Mr. Bumble

How can full-grown human adults be terrorized by a 2 ounce bumble bee? That is totally irrational. However, this was the case last week, before we learned more about the fat little rascal that had been dive-bombing us. The guy we are talking about is called a borer or carpenter bee. These bees bore a completely circular hole in wooden items that lead to larger areas within, where the females deposit eggs to propagate their species. The females then go about their business gathering nectar for nourishment while the males "protect" the area.

We guessed that much.. however, we didn't realize that the male has no stinger and could not harm us. His duty is just to scare away trespassers. He does look big and mean... he has a square yellow spot on his head that I guess has evolved because it must be scary to other creatures. Well, it sure did scare us for a while!

I had encountered borer bees at my last house. They had made lots of circular tunnels in my wooden side deck. But they didn't bother me at all. They came and went and we lived in harmony. Not so at this house... this guy was a regular kamikazi pilot. To counteract these attacks I swatted at him with rolled up newspapers, yardsticks, fly swatters, shovels, shoes and broomsticks.. to no effect.

This was getting to be a desperate situation.. we were now not able to go out on our back deck without being attacked. So.. I hurried to WalMart and consulted their famous garden experts. They suggested hornet spray. I bought the wasp spray. I followed the instructions: I covered myself all over with a hurricane slicker and waited for dusk when the little fellow was supposed to be going 'beddie bye." And then.. I sprayed upward in the direction that I thought he might be hiding. A twenty foot long bead of fluid went flying upwards.

Unfortunately, I forgot about the direction our constant wind was blowing at the time, and got most of the spray on me. But, you know, the more I thought about it, the better I felt because I hate to kill any creature. Some times I do kill some of the large black spiders who resent us living where we do, because they lived here first. However they must be killed because my experience with spider bites has not been good, and I don't want to spend any more time in a Wound Care Center.

When I kill the spiders, I get a strong guilt feeling. My imagination tells me that someday I will have to stand before a spider judge and 12 spider jurors who will decide how to punish me for killing an innocent creature that never did me any harm and just wanted to be left alone in peace.

So, instead of being a borer bee murderer, I decided to learn more about them. Googling "borer bees" produced lots of learned articles. That is where I learned that the male borer bee is a "macho" creature who is all bluff and bluster. He has no stinger, so he can't hurt a soul. His mate; however, does have a stinger and can stab you if you try to put your finger in the circular hole... but, if you just mind your own business, this lady will mind hers and leave you alone.

So, with these bees, all you have to do is live with the "macho" male bothering you from time to time. I have now learned to ignore him and we are getting along quite well. (I do swat at him from time to time if he gets too close though, just to let him know that I also am "macho". )

This was not my first encounter with bees. Seven years ago while I was working on the computer in the second floor of my house in Gamber, Maryland, I felt a buzzing going by my ears. And then I felt another, and another.. When I investigated further I discovered that little baby honey bees were coming out of the air duct in the room and heading for the closed window. They were coming out in formation, one after another, just as though they were programmed for a cartoon show.

Very gingerly, I opened the window so that they could fly out. But they kept coming for a long time. As the line got smaller I started a search to find out what was going on. Apparently, these little bees were hatching in the attic and going out on their first excursions to search for flowers. And then, I was amazed to find that millions of bees had swarmed on the front of my house and had found a little hole where they entered, probably to find a pleasantly warm place for their queen.

Not knowing what to do, and not wanting to be stung, I phoned every bee person I could find in the phone book. Bee keepers did not want to help me, but they all mentioned a guy who provided bees to bee keepers. I called him and he was delighted to get some more bees and came out with a big vacuum machine late one night. He sucked all of the bees out of the house.. It was too dark to see what he was doing and I really didn't want to see what was going on. I just was glad that the bees would not be killed and probably would get a new home soon.

Fast forward to last year when I was trying to sell my Gamber house. You guessed it.. the bees came back. If I knew how to post a picture to this blog I would be able to show you what a zillion bees stuck on a house looks like. This time, the bee vacuumer refused to come out. He had enough bees.. and he knew of noboby else who would take them. Now what could I do? I could not sell a house with a zillion bees attached.

So, I gave in.. I didn't want to do it, but I had to. I contacted an exterminator company and they came out and did whatever it was that was necessary. Once again, I didn't watch them. And now, I could sell my house. (But.. guess what, a few of the bees have come back again. My daughter and son-in-law bought the house and they are keeping a close watch to make sure that the larger group of bees doesn't come back.)

The Mail Lady just dropped off our latest Netflix movie: The Secret Life of Bees.