Even though this was another hot and muggy week, with violent thunder storms, it was a "cool" week for the Social Security Alumni Association in Maryland.
A nice group met at Bullock's Rt 32 for the Carroll County Social Security Alumni Chapter on Monday.
A larger than usual group met at the Windsor Inn for the Baltimore Chapter on Tuesday.
On Thursday, I represented the Social Security Alumni Association as its President for the opening of the Social Security Museum and the festivities for the 75th Anniversary of the Social Security Act. I'll be writing about this in my SSAA Blog.
Meanwhile, let me mention a few "interesting" things that I heard or read about recently.
01. By the book: Efficient New York City traffic workers would not allow a King Tut's tomb artifact, namely, an ancient vehicle, to enter the city.. because.. it did not have a "vehicle identification number."
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyid=128973450
02. A lot to learn: Researchers say that we have 250,000 known species and another 1,000,000 unknown species in the world's oceans. (Not counting the one billion unknown bacteria species.) The richest areas to look for these unknown non-bacteria species are thought to be around Australia and Japan, and many species probably live in mud or on reefs.
A recently found "unknown" is called a "Dragon Fish" which has teeth on it's tongue.
03. That little squirt! A 28 year old Maryland resident has finally been caught after squirting sperm on several persons in Gaithersburg grocery stores and malls. Maybe he thinks he's an unknown species of fish.
04. Methuselah? A global warming expert stated this week: "...a rate of (animal) extinction that we haven't seen for millions and millions of years." Does he have a Hubble-type telescope with very close resolution?
05. Another opportunity for short people. The French Gendarmerie (police) have started to hire people under 5'3". Was this a change because they wanted to hire more females.. although in the US, females seem to be usually taller than that these days. Or, maybe it is another boon to short people that has been pushed by Sarkozy?
I've mentioned before.. researchers have determined that Napoleon might have been 5'6"... the same height of Stalin, Hitler and Mussolini.
By the way, new documents have been found in Scotland that indicate in 1919 a Scotsman saved a young Hitler from being stomped to death by a mob. !
06. Sarah quote: I hadn't heard about this one until I read it this week. "When are they going to ramp up drilling?" Did she really say that? Was it before the BP spill?
07. Mad man? The advertising guy who gave us "Don't squeeze the Charmin" is now pushing for "Meatless Mondays". He feels that it will be a healthful move for our obese society. I believe he has already gotten Johns Hopkins University interested in the concept, and some Baltimore schools are removing meat from their menus for Mondays.
http://www.meatlessmonday.com/
08. Brains. Someone showed me an article from 2008 that mentioned that two pygmy sperm whales got caught up in a low water pool in New Zealand and couldn't figure out how to get out of it... before they could become beached, a local bottlenose dolphin, named Moko, found a deep water part of the pool and guided the whales through it and out into deep water.
09. Scandinavian criminals? JAMA, the journal of the American Medical Association has an article about common sense sunbathing that tries to show that blonds and people from northern countries with minimal sun may develop criminal tendencies when they move to high sun areas. Since I am not an MD, I may have misread the article.
10. Self-mutilation: Some of you may have seen a picture of Elaine Davidson who is reputed to be "the most pierced woman in Scotland"... and from the looks of it, probably the world. Check it out.
http://www.elainedavidson.co.uk/
11. Seinfeld? A piece of the Peterman Glacier broke off this week. It is four times the size of Manhattan. Doesn't that add any credence to the Global Warming theory? How many ice cubes would that make? Perhaps one of the Arab leaders could get it towed to their land.. wasn't that done once before? Or did I read that in a story by Mark Twain?
http://open.salon.com/blog/rick_spilman/2010/08/07/huge_ice_island_calves_from_greenlands_peterman_glacier
12. Not Here! The Museum of Tolerance has stated that they do not want the Ground Zero mosque to be built.
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Showing posts with label Sarah Palin. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Sarah Palin. Show all posts
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Conversation
One of my favorite movies: The Wrong Box has an elderly character who likes to share facts with anyone who is nearby. At one point in the movie, he gets a chance to ride on a horse-drawn wagon for an hour, seated next to the driver.
As they enter the town, he breaks off his monologue and tells the driver that he would now be able to disembark. The driver, clearly battered and worn from his rider's incessant chatter, says: "Oh, would you?" (with an implied PLEASE!)
So it is with blogs. The good thing though, is that one can avoid visiting the site or one can block the writer's entries, at least on Facebook.
With that bit of off-hand advice, I will continue with my blog entry.
01. Death of another Icon: Dan Shorr passed away at 93 on Friday. I didn't always agree with his actions, but usually I agreed with his commentary. Besides, anyone on Nixon's Enemies List has to be someone I admire.
02. Hate Groups. The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) says that they are now tracking 23 organized extremist groups in Maryland. They also state that there are 1,753 active extremist groups in the U.S. Anti-immigrant groups have grown astronomically recently.
Let me ask one question related to immigration: If suddenly all illegal aliens were kicked out, who would pick our fruit and vegetables, clean the toilets in our fast food joints, or watch the children of our elected officials?
03. Gun control: Comic, Chris Rock says he has the solution to the "bearing arms" issue. "Bullets should cost $3,000 each." That way, only serious hunters would have them..and children and crooks might be deterred. What do you think?
04. Bliss. Jeremy Quinn, Mensan, says: "The beautiful thing about marriage is that you can wear your old, discolored shirt in front of her when it would embarass you no end should anyone else witness it."
05. Harvard grads? Massachusetts put out a list of the top 1,000 State tourist attractions.. but the list only showed 996 places, and some of them don't exist. (I'll have to look for New Bedford entries. A few years ago, I compiled my own list of about 100 places to go and things to do in the geater NB area. I would be glad to share it.)
06. Nature's Bounty. Last year, we discovered the Earthbox and grew lots of vegetables on our back deck. This year, we bought three more and are enjoying lots of delicious home-grown veggies, such as giant zuchini, giant cucumbers, tomatoes of all kinds, patti-pan squash, .. and even corn!
(Google Earthbox)
07. Toastmasters take note: Shakespeare wrote 31,959 speeches! (Could Bacon have done that?)
08. Mushrooms: The Crystal Falls, Michigan Humungus Fungus Fest will be held in August. I believe that they make a 10' x 10' mushroom pizza. (Is it true that there is a mushroom growing on 37 acres underground..that is 1,500 years old?)
http://www.humungusfungusfest.com/
09. Sarah sez: New word.. refudiate. Is this related to Elmer Fudd's dislike of Bugs?
10. The Bard: Sarah said that Shakespeare made up new words all the time..when he wasn't writing thousands of speeches. Mensa has a Special Interest Group (SIG) for Shakespeare lovers.. it's called Bardolatry and can be found on Facebook.
11. Jobs: Maybe we should move to Bell, California. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me reports that the Bell City Manager is paid $787,000 and it's Police Chief is paid $457,000. I wonder what the salaries are for L.A., which probably has a rather larger population?
12. Burning Question: Is this the year twenty ten, two thousand ten, or two thousand and ten? (Answer, from Mensan Richard Lederer.. "twenty ten ... saves five letters, one syllable, and one word." I know, you are wondering why us guys with genius IQ's are spending time on this subject. I wonder too.)
..................................................................................................................................
As they enter the town, he breaks off his monologue and tells the driver that he would now be able to disembark. The driver, clearly battered and worn from his rider's incessant chatter, says: "Oh, would you?" (with an implied PLEASE!)
So it is with blogs. The good thing though, is that one can avoid visiting the site or one can block the writer's entries, at least on Facebook.
With that bit of off-hand advice, I will continue with my blog entry.
01. Death of another Icon: Dan Shorr passed away at 93 on Friday. I didn't always agree with his actions, but usually I agreed with his commentary. Besides, anyone on Nixon's Enemies List has to be someone I admire.
02. Hate Groups. The Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) says that they are now tracking 23 organized extremist groups in Maryland. They also state that there are 1,753 active extremist groups in the U.S. Anti-immigrant groups have grown astronomically recently.
Let me ask one question related to immigration: If suddenly all illegal aliens were kicked out, who would pick our fruit and vegetables, clean the toilets in our fast food joints, or watch the children of our elected officials?
03. Gun control: Comic, Chris Rock says he has the solution to the "bearing arms" issue. "Bullets should cost $3,000 each." That way, only serious hunters would have them..and children and crooks might be deterred. What do you think?
04. Bliss. Jeremy Quinn, Mensan, says: "The beautiful thing about marriage is that you can wear your old, discolored shirt in front of her when it would embarass you no end should anyone else witness it."
05. Harvard grads? Massachusetts put out a list of the top 1,000 State tourist attractions.. but the list only showed 996 places, and some of them don't exist. (I'll have to look for New Bedford entries. A few years ago, I compiled my own list of about 100 places to go and things to do in the geater NB area. I would be glad to share it.)
06. Nature's Bounty. Last year, we discovered the Earthbox and grew lots of vegetables on our back deck. This year, we bought three more and are enjoying lots of delicious home-grown veggies, such as giant zuchini, giant cucumbers, tomatoes of all kinds, patti-pan squash, .. and even corn!
(Google Earthbox)
07. Toastmasters take note: Shakespeare wrote 31,959 speeches! (Could Bacon have done that?)
08. Mushrooms: The Crystal Falls, Michigan Humungus Fungus Fest will be held in August. I believe that they make a 10' x 10' mushroom pizza. (Is it true that there is a mushroom growing on 37 acres underground..that is 1,500 years old?)
http://www.humungusfungusfest.com/
09. Sarah sez: New word.. refudiate. Is this related to Elmer Fudd's dislike of Bugs?
10. The Bard: Sarah said that Shakespeare made up new words all the time..when he wasn't writing thousands of speeches. Mensa has a Special Interest Group (SIG) for Shakespeare lovers.. it's called Bardolatry and can be found on Facebook.
11. Jobs: Maybe we should move to Bell, California. Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me reports that the Bell City Manager is paid $787,000 and it's Police Chief is paid $457,000. I wonder what the salaries are for L.A., which probably has a rather larger population?
12. Burning Question: Is this the year twenty ten, two thousand ten, or two thousand and ten? (Answer, from Mensan Richard Lederer.. "twenty ten ... saves five letters, one syllable, and one word." I know, you are wondering why us guys with genius IQ's are spending time on this subject. I wonder too.)
..................................................................................................................................
Sunday, May 09, 2010
Dozen on May 9th 2010
It looks like it will be a beautiful cool and pleasant Mother's Day.
Today, I would like to talk about several things, including eyeballs, monkeys, coyotes, and money. (My goal with these blogs is to make your mind jump.)
01. Eyeballs: (If you don't want to get "grossed out", jump to item #02.) As you may have read here, I have developed macular degeneration (AMD) in my right eye and "see things as though through a glass darkly" with that eye. There are two kinds of AMD, dry and wet. Wet AMD means that new blood vessels are growing in your eye and they are leaking and covering a lot of visual area. I just found out that my AMD has developed into the wet kind and I have to get it treated quickly or my vision will get quite worse in that eye.
Treatment consists of injections of a healing substance (are your ready?) into the eyeball! As you can imagine.. this is not pleasant.. but necessary. So, I am writing this to suggest that, whatever your age, make sure that you visit an opthalmologist (a medical doctor, not just a lens maker guy) at least once each year to make sure you are not developing AMD or glaucoma. These conditions are usually, but not always, conditions for aging people. Also, AMD is hereditary. (Thanks for listening.)
02. Monkey business: Nebraska Zoo personnel were amazed to keep finding that their five orangatangs had escaped from their enclosure. The only way out was through a locked door. After a lot of investigation, they found that the boss orang (Fu Manchu) had secreted a 4" piece of wire around his teeth and was using it to pick the door's lock! And all these years I was congratulating myself for being able to pick locks with a paper clip.
03. Aliens again: The leader of one of the former Soviet Republics says that he was abducted by space aliens and was given a tour of their spaceship. Russian officials are investigating to find out if he gave them any state secrets.
Reminds me of the technician I worked with in Germany who reported that his wife would ask him questions every night when she thought he was asleep, trying to learn all about our secret radar installations.
04. Money talks: I'm amazed that our stock market computer systems are so fragile that they could be messed up by some guy typing "billion" for "million." You know, that somewhere, another guy is working up a plan to do the same thing in order to make himself a fast buck.
05. Coyotes: I've just learned that coyotes suddenly appeared on Cape Cod in the late 1970's. In order to do so, they would have had to swim the Cape Cod Canal or scurry across a long bridge.
06. Chinese English: Chinglish? Wait, Wait reports that some Chinese cities are trying to clean up their English signs that have been mis-translated: one can get an idea about that by reading instruction manuals for China-made items.
Reminds me of two stories:
A New York socialite always wore a Chinese coin around her neck as a necklace. She always wondered what the chinese characters on the coin meant. One day, she asked the Chinese ambassador who was attending one of her soirees. He did not want to reply, but she insisted. The coin read: Admit one to the Hong Kong brothel.
An English-Russian translation program translated the following phrase:
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
It came out: The vodka is pretty good, but the meat is rancid.
07. Modesty: I've heard that the Virginia Attorney General is trying to get the State Seal cleaned up. He wants to put a cover on the bare breast of the Spirit of Virtue. Someone suggested that he might next try to change the State name to Ia.
08. Sarah: New phrase to take the place of "Drill, baby, drill" .. "Spill, baby, spill"
09. Lung cancer: The other day, I counted 15 people in one city block who were smoking as they walked along. The very high price of cigarettes and risk of lung cancer obviously hasn't bothered them. But (t) one doesn't see so many cigarette butts anymore; they must be smoking them way down because of the cost.
Remember the sign that used to be in men's rooms? "Please don't throw cigarette butts in the urinals; it makes them soggy and hard to light."
Remember the phrase? "Many man smoke, but Fu Man Chu."
Remember Charlie Chan? Great movies. Get them on NetFlix.
10. Tight Quarters: Females will now be allowed to serve on submarines. Some of the atomic subs can stay submerged under the North Pole ice for months. Hey, what's the worst that could happen?
11. Schatzgeliebte! The Germans have developed a spray that makes men want to "cuddle". Does it last for four hours?
12. A match made in Heaven? Scientists have now determined that Neandertals (cave men) mated with Homo Sapiens (us guys) at some time in the deep dark past. (Geico could have told them that already.)
........................................................................................................
Today, I would like to talk about several things, including eyeballs, monkeys, coyotes, and money. (My goal with these blogs is to make your mind jump.)
01. Eyeballs: (If you don't want to get "grossed out", jump to item #02.) As you may have read here, I have developed macular degeneration (AMD) in my right eye and "see things as though through a glass darkly" with that eye. There are two kinds of AMD, dry and wet. Wet AMD means that new blood vessels are growing in your eye and they are leaking and covering a lot of visual area. I just found out that my AMD has developed into the wet kind and I have to get it treated quickly or my vision will get quite worse in that eye.
Treatment consists of injections of a healing substance (are your ready?) into the eyeball! As you can imagine.. this is not pleasant.. but necessary. So, I am writing this to suggest that, whatever your age, make sure that you visit an opthalmologist (a medical doctor, not just a lens maker guy) at least once each year to make sure you are not developing AMD or glaucoma. These conditions are usually, but not always, conditions for aging people. Also, AMD is hereditary. (Thanks for listening.)
02. Monkey business: Nebraska Zoo personnel were amazed to keep finding that their five orangatangs had escaped from their enclosure. The only way out was through a locked door. After a lot of investigation, they found that the boss orang (Fu Manchu) had secreted a 4" piece of wire around his teeth and was using it to pick the door's lock! And all these years I was congratulating myself for being able to pick locks with a paper clip.
03. Aliens again: The leader of one of the former Soviet Republics says that he was abducted by space aliens and was given a tour of their spaceship. Russian officials are investigating to find out if he gave them any state secrets.
Reminds me of the technician I worked with in Germany who reported that his wife would ask him questions every night when she thought he was asleep, trying to learn all about our secret radar installations.
04. Money talks: I'm amazed that our stock market computer systems are so fragile that they could be messed up by some guy typing "billion" for "million." You know, that somewhere, another guy is working up a plan to do the same thing in order to make himself a fast buck.
05. Coyotes: I've just learned that coyotes suddenly appeared on Cape Cod in the late 1970's. In order to do so, they would have had to swim the Cape Cod Canal or scurry across a long bridge.
06. Chinese English: Chinglish? Wait, Wait reports that some Chinese cities are trying to clean up their English signs that have been mis-translated: one can get an idea about that by reading instruction manuals for China-made items.
Reminds me of two stories:
A New York socialite always wore a Chinese coin around her neck as a necklace. She always wondered what the chinese characters on the coin meant. One day, she asked the Chinese ambassador who was attending one of her soirees. He did not want to reply, but she insisted. The coin read: Admit one to the Hong Kong brothel.
An English-Russian translation program translated the following phrase:
The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak.
It came out: The vodka is pretty good, but the meat is rancid.
07. Modesty: I've heard that the Virginia Attorney General is trying to get the State Seal cleaned up. He wants to put a cover on the bare breast of the Spirit of Virtue. Someone suggested that he might next try to change the State name to Ia.
08. Sarah: New phrase to take the place of "Drill, baby, drill" .. "Spill, baby, spill"
09. Lung cancer: The other day, I counted 15 people in one city block who were smoking as they walked along. The very high price of cigarettes and risk of lung cancer obviously hasn't bothered them. But (t) one doesn't see so many cigarette butts anymore; they must be smoking them way down because of the cost.
Remember the sign that used to be in men's rooms? "Please don't throw cigarette butts in the urinals; it makes them soggy and hard to light."
Remember the phrase? "Many man smoke, but Fu Man Chu."
Remember Charlie Chan? Great movies. Get them on NetFlix.
10. Tight Quarters: Females will now be allowed to serve on submarines. Some of the atomic subs can stay submerged under the North Pole ice for months. Hey, what's the worst that could happen?
11. Schatzgeliebte! The Germans have developed a spray that makes men want to "cuddle". Does it last for four hours?
12. A match made in Heaven? Scientists have now determined that Neandertals (cave men) mated with Homo Sapiens (us guys) at some time in the deep dark past. (Geico could have told them that already.)
........................................................................................................
Saturday, April 17, 2010
News, etc on April 17, 2010
This has been an interesting week. Let me tell you about puzzledom, funeraldom, and weird newsdom. (In between times, I have to interupt to hear La Traviata from the Met on WBJC.)
01. Puzzles:
Yesterday, I got a chance to give a presentation on puzzling to the last class of folks who are trying to learn to increase their brain power in order to live a longer and more interesting life. I had an ulterior motive in giving this presentation; I wanted to start a puzzle club in the complex where I live. I spoke to them about:
The National Puzzlers League (NPL). As a puzzler, I am known as AHAB.. my brother, Joe, is known as Ishmael. Joe is an expert on the charade types of puzzles, among others. I kind of like crosswords and cryptograms the most.
The American Cryptogram Association (ACA). Codes and ciphers. As AHAB, I used to contribute to the monthly magazine.
American Crosswords.. where to find the first one, and how to follow them through to the current day. There have been a number of popular changes.
The crosswords in the Sunday Baltimore Sun, including the LA Times puzzle and the New York Times puzzle. I mentioned the difficulty of the NY Times puzzle which gets tougher as the week goes on.
I talked about the folks who produce these puzzles, especially Will Shortz, who is probably the United States premier puzzle-master.
I also covered French, German, Spanish, Dutch and British puzzles, including those difficult, for Americans, British cryptics.
I showed the group some reference material that helps professional puzzlers, including regular crossword dictionaries, backwards dictionaries, anagram dictionaries, non-pattern word lists, and lists for words of specific lengths.
At the end, I showed them one of the largest crossword puzzles ever created.
All in all, I enjoyed myself doing this presentation; however, I probably bombarded (bored) them with too much information. I do hope that a couple of them will sign up for the puzzle club.
02. Funeral stuff.
Yesterday, a monstrous and mysterious 90-foot long black van showed up at our complex. Inside was an extensive display of funeral information, including a model of the funeral train of Abraham Lincoln, a copy of Lincoln's coffin, and lots of information about deceased celebrities, such as Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, and others. One display stated that retired military folks at the Colonel Level or above, are entitled to have a saddled horse in a funeral procession with boots inserted backwards in the stirrups. Since my military equivalent rank for my job at Social Security was Colonel, I wonder if I should sign up for such an honor. ;0)
Of course, I would have to let my son put non-skid treads for the horse on the ice-floe that he is going to get for me.
03. Sarah:
I read where Sarah Palin is going to do an environmental program about Alaska for the Discovery Channel. I believe that she will be earning over a million dollars for this effort. Somehow, I did not know that Sarah had a friendly relationship with her environment, especially as it relates to wolves and forest reserves.
04. Blind porn?
A new Canadian magazine is being published for blind folks. It will have Braille articles and some kind of 3-D representations of naked folks. Now I will have something to look forward to as my Macular Degeneration gets worse.
05. In Sheep's Clothing?
A couple of South American prisoners escaped and were found hiding under sheep skin in a pasture. Someone mentioned that they were "on the lam" for a little while.
06. Mazel Tov.
A man in Connecticut wore a bright blue yarmulke as he robbed a bank.
07. Male Vanity:
The latest boon to male beauty: Nose Waxing.
Speaking of male vanity: In one episode of Star Trek, Captain Kirk changes into a woman, and even though he still looks like a man, every time he goes by a pane of glass, he checks himself out.
Yesterday, at WalMart, I spotted a young man with many piercings. As I was trying to count them, he passed by a glass case, checked himself out, and primpted a bit. He did it again when he passed another glass case. I wish that I had the nerve to tell him not to waste his time.. because he was kind of ugly, I'm sorry to say. But I'll bet his mother loves him anyway.
08. AIDS, Anyone?
A prisoner is about to be released in New York State who admits to infecting 2 women with AIDS. He says that when he gets out he plans to infect a lot more. (Throw away the key!)
09. The Devil's Tools:
Somalian leaders have told radio stations to stop playing music. They have already banned bras and movies. Years ago, Americans liked living in Mogadishu.. I'll bet there aren't any there any more.
10. Airline Charges:
Spirit Airlines is going to charge for carryon luggage. Ryan Air (Ireland) is planning to charge for rest room usage on their airlines. (Someone on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me said that they will probably have to install Guiness-proof locks.)
11. Harry?
The Week magazine says (maybe) some German women tried to smuggle a dead relative on a plane in sunglasses. They were trying to avoid a large repatriation fee on coffins. Deja vu?
12. Blood levels?
The famous Danish Carlsberg Brewery is going to stop brewery workers from drinking on the job, except for three pints at lunchtime. (Is that a quart and a half?) What about at cigarette breaks?
When I drove a cab in New Bedford, Massachusetts, I used to drive some of the Dawson Brewery workers and got a chance to see how they worked. Here and there they had sinks that poured beer out of the faucets. The workers could drink as much as they wanted to, all day long. I'm sure they had a few "for the road" each afternoon before they drove home.
....................................................................................................
01. Puzzles:
Yesterday, I got a chance to give a presentation on puzzling to the last class of folks who are trying to learn to increase their brain power in order to live a longer and more interesting life. I had an ulterior motive in giving this presentation; I wanted to start a puzzle club in the complex where I live. I spoke to them about:
The National Puzzlers League (NPL). As a puzzler, I am known as AHAB.. my brother, Joe, is known as Ishmael. Joe is an expert on the charade types of puzzles, among others. I kind of like crosswords and cryptograms the most.
The American Cryptogram Association (ACA). Codes and ciphers. As AHAB, I used to contribute to the monthly magazine.
American Crosswords.. where to find the first one, and how to follow them through to the current day. There have been a number of popular changes.
The crosswords in the Sunday Baltimore Sun, including the LA Times puzzle and the New York Times puzzle. I mentioned the difficulty of the NY Times puzzle which gets tougher as the week goes on.
I talked about the folks who produce these puzzles, especially Will Shortz, who is probably the United States premier puzzle-master.
I also covered French, German, Spanish, Dutch and British puzzles, including those difficult, for Americans, British cryptics.
I showed the group some reference material that helps professional puzzlers, including regular crossword dictionaries, backwards dictionaries, anagram dictionaries, non-pattern word lists, and lists for words of specific lengths.
At the end, I showed them one of the largest crossword puzzles ever created.
All in all, I enjoyed myself doing this presentation; however, I probably bombarded (bored) them with too much information. I do hope that a couple of them will sign up for the puzzle club.
02. Funeral stuff.
Yesterday, a monstrous and mysterious 90-foot long black van showed up at our complex. Inside was an extensive display of funeral information, including a model of the funeral train of Abraham Lincoln, a copy of Lincoln's coffin, and lots of information about deceased celebrities, such as Michael Jackson, Marilyn Monroe, and others. One display stated that retired military folks at the Colonel Level or above, are entitled to have a saddled horse in a funeral procession with boots inserted backwards in the stirrups. Since my military equivalent rank for my job at Social Security was Colonel, I wonder if I should sign up for such an honor. ;0)
Of course, I would have to let my son put non-skid treads for the horse on the ice-floe that he is going to get for me.
03. Sarah:
I read where Sarah Palin is going to do an environmental program about Alaska for the Discovery Channel. I believe that she will be earning over a million dollars for this effort. Somehow, I did not know that Sarah had a friendly relationship with her environment, especially as it relates to wolves and forest reserves.
04. Blind porn?
A new Canadian magazine is being published for blind folks. It will have Braille articles and some kind of 3-D representations of naked folks. Now I will have something to look forward to as my Macular Degeneration gets worse.
05. In Sheep's Clothing?
A couple of South American prisoners escaped and were found hiding under sheep skin in a pasture. Someone mentioned that they were "on the lam" for a little while.
06. Mazel Tov.
A man in Connecticut wore a bright blue yarmulke as he robbed a bank.
07. Male Vanity:
The latest boon to male beauty: Nose Waxing.
Speaking of male vanity: In one episode of Star Trek, Captain Kirk changes into a woman, and even though he still looks like a man, every time he goes by a pane of glass, he checks himself out.
Yesterday, at WalMart, I spotted a young man with many piercings. As I was trying to count them, he passed by a glass case, checked himself out, and primpted a bit. He did it again when he passed another glass case. I wish that I had the nerve to tell him not to waste his time.. because he was kind of ugly, I'm sorry to say. But I'll bet his mother loves him anyway.
08. AIDS, Anyone?
A prisoner is about to be released in New York State who admits to infecting 2 women with AIDS. He says that when he gets out he plans to infect a lot more. (Throw away the key!)
09. The Devil's Tools:
Somalian leaders have told radio stations to stop playing music. They have already banned bras and movies. Years ago, Americans liked living in Mogadishu.. I'll bet there aren't any there any more.
10. Airline Charges:
Spirit Airlines is going to charge for carryon luggage. Ryan Air (Ireland) is planning to charge for rest room usage on their airlines. (Someone on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me said that they will probably have to install Guiness-proof locks.)
11. Harry?
The Week magazine says (maybe) some German women tried to smuggle a dead relative on a plane in sunglasses. They were trying to avoid a large repatriation fee on coffins. Deja vu?
12. Blood levels?
The famous Danish Carlsberg Brewery is going to stop brewery workers from drinking on the job, except for three pints at lunchtime. (Is that a quart and a half?) What about at cigarette breaks?
When I drove a cab in New Bedford, Massachusetts, I used to drive some of the Dawson Brewery workers and got a chance to see how they worked. Here and there they had sinks that poured beer out of the faucets. The workers could drink as much as they wanted to, all day long. I'm sure they had a few "for the road" each afternoon before they drove home.
....................................................................................................
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Weekly Dozen @ 02/20/2010
Here are some backlogged items:
01. Last year, Time magazine mentioned two special inventions that they did not particularly like:
a. A bra that can easily be converted into two gasmasks.
b. Software that scans the smiles of Japanese railway employees to make sure that they exude the proper amount of cheerfulness.
(Japanese-watchers have also been reporting on the depth of Mr. Toyoda's bows when apologizing for automobile glitzes. Apparently one can tell a lot about people's intentions by how low they bow.)
02. Why is it that all real famous people were born on holidays? (Washington, Lincoln, King, etc.)
03. Who was this "Red" Roundtree who was arrested in 2003 for trying to rob a bank at the age of 91?
04. The Vice President of Nigeria has a great name: Goodluck Jonathan. (Baltimore's own H.L.Mencken gets into "different" names in his classic study The American Language. For instance, at one time, Doctors at Johns Hopkins would name the babies for poor women who had their labor in that hospital.. one of the names given out, supposedly appropriately, was Positive Wasserman Johnson.)
05. Some art experts are declaring that the Mona Lisa is a self-portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci in drag. (Take a good look and compare after dropping the beard.. there may be some truth to this.)
06. I'm sure that now you have heard about the famous cricketeer who shocked the sports world by biting the ball during a match. This is cheating at cricket on a large scale, similar to throwing a "spitball" at a batter's head.
07. Recently, a Denver advertisement for a job as "medical marijuana reviewer" netted lots of applications.
08. A woman has filed a lawsuit against her boss for "breaking wind" in her cubicle.
(Cruel and unusual punishment, now probably considered on a par with smoking in one's area.)
09. John Gay died in 1732, and had chiseled on his tombstone:
Life is a jest,
And all things show it.
I thought so once,
And now I know it.
10. Sarah Palin had crib notes written on her hand for her recent Tea Party Convention speech. (I wonder if someone was able to photograph those notes. They would be worth thousands of dollars.)
11. Dallas, Texas police have been issuing tickets to people for not speaking English. (What law does this break?)
12. A freight train was parked in front of a woman's house for six week. During that time, she had to scoot under the train to get out into the world.
When I was in High School and walked to school down a certain street, there was always a large truck parked across the street and sidewalk, taking on items for delivery. This was a challenge to us boys, who scooted under the truck.. while the motor was running and the gearshift was about to be engaged. The girls were not as dumb as the boys.. they waited for the truck to move out of the way or took another route.
Extra: South Carolina's Mark Sanford, thinking ahead, had the "faithfulness promise" removed from the wedding vow for his marriage.
................................................
01. Last year, Time magazine mentioned two special inventions that they did not particularly like:
a. A bra that can easily be converted into two gasmasks.
b. Software that scans the smiles of Japanese railway employees to make sure that they exude the proper amount of cheerfulness.
(Japanese-watchers have also been reporting on the depth of Mr. Toyoda's bows when apologizing for automobile glitzes. Apparently one can tell a lot about people's intentions by how low they bow.)
02. Why is it that all real famous people were born on holidays? (Washington, Lincoln, King, etc.)
03. Who was this "Red" Roundtree who was arrested in 2003 for trying to rob a bank at the age of 91?
04. The Vice President of Nigeria has a great name: Goodluck Jonathan. (Baltimore's own H.L.Mencken gets into "different" names in his classic study The American Language. For instance, at one time, Doctors at Johns Hopkins would name the babies for poor women who had their labor in that hospital.. one of the names given out, supposedly appropriately, was Positive Wasserman Johnson.)
05. Some art experts are declaring that the Mona Lisa is a self-portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci in drag. (Take a good look and compare after dropping the beard.. there may be some truth to this.)
06. I'm sure that now you have heard about the famous cricketeer who shocked the sports world by biting the ball during a match. This is cheating at cricket on a large scale, similar to throwing a "spitball" at a batter's head.
07. Recently, a Denver advertisement for a job as "medical marijuana reviewer" netted lots of applications.
08. A woman has filed a lawsuit against her boss for "breaking wind" in her cubicle.
(Cruel and unusual punishment, now probably considered on a par with smoking in one's area.)
09. John Gay died in 1732, and had chiseled on his tombstone:
Life is a jest,
And all things show it.
I thought so once,
And now I know it.
10. Sarah Palin had crib notes written on her hand for her recent Tea Party Convention speech. (I wonder if someone was able to photograph those notes. They would be worth thousands of dollars.)
11. Dallas, Texas police have been issuing tickets to people for not speaking English. (What law does this break?)
12. A freight train was parked in front of a woman's house for six week. During that time, she had to scoot under the train to get out into the world.
When I was in High School and walked to school down a certain street, there was always a large truck parked across the street and sidewalk, taking on items for delivery. This was a challenge to us boys, who scooted under the truck.. while the motor was running and the gearshift was about to be engaged. The girls were not as dumb as the boys.. they waited for the truck to move out of the way or took another route.
Extra: South Carolina's Mark Sanford, thinking ahead, had the "faithfulness promise" removed from the wedding vow for his marriage.
................................................
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Weekly Dozen 01/15/2010
Even though we are overwhelmed with sadness over the loss of life in Haiti and are doing what we can to alleviate the suffering there, we still need a slight break to think about some humorous (perhaps) or at least weird things that could be learned this week from various news sources. Let's see if I can come up with one dozen.
(Incidentally, I will be interviewed by a newspaper reporter shortly about this blog and others that I write. .. actually, everything I do since I lost 3 or 4 inches in height is done "shortly".)
01. It has been determined that hamsters who imbibe alcohol suffer hangovers the next morning. (It might be better to feed them marijuana instead...?)
02. Analyst Jose Grenado has written about some things that we have suspected for a while:
a. Googling sharpens the mind. (What about FB and Twitter?)
b. Swearing helps you alleviate pain. (What did I tell you, Elaine)
c. Doodling while in a meeting helps you keep up your interest in what is being said.
03. Water has been found on the moon. (What about the cheese that my nursery rhymes talked about?)
04. Andre the Giant once drank 106 beers in a six hour period.
05. Sarah Palin was asked once more which "founding father" was her favorite. Once again she answered: "All of them."
06. An 8-year old cub scout who travels frequently by plane, has been frisked every time since he was 2 years old. Apparently, his name matches one on the security risk list.
07. Nevada now allows male prostitution. (At least, they have made it legal.)
08. A tall cross is about to be built for a Florida church by a communications company. It will double as a cell phone tower.
09. There is a fight for the Massachusetts Senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy. Scott Brown, one of the candidates once posed naked as a Cosmopolitan centerfold, at least that was what I heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and they have never lied to me before.
10. The clever Dutch have created meat using cells from a live pig.
11. A British man solved the Rubik's Cube after 26 years of trying. (When they first came out, I handed one to my son to look at. He handed it back to me in 5 minutes, solved. He's got good genes!)
12. A Polish woman is suing a hotel for causing her daughter to get pregnant while swimming in their pool. She is blaming the pregnancy on stray sperm floating in the water.
Please remember that I do not vouch for any of the items above.. I'm sure some of them are true. For more information, you can "google".. and "googling" helps your brain, as Jose G. says.
..........................................................
(Incidentally, I will be interviewed by a newspaper reporter shortly about this blog and others that I write. .. actually, everything I do since I lost 3 or 4 inches in height is done "shortly".)
01. It has been determined that hamsters who imbibe alcohol suffer hangovers the next morning. (It might be better to feed them marijuana instead...?)
02. Analyst Jose Grenado has written about some things that we have suspected for a while:
a. Googling sharpens the mind. (What about FB and Twitter?)
b. Swearing helps you alleviate pain. (What did I tell you, Elaine)
c. Doodling while in a meeting helps you keep up your interest in what is being said.
03. Water has been found on the moon. (What about the cheese that my nursery rhymes talked about?)
04. Andre the Giant once drank 106 beers in a six hour period.
05. Sarah Palin was asked once more which "founding father" was her favorite. Once again she answered: "All of them."
06. An 8-year old cub scout who travels frequently by plane, has been frisked every time since he was 2 years old. Apparently, his name matches one on the security risk list.
07. Nevada now allows male prostitution. (At least, they have made it legal.)
08. A tall cross is about to be built for a Florida church by a communications company. It will double as a cell phone tower.
09. There is a fight for the Massachusetts Senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy. Scott Brown, one of the candidates once posed naked as a Cosmopolitan centerfold, at least that was what I heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and they have never lied to me before.
10. The clever Dutch have created meat using cells from a live pig.
11. A British man solved the Rubik's Cube after 26 years of trying. (When they first came out, I handed one to my son to look at. He handed it back to me in 5 minutes, solved. He's got good genes!)
12. A Polish woman is suing a hotel for causing her daughter to get pregnant while swimming in their pool. She is blaming the pregnancy on stray sperm floating in the water.
Please remember that I do not vouch for any of the items above.. I'm sure some of them are true. For more information, you can "google".. and "googling" helps your brain, as Jose G. says.
..........................................................
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Some News for September 10th, 2009
Believe it or not, there was some news today, other than President Obama's speech.
01. A Quebec Canada man was sentenced to life in prison after his 19th conviction for drunken driving. Last year, he ran over a woman in a wheelchair.. on her birthday!
I know a person in New Bedford, Massachusetts who was convicted of drunk driving many times, and each time all it took to get his license back was a small bribe. This was a long time ago, so I hope this type of situation is a thing of the past.
02. The Mint will be issuing another special series of quarters. It will be called "America the Beautiful" and will feature famous National sites throughout the States and Territories. The complete series will consist of 56 coins that will be released about every ten weeks, starting in 2010. That means it will probably take around ten years to get a complete set.
03. If you eat a fast-food fish filet, you are probably now eating a fish called the Hoki, according to William Broad of the New York Times. (I must admit that Mr. Broad may be trying to fool us.. hoki = hoaky? But I'm probably wrong about that.) The hoki is described as a deep Pacific fish, swimming around New Zealand, and is very ugly, but tasty. The fish is supposedly taking the place of the rapidly disappearing Orange Roughy. Orange Roughy lives more than 100 years according to Mr. Broad, and reproduces very slowly. Hoki only lives 25 years and has a quicker rate of reproduction. One of my stocks, Yum Brands, likes the use of this fish.
04. I noticed that American Express is advertising that they have "the card that's ready for the unexpected." Today I was told, unofficially, that they have updated the cost of using their card to $400 a year. That is hard for me to believe... if it is indeed true. I use Visa or Discover and as of yet, they have not charged me a fee. However, I was also warned today to read my monthly statements very carefully. Someone also mentioned that Discover began to charge them a large fee because they had not used their card for some time.
05. A Bolivian man tried to highjack a plane at Mexico City's airport. He threatened to blow up the plane if Mexico's President did not talk to him about a coming disaster.. he said that he had seen the devil in the Mexican flag and knew that bad things were about to happen. Federales overpowered the man and led him off to jail.
06. Speaking of delusional thinking, Sarah Palin has written to the Wall Street Journal that "death panels" are still a concern for the elderly, regardless of what the Administration says.
07. Continuing on that theme, I read where the mayor of Glenn Beck's hometown of Mount Vernon, Washington, is about to give the "keys to the city" to their famous "home town boy." Quite an honor for a guy who has called President Obama a "racist." (Because of his statement, several big time advertisers have canceled commercials on his show, and as I said somewhere before, Ed Schultz says that his radio audience is now greater than Beck's TV show.)
08. The Hubble telescope is working great again and is sending back remarkable pictures. These pictures boggle my mind. I'm trying to remember who made the following statement, I think it was Goethe: "Only two things amaze me. The glorious heavens above and the wondrous earth below." This certainly is a great time to live for people who want to learn about the marvelous universe we live in.
09. Massachusetts lawmakers are struggling to find a way to get a quick replacement for the late Senator Kennedy. (Did I mention that Massachusetts is replete with signs that say "Ted, we love you and will miss you!" and others of a similar nature?)
10. Over 30 years ago, I read about a massive Manhattan, New York City, apartment complex. It was hard for me to imagine such a huge development. Three years ago, that complex of 110 (yes thats one hundred and ten) red-brick apartment buildings at Peter Cooper Village and Stuyvesant Town, was sold for $5.4 billion dollars. However, during this recession, the buyers are losing money.. more than half of its value. Sad. I hope they will get back to normal during 2010, when I feel sure this damnable problem time will end. A lot of people live in that complex and it would be a disaster if they had to move somewhere else.
..............................................
01. A Quebec Canada man was sentenced to life in prison after his 19th conviction for drunken driving. Last year, he ran over a woman in a wheelchair.. on her birthday!
I know a person in New Bedford, Massachusetts who was convicted of drunk driving many times, and each time all it took to get his license back was a small bribe. This was a long time ago, so I hope this type of situation is a thing of the past.
02. The Mint will be issuing another special series of quarters. It will be called "America the Beautiful" and will feature famous National sites throughout the States and Territories. The complete series will consist of 56 coins that will be released about every ten weeks, starting in 2010. That means it will probably take around ten years to get a complete set.
03. If you eat a fast-food fish filet, you are probably now eating a fish called the Hoki, according to William Broad of the New York Times. (I must admit that Mr. Broad may be trying to fool us.. hoki = hoaky? But I'm probably wrong about that.) The hoki is described as a deep Pacific fish, swimming around New Zealand, and is very ugly, but tasty. The fish is supposedly taking the place of the rapidly disappearing Orange Roughy. Orange Roughy lives more than 100 years according to Mr. Broad, and reproduces very slowly. Hoki only lives 25 years and has a quicker rate of reproduction. One of my stocks, Yum Brands, likes the use of this fish.
04. I noticed that American Express is advertising that they have "the card that's ready for the unexpected." Today I was told, unofficially, that they have updated the cost of using their card to $400 a year. That is hard for me to believe... if it is indeed true. I use Visa or Discover and as of yet, they have not charged me a fee. However, I was also warned today to read my monthly statements very carefully. Someone also mentioned that Discover began to charge them a large fee because they had not used their card for some time.
05. A Bolivian man tried to highjack a plane at Mexico City's airport. He threatened to blow up the plane if Mexico's President did not talk to him about a coming disaster.. he said that he had seen the devil in the Mexican flag and knew that bad things were about to happen. Federales overpowered the man and led him off to jail.
06. Speaking of delusional thinking, Sarah Palin has written to the Wall Street Journal that "death panels" are still a concern for the elderly, regardless of what the Administration says.
07. Continuing on that theme, I read where the mayor of Glenn Beck's hometown of Mount Vernon, Washington, is about to give the "keys to the city" to their famous "home town boy." Quite an honor for a guy who has called President Obama a "racist." (Because of his statement, several big time advertisers have canceled commercials on his show, and as I said somewhere before, Ed Schultz says that his radio audience is now greater than Beck's TV show.)
08. The Hubble telescope is working great again and is sending back remarkable pictures. These pictures boggle my mind. I'm trying to remember who made the following statement, I think it was Goethe: "Only two things amaze me. The glorious heavens above and the wondrous earth below." This certainly is a great time to live for people who want to learn about the marvelous universe we live in.
09. Massachusetts lawmakers are struggling to find a way to get a quick replacement for the late Senator Kennedy. (Did I mention that Massachusetts is replete with signs that say "Ted, we love you and will miss you!" and others of a similar nature?)
10. Over 30 years ago, I read about a massive Manhattan, New York City, apartment complex. It was hard for me to imagine such a huge development. Three years ago, that complex of 110 (yes thats one hundred and ten) red-brick apartment buildings at Peter Cooper Village and Stuyvesant Town, was sold for $5.4 billion dollars. However, during this recession, the buyers are losing money.. more than half of its value. Sad. I hope they will get back to normal during 2010, when I feel sure this damnable problem time will end. A lot of people live in that complex and it would be a disaster if they had to move somewhere else.
..............................................
Sunday, July 05, 2009
Sarah
Sarah Palin: The big news is that she has resigned as Governor of Alaska. The big question is WHY? I think that most politicians would say that if she had further political ambitions, she should have at least stayed until her current term was up, otherwise she could be accused of having a very small amount of political experience, and was a quitter.
I believe that we will hear about the real reason in a few days. As an Independent voter, I can pick on all candidates and I found her to be a "turn-off" and the wrong running mate for McCain. I'm sure she is a very nice person, but her "Caribou Barbie" characterization will probably live with her for some time to come. I hope that her reason for resigning is not a health problem.
I believe that we will hear about the real reason in a few days. As an Independent voter, I can pick on all candidates and I found her to be a "turn-off" and the wrong running mate for McCain. I'm sure she is a very nice person, but her "Caribou Barbie" characterization will probably live with her for some time to come. I hope that her reason for resigning is not a health problem.
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