Showing posts with label TWITTER. Show all posts
Showing posts with label TWITTER. Show all posts

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Old and New, Borrowed and Blue (maybe)

Here's another dozen:

01. Prophetic. I'm trying to solve a crossword puzzle from 1943 and one of the clues states: "Chirping note." The answer, of course, is TWEET. (How did they know?)

02. Self-mutilation. Last year, at a WalMart store near Ocean City, I noticed that almost everyone, old and young, male and female, had tattoos. Last week, at a WalMart store in Westminster, Maryland, I noticed that almost everyone, old and young, male and female, had tattoos. I predict that the most lucrative profession in the year 2030 will be Tattoo Remover.

03. Methuselah? Former Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich, faces a total of 415 years in jail.

Do you remember those great lyrics:

Methuselah lived 900 years,
Old Methuselah lived 900 years,
But what use is livin'
When no woman will give in
To no man what's 900 years?

04. Retired? Who said this?

Somebody asked me: "What did you do today?
I said: "Nothing."
"But isn't that what you did yesterday?"
"Yes, but I wasn't finished."

05. Cholesterol: Would you go to the Australian restaurant where you are required to eat everything on your plate or be banished? Chef Ichikawa says he is serious about this.

Is that bad? "I say: Nay Nay!"

06. Somebody is watching you! I just read that General James Clapper (!) has been nominated to become coordinator of the 16 U.S. intelligence agencies. I hope that Jimmie will be able to get them coordinated enough to find Ben Ladin. (Maybe they already know where he is. If so, why don't they help the guys with hand grenades and samurai swords get to him. )

Question: how did that guy get on a US plane with his sword if I get stopped when my metal collar button sets off the metal detector?

07. Aging: I like this poem by Suzan L. Wiener, that was in Mature Living magazine.

You know you're getting older,
And this is true I guess,
When your life in the fast lane
Is now just the supermarket express.

08. Samuel Clemens: Mark Twain was known all over the West for the Celebrated Jumping Frog story, but when the New York Times published it so the East would know about him, they mis-named him Mark Swain.

09. Beam me up! I'm told that William Shattner auctioned off his kidney stone. I wonder how much he got for it.

10. Church stuff: Elaine likes to see the burrowing animals that inhabit the sloping lawns around the local Catholic church. She calls them: Holy Gophers.

Somebody told me that there is a Catholic church somewhere that is called "Lovely Bones".. I haven't checked it out yet.

Church names are interesting: When I went to a Quaker "church".. it was called the Friends Meeting House. What a nice name.. although it was misleading because if any of us young boys started to nod off waiting for the spirit to move someone to speak, we were subjected to a hearty crack on the head by a long pole-wielding unfriendly old-timer.

Later in my childhood, I went to the "First Baptist Church." I don't recall there being a "Second Baptist Church".. I'm sure there was somewhere. I'm also sure there was never a "Last Baptist Church." I could be wrong.

Some folks know that I was ordained in the Church of Modern Apostles in the 1970's. I still can legally perform weddings in the State of Florida. Actually, anybody can perform marriages in most states as long as the parties to the marriage get appropriate licenses.

11. Computers! (Watch it.. this is boring.. so just skip over it.) I have a lot of computers, partly because I never throw anything away. Let me give you an inventory:

A. One of the first laptops.. it weighs about twenty-five pounds. (Carry-on luggage?)

B. A laptop that I backed over in Massachusetts. It still works, except for the screen.

C. A replacement laptop, that has half of its screen messed up.. yes, I dropped it.

D. A desktop that is driving me crazy. I'm ready to throw it out the window. Its main function is as a network base. At least it actually does that ok.

E. A new laptop with VISTA. Every day it has a problem that takes me a long time to fix. But it has a very user-friendly keyboard, and I like it when it is working. Every once in a while it becomes unfixable and I have to restore it to its pristine condition and lose a lot of information.

F. A mini-laptop which was very cheap to buy and is easy to carry around and store. However, my fingers are a little too fat for the keyboard.. and pictures don't show up very well on the small screen.

G. A DROID. I like it, but it also has small keys.. my daughter-in-law gave me some tips about it and that has helped me learn to use it. The battery gets used up fast so I have to charge it up every evening. It takes nice pictures.

H. Three CPU's from earlier computers.. a technician says he can take all of the data from them and put it on a CD that I can then download/upload to one of my newer computers and see what I thought had been lost when I upgraded.

12. Celebration. Please be advised that July is National Baked Bean Month. (I'm sure that Larry the Cable Guy will have something to say.. or do.. about that.)
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Saturday, April 24, 2010

Hot items for April 24, 2010

From Soup to Nuts.. or rather from Tweets to Microbes. Ain't life great!

01. Tweets to the Library?

Could this be true? Soon, ALL tweets will be preserved at the Library of Congress. What's next? Blogs? Text messages? Sext messages? Future generations will now have actual evidence of our madness. Can you envision researchers in 2510 reading: "I just got up and I am going to eat cereal for breakfast." or "My bowels are working well today."

02. Well, tan my hide!

It has now been determined that the use of tanning beds is addictive. So, even though the tax on using tanning beds is being increased, the tanning salons don't have to worry, the addicts will continue their usage.

03. Celebrity death.

Benjamin Hooks, NAACP leader for many years passed away this week at age 95. He became interested in Civil Rights when he served as a guard of Italian prisoners in WW2. These prisoners were able to eat with the white soldiers, while he had to eat in the segregated mess hall for soldiers of color. Unbelievable.

04. Winos.

While I was in the Air Force, a friend and I went on a pass to Liege, Belgium. Before we left, one of our friends warned us about the "winos". These are bar girls who talk American soldiers into buying high-priced bottles of watered-down wine, while making the soldiers think that they will be able to have some fun with them later.

My friend and I took a city tour and at the end we went into a bar for a drink. Immediately, a beautiful young lady sat down beside us. My friend, a country boy, was infatuated with her.. me, a city boy, suspected that she was one of the winos. The girl coaxed my friend into buying a bottle of overpriced wine, and with a practised line, hinted at the delights to come. As we finished the watery wine, she gave my friend an address. She said that she would be leaving now to go home and prepare for his visit and that he should wait ten minutes and then come to see her. He could hardly wait.

Of course, you know what happened. When he went out to get the cab to go to the address, the cab driver said that there was no such address. I wonder if she had latched on to me instead of him.. would I have been gullible? We'll never know.

So, a chord of memory played for me when I heard that beautiful young ladies in certain bars were asking gullible young nerds to key their telephone numbers into their Blackberry Pearls. This turned out to be only a trick to impress these guys with the features of the Pearl. I wonder if the marketing guys learned this trick from Liege's winos?

05. I'll trade you 25 years of National Geographics for a tonsilectomy.

The potential Republican rival for Harry Reid's job has offered a solution for the high cost of medical care. Bartering!

06. Two drunks in Britain.

A troublemaking female drunk has been banned from all bars in England.

A drunk driver in England was stopped while driving a pink Barbie car.

07. Computers on wheels?

Best Buy will soon be selling electric cars as well as computers. I recently attended an educational session about services for the blind. (I have macular degeneration in my right eye) and the leader mentioned that one big problem for blind people is the noiseless electric car. I've heard from electric car drivers that this is also a problem for them sometimes. Perhaps soon "they" will come up with a noisemaker add-on. (I'll bring this up with John Stahlin and the VME.. Volunteers for Medical Engineering folks.)

08. Tea, anyone?

The Week magazine quotes Andrew Sullivan of TheAtlantic.com as follows:

"When Tea Party leaders propose cuts in Medicare, means-testing Social Security, a raising of the retirement age, and a cut in defense spending, I'll take them seriously."

I remember working on a case when I first was a Claims Authorizer at the Social Security Administration. The claimant was a famous literary American who had been knocking the whole "socialistic" Social Security program, stating that he would advise everyone not to take that "Government Handout." Well, he was now filing for Social Security disability benefits for himself and begging for the help.

09. Sit up straight!

The latest Hammacher Schlemmer catalog shows a Pet High Chair. "Satisfying a mutual desire for companionship, this high chair permits your dog or cat to accompany you at the dinner table."

10. "I cannot tell a lie."

Shame on George Washington for borrowing two books from the New York Library and never returning them. The overdue fine is now over $300,000!

I can't talk, while at Boston University (ages ago) I could not find a certain German book anywhere but at the New Bedford, Massachusetts Public Library. I borrowed it almost 50 years ago! I still have it. I mentioned it to my sister-in-law, Janine, who was working there and she advised me to wait for the fine forgiveness day. So far, I haven't been able to be in New Bedford at the right time. The fine is probably astronomical by now. Not returning this book is the worst thing I have ever done in my life. (believe that?)

11. Lactococcus lactis.

This has been named as the "official State microbe" for the State of Wisconsin.

12. Where did all the immigrants go?

By now, you have probably heard about the "Phoenix Immigration Bill." Will this lead to "profiling".. I would imagine so.

Also, Senator David Vitter has introduced legislation that would instruct the Census Bureau not to take into account illegal immigrants and other non-citizens in the 2010 Census.

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Monday, December 14, 2009

News and Insights for a Sunday in December 2009

Some things to think about from this week's news, The Week magazine, and experiences in this land of the free and the brave:

01. There now are more independent voters than democrats and republicans. (As an Independent, I have received surveys from both parties.)

02. It costs $55. to take a cab from downtown Baltimore to Owings Mills, Maryland. Only $1.50 on the subway. (Ask my son-in-law John for a story.)

03. It finally happened, a ten year old Idaho boy got his tongue stuck to a metal fence pole.

04. A guy interupted his wedding ceremony to send a Tweet and a Facebook update about what he was doing.

05. A lawyer is suing to close down a soup kitchen because it is a nuisance and encourages people to stay bums.

06. Viagra is being considered as a performance enhancing medium.. in sports.

07. A gay Baltimore Episcopal priest has become a bishop in Los Angeles. She has been in a relationship since 1988, a lot longer than many male-female relationships.

08. Chinese drivers have become the largest group of car buyers in the world.

09. Gold is selling at over $1,200 per ounce. (How much do you think you can get for your old class ring?)

10. Most stout beers have an alcohol content of 4%, which is a little less than some light beers. (I find that very hard to believe.)

11. Baltimore's Bel-Loc Diner on Joppa Road has been named as one of the "South's" best diners. (Is it in the "South"? Well, we are below the Mason-Dixon Line.)

12. Red wine can help prevent tooth decay, besides being good for your heart. (So, now stop bugging me.)

13. The Pakistani Taliban has destroyed over 400 girl's and coed schools.

14. In Uganda, if you don't report homosexual activity that you observe or suspect, you can be sentenced to three years in jail. (What would Edie Amin do?)

15. Although he tried for a whole month, a Swedish man was unable to produce milk from his breasts.

16. Republican conservatives are demanding that future candidates agree to a ten-point conservative agenda. (Moderates need not apply.)

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Saturday, December 12, 2009

Sweet Tweet?

Great news! Babies can now tweet using a new device called a "Twaddler", according to Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Roy Blount says that mothers can now proudly tell their friends: "He did his first Tweet today!"

In other news, I learned that house licking by cows is not covered by some Home Owner's Insurance policies.

And the State of Wisconsin has named a State Microbe: Lactococcus Lactis. This is the microbe that helps make, of course, cheese.

Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me is a great show and one can increase one's knowledge about many subjects by listening to it. There was even some info about global warming:

Lobsters and crabs are growing larger because of it.

Whale voices are lowering because of it.

... And I'm not just "hanging noodles on your ears." (That's Russian for "pulling your leg.")

Those of you who accidently bump into some of my blogs know about the famous outlaw who changed his name to Joe Vaughan and moved to Arkansas to found a big family. Well, one of my policemen friends sent me an article about another Joe Vaughan, an ironmonger who founded the Deep Creek Furnace and the Nanticoke Forge in Delaware. As a Colonel during the Revolutionary War, he had his troops hold their ground and avoid defeat by the British, for which he was named the "Iron Man".

By the way, there are still some openings in the Joe Vaughan Fan Club. Let me know if you want to join. I haven't been actively recruiting for a few years now, but my original members are still involved. (For those who don't know about the Joe Vaughan Fan Club.. it is a club in which I, Joe Vaughan, am your fan, not necessarily the other way around.)

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Sunday, August 09, 2009

End of week news.

Looking at the Baltimore Sun for Friday, August 7th, 2009:

01. I learned that Justice Sotomayor has had diabetes since childhood. This is an insidious disease and she has had to overcome its terrible effects and still become a success. I also learned that she was a recipient of affirmative action who then graduated with highest honors. There is a lesson there.

02. There was a picture of Snoop Dogg at the Raven's Camp, with the legend: Westminster Dogg Show.

03. A related article was about nicknames used by gang members. It said that some of the toughest guys have silly-sounding monikers. They mentioned that one guy was known as "Brazy" instead of "Crazy" because as a "Blood" he can't use the letter "C" in his name.

04. I was interested in this statement: "Even in a region with nearly double-digit unemployment, the crab companies remain reliant on migrant labor from abroad because so few local residennts are willing to take the messy, repetitive (crab-picking) jobs."

05. A drug suspect tried to swallow a bag of drugs and choked to death. Now his buddies are saying he really died of a police beating.

06. A technically knowledgable teen-ager made more than 80 credit cards with a machine in his home. He was arrested after he used some woman's debit card to pay for a vehicle emissions test and a $650 tab at a nightclub.

07. Senator Mikulski says that her rehab for ankle surgery at Mercy Hospital was like "boot camp". Nice play on words.

08. Flu shots later this year will probably consist of three shots: one for regular flu and two for Swine flu. (My shingles shot is still hurting my arm.)

09. China is investigating the death of a teen-ager who was allegedly beaten to death in (get this) a camp designed to treat Internet addiction.

10. Ronnie Biggs was released from jail.. look up: The Great Train Robbery!

11. Twitter suffered a "distributed denial of service (DDOS)" which is a disruptive tactic where outsiders attempt to overload a web site with huge numbers of computer-generated requests. They will have to learn how to handle these like Facebook has.

12. There was a nice long letter by two ladies who have lived together for 30 years, 5 of those as a married couple... although the marriage is not recognised by Maryland. It should be read by everyone.

13. There was a notice of the passing of family friend, Evelyn. Also a notice of the passing of the father of Mike, who graduated from high school with Elaine.

14. The Iraqi parliament is trying to ban smoking in government buildings and public indoor area.

(Watch out... remember the man who opened fire in a restaurant when he was asked to put out his cigarette.. I wonder if this has occured in the U.S......yet.)

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Wednesday, May 06, 2009

Curating the news?

The Union representing Boston Globe workers gave in at the last minute to demands by the New York Times corporation on the matter of job guarantees. Now the Boston Globe will continue to publish. Papers like the Globe are having trouble because of a number of problems: people are leaving print media for what they can find on the Internet, advertising revenue is down because of the Recession, the cost of print supplies is rising, monetary promises to retired workers are getting hard to honor, etc.

Senator Kerry will be holding a hearing today about the future of printed newspapers vs Internet news. Perhaps, someday, we may have to kick-in a few bucks to be able to get our news via Yahoo, Google, or some other Internet source. (Right now, I have a computer start-up screen that gives me news from all of the major sources. Actually, it gives me all the headlines and I pick which stories I wish to look at in greater detail. Also, I get TWITTER and FACEBOOK new information. All of this is FREE... and I ought not need to read a print newspaper... but of course I do. I wonder how many young people ever read a print newspaper.)

I believe that Senator Cardin will be pushing legislation that would make print newspapers non-profit entities. I wonder if that legislation has a chance of getting anywhere.

And.. there is talk of a "bail-out" for newspapers, similar to that for the auto industry.

I've heard that France has a newspaper subscription subsidy program that doesn't seem to be working very well.

Do we in the US want the Government subsidising newspapers and probably telling them what to tell their readers? Haven't we already had a taste of that? Where were the pictures of returning coffins from the Gulf Wars?

Probably we are heading to Sunday only print newspapers for the major sources. Local newspapers will probably survive.. I hope so.

Many newspapers no longer have the money to go after stories on their own.. or do investigative journalism. In fact, according to what someone said today on the Diane Rehm show, newspapers in 27 States have no representatives in Washington, DC and have to rely on what their National feeders tell them.

Give yourself a treat and view It Happened One Night, the famous 1934 movie with Clark Gable and Claudette Colbert. Besides showing what life was like 75 years ago during the "Great Depression", it also depicts how newspapers worked in those days.

Back to local newspapers: Most of the groups I'm involved in, like NARFE, AARP, SSAA, etc., have come to the conclusion that my picture has been shown too often in local Carroll County (Maryland) papers... so, that will no longer be the case (except in rare situations). I know, I know, my many fans will be protesting this decision, but they must realize that other notables need to be seen from time to time and Joe Vaughan has had enough publicity already. ;0)

Basta!