Monday, February 28, 2011

Exciting Stuff


Let me mention some really exciting stuff that has been going on.


01. Cell phones. A store in Mayaysia is selling paper copies of cell phones, so that the dead can make calls from Heaven to their loved ones without having to pay for an online connection. . I guess you just drop them into the coffins and then wait for a celestial connection to be made.

02. Cell phones. Toronto police respond to over 300 calls each day by people who accidently sit on their phones. These are called "Butt calls" and account for 10% of 911 calls.

03. Parents' dorms: Chinese universities are setting up separate dormitories for overprotective parents. As you know, China's one child policy means that the single child must be protected at all costs.

04. History: In my opinion, Texas textbooks do not necessarily follow the true story of History. As they stress America as a "Christian" land, ruled by "Christian" principles., they have dumped Deists like Thomas Jefferson and others from these books. However, one hopes that when students reach college level training, they can think and read for themselves and see if what they were taught was true.

05. Pancakes? The International House of Pancakes sued the International House of Prayer for the use of IHOP. It would not have been a problem, except that the prayer group started to serve food.

06. Sarah. Jim Stentzel of Key West, Florida, says that followers of Sarah Palin should be called "Palindromes". Draw your own conclusions about this.. especially considering that palindromes are the same backward from forward.

07. Birth questions continue: The Washington Spectator reports that Arizona Republican Senator Judy Burges filed a bill in an attempt to keep President Obama off the 2012 ballot. It would require an original long-form birth certificate that would include, the date and place of birth, the name of the hospital and the attending physician, and signatures of all of the witnesses in attendence. Unbelievably, forty legislators have signed on with the bill!

08. Gun control? Since 1968, over one million Americans have died of gunshots, in crimes, accidents and suicides.

09. Hubba! Hubba! A British survey indicates that American men remain attractive to women up to the age of 55. In the past, women no longer watched men when they reached the age of 45.

10. Donny: The Nation magazine printed the following poem by Calvin Trillin about Donald Rumsfeld's recent memoir:

The book is fat, the message slim:
Mistakes were made, but not by him.

(This has made me want to read it.)

11. La loi c'est la loi. As soon as the policeman could get into the hospital, he handed the mother of a 13-year-old girl a ticket for jaywalking. He couldn't give it to the girl herself, because she was in a coma after being hit by a car.

12. Snoring: Jenny Chapman, British subject, was found by a sleep clinic to be the loudest snorer on record... some of her snores reached to 111.6 decibels.. louder that the noise from a diesel truck. One commiserates with Mr. Chapman.

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