Old and New, Borrowed and Blue (maybe)

Here's another dozen:

01. Prophetic. I'm trying to solve a crossword puzzle from 1943 and one of the clues states: "Chirping note." The answer, of course, is TWEET. (How did they know?)

02. Self-mutilation. Last year, at a WalMart store near Ocean City, I noticed that almost everyone, old and young, male and female, had tattoos. Last week, at a WalMart store in Westminster, Maryland, I noticed that almost everyone, old and young, male and female, had tattoos. I predict that the most lucrative profession in the year 2030 will be Tattoo Remover.

03. Methuselah? Former Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich, faces a total of 415 years in jail.

Do you remember those great lyrics:

Methuselah lived 900 years,
Old Methuselah lived 900 years,
But what use is livin'
When no woman will give in
To no man what's 900 years?

04. Retired? Who said this?

Somebody asked me: "What did you do today?
I said: "Nothing."
"But isn't that what you did yesterday?"
"Yes, but I wasn't finished."

05. Cholesterol: Would you go to the Australian restaurant where you are required to eat everything on your plate or be banished? Chef Ichikawa says he is serious about this.

Is that bad? "I say: Nay Nay!"

06. Somebody is watching you! I just read that General James Clapper (!) has been nominated to become coordinator of the 16 U.S. intelligence agencies. I hope that Jimmie will be able to get them coordinated enough to find Ben Ladin. (Maybe they already know where he is. If so, why don't they help the guys with hand grenades and samurai swords get to him. )

Question: how did that guy get on a US plane with his sword if I get stopped when my metal collar button sets off the metal detector?

07. Aging: I like this poem by Suzan L. Wiener, that was in Mature Living magazine.

You know you're getting older,
And this is true I guess,
When your life in the fast lane
Is now just the supermarket express.

08. Samuel Clemens: Mark Twain was known all over the West for the Celebrated Jumping Frog story, but when the New York Times published it so the East would know about him, they mis-named him Mark Swain.

09. Beam me up! I'm told that William Shattner auctioned off his kidney stone. I wonder how much he got for it.

10. Church stuff: Elaine likes to see the burrowing animals that inhabit the sloping lawns around the local Catholic church. She calls them: Holy Gophers.

Somebody told me that there is a Catholic church somewhere that is called "Lovely Bones".. I haven't checked it out yet.

Church names are interesting: When I went to a Quaker "church".. it was called the Friends Meeting House. What a nice name.. although it was misleading because if any of us young boys started to nod off waiting for the spirit to move someone to speak, we were subjected to a hearty crack on the head by a long pole-wielding unfriendly old-timer.

Later in my childhood, I went to the "First Baptist Church." I don't recall there being a "Second Baptist Church".. I'm sure there was somewhere. I'm also sure there was never a "Last Baptist Church." I could be wrong.

Some folks know that I was ordained in the Church of Modern Apostles in the 1970's. I still can legally perform weddings in the State of Florida. Actually, anybody can perform marriages in most states as long as the parties to the marriage get appropriate licenses.

11. Computers! (Watch it.. this is boring.. so just skip over it.) I have a lot of computers, partly because I never throw anything away. Let me give you an inventory:

A. One of the first laptops.. it weighs about twenty-five pounds. (Carry-on luggage?)

B. A laptop that I backed over in Massachusetts. It still works, except for the screen.

C. A replacement laptop, that has half of its screen messed up.. yes, I dropped it.

D. A desktop that is driving me crazy. I'm ready to throw it out the window. Its main function is as a network base. At least it actually does that ok.

E. A new laptop with VISTA. Every day it has a problem that takes me a long time to fix. But it has a very user-friendly keyboard, and I like it when it is working. Every once in a while it becomes unfixable and I have to restore it to its pristine condition and lose a lot of information.

F. A mini-laptop which was very cheap to buy and is easy to carry around and store. However, my fingers are a little too fat for the keyboard.. and pictures don't show up very well on the small screen.

G. A DROID. I like it, but it also has small keys.. my daughter-in-law gave me some tips about it and that has helped me learn to use it. The battery gets used up fast so I have to charge it up every evening. It takes nice pictures.

H. Three CPU's from earlier computers.. a technician says he can take all of the data from them and put it on a CD that I can then download/upload to one of my newer computers and see what I thought had been lost when I upgraded.

12. Celebration. Please be advised that July is National Baked Bean Month. (I'm sure that Larry the Cable Guy will have something to say.. or do.. about that.)
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Droid 101

Well, I finally did it. I obtained a "DROID" from Verizon. I'm liking it already even though I had a rocky start. I wanted to get an IPHONE, but my history record with AT&T has also been rocky. So, I got what is considered by some people to be equivalent. Can I share some of my experiences so far?

01. Get the DROID! Verizon would not sell me the phone until my current 2 year committment was up .. otherwise, I would have had to pay close to $700. Waiting, I would then only have to pay between $100 and $200 (after rebates of course). When I walked into the Verizon store I was asked to wait another ten days so that I could get even more rebates. That was nice of them.

When I got the DROID, I asked for the manual and was given a tiny "get started" booklet. Not enough information. I called Verizon and after 30 minutes of chit-chat with an automaton, I was connected to a nice human guy who told me how to download a manual from Motorola, the maker of the DROID.

02. You called? On my first day with the DROID, and before I got the manual, I received a call from a nice elderly lady. It was a wrong number and she apologized. After the call, I looked at the call log and there was an entry for the wrong number, so I decided to delete it like I sometimes did with my old cell phone. Suddenly the DROID came alive and dialed that lady. I apologized.

As I tried to close the phone app, DROID dialed her again.. and again.. and again.. I apologized.. I apologized.. I apologized.

Finally, I must have hit the right combination of keys (touches) and the phone app went away.

I decided not to do any phone calling until I read the manual. Meanwhile, someone called and I was afraid to answer it.. much later, when I figured out how to hear my messages, I found out that the call was from my sister, who was in Baltimore for the Preakness. Damn! I might have been able to meet with her.. but then it was too late and she was already back in New Bedford.

03. Scary DROID! When the DROID cycles on or off.. an eerie Twilight Zone voice says its name.

And when it awakens from sleep time, a round Motorola sign appears and a searchlight beams out from the sign that looks just like Batman's sky signal. Very clever.

04. Take a Trip! I apparently don't know how to do the MAPS app yet. It knew my location and had it pinpointed as soon as I touched the icon. After that I plugged in a destination nearby and set it off.

A voice immediately came on to tell me the first direction to take. "Drive down Weller Way!" Since I did not need to hear it, I shut the DROID off.. or so I thought.

I left the room and the DROID was on the table near Elaine. All of a sudden, the voice came out of the DROID and gave the next direction "Turn on to Luther Drive!" And then it was silent again. It "scared the daylights out of her". (what a strange expression)

Five minutes later, the voice said: "Turn left at Old New Windsor Drive" and then shut up again.

I did everything I could think of the get this app to give up the ghost.. and I thought that I had been successful, when it shouted out: "Turn right at Route 31."

Eventually, I was able to shut it off.. but I still don't know how I did it.

So, as you can see, I am having fun with this gadget especially since the Internet access is extremely fast and the push out keyboard is better even than the one on my notebook pc.

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