Exciting Stuff

Let me mention some really exciting stuff that has been going on.


01. Cell phones. A store in Mayaysia is selling paper copies of cell phones, so that the dead can make calls from Heaven to their loved ones without having to pay for an online connection. . I guess you just drop them into the coffins and then wait for a celestial connection to be made.

02. Cell phones. Toronto police respond to over 300 calls each day by people who accidently sit on their phones. These are called "Butt calls" and account for 10% of 911 calls.

03. Parents' dorms: Chinese universities are setting up separate dormitories for overprotective parents. As you know, China's one child policy means that the single child must be protected at all costs.

04. History: In my opinion, Texas textbooks do not necessarily follow the true story of History. As they stress America as a "Christian" land, ruled by "Christian" principles., they have dumped Deists like Thomas Jefferson and others from these books. However, one hopes that when students reach college level training, they can think and read for themselves and see if what they were taught was true.

05. Pancakes? The International House of Pancakes sued the International House of Prayer for the use of IHOP. It would not have been a problem, except that the prayer group started to serve food.

06. Sarah. Jim Stentzel of Key West, Florida, says that followers of Sarah Palin should be called "Palindromes". Draw your own conclusions about this.. especially considering that palindromes are the same backward from forward.

07. Birth questions continue: The Washington Spectator reports that Arizona Republican Senator Judy Burges filed a bill in an attempt to keep President Obama off the 2012 ballot. It would require an original long-form birth certificate that would include, the date and place of birth, the name of the hospital and the attending physician, and signatures of all of the witnesses in attendence. Unbelievably, forty legislators have signed on with the bill!

08. Gun control? Since 1968, over one million Americans have died of gunshots, in crimes, accidents and suicides.

09. Hubba! Hubba! A British survey indicates that American men remain attractive to women up to the age of 55. In the past, women no longer watched men when they reached the age of 45.

10. Donny: The Nation magazine printed the following poem by Calvin Trillin about Donald Rumsfeld's recent memoir:

The book is fat, the message slim:
Mistakes were made, but not by him.

(This has made me want to read it.)

11. La loi c'est la loi. As soon as the policeman could get into the hospital, he handed the mother of a 13-year-old girl a ticket for jaywalking. He couldn't give it to the girl herself, because she was in a coma after being hit by a car.

12. Snoring: Jenny Chapman, British subject, was found by a sleep clinic to be the loudest snorer on record... some of her snores reached to 111.6 decibels.. louder that the noise from a diesel truck. One commiserates with Mr. Chapman.

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From billionaires to shopping bags.

Here are some more things that you may or may not be thinking about.

01. Brain alarms: Many years ago, I realized that I could set my own brain alarm clock. If I told myself at bed time that I needed to get up at 6 am, I woke up at 6 am. If I told myself that I needed to get up at 8:55 am, that was when I would wake up. I did not need an alarm clock. I still can do that even at this advanced age; however, I don't trust myself like I did, and I do use an alarm clock.

Thinking about that, long ago I decided to find out if I could set a mental alarm for the future, not just for the next morning. So, as an experiment, on vacations, as I drove, I would set my mental alarm for 5, 10, 20, or more years in the future.. at which time I wanted me to see what I was seeing through the car window at the time I was setting my alarm. I did that a lot, and lived to regret it.

For years, as I was engaged in some activity, I would suddenly get a flash picture in my brain of a place we were driving through.. years ago. At first, I didn't realize what was happening.. when I did.. it amazed me, and I've always wondered if other people had the same experience. So far, nobody has owned up to it and I guess I am the only weird person around.

02. Watch out, bag people! Now we learn that reusable shopping bags may have bad bacteria. It makes sense, but who would have thought it? I have a wonderful bag that I bought in South Carolina. It is excellently made to handle the heaviest load that I can handle, reinforced in a southern textile mill with strong threads. It probably will never wear out. However, now I have to think about all the things that I have carried in it over the years... milk jugs, vegetables, meat, sloppy soup, fruit, candy, etc. The bacteria must have been there through many generations. I really hate to wash it out and weaken it, but I guess I will have to.

03. Is this real? Another Chinese man has gone into a Kindergarten class and slashed the children. This is the 7th time this has happened since last March. What is going on in that country?I thought that we had the monopoly on nut cases, apparently not.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldnews/asia/china/7925666/three-children-killed-in-attack-on-chinese-kindergarten.html

04. Fight fire with fire? In Holland, alcoholics are being treated with beer. A half litre every little while keeps the patients happy with a slight buzz so that they can get the attention that they need.. instead of being bombed out of their minds all the time and therefore, basket cases. Damn clever, these Dutch.

http://hello.news352.lu/edito-59772-dutch-clinic-cures-alcoholics-with-beer.html

05. Mine's bigger than yours! France's Nicolas Sarkozy is getting a new plane. And.. it has a wingspan 2 feet longer than Air Force One! (Air-Sarko-One) Yah yah yah yah yah yah!

http://luxist.com/2010/08/01/nicolas-sarkozys-new-presidential-plane-gets-a-test-flight

06. What a nerve! A Florida burgler who had broken into a van, was caught and sat on by the owner and two friends while they waited for the police. Now, that burgler is suing the owner of the van for damages, because he sustained a permanent disability when those guys sat on him.

07. The U.S. crack case. A New York judge dismissed a case against a young guy for wearing his baggy pants low enough to show his underwear. ( I had mixed this case up with one in the U.K.) All Americans have the right to dress the way they want to dress.. right?

08. Watchit! If you get an email saying that you are suffering under a virus and need to purchase special anti-virus protection, be careful. That message may be "scareware"... and if you buy some phony anti-virus software, you may be getting "scamware." (Once, there was only "hardware" and "software."

http://news.cnet.com/8301-19518_3-10466253-238.html

09. Respect. At an Allentown, PA church carnival, a target on one of the games was what appeared to be a figure of President Obama. Although the owner said: "It wasn't meant to be him".. the figure wore a belt buckle with the Presidential seal and held a scroll labeled "Health Bill." How long will this country allow people to be disrespectable to the President of the United States? Regardless of how you feel about what he is doing in office, he is the President of the United States. Why would anyone want him to fail at what he is doing? And why should he be the object of ridicule by sub-cretans?

http://wvgazette.com/rssfeeds//201008040699

10. Freedom of Speech? Somewhat similar to #09 above, the Maryland Motor Vehicle Administration offices have been visited by persons who block the entrances and display tables with pictures of the President shown as Hitler. (!) always wonder why people like this waste their time and bother honest people in a cause that can never be fulfilled. At the Westminster MVA, the demonstrators took time to call people "Jerks".. surely that should have gotten them evicted.

If I had the time, and the inclination, I would have taken pictures of these guys at the Westminster MVA and had the pictures blown up to place on a table across from them. I would have had dunce caps shown on their heads. Would I have been able to do that?

http://weblogs.baltimoresun.com/news/traffic/2009/08/obama_as_hitler_at_mva_its_leg.html

11. Money. A lot of billionaires have pledged to give away half of their wealth to charity. They have been encouraged in this respect by fellow billionaires, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates. Great idea!
(Tevya asked God to make him a rich man.. what do most people think is "rich"? Being worth a million dollars? .. I am rich.. but not necessarily with money.. but with the love of family and friends. Although, like Tevya, would it hurt if I had a little bit of money?)

http://www.thegivingpledge.org/

12. The other "bread". Good news. Whole grain bread is selling better than plain white refined bread. In the past twenty years or so, it has amazed me to see people buy tasteless white bread, when they could have nice healthful tasty whole wheat or whole grain bread at close to the same price. I'm glad that the message about healthful bread is finally getting through to folks.

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Chinese Immigrants in New Bedford, Massachusetts

The Nation magazine for January 4, 2010 has an article about Chinese illegal aliens. They mention a Sister Ping who arranged shipments out of a mom and Pop store in New York City.

In 1992, she had a boat off the coast of Boston holding more than 100 illegal migrants who needed to find an off-loading point. For the payment of close to a million dollars, the immigrants were deposited without notice on a wharf in New Bedford, Massachusetts.

Apparently, for an average of $30,000, Chinese citizens could arrange for a trip to The Golden Mountain, which the United States was known as in China. The 100 illegals had probably paid a total of 3 Million dollars.. so Sister Ping could afford the one million.

The main ship that ferried illegals was named The Golden Venture.In 1993, the ship went aground at New York's Rockaway Peninsula and 286 illegals escaped the ship.. ten drowned. U.S. marshals took posession of the ship and it was repainted and renamed the United Caribbean. After carrying cargo for a while, it was abandoned in Miami. Currently, it has been turned into an artificial reef in Boca Raton, Florida.

As far as I'm concerned, Chinese immigrants are welcome to the US, legal or illegal. These are intelligent, motivated workers.

For years, I have wanted to study the Chinese language at the local Community College. Just imagine.. 5 year old Chinese kids can read and understand those characters so confusing to us European types. Our friend, Rose Marie, has a nice red sign tacked to her apartment door that she assures us says: "Welcome." She also has a dangling brass set of characters that say: "Good Luck." I would like to be able to read such characters.

You heard me talk about the brothel sign in a recent blog. Let me repeat another Chinese story: My late wife and I used to go to a nice Chinese restaurant in Catonsville, Maryland. On one wall was a picture of lots and lots of horses. I decided, while waiting for supper, to count the horses. Each time I counted, I got a different number. 99 92 102 98 105, etc.

Frustrated, I finally gave up. Seeing some Chinese characters on the picture, I decided to ask the waitress what the characters meant. She said: "100 Horses."

Now, if you will forgive me, I will confess to an indiscretion which I perpetrated as a child of ten years. Remember, I was a street kid, with not much adult supervision. In the downtown of New Bedford, there was a wonderful walk-up Chinese Restaurant called: Charlie Wong's. We kids would sneak up to the back door and yell: "Charlie Wong plays with his ding dong!" Immediately, a large Chinese man would come out of the door, wielding a large meat cleaver and chattering in Chinese.. we would get a great workout running away from him. (I wonder if he really would chop us up if he caught us.)

I'm in awe with the advancements that China has made since they dropped Communisim. But have they really? If one looks further into Communistic Theory, one sees that the next step after communism has equalized everything, is to jump into a form of Capitalism. So, was it the death of Communism, or the birth of the next step? For instance, China has now passed the U. S. in the number of new automobiles purchased. Amazing!

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Christmas Shopping #2 2009

Well, since we never did get any Christmas shopping done last night, we (Elaine) decided that we would set out again at 5 pm today. Our destinations were: The Factory Card Outlet, Boscov's, and Lowes. And, guess what.. we did get to each of them.

At the Factory Card Outlet, we bought a nice card for our friend who is turning 80 tomorrow. We also bought some more XMAS cards. (I don't know how we are going to get all of our cards mailed before Christmas.. but so what, it won't be the first time our cards were late.)

Those who read my blogs know how I feel about clerks asking for your telephone number which they can then sell to brokers for lots of money. At our TRIAD meeting today, we talked about that.. one person said when they are asked for their number, they make one up.. others said that they say: "My number is unlisted." For years, I gave them telephone numbers of elected public officials. Probably, under the Patriot Act, that would be illegal today.

When the clerk asked for my number, I said: "I'll tell you mine, if you tell me yours." She actually started to give me her number until Elaine gave her a dirty look.
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At the Outlet, they had what is probably today's top Tasteless Gift: A pig made out of white candy, with a pile of chocolate malt balls at his rear end. I wonder who buys stuff like that.. no.. I know who buys stuff like that. They drive giant pickups and blast their horns at you to get out of their way.. and when they pass you, you get a good view of the testicles hanging from their trailer hitch.
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White Christmas and I Wish You a Merry Christmas were playing as we shopped.

Next, we went to Boscov's Department Store. Crowded with people.. spending their "stimulus" money? Like Belks, Boscov's has a central perfume section. Like Belks, I have to keep a close watch on Elaine to make sure she doesn't soak up on scent. She smells good without it, but, like all women, she likes perfume.

We bought a nice jade necklace for our friend's birthday. It has Chinese characters embedded in it.. that reminds me of a true story.. one of New York's famous socialites always wore a brass Chinese token around her throat. It looked like one of those coins with a square hole in the middle.

One day, at a party, a Chinese man was a guest and took an interest in her charm. She noticed and asked him to translate.. she had always wondered with the characters meant. He declined politely, but she insisted.. so he translated:

"Admit One to the Hong Kong Brothel."
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Now, I don't know what the characters on the necklace we bought mean.. but there was a clue.. a note said that there were six wishes connected with the jade piece. It didn't say what the wishes were.

One has to be careful with Chinese translations. I have a Chinese scroll that shows a beautiful and scary tiger surveying his jungle area. Very realistic. At one time, I had an employee who grew up in China. I decided to ask her to translate the characters shown below the tiger. She said that she would rather not say what it meant. When I insisted (I was her boss afterall), she finally said: "China is a tiger, waiting to devour the world."
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Well, this seems to be coming true.. It amazes me that in a very short period of time, a poor communist country has turned into one of the outstanding capitalistic countries in the world. Once, only Commisars could afford an automobile.. now, China buys more new cars each year than the United States!
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Elaine and I picked up some small cheap items in Boscov's auditorium.. just as we went to pay for them, the clerk got up, put on her coat and walked out. So, we went outside to another sales station.. nobody was there.. so we went to another, and another, and another.. where were the clerks? It was 6:30 PM and we figured that maybe this was their break time.

I finally spotted a lady who looked like management.. she agreed to check us out and take our money.. but not before looking around and not finding any clerks. Strange.

Next, we went to the (guess what) Alfred Dunner petite section.. just like we did at Belks.. however, at Boscov's they treat the boyfriends and husbands better than at Belks and provide a chair near the fitting room. There I sat for what seemed like hours (but for only 30 minutes), holding Elaine's selections and looking like Musetta's sugar-daddy in LaBoheme.

White Christmas and I Wish You a Merry Christmas were playing over the loud speaker.

(Incidentally, at Boscov's they have a section named after a guy named Clarence.. the prices there are a lot lower than in other sections... it's funny, they put an extra "e" in the word and spell it a little differently.. they spell it: Clearance.)

(Also, from where I was sitting, it seemed as though every piece labeled "Alfred Dunner" was priced as $36. But when Elaine checked out.. each piece rang up at a different price. This is very difficult for a man to understand.)

(I noticed that next to the Alfred Dunner section is a section labeled: Sag Harbor. Now, honestly, is any woman going to wear clothing that has the word SAG in it?)

As we came out of Boscov's a gentleman was blowing his nose into his handkerchief and made a perfect "honk!" In all of the years I have been alive, I have never been able to "honk". This must be a specialty of some men.. I have never heard a woman "honk". It must take a lot of practice to be able to "honk".

Although we were now starving and grumpy.. we made our way to Lowe's and purchased some special light bulbs for our kitchen light. The bulbs seem to last just 2 weeks each before they burn out. We also bought two green extension cords so that we can get our outside wreath lights to glow. Our outlets were dead a couple of days ago. My son-in-law, John, told us what was probably wrong. When the village fixit man came to look into our problem, I told him what my son had said.. and the fixit man found that what John said was true. He reset something or other and then we had power. Power! Power! And don't we all long to have power?

Senator Joe Lieberman has power and he is using it to thwart the wishes of the Democratic Party. There are a number of petitions going around requesting his removal from the Senate. As Disraeli said: "Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely." Witness: Adolph Hitler; Benito Mussolini; Tojo; Stalin; George W. Bush.

Some of you may not agree with what I have just said.. but remember, this is my opinion.. you can have your own opinion.. this is still a free and wonderful country.
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While in Lowe's, the loudspeaker was blaring: White Christmas and I Wish You a Merry Christmas..............

Well, once again.. we managed not to get any Christmas shopping done.. but we had a lot of fun.

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Lots of stuff

Wow! Lots of great news today. (Well, maybe not so great.)

01. Manson clan member, Squeaky Fromme, was released from prison. Now, let's see if she moves in with her buddy, Baltimore's own, John Waters.

02. Slovakia has outlawed the speaking of anything but Slovak in Government offices and businesses. Hungarian can be spoken at cultural events, but all jokes must be repeated in Slovak.

03. An Afghan bill just became law and allows a man to starve his wife if she refuses to have sex. In addition, a woman must get a husband's permission to work and fathers and grandfathers are given exclusive custody of children. (sounds like the Taliban is back in power)

04. Somebody asked Italian Prime Minister, Silvio Berlusconi (72) if it wasn't dangerous for him to be messing around with his 17 year old girlfriend. Silvio supposedly said: "Well, if she dies, she dies." (I know, it's an old joke.)

05. A Spanish study found that women who drink moderate amounts of beer are strengthening their bones because of the plant homones in that drink. (What about men? My bones must be nice and strong.)

06. A Joliet, Illinois spectator gave a boisterous yawn in court and the insulted judge sentenced him to 6 months in jail! (Come on, Judge, a $50 fine maybe... but 6 months? Who elected this judge?)

07. Is a rooster an "alarm cluck?"

08. Chinese astronauts will no longer be allowed to have bad breath.

09. A bank fired an employee for tackling a robber and holding him for police!

10. The Wisconsin State Fair initiated a couple of new treats:

Chocolate covered bacon on a stick.

Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches dipped in pancake batter and deep fried.

Ummmm... Yummy!

11. The "birthers" who tried to bash Obama about his birth certificate, showed a picture of what they said was his certificate that showed his birthplace as "Republic of Kenya." As we would have guessed, the Republic of Kenya was not yet in existence when Obama was born. (Some of these "birthers" profess to be "born again" Christians, yet continue to "bear false witness.")

12. A Washington, DC lobbying firm admitted sending forged letters urging oposition to climate change legislation.

13. Elkridge, Maryland police found 28 cats and a guinea pig during a house investigation. They also found two dead cats in the refrigerator freezer.

Now... let's talk about Westminster, Maryland.

Jamison Hensley, writing in the Baltimore Sun, mentioned that football teams, like the Ravens, go to "out-of-the-way" locations, like Westminster, to practice. In fact, he said that the lure of these places is that nothing is happening there to distract them.

Maybe so, but I take this as an insult. There are lots of things going on in Westminster, Maryland. However, most of the activity is not the kind of stuff that would interest so-called sophisticated ball players or sportscasters. For instance:

01. Sixth graders at Northwest Middle School have created a website on the history of Robert Moton High School, a segregated black high school from not so long ago.

02. After a public rebellion a while ago, Senior citizen gamblers could once again play for small stakes money at Carroll County Senior Activity Centers. Jay Leno talked about this a couple of years ago. Obviously, managers of a New York town had their TV sets off when Leno aired this. Last week, they banned daily card games at their Senior Centers because of the money stakes. These poor city fathers will have to learn the hard way, just as they did in Westminster, that the power of the elderly is mighty.

03. Carroll County, Maryland has always been a very safe place to live, in fact, hardly anybody ever locked their car doors, until now. Last week, 15 cars were broken into and items removed. All but one of the car doors were unlocked. The perpetrators will probably be found to be 20-year old males, whose medula oblongatas have not yet matured, and who are heavily into drugs.. that they buy on the street corners of Baltimore City.
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