Even though we are overwhelmed with sadness over the loss of life in Haiti and are doing what we can to alleviate the suffering there, we still need a slight break to think about some humorous (perhaps) or at least weird things that could be learned this week from various news sources. Let's see if I can come up with one dozen.
(Incidentally, I will be interviewed by a newspaper reporter shortly about this blog and others that I write. .. actually, everything I do since I lost 3 or 4 inches in height is done "shortly".)
01. It has been determined that hamsters who imbibe alcohol suffer hangovers the next morning. (It might be better to feed them marijuana instead...?)
02. Analyst Jose Grenado has written about some things that we have suspected for a while:
a. Googling sharpens the mind. (What about FB and Twitter?)
b. Swearing helps you alleviate pain. (What did I tell you, Elaine)
c. Doodling while in a meeting helps you keep up your interest in what is being said.
03. Water has been found on the moon. (What about the cheese that my nursery rhymes talked about?)
04. Andre the Giant once drank 106 beers in a six hour period.
05. Sarah Palin was asked once more which "founding father" was her favorite. Once again she answered: "All of them."
06. An 8-year old cub scout who travels frequently by plane, has been frisked every time since he was 2 years old. Apparently, his name matches one on the security risk list.
07. Nevada now allows male prostitution. (At least, they have made it legal.)
08. A tall cross is about to be built for a Florida church by a communications company. It will double as a cell phone tower.
09. There is a fight for the Massachusetts Senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy. Scott Brown, one of the candidates once posed naked as a Cosmopolitan centerfold, at least that was what I heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and they have never lied to me before.
10. The clever Dutch have created meat using cells from a live pig.
11. A British man solved the Rubik's Cube after 26 years of trying. (When they first came out, I handed one to my son to look at. He handed it back to me in 5 minutes, solved. He's got good genes!)
12. A Polish woman is suing a hotel for causing her daughter to get pregnant while swimming in their pool. She is blaming the pregnancy on stray sperm floating in the water.
Please remember that I do not vouch for any of the items above.. I'm sure some of them are true. For more information, you can "google".. and "googling" helps your brain, as Jose G. says.
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Showing posts with label Google. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Google. Show all posts
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wednesday, August 05, 2009
The 100th Blog.. actually.
This is actually my 100th blog entry. Four of them were duds, so even though it says 104, it really is 100. And there is something magical about the 100th blog. Google suddenly thinks that now the blog is serious. So I guess I have to be serious today.
Earlier tonight, I heard Elaine remarking about the letters to the editor for a couple of the latest Carroll County Times (Westminster, Maryland). She couldn't believe that the newspaper would print some of these letters. I read the letters and agreed with her. It must have been a slow day for letters.
However, we did think that not everything on the "Opinion" pages was like the letters. So, if you don't mind, I will comment on everything that is printed there, and you can decide if you like any of the material.
For August 4th, 2009:
01. The editor remarked that according to a recent poll, two-thirds of Americans don't know what the three branches of Government are. This is a startling statistic. Don't all American children learn about the three branches in school? New citizens all know that. Most foreigners know that.
I would have thought that only the college kids on the Leno Show didn't know that.
The editor does see a change in the statistic, at least in Carroll County, because of a recent increase in Town Meetings.
02. Some people don't believe that Global Warming is happening, so Tom Harbold, a columnist, asks some excellent penetrating questions about it.
a. Why has the Northwest Passage opened for the first time since the Vikings?
b. Why has the polar ice cap shrunk by 2 million square miles?
c. Why are Alpine nations having to spread reflective sheeting on their ski slopes to limit snow melt.
d. Why have glaciers in Glacier National Park dropped from 150 in 1850 to 26 now?
Something seems to be happening, guys.
03. A letter writer is mad that President Obama apologized for some dumb things the U.S. has done in the past. He accuses the President of bringing Socialism to the U.S. (It sounds to me as though he has no idea even what Socialism is.) He hopes that the President is voted out of office. (Wouldn't it be better to hope that the President succeeds in office? Why all this negativity? I'm sure it is not a racial thing.. at least I hope not.)
04. A letter writer is mad because the President was never a governor or an executive.. and never served in the House of Representatives or served in the military. (Perhaps the writer should read his history about other Presidents.) However, he does say that we should all pray for the President. I'm not sure, but I think he also doesn't like homosexuals.. but he has read something called the "Gay Manifesto".. I've never heard of it. Sounds like a phony document.
05. Another letter writer feels that America, like Nineveh, has severely violated God's law. Abortion, sexual immorality, same-sex marriage, sinful behavior being taught in school, violence in the streets... all of these things would normally cause God to destroy us.. but maybe, if we play our cards right, we will be redeemed by faith.
For August 5th, 2009:
01. Tom Zirpoli, columnist, feels that Americans should be watching the upcoming Afghan election because the outcome will have a significant impact on American foreign policy in the region. This is a well thought-out piece of analysis in my opinion. (The last election had a turnout similar to that of the U. S.; however, U.S. voters did not have to worry about bombs along the way to the polls like the Afghan people did. Think about that!)
02. The editor of the paper wrote that "Cash for Clunkers" money should be increased, and lambasts the Republicans who are fighting it. He takes a great chance of subscription cancelations in this Republican County. We'll see.
03. A letter writer laments the fact that Insurance Companies are using scare tactics to fight against Health Care Reform. He makes the main good points: "We are the only industrialized country in the world that doesn't have universal health care," and "there are...47 million Americans who have no insurance at all because they can't afford it."
04. Another letter writer was grossed out by the anti-abortion protesters who were showing giant colored posters of aborted fetuses on the sides of Route 27. She did not feel good that her child had seen the pictures.
05. There was agreat cartoon of an elderly couple at a dating service. The wife is saying to the receptionist: "I'd like to trade him in under the "cash for clunkers" program.
There... we've got it all out of our systems.
Earlier tonight, I heard Elaine remarking about the letters to the editor for a couple of the latest Carroll County Times (Westminster, Maryland). She couldn't believe that the newspaper would print some of these letters. I read the letters and agreed with her. It must have been a slow day for letters.
However, we did think that not everything on the "Opinion" pages was like the letters. So, if you don't mind, I will comment on everything that is printed there, and you can decide if you like any of the material.
For August 4th, 2009:
01. The editor remarked that according to a recent poll, two-thirds of Americans don't know what the three branches of Government are. This is a startling statistic. Don't all American children learn about the three branches in school? New citizens all know that. Most foreigners know that.
I would have thought that only the college kids on the Leno Show didn't know that.
The editor does see a change in the statistic, at least in Carroll County, because of a recent increase in Town Meetings.
02. Some people don't believe that Global Warming is happening, so Tom Harbold, a columnist, asks some excellent penetrating questions about it.
a. Why has the Northwest Passage opened for the first time since the Vikings?
b. Why has the polar ice cap shrunk by 2 million square miles?
c. Why are Alpine nations having to spread reflective sheeting on their ski slopes to limit snow melt.
d. Why have glaciers in Glacier National Park dropped from 150 in 1850 to 26 now?
Something seems to be happening, guys.
03. A letter writer is mad that President Obama apologized for some dumb things the U.S. has done in the past. He accuses the President of bringing Socialism to the U.S. (It sounds to me as though he has no idea even what Socialism is.) He hopes that the President is voted out of office. (Wouldn't it be better to hope that the President succeeds in office? Why all this negativity? I'm sure it is not a racial thing.. at least I hope not.)
04. A letter writer is mad because the President was never a governor or an executive.. and never served in the House of Representatives or served in the military. (Perhaps the writer should read his history about other Presidents.) However, he does say that we should all pray for the President. I'm not sure, but I think he also doesn't like homosexuals.. but he has read something called the "Gay Manifesto".. I've never heard of it. Sounds like a phony document.
05. Another letter writer feels that America, like Nineveh, has severely violated God's law. Abortion, sexual immorality, same-sex marriage, sinful behavior being taught in school, violence in the streets... all of these things would normally cause God to destroy us.. but maybe, if we play our cards right, we will be redeemed by faith.
For August 5th, 2009:
01. Tom Zirpoli, columnist, feels that Americans should be watching the upcoming Afghan election because the outcome will have a significant impact on American foreign policy in the region. This is a well thought-out piece of analysis in my opinion. (The last election had a turnout similar to that of the U. S.; however, U.S. voters did not have to worry about bombs along the way to the polls like the Afghan people did. Think about that!)
02. The editor of the paper wrote that "Cash for Clunkers" money should be increased, and lambasts the Republicans who are fighting it. He takes a great chance of subscription cancelations in this Republican County. We'll see.
03. A letter writer laments the fact that Insurance Companies are using scare tactics to fight against Health Care Reform. He makes the main good points: "We are the only industrialized country in the world that doesn't have universal health care," and "there are...47 million Americans who have no insurance at all because they can't afford it."
04. Another letter writer was grossed out by the anti-abortion protesters who were showing giant colored posters of aborted fetuses on the sides of Route 27. She did not feel good that her child had seen the pictures.
05. There was agreat cartoon of an elderly couple at a dating service. The wife is saying to the receptionist: "I'd like to trade him in under the "cash for clunkers" program.
There... we've got it all out of our systems.
Tuesday, April 07, 2009
Crazy News
There are a number of news stories today that make me think that the world has gone mad. Let me mention just a few of them. (Since I'm not privy to the actual facts and am just reading these stories in magazines or newspapers, I may be reporting on erroneous or misleading items in those media.) But anyway, here goes:
1. The Justice Department has said that they will drop corruption charges against former Alaskan Senator, Ted Stevens, because of prosecutorial misconduct. Huh? Was the whole thing a ploy to get the old-timer out of the Senate?
2.The Principal of Peabody High School in Massachusetts has shut down the students' monthly ice cream socials because everybody knows that ice cream is not good for you.
3. North Korea claims that it launched a satellite that is broadcasting communistic slogans. The world has yet to be able to tune in to this program.
4. A woman in Maryland walked into the propeller of an airplane. I wonder why.
5. In Pittsburgh, three policemen were killed when they responded to a 911 call for help in a fight between a woman and her son over a dog urinating in the house.
6. In Georgia, a jail inmate escaped, stole a lot of cigarettes, and then tried to break back into the jail.
7. A 79 year old Florida woman recieved a "priority" invitation to join the U.S. Marines.
8. A British chicken farmer has urged consumers to buy "medium" eggs, because he says it is painful for chickens to lay larger eggs.
9. A Pennsylvania man tried to do a hold-up at a convention of police officers.
10. Ex-President George W. Bush plans to give 10 speeches this year "to make some money".
11. A study has found that fidgeting kids are not being inattentive, they are just trying to stay focused. Parents are urged not to nag kids to "sit still" anymore.
12. Residents of Broughton in Southern England formed a human chain to turn away a car full of people shooting pictures for Google Street View.
13. A measure sponsored by Senator John Ensign of Nevada would repeal DC's strict gun registration requirements and its restrictions on semi-automatic weapons.
14. The father of a son who beat his mother to death in Maryland said that except for that one act, every man would be glad to have him as a son.
Enough!
1. The Justice Department has said that they will drop corruption charges against former Alaskan Senator, Ted Stevens, because of prosecutorial misconduct. Huh? Was the whole thing a ploy to get the old-timer out of the Senate?
2.The Principal of Peabody High School in Massachusetts has shut down the students' monthly ice cream socials because everybody knows that ice cream is not good for you.
3. North Korea claims that it launched a satellite that is broadcasting communistic slogans. The world has yet to be able to tune in to this program.
4. A woman in Maryland walked into the propeller of an airplane. I wonder why.
5. In Pittsburgh, three policemen were killed when they responded to a 911 call for help in a fight between a woman and her son over a dog urinating in the house.
6. In Georgia, a jail inmate escaped, stole a lot of cigarettes, and then tried to break back into the jail.
7. A 79 year old Florida woman recieved a "priority" invitation to join the U.S. Marines.
8. A British chicken farmer has urged consumers to buy "medium" eggs, because he says it is painful for chickens to lay larger eggs.
9. A Pennsylvania man tried to do a hold-up at a convention of police officers.
10. Ex-President George W. Bush plans to give 10 speeches this year "to make some money".
11. A study has found that fidgeting kids are not being inattentive, they are just trying to stay focused. Parents are urged not to nag kids to "sit still" anymore.
12. Residents of Broughton in Southern England formed a human chain to turn away a car full of people shooting pictures for Google Street View.
13. A measure sponsored by Senator John Ensign of Nevada would repeal DC's strict gun registration requirements and its restrictions on semi-automatic weapons.
14. The father of a son who beat his mother to death in Maryland said that except for that one act, every man would be glad to have him as a son.
Enough!
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