Tests

Do you like to do tests? I do, and thanks in part to my Grandfather's coaching, I'm pretty good at them. Puzzles and tests.. they are a lot alike. Most Americans took an IQ test when they were in the 4th grade. Lots of companies give IQ-like tests before hiring employees. I've mentioned before that I was tested for my Social Security Administration job in Baltimore by being asked two questions: What do you think of the Orioles? What do you think of the Colts? Luckily, I liked birds and horses and they hired me.

When I tell this, people start to say "that's just like the Government!" And then I have to confess that in order to have the Social Security job, I also had to pass the FSEE (Federal Service Entrance Examination) and the O+M test. The O+M test (Organization and Management) was a tough test in which you were given theoretical problem situations and asked what you would do in such situations. The test was very easy for me once I had this "brain storm". Who was the top manager in the US? Of course, it was the President, and at that time it was Lyndon Johnson. So, all I had to do was ask myself "What would LBJ do in this situation?" That was the answer I chose, and I "Ace'd" the test.

Prior to getting the Social Security job, I tested for several other Government jobs. One test was called the "Foreign Service Entrance Examination". It consisted of several parts. I passed the general test, the French language test and the German test, but I completely screwed up the Geography test. This was a test where you were shown a map where the wording had been removed. You were supposed to figure out what part of the world the map represented. I had no clue. But, as I looked around the room I noticed that my fellow test takers were busily filling in their answers, without my look of panic on any of the faces. I later found out that some frat houses at Yale and Harvard conducted classes on these types of tests. This is, of course, perfectly legal.. I just was too dumb to find out what type of questions were going to be used on the test.

A similar test was given for the Secret Service. I passed all parts of the test and was told I had the job if I answered just one vital question. "Are you ashamed of any job you have ever had?" Like a jerk, I told them about one of the jobs I had while attending Boston University. I did telemarketing phone calls and talked some people into paying for entertainment that they probably didn't need and couldn't afford. I only had the job for a short time and got disgusted and quit. The Secret Service guys said that this was enough to disqualify me for the job.

Prior to my senior year at Boston University, I took a test for NSA (National Security Agency). I passed it and the interviewer said that the job was mine. When I asked if I could finish my degree work, he was surprized and thought that I had already graduated. However, he gave me his official NSA card and told me to call him on the day that I graduated and the job would be waiting for me. Accordingly, on the day that I graduated, I called the number on the card and asked to talk to him. "Nobody by that name works here." No matter what I did, I could not find anyone who had a record of my having been tested, interviewed, or promised a job. This was very disappointing to me because the type of work that NSA does is the type of work I had been trained to do.

IQ testing has also played an important part in my life and I would like to talk about that subject in another blog because what I say may shock you a bit.