mentioned this before. Mayor Bloomberg of New York City gets a yearly salary of just $1. However, he only gets 93 cents because 7 cents gets deducted for Social Security.

06. Conspiracy Theory: Carroll County Times (Maryland) columnist Tom Zirpoli says that one of the candidates for Governor of Colorado wants to end the city-wide bicycle rental program in Denver because it is a first step in bringing the US under UN control.

07. Necessity: While the Carnival Cruise Line's Splendor was stranded off of Mexico. The U. S. Navy airlifted a supply of Spam so that the strandees could have some protein.

For those of you young folks who have only heard of one kind of spam, check out this site:

http://www.spam.com/

08. Ailurophiles vs. caninophiles: Fellow Mensan, Richard Lederer, writes:

"Cats are smarter than dogs. (This must be true. Tests conducted by the University of Michigan concluded that while a dog's memory lasts no more than five minutes, a cat's can last as long as sixteen hours, exceeding even that of monkeys and orangutans. And you never see eight cats pulling a sled.)"

"Dogs drool; cats rule."

"If you command your dog to 'Come here', he runs right over with a 'Yes, what can I do for you?' The cat's response is, 'Put it in writing, and I'll get back to you later.' This is why dogs have masters, and cats have staff."

09. True adventure: A new biography by Geoffrey Wolff called: The Hard Way Around outlines the life of Joshua Slocum. Joshua was a young ship's captain who had many adventures, such as violent storms and mutinies even before he left Fairhaven, Massachusetts in 1898, and sailed alone around the world for three years. (Fairhaven is across the Acushnet River from New Bedford (my hometown) and there is a little park with a monument to his voyage next to the river and right near a wonderful Bed and Breakfast, which commands a marvelous view of the New Bedford harbor right out of the bedroom windows.)

10. Reward for speeding: A Massachusetts woman was arrested for throwing a bag of dog poop at a speeding car. It went through his open window and hit him in the face. She has been charged with assault.

I may have mentioned this before, but when I was about ten years old, a nasty guy working at cleaning up a yard, flipped dog poop at me as I rode by on my bicycle. This gave him a marvelous laugh. (I wonder if he was still laughing as he surveyed the flat tires on his truck.)

11. Hard to believe, but true: Google has logged almost 1,000 miles on their self-driving Toyota Priuses in California. Robot cars don't drive drunk, distracted or sleepy. (What happens when a State Trooper tries to pull them over for an equipment violation?)

12. Religious knowledge: According to Tom Harbold in the Carroll County (Maryland) Times.. The Pew Forum on religion and public life conducted a quiz of 32 questions given to a random sampling of over 3,000 people. The persons getting the highest number of questions right were Atheists, Agnostics, Jews and Mormons.

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Have a great time in 2011!

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Some new stuff.. at least to me.

I learned a lot of fantastic information this week. Some of which I will outline here.

01. What's in a name? I apologize to this beautiful person for picking on her name, but somehow it makes me giggle, I don't know why, but I believe that there once was a stripper on the Baltimore infamous "Block" with the same name.

The AARP Sex and Relationship Expert is named Pepper Schwartz.


http://uwnews.org/uweek/article.aspx?id=52956


02. It had to happen: A heavy-set woman was charged extra in one of those fingernail salons for being too fat and endangering their chairs that are tested for only 200 pounds.


Many years ago, fellow Mensan, Marvin Grosswirth established an organization called Fat Pride. based on a book he wrote with the same name. Other such organizations were established over the years, but I think his was the first. Marvin wrote lots of interesting books and unfortunately, died of cancer at the age of 53. A man of great intellect, as well as great girth... which rhymes with his last name.. which means a "great innkeeper".. at least in the German dialect I know.

Anyway, Marvin felt that one should not be ashamed of being overeweight. Why on earth would one want to be a skinny-bones? (However, personally, I would like to be a little bit thinner.)

(Marvin also was in favor of beards.. at least on men. He felt that if one wore a beard, one should wear a real man's beard, not one of those "sissy beards" worn by some rock stars.)

http://openlibrary.org/authors/OL1346088A/Marvin_Grosswirth



03. Caution! Kevin Dayhoff, former mayor of Westminster, Maryland, in one of his interesting newspaper articles, mentions that in the 1960's, some traffic lights did not flash yellow, only red and green. I was around then, but I don't remember such lights in the places I lived. This probably confused children who thought that the traffic lights were Christmas decorations.


Among lots of other things, Kevin Dayhoff writes a journal called the New Bedford Herald. (It's not about New Bedford, Massachusetts, where I was born and brought up.)


http://kbetrue.livejournal.com/



04. Deep fat! Vendors at the upcoming Maryland State Fair will be selling lots of deep fat fried items, including Oreo cookies, Snicker Bars, Twinkies, Buckeyes (peanut butter and chocolate mixed), and even ice cream bars... but they will have to go a lot further in their plans to clog up Marylanders' arteries to top the Canadians. At an exhibition in Toronto, vendors are selling deep fat fried butter!



http://www.deepfatfryerspro.com/

05. It's a digital world all right. A street musician now has a card reader by his side. If you like his guitar music, you can give him a tip (donation) by swiping your credit card and keying in the amount you want to give him. (I wonder if he takes American Express.)

06. Mis-attribution. One of the few poems I ever learned was the one about a pelican:

A curious bird is the pelican,

His beak holds more than his belly can.

He can store in his beak,

Enough food for a week,

And I don't know how the devil he does it.

I have always attributed it to Ogden Nash.. it's the kind of stuff he wrote.

Well, I learned this week that I was wrong. The poem was written by newspaper humorist, Dixon Lanier Merritt, and goes like this:

A wonderful bird is the pelican,

His bill can hold more than his bellican.

He can hold in his beak,

Food enough for a week,

But I'm damned if I see how the hellican.

(Which one do you like?)

http://search.intelius.com/dixon-lanier-merritt

07. Ugh! A nutritionist who was interviewed on NPR said that shrimp imported from Thailand is "grown in dirty ponds." Think about that the next time you order scampi at your favorite restaurant.

08. Banana Bread: I love to bake banana bread! Sometimes I make it plain.. just bananas.. sometimes I add blueberries; sometimes I add walnuts; sometimes I add chocolate chips; sometimes I add butterscotch chips; sometimes I mix them all together.

A well-known local Carroll County humorist, with another interesting name, Cathy Drinkwater Better, writes a funny column in the Carroll Eagle. This week, she mentioned what goes on in her house when her husband finds real old bananas in the fridge. Of course, as anyone knows, you have to have real old bananas to make good banana bread. I'm probably one of the few men in the world who knows that the secret to delicious banana bread is old, black, mushy, gnat-infested bananas.

Elaine and I always laugh long and hard when we read her Sunday articles. She is a gifted story teller, and as I also learned this week, a well-known author, with a lot of books to her credit.

http://www.cathydrinkwaterbetter.com/

09. New word. The big-name dictionaries are adding a new word in their latest editions: bromance .. friendship between two men. I have a brother Joe, that I sometimes call BRO and a friend from early childhood named Bob, and we both often refer to each other as BRO. But of course, there is no "romance" there. There are lots of BRO- words, such as bromide, brocade, Bromo Seltzer, .... Broken = what Barbie's brother now calls Ken.. NBC's Tom Brokaw... etc etc

10. A Dog's Best Friend: I've mentioned this before, but some one of you may still never have heard of this great invention. It was dreamed up by the brother of Tony Shalhoub (you know... Mr. Monk!)

Yes, I'm talking a bout the Shapoopy.. better than a pooper-scooper.. it catches your dog's poop before it even hits the ground! Wow!

http://theshapoopie.com/

Have you heard the jingle?

www.televisiontunes.com/Family_Guy_-_Shapoopy.html

11. What would Johnie Cash do? I learned today that those automatic faucets that are now ubiquitous, will not work if you are wearing black. Imagine that.

12. An amazing author! Over the years, Tom Robbins has written a lot of thoughtful (weird) books. His latest is a children's book called B is for Beer.

Tom says that he ate so much mayonaise as a kid that his parents threatened to send him to the Mayo Clinic. ! He is the inventor of the Gin-Greasy.. which is a combination of gin and mayonaise. I don't think I'm going to try it.

Quote from Tom: "I believe in nothing, everything is sacred. I believe in everything, nothing is sacred." Whatever that means... I think I will put it into my email messages.

http://www.randomhouse.com/author/results.pperl?authorid=25708

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Madamina, il catalogo e questo...

A couple of very interesting catalogs appeared in the mail the other day, and I thought that I might mention a few of the things that you might want to order. If you are tempted, let me know and I'll tell you the names of these great catalogs.





Stuff for the home.


01. Hair cutting umbrella: This is kind of a cape/bucket that fits around your neck and catches all of the hair, eyebrows, and earlobes that get lopped off as your spouse gives you a haircut. Clever idea.





02. Laundry sign: A magnetic cover for the front of your washing machine that lets people know that they are in the "laundry." (Here's your sign!)





03. Egg cracker: A machine for those persons unable to crack their eggs on the side of a bowl. The two sides of each cracked egg come out evenly and aesthetically correct.





04. Bed bug repeller: Plug it in, turn it to "high" and watch those little rascals scoot to escape the ultrahigh inaudible sound waves. (Especially recommended for people living in New York City.)





05. Lock for your safe: Keeps people from stealing the important papers in your 10 pound safe, unless the crook decides to pick it up, carry it off and open it later with a crowbar.





Tasteful items:





01. Toilet seat clock: Chimes every hour with a flushing sound.





02. Toilet mug: Have your dark brown morning brew in a realistically rendered coffee mug shaped like your bathroom toilet.





03. Booty Bop: I haven't a clue about this product.. the catalog doesn't explain it. It probably is related to the old poem: "what God has forgotten, we stuff up with cotton."





04. Burping bank: Stick a coin in the piggy bank's slot and it burps and snorts just like the depositor.





05. Butt bank: Stick a coin in the plumber's butt crack and hear a realistic fart. (Voted "Baltimore's Best" by Miss Allen's 6th grade class.)





Stuff for your pet.





01. Doggie litter turf: This little bit of greenery is designed to allow your pooch to do his business indoors in bad weather.





02. Diet bowl: Prongs stick up from the bowl bottom, so your dog or cat will learn to eat slower and more carefully. (Might work also for human dieters.)





For your yard.





01. Frogs have fun. Forget about the Mexican on a burro or the "Baltimore Hon" flamingo, this is a set of two waving green frogs on a sliding board. (Years ago, our friend, Miss Marie, made me a ceramic "Frog in Pink Hot Pants. My daughter now has this heirloom next to her backyard fish pond,)





02. HOOT! Hang this realistic owl from a tree trunk and every time something comes near, a sensor triggers a very loud "Hoot! Hoot!" to scare the trespasser away. (I wonder what this sounds like at 3 am when some bats decide to investigate?)





Remember these catalogs take credit cards.





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Weekly Dozen @ March 12, 2010

Old and new stuff.

01. 2010: I-PHONE Love: A study has found that many people are addicted to their I-PHONES. In fact, they found that many people even sleep with them under their pillows. (Well, you don't want to miss an important call.)

02. 1950: Cremation: A man in Wellington, New Zealand, specified in his will that his body be cremated and the ashes put to work in an hour glass. (Good idea.. he will be serving a purpose even though he is not breathing anymore.)

03. 2010: 3-D: A newspaper in Belgium has put out a newspaper edition in 3D. They even supply the glasses. (The news just jumps out at you.)

04. 1950: Gun Control: Police in Chicago melt down the weapons seized from gangsters and makes them into medals to give to brave crime-fighters. (It's probably more lucrative these days to sell them back to the crooks or export them to formerly peaceful countries.)

05. 2010: Netflix spin-off? A new company has been formed to mail fresh underwear to guys each month. (Do you have to send them back after you have used them for one week? In the 1950's, guys did not wear underwear.)

06. 1950: Teeth: I've seen George Washington's wooden (ivory actually) teeth and a guy in 1950 made a set of false teeth for himself out of pieces of scrap aluminum. (During the 1950's I worked for a time in an aluminum chair factory.. I wasn't very good at the job and lots of my chairs got dumped into a molten aluminum bath to be reformed. Perhaps they could have used my rejects to make sturdy false teeth.)

07. 2010: Drunks Crossing: In some part or Rumania, signs have been put up to warn drivers about drunks who may be staggering across the street. (Deer Crossing signs in the US show a leaping buck.. what is the symbol for the Rumanian drunk?)

08: 1950: Divorce: A man in Milwaukee who lost his wife in a divorce suit, asked the judge to at least award the family dog to him. (Sounds reasonable to me. After all, "a man's best friend is his dog.. but a 5 cent cigar is a smoke.." or something like that.. probably some wisdom from H.L. Mencken that I can't figure out.)

Incidentally, a chiropractor met with our NARFE group yesterday. I mentioned H.L. Mencken's 1927 article in the Baltimore Sun about chiropractic. It didn't seem to bother him at all.. he did say that if you look up "curmudgeon" in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Mencken.

09: 2010: Diet: The French have developed the "air diet".. yes, it's like "air guitar" etc.. Like Marcel Marceau, you pretend you are eating. You make the motions with the empty glasses and plates but no food enters your gullet. This is guaranteed to help you lose weight.

A diet poem I like is:

My soul is dark with stormy riot,
Directly traceable to diet.

Dieting is not easy and no fun. Here are some tips that I have found helpful:

a. Count every calorie that you consume.
b. Put exercise time on your schedule every day.
c. Drink green tea or water before meals.
d. Chew every bite 20 times (or more).

Personally, I don't always observe these tips.. although every calorie I have had since New Year's Day has been recorded. Have I lost weight? I won't know until I go for my next check-up in April.

10. 1950: RIP?: A man in Petersburg, Virginia purchased 2,180 tombstones discarded from a cemetery and built a house with them. (Question: Why were they discarded? Is that the fate of all tombstones? At the Cushing Cemetery in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts, there are headstones and footstones going back to 1810, if not earlier. One would expect these tombstones to be cared for until the sun burns the earth all up, or until cloning gets so good that we will all be recreated, and people live forever so that such stones are no longer of any use.)

11. 2010: Belly dancers: A group of 11 belly dancing teachers and students will be performing for the local AARP Chapter next month. They call themselves Anerneic Magic. I am unable to find the word in any of my dictionaries. (Kind of similar:

aneroid: containing no liquid (maybe they don't drink before performing)
anerly: merely .. Scotch dialect.
an: no with ern/erne: sea eagle (crossword puzzle word) .. (Maybe "no sea eagles" ? After all, these are belly dancers, not birds)

I am alerting the emergency people to stand by for a 911 call if the dancers turn up the heat too much for us old timey dudes. I'll let you know what happened, if I survive. You may know the story of my belly dancer who caused the Social Security Administration to outlaw such folks from entering the premises.. I don't think that will happen at the Elks Lodge in Westminster.

12. 2010: Funny phrases: Elaine mentioned a phrase yesterday in connection with a guy who tried to kill his wife with a hammer. She said: "His ass is grass." and was surprised to learn that I had never heard the phrase before.

Recently, she was amused when I refered to someone I liked as "a hot ticket."

I was surprised to find the phrase "moseying around" in a book about the Civil War.

In my library, I have a book that gives the derivation and usage of slang phrases.. I should try to find it and educate myself.. there are probably lots of swear words that I could be using, but don't know about yet. And you probably know that I have a book with French swear words and I have been trying to use those instead of the common ones in United States usage that bore me... I was, however, surprised to learn that my beautiful daughter in law already knew some of those French swear words. Tsk Tsk!

My late wife was French Canadian and her family spoke lots of French... however, when they swore, it was American words that they used.

I am going to say something that you probably will not believe.. my late wife of 43 years and I never swore in front of our kids.. and only swore on rare ocassions in each other's presence.. like when hitting a thumb with a hammer.. or when dropping something gooey all over the mail.. but you know that it is the S word that is commonly used on that occasion.


Basta! (no that is not a swear word.. it just means that that is enough of this nonsense!)

Fat News

Good News! Get a shot, lose your fat! (maybe) I just came upon an article from 2004 by Peter Jaret. He writes how Nikhil V. Dhurandhar, a nutritional biochemist, thinks that a virus may cause obesity in some people. The human adenovirus-36 (or AD-36), when injected in monkeys causes significant weight gain.

When fat cells are exposed to AD-36m they begin to multiply. A check of overweight people found that those with AD-36 antibodies (indicating that they have at sometime been infected with AD-36) are more likely to be overweight than those people who were never so infected. So, maybe a vaccine could be developed that would counteract this infection (like the Flu virus) and make us all thin again.

Ah... to be thin again.. maybe I could start to wear all of those clothes that I have been saving for a thinner day. For instance.. I have 42" waist pants that I could wear.. also 40" waist pants.. and 38" waist pants. I can remember when my waist was in the 30" waist range... my step was more lively, I seemed to float when I walked. Now.. I plod..

I even bought some Haggar pants that have a waist mechanism that allows a 42" waist set of pants to fit a 46" waist. Imagine that!

But, why is that a problem? It's like elevator shoes. The best of them can only add 3" to your height. This is the same as I can get from my boots. Over the years, I have lost about 4" in height. This usually happens to people as they age. So, I probably should wear my boots all the time if I want to be like I was before.

Now, all of my children and grandchildren are taller than I am. Some of them ask "Prepop, when did you join the 'little people' club?" As I have mentioned before in this blog, at one time I was above average in height, later I was average height, now I am a short person. So what. People expect old folks to be short.

However, I know some eighty year old friends who are still taller than six feet and have no indication that they will ever be shorter. I also know some old friends who are so short they are about to disappear from view. Ain't genetics funny.

The best thing to do is accept what nature has done to you. You can't change it.. right? As Popeye says: "I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam." So, relax, take life easy.. you're a long time dead.
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