Anxiety

It's a beautiful morning in Maryland.. the sky is blue.. its already nice and warm.. I got up with the sun and sat on my back porch accompanied by our two cats and watched the groundskeepers work to make the golf course grass even more green than it already is. As my grandfather entered his '80s, he remarked each year when Spring arrived: "The grass is greener this year than it ever has been." Although I'm not quite that old, I can understand his observation. As we age, I'm sure that we notice and appreciate everyday things more and more.

Something that I notice this morning but do not appreciate quite as much as some other things, is the pungent odor of the manure that nearby Carroll County farmers are applying to their fields. I don't really dislike the smell, and, of course, an abundance of agricultural produce requires an abundance of manure.

When my family moved into our new home in Gamber, every young boy within five miles suddenly descended upon us to welcome us. (After all, in our family were two beautiful teenage girls.) One of these boys arrived by horse. He noticed that I, as a former city boy, had not the slightest clue about digging a garden. He offered to help me and I'm glad I agreed. A few hours later he and his horse plowed about a quarter of an acre in my back yard. I then provided the seed and his trusty horse provided a wealth of fertilizer. This turned out to be the best garden I ever had and I could join my fellow Carroll County "farmers" in setting up a table in the driveway so that passers by could help themselves to free tomatoes and cucumbers.

What does all this have to do with "anxiety"? It doesn't.. this was just a segue.

As for anxiety? Well.. look at the newpaper.. listen to the radio.. watch TV. Look at these headlines:

Warnings as Swine Flu Virus Spreads.

Helpful Teacher attacked by vicious Squirrel.

Deputy involved in fatal Shooting.

Suspect arrested in Shooting Spree.

Man shot after Attack on Teen.

3 shot, 1 killed in Pittsburgh.

Man charged in Delaware Fires.

2 arrested in Philly Murders.

Police fire Pellets at Kent State Rioters.

Storms pound Midwest.

Va Men hurt in Shooting.

Bomb kills 2 Guards in Kabul.

Professor still at large after Murder of Wife and Others

Five killed in Jersey Turnpike Crash

..... and worse of all: Swiss Voters ban nude Hiking!

What is this world coming to? Don't headlines like this contribute to our feelings of anxiety?

Some of those headlines were on the Internet, some in today's Carroll County Times. The CC Times is a great local paper.. but, being a newspaper, they also have to report news that isn't local. I understand that and also realize that the nice local news in the paper far outweighs the reports of carnage and idiocy that must be reported on. So, even in bucolic Carroll County, we encounter news that causes anxiety.

On today's second hour of the Diane Rehm show (NPR), an author talked with Diane and her thousands of listeners about the types and causes of anxiety and gave some tips on how to cope with it. She has written a book on the subject. I'm not going to tell you her name or the title of her book, so that you can get the pleasure of downloading the archived show to your IPOD or finding out the information by a plug into TWITTER as a fan of the Diane Rehm Show.

The author did mention that suddenly, in Salzburg, Germany, as she looked out the window of a highly located fancy restaurant, she developed a fear of heights. For many years, she could not take an elevator to the tenth floor of a building or higher. She was able to overcome her anxiety by following some of the tips given in her book.

When I entered my thirties, I thought that I was getting too fat. At the time, there was a Maryland doctor who was supposed to be able to help anyone lose weight. There were lines of patients around the block waiting to get to see him and either get shots or pills. I took my place in line and finally got to see him. (He was kind of chubby.. hmm?) Anyway, he gave me some pills to raise my metabolism.. they stimulated me too much, I became a nervous wreck.

So.. he gave me some pills to "take me down" (do you see the early mention of "uppers" and "downers"?) .. they took me "down" too far, so he gave me more "uppers", then more "downers".. etc etc. After a while, I did not know what way was "up" or "down" and my wife had to take me to the Emergency Room. They were able to "purge" my system and I was told that without pills I would be able to be normal again. (BTW, the doctor eventually was disbarred and disgraced.)

In recouperating from this medication, I had to endure a few weeks of "anxiety". I was not able to drive; when I went into a room, a door or a window had to be open; I was afraid to meet new people; I walked and talked like a zombie. I would never want to go through that again.

After a couple of weeks, to ensure that I had flushed all of the "anxiety" out of my body along with those diet pills, my GP ordered me to talk to a psychiatrist, a nice old man who was very much interested in parts of my life that I did not really want to talk about. I met with him four or five times and gave him lots of money.. I don't think I learned anything about myself that I didn't already know, but I did get one piece of insight from him that has sustained me through the problems and bad situations affecting me and my family over the years.

That insight was (as Saint Theresa is supposed to have said): This too shall pass!

And it does.