Auntie Mame said (paraphrasing): "Life is a banquet, and yet some poor chumps are starving to death!"
This seems especially true to me when I observe the election activity this year. Negativity seems to be a new way of life, and I don't like it at all. We have always had some negative ads, but this is ridiculous. Elaine and I took advantage of early voting and have done our duty, but we still have two weeks to be subjected to mail, telephone, email and tv messages telling us how bad each of the opposite candidates is. (I know that no amount of bad-mouthing will influence my vote and I hope it doesn't influence yours.) So, I would say to these negative people: "Relax! Begin to enjoy this wonderful banquet of a life. Look around you at all the beauty. It's there. When all you do and say is negative, you miss out on so much."
01. Cold feet? The Greenland marathon was run yesterday and won by a lady from Stockholm. I believe the temperature was a balmy 19 degrees, I could be wrong. I heard that one year the race was run in minus ten degree weather. The runners have to be very careful to avoid hidden cracks and crevices and some wear spiked running shoes so they don't slip on the ice.
02. Country Living. We live in a rural county in Maryland where there are many old churches that provide Saturday food fests. For instance, a couple of weeks ago we got carry-out crab cakes from one church. I'm not an expert on crab cakes, but Elaine said they were some of the best she had ever had.
Yesterday, we got carry-out fried oysters from another old country church. They were wonderful.
Soon, bazaar season will be upon us and we will be able to do the rounds of the churches and sample all the goodies here is the "land of pleasant living."
As a person involved with several senior citizen organizations, I get to attend lots of funerals. I make it a point to eulogize many of these persons if I feel that they are not being served well in that regard by clergy or relatives. After these services, there usually is a luncheon put on by the "church ladies". The food is always yummy, and helps to keep sweet memories of the deceased stay with us.
03. Commandments. Recently, I finished listening to a book on tape that I highly recommend. The Year of Living Biblically by A.J. Jacobs. AJ is an editor at Esquire magazine and is the author of several books, including The Know-It-All, where he recounts his "humble quest to become the smartest person in the world" by reading the Encyclopedia Britanica from A to Z.
I will not try to give a review of AJ's book on tape. My son, Chris, is an author and does much better than I could ever do at book reviews. Suffice it to say, I enjoyed the book on tape so much that I ordered a print copy of the book from Amazon so that I could get the full effect of AJ's scholarship.
Just imagine, finding all of the commandments and suggestions in both the new and old testaments of the Bible and trying to observe them for a whole year. Try the read.. you'll like it.
04. Goats? A book that I recently read was The Men Who Stare at Goats by Jon Ronson and a helper that doesn't get mentioned in the copy of the book that I have. After some delay, the movie based on the book has finally been released. (Did it first have to get US Government approval?)
Since I was in a small way connected with Air Force people who acted similarly to those (real persons) mentioned in the book, I got completely absorbed in the book. Once again, I will not try to give a review of the book. I will tell you that I was able to use one of the techniques mentioned in the book to save my life when surrounded by drunken Army tank drivers in Nuremberg, Germany fifty years ago. Read my book about that one.
05. Happy seniors. Speaking of banquets.. last week, it was my privilege to help set up the induction ceremony for the 2010 members of the Maryland Senior Citizens Hall of Fame. Fifty seniors were honored for doing years of volunteer service to their communities. These inductees had been involved in all kinds of activity that helped their fellow citizens of all ages. It was indeed a happy occasion. No negativity there.
I want to mention one of the inductees and I don't think he would mind. His last name is Vaughn (without the "a"). He brought a group of cheering supporters with him.. 6 tables of them.. 59 ladies! Since we have (almost) the same last name, I asked him to take some of whatever he has that makes him so attractive to women and bottle it for me. (Only kidding, Elaine...)
06. Amazing. Simon Cowell's "Got Talent" franchise now broadcasts in over 30 countries, including China. In Shanghai, the winner was a 23 year old man who plays the piano with his toes! Liiu Wei lives in Beijing and lost his legs at age 10. Parents.. tell this to your reluctant piano playing kids.
07. Parlez-vous? The Associated Press reports that a woman in England speaks English with a French accent even though she has never been in France or studied French. She has a condition known as Foreign Accent Syndrome. There are only a few cases of this around the world. Supposedly, the syndrome appeared suddenly after she had a severe migraine attack.
08. Old friends. Recently, coming back from three weeks at the ocean, I tried to catch up on three weeks of newspapers... including some online from my Massachusetts hometown. Of course, the first thing I checked was the obituaries.
Baltimore Sun: I saw a memorial to the lady who was my secretary for several years at the Social Security Administration in Woodlawn, Maryland.
Letha Alston: a marvelous secretary and good friend who made a big impact on my life. She passed at the age of 66 in 2006..
Letha once gave me a birthday card that said: "You remind me of Chinese Food: Egg Foo Old!"
Letha also was a great supplier of jokes for my stand-up comedy routines: the one I remember best has the punchline: "that's nacho cheese!"
I miss Letha.
New Bedford Standard Times:
David Burr, who died on his 78th birthday.. September 30th, 2010. Dave was a friend at Rodman School in New Bedford, Massachusetts. He was a comedian type kid who always had a joke or a funny tale to tell. He was another influence on my life. RIP
09. Resurrection? Last week in Baltimore, an 89 year old lady was found on the floor of her bathroom. The policemen assumed that she was dead and contacted her son, who made arrangements to donate her body to science.
When the college worker came to get the body, he noticed that the body's arm moved. He checked her pulse, and sure-enough, she was alive.
Baltimore police will get a refresher course in what to check for when an apparently dead body is found. (read Edgar Allen Poe)
10. Another resurrection? A Michigan dog was "put down" by its owner because of a painful spinal condition. The owner put the corpse in the garage to be buried later. The next morning, he found the dog standing up and giving him a dirty look.
11. Stink bugs. Well, the invasion has finally come to Maryland. We have always had some stink bugs, but this is ridiculous. Open the door, they fly in. Squash them, they give off a pungent odor. Some people like the odor. Most don't. SuZee won't eat them. Elaine wants them thrown down the toilet. I usually just pick them up on a paper and throw them out.
The local orchard folks are very upset. These bugs destroy the looks of apples and nobody will buy them, including canners. Farmers can't use the chemicals that could kill them because of environmental hazards. Some want to import Japanese stink-bug predators, but that may become a problem ecologically also. Its a problem that needs to be addressed before next year's crop season.
12. Humor. Those who have XM radio have a great resource for humor. There is a "clean joke" channel. As I've mentioned before.. a true humorist does not have to resort to dirty jokes or cuss words to get a laugh. I am developing a blog for clean jokes that I have accumulated for almost fifty years... visit: http://joevaughansjokes.blogspot.com/
((I apologize, George Carlin!))
Enjoy the banquet!
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Showing posts with label French. Show all posts
Showing posts with label French. Show all posts
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Saturday, March 13, 2010
Weekly Dozen @ March 12, 2010
Old and new stuff.
01. 2010: I-PHONE Love: A study has found that many people are addicted to their I-PHONES. In fact, they found that many people even sleep with them under their pillows. (Well, you don't want to miss an important call.)
02. 1950: Cremation: A man in Wellington, New Zealand, specified in his will that his body be cremated and the ashes put to work in an hour glass. (Good idea.. he will be serving a purpose even though he is not breathing anymore.)
03. 2010: 3-D: A newspaper in Belgium has put out a newspaper edition in 3D. They even supply the glasses. (The news just jumps out at you.)
04. 1950: Gun Control: Police in Chicago melt down the weapons seized from gangsters and makes them into medals to give to brave crime-fighters. (It's probably more lucrative these days to sell them back to the crooks or export them to formerly peaceful countries.)
05. 2010: Netflix spin-off? A new company has been formed to mail fresh underwear to guys each month. (Do you have to send them back after you have used them for one week? In the 1950's, guys did not wear underwear.)
06. 1950: Teeth: I've seen George Washington's wooden (ivory actually) teeth and a guy in 1950 made a set of false teeth for himself out of pieces of scrap aluminum. (During the 1950's I worked for a time in an aluminum chair factory.. I wasn't very good at the job and lots of my chairs got dumped into a molten aluminum bath to be reformed. Perhaps they could have used my rejects to make sturdy false teeth.)
07. 2010: Drunks Crossing: In some part or Rumania, signs have been put up to warn drivers about drunks who may be staggering across the street. (Deer Crossing signs in the US show a leaping buck.. what is the symbol for the Rumanian drunk?)
08: 1950: Divorce: A man in Milwaukee who lost his wife in a divorce suit, asked the judge to at least award the family dog to him. (Sounds reasonable to me. After all, "a man's best friend is his dog.. but a 5 cent cigar is a smoke.." or something like that.. probably some wisdom from H.L. Mencken that I can't figure out.)
Incidentally, a chiropractor met with our NARFE group yesterday. I mentioned H.L. Mencken's 1927 article in the Baltimore Sun about chiropractic. It didn't seem to bother him at all.. he did say that if you look up "curmudgeon" in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Mencken.
09: 2010: Diet: The French have developed the "air diet".. yes, it's like "air guitar" etc.. Like Marcel Marceau, you pretend you are eating. You make the motions with the empty glasses and plates but no food enters your gullet. This is guaranteed to help you lose weight.
A diet poem I like is:
My soul is dark with stormy riot,
Directly traceable to diet.
Dieting is not easy and no fun. Here are some tips that I have found helpful:
a. Count every calorie that you consume.
b. Put exercise time on your schedule every day.
c. Drink green tea or water before meals.
d. Chew every bite 20 times (or more).
Personally, I don't always observe these tips.. although every calorie I have had since New Year's Day has been recorded. Have I lost weight? I won't know until I go for my next check-up in April.
10. 1950: RIP?: A man in Petersburg, Virginia purchased 2,180 tombstones discarded from a cemetery and built a house with them. (Question: Why were they discarded? Is that the fate of all tombstones? At the Cushing Cemetery in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts, there are headstones and footstones going back to 1810, if not earlier. One would expect these tombstones to be cared for until the sun burns the earth all up, or until cloning gets so good that we will all be recreated, and people live forever so that such stones are no longer of any use.)
11. 2010: Belly dancers: A group of 11 belly dancing teachers and students will be performing for the local AARP Chapter next month. They call themselves Anerneic Magic. I am unable to find the word in any of my dictionaries. (Kind of similar:
aneroid: containing no liquid (maybe they don't drink before performing)
anerly: merely .. Scotch dialect.
an: no with ern/erne: sea eagle (crossword puzzle word) .. (Maybe "no sea eagles" ? After all, these are belly dancers, not birds)
I am alerting the emergency people to stand by for a 911 call if the dancers turn up the heat too much for us old timey dudes. I'll let you know what happened, if I survive. You may know the story of my belly dancer who caused the Social Security Administration to outlaw such folks from entering the premises.. I don't think that will happen at the Elks Lodge in Westminster.
12. 2010: Funny phrases: Elaine mentioned a phrase yesterday in connection with a guy who tried to kill his wife with a hammer. She said: "His ass is grass." and was surprised to learn that I had never heard the phrase before.
Recently, she was amused when I refered to someone I liked as "a hot ticket."
I was surprised to find the phrase "moseying around" in a book about the Civil War.
In my library, I have a book that gives the derivation and usage of slang phrases.. I should try to find it and educate myself.. there are probably lots of swear words that I could be using, but don't know about yet. And you probably know that I have a book with French swear words and I have been trying to use those instead of the common ones in United States usage that bore me... I was, however, surprised to learn that my beautiful daughter in law already knew some of those French swear words. Tsk Tsk!
My late wife was French Canadian and her family spoke lots of French... however, when they swore, it was American words that they used.
I am going to say something that you probably will not believe.. my late wife of 43 years and I never swore in front of our kids.. and only swore on rare ocassions in each other's presence.. like when hitting a thumb with a hammer.. or when dropping something gooey all over the mail.. but you know that it is the S word that is commonly used on that occasion.
Basta! (no that is not a swear word.. it just means that that is enough of this nonsense!)
01. 2010: I-PHONE Love: A study has found that many people are addicted to their I-PHONES. In fact, they found that many people even sleep with them under their pillows. (Well, you don't want to miss an important call.)
02. 1950: Cremation: A man in Wellington, New Zealand, specified in his will that his body be cremated and the ashes put to work in an hour glass. (Good idea.. he will be serving a purpose even though he is not breathing anymore.)
03. 2010: 3-D: A newspaper in Belgium has put out a newspaper edition in 3D. They even supply the glasses. (The news just jumps out at you.)
04. 1950: Gun Control: Police in Chicago melt down the weapons seized from gangsters and makes them into medals to give to brave crime-fighters. (It's probably more lucrative these days to sell them back to the crooks or export them to formerly peaceful countries.)
05. 2010: Netflix spin-off? A new company has been formed to mail fresh underwear to guys each month. (Do you have to send them back after you have used them for one week? In the 1950's, guys did not wear underwear.)
06. 1950: Teeth: I've seen George Washington's wooden (ivory actually) teeth and a guy in 1950 made a set of false teeth for himself out of pieces of scrap aluminum. (During the 1950's I worked for a time in an aluminum chair factory.. I wasn't very good at the job and lots of my chairs got dumped into a molten aluminum bath to be reformed. Perhaps they could have used my rejects to make sturdy false teeth.)
07. 2010: Drunks Crossing: In some part or Rumania, signs have been put up to warn drivers about drunks who may be staggering across the street. (Deer Crossing signs in the US show a leaping buck.. what is the symbol for the Rumanian drunk?)
08: 1950: Divorce: A man in Milwaukee who lost his wife in a divorce suit, asked the judge to at least award the family dog to him. (Sounds reasonable to me. After all, "a man's best friend is his dog.. but a 5 cent cigar is a smoke.." or something like that.. probably some wisdom from H.L. Mencken that I can't figure out.)
Incidentally, a chiropractor met with our NARFE group yesterday. I mentioned H.L. Mencken's 1927 article in the Baltimore Sun about chiropractic. It didn't seem to bother him at all.. he did say that if you look up "curmudgeon" in the dictionary, you will see a picture of Mencken.
09: 2010: Diet: The French have developed the "air diet".. yes, it's like "air guitar" etc.. Like Marcel Marceau, you pretend you are eating. You make the motions with the empty glasses and plates but no food enters your gullet. This is guaranteed to help you lose weight.
A diet poem I like is:
My soul is dark with stormy riot,
Directly traceable to diet.
Dieting is not easy and no fun. Here are some tips that I have found helpful:
a. Count every calorie that you consume.
b. Put exercise time on your schedule every day.
c. Drink green tea or water before meals.
d. Chew every bite 20 times (or more).
Personally, I don't always observe these tips.. although every calorie I have had since New Year's Day has been recorded. Have I lost weight? I won't know until I go for my next check-up in April.
10. 1950: RIP?: A man in Petersburg, Virginia purchased 2,180 tombstones discarded from a cemetery and built a house with them. (Question: Why were they discarded? Is that the fate of all tombstones? At the Cushing Cemetery in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts, there are headstones and footstones going back to 1810, if not earlier. One would expect these tombstones to be cared for until the sun burns the earth all up, or until cloning gets so good that we will all be recreated, and people live forever so that such stones are no longer of any use.)
11. 2010: Belly dancers: A group of 11 belly dancing teachers and students will be performing for the local AARP Chapter next month. They call themselves Anerneic Magic. I am unable to find the word in any of my dictionaries. (Kind of similar:
aneroid: containing no liquid (maybe they don't drink before performing)
anerly: merely .. Scotch dialect.
an: no with ern/erne: sea eagle (crossword puzzle word) .. (Maybe "no sea eagles" ? After all, these are belly dancers, not birds)
I am alerting the emergency people to stand by for a 911 call if the dancers turn up the heat too much for us old timey dudes. I'll let you know what happened, if I survive. You may know the story of my belly dancer who caused the Social Security Administration to outlaw such folks from entering the premises.. I don't think that will happen at the Elks Lodge in Westminster.
12. 2010: Funny phrases: Elaine mentioned a phrase yesterday in connection with a guy who tried to kill his wife with a hammer. She said: "His ass is grass." and was surprised to learn that I had never heard the phrase before.
Recently, she was amused when I refered to someone I liked as "a hot ticket."
I was surprised to find the phrase "moseying around" in a book about the Civil War.
In my library, I have a book that gives the derivation and usage of slang phrases.. I should try to find it and educate myself.. there are probably lots of swear words that I could be using, but don't know about yet. And you probably know that I have a book with French swear words and I have been trying to use those instead of the common ones in United States usage that bore me... I was, however, surprised to learn that my beautiful daughter in law already knew some of those French swear words. Tsk Tsk!
My late wife was French Canadian and her family spoke lots of French... however, when they swore, it was American words that they used.
I am going to say something that you probably will not believe.. my late wife of 43 years and I never swore in front of our kids.. and only swore on rare ocassions in each other's presence.. like when hitting a thumb with a hammer.. or when dropping something gooey all over the mail.. but you know that it is the S word that is commonly used on that occasion.
Basta! (no that is not a swear word.. it just means that that is enough of this nonsense!)
Thursday, November 12, 2009
A Weird Problem for a .-- . .. .-. -.. Person
I wonder if anyone else has the curse (-.-- ..- .-. ... .) that I have. It's a problem I have had since I learned Morse Code in the Air Force. Ever since then, my mind is always sending or receiving code in the background of my mind. For example, while doing a crossword puzzle today, the clue was: 7 letter word for "chains". Immediately, my mind began coding .-.. . - - . .-. ... (fetters). That code was being generated and transmitted by my brain subconsciously.. and I only realized it when I made an effort to concentrate on what was being transmitted in my head at the time.
When I was going to radio operators school, I had trouble with the Morse Code for "p" and "c", so I began to repeat the code for "percent" in my mind, over and over... (.--. . .-. -.-. . -. -) because of the presence of code for "c" and "p". It worked, I learned those code letters; the repetition caused the code for those letters to no longer be unlearnable... however, this learning aid never stopped generating and continues to generate in my mind when I am not thinking of other things.. even today.. over 50 (!) years later.
Let's see what is generating right now. Based on what I am involved it, it is not generating the usual "percent", but rather -... .-.. --- --. (blog) Let me make this clear.. this generation of Morse Code in my brain is continuous. Something is being coded every minute. Sometimes I even wake up with a "code in my head" ... Although this is a pun...(.--. ..- -.) I am serious about this.
This is a problem for me, but not a big problem. I guess it is like when I was stationed in Germany for almost 4 years.. at the end of that time, I was thinking in German and translating into English in my head. (Yes.. the Morse Code then spelled out German and English words.) So, I guess that Morse Code is like a language that lies in the background of your brain. However, after I got back to the US, in a few weeks I was thinking in English and German was shoved out of sight for a while.
But Morse Code seems to go on forever, generating in the background.
Another language I was a fluent in was French, but it never took over my brain and lies dormant.
So, why does Morse Code refuse to lie dormant, but continues to generate in the background.
Anyway.. if anybody is reading this who has (or had) "the Morse Code in the background" situation, could you let me know how you got rid of it.. if you did.
--. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . (Goodbye)
................................................................................................................
When I was going to radio operators school, I had trouble with the Morse Code for "p" and "c", so I began to repeat the code for "percent" in my mind, over and over... (.--. . .-. -.-. . -. -) because of the presence of code for "c" and "p". It worked, I learned those code letters; the repetition caused the code for those letters to no longer be unlearnable... however, this learning aid never stopped generating and continues to generate in my mind when I am not thinking of other things.. even today.. over 50 (!) years later.
Let's see what is generating right now. Based on what I am involved it, it is not generating the usual "percent", but rather -... .-.. --- --. (blog) Let me make this clear.. this generation of Morse Code in my brain is continuous. Something is being coded every minute. Sometimes I even wake up with a "code in my head" ... Although this is a pun...(.--. ..- -.) I am serious about this.
This is a problem for me, but not a big problem. I guess it is like when I was stationed in Germany for almost 4 years.. at the end of that time, I was thinking in German and translating into English in my head. (Yes.. the Morse Code then spelled out German and English words.) So, I guess that Morse Code is like a language that lies in the background of your brain. However, after I got back to the US, in a few weeks I was thinking in English and German was shoved out of sight for a while.
But Morse Code seems to go on forever, generating in the background.
Another language I was a fluent in was French, but it never took over my brain and lies dormant.
So, why does Morse Code refuse to lie dormant, but continues to generate in the background.
Anyway.. if anybody is reading this who has (or had) "the Morse Code in the background" situation, could you let me know how you got rid of it.. if you did.
--. --- --- -.. -... -.-- . (Goodbye)
................................................................................................................
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