Here's another dozen:
01. Prophetic. I'm trying to solve a crossword puzzle from 1943 and one of the clues states: "Chirping note." The answer, of course, is TWEET. (How did they know?)
02. Self-mutilation. Last year, at a WalMart store near Ocean City, I noticed that almost everyone, old and young, male and female, had tattoos. Last week, at a WalMart store in Westminster, Maryland, I noticed that almost everyone, old and young, male and female, had tattoos. I predict that the most lucrative profession in the year 2030 will be Tattoo Remover.
03. Methuselah? Former Illinois Governor, Rod Blagojevich, faces a total of 415 years in jail.
Do you remember those great lyrics:
Methuselah lived 900 years,
Old Methuselah lived 900 years,
But what use is livin'
When no woman will give in
To no man what's 900 years?
04. Retired? Who said this?
Somebody asked me: "What did you do today?
I said: "Nothing."
"But isn't that what you did yesterday?"
"Yes, but I wasn't finished."
05. Cholesterol: Would you go to the Australian restaurant where you are required to eat everything on your plate or be banished? Chef Ichikawa says he is serious about this.
Is that bad? "I say: Nay Nay!"
06. Somebody is watching you! I just read that General James Clapper (!) has been nominated to become coordinator of the 16 U.S. intelligence agencies. I hope that Jimmie will be able to get them coordinated enough to find Ben Ladin. (Maybe they already know where he is. If so, why don't they help the guys with hand grenades and samurai swords get to him. )
Question: how did that guy get on a US plane with his sword if I get stopped when my metal collar button sets off the metal detector?
07. Aging: I like this poem by Suzan L. Wiener, that was in Mature Living magazine.
You know you're getting older,
And this is true I guess,
When your life in the fast lane
Is now just the supermarket express.
08. Samuel Clemens: Mark Twain was known all over the West for the Celebrated Jumping Frog story, but when the New York Times published it so the East would know about him, they mis-named him Mark Swain.
09. Beam me up! I'm told that William Shattner auctioned off his kidney stone. I wonder how much he got for it.
10. Church stuff: Elaine likes to see the burrowing animals that inhabit the sloping lawns around the local Catholic church. She calls them: Holy Gophers.
Somebody told me that there is a Catholic church somewhere that is called "Lovely Bones".. I haven't checked it out yet.
Church names are interesting: When I went to a Quaker "church".. it was called the Friends Meeting House. What a nice name.. although it was misleading because if any of us young boys started to nod off waiting for the spirit to move someone to speak, we were subjected to a hearty crack on the head by a long pole-wielding unfriendly old-timer.
Later in my childhood, I went to the "First Baptist Church." I don't recall there being a "Second Baptist Church".. I'm sure there was somewhere. I'm also sure there was never a "Last Baptist Church." I could be wrong.
Some folks know that I was ordained in the Church of Modern Apostles in the 1970's. I still can legally perform weddings in the State of Florida. Actually, anybody can perform marriages in most states as long as the parties to the marriage get appropriate licenses.
11. Computers! (Watch it.. this is boring.. so just skip over it.) I have a lot of computers, partly because I never throw anything away. Let me give you an inventory:
A. One of the first laptops.. it weighs about twenty-five pounds. (Carry-on luggage?)
B. A laptop that I backed over in Massachusetts. It still works, except for the screen.
C. A replacement laptop, that has half of its screen messed up.. yes, I dropped it.
D. A desktop that is driving me crazy. I'm ready to throw it out the window. Its main function is as a network base. At least it actually does that ok.
E. A new laptop with VISTA. Every day it has a problem that takes me a long time to fix. But it has a very user-friendly keyboard, and I like it when it is working. Every once in a while it becomes unfixable and I have to restore it to its pristine condition and lose a lot of information.
F. A mini-laptop which was very cheap to buy and is easy to carry around and store. However, my fingers are a little too fat for the keyboard.. and pictures don't show up very well on the small screen.
G. A DROID. I like it, but it also has small keys.. my daughter-in-law gave me some tips about it and that has helped me learn to use it. The battery gets used up fast so I have to charge it up every evening. It takes nice pictures.
H. Three CPU's from earlier computers.. a technician says he can take all of the data from them and put it on a CD that I can then download/upload to one of my newer computers and see what I thought had been lost when I upgraded.
12. Celebration. Please be advised that July is National Baked Bean Month. (I'm sure that Larry the Cable Guy will have something to say.. or do.. about that.)
...................................................................................................................
Showing posts with label Mark Twain. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mark Twain. Show all posts
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Take the Good with the Bad
This has been some week! A lot of computer activity has been keeping me busy.
01. Vista on my Laptop. My laptop went dead a couple of days ago. I love my laptop, except for VISTA that is installed. Every few weeks, it stops functioning and I must try everything I can think of in the hopes that it will start up again. Usually, it takes about 50 or 60 starts, restarts, reconfigurations, various key combinations... etc etc to get it going again.
The first time it malfunctioned, I called the manufacturer and he had me take the thing apart and manipulate some internal stuff.. that didn't work, so I sent it off to him .. and lost the use of the thing for weeks.
The next time it happened, I was able to take it back to the basic way it was when I bought it; thereby losing all the stuff that I had added since the fix.
The next time it happened.. I tried all of the combination of things that I mentioned above.. and, magically, it started up again after a couple of days, without any loss. So now, I just anticipate it bombing out again.. I cuss and threaten it with a toss out of the window.. and then start my unreasoned regime of starts, restarts, etc etc. (And, you know, I was a computer programmer for years.. now, only a young person knows how to really work these new machines; us old dudes, with our old brains can't really get a handle on the new technology).
02. Beautiful new website! The Marriotts Ridge High School came through and created a new website for the Social Security Alumni Association. It was released a couple of days ago. Now, some of us will go to the High School and get some lessons on how to maintain the site. Kind of exciting. Damn smart, these HS kids!
03. Hacker! Some other smart person figured out how to access one of my email sites and sent Viagra ads to everybody, living and dead who I had ever communicated with by EMAIL. So, I got the opportunity to spend lots of time doing damage control.. that means contacting the living persons and sending them apologies. I complained to my email provider, MSN and changed my password, but I don't know if that is enough to stop this clown.
One good thing that came out of this problem was that I heard from a Massachusetts cousin that I thought had passed away. Also, I got a couple of "thank you" messages from some older men friends.
04. Blog Book. Those of you who remember Allen's Alley, might remember the little guy with the "Big Old Wife" who kept a "Bird Book." Well, I learned that I can keep a "Blog Book." Now, since I am now the Patriarch of the Arthur S. Vaughan Progeny family, I am going to bind some of my blogs so that future Vaughan genealogists can have an easier time finding out just what we all were about in the late 20th and early 21st centuries.
For quite a small sum, Google will bind selected blog entries. Hardbound at that!
Perhaps I can take my notes for the book I have been writing for a while and put them out on a blog and then get them published that way for a rather cheap price. We'll see. (Incidentally, my story will be about my experiences in four years in the Air Force. I know, it sounds boring, but you might be surprised.)
05. Quaker Voices. Elaine's daughter Emily and her son-in-law, Mat, have created a CD for the Friends School in Baltimore, which Emily attended. Elaine and I listened to it last night and it sounded very well done. The school was founded before the US Constitution was written and has maintained its Quaker values of peace, equality, and truth, among other virtues for all the years since then.
The comments on the CD reminded me of when I attended Quaker Meeting in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts as a young boy. The building was similar to the Dunker Church that we saw recently on a visit to the Antietam Civil War battle site. Pews arranged in a square around a pot-bellied stove. Women set on one side, men on the other.
Nobody spoke until the spirit moved. Sometimes nobody spoke for over an hour and young boys like me had better not nod off, because there was a little old grouchy looking man in the back with a long pole that he used to bop the nodders on the head with.
06. Mini Garden of Eatin': We set up an "earthbox" a couple of weeks ago with three small plants: zuchini, squash, and cucumbers. The zuchini plant is now gigantic and it looks like blossoms are getting ready to pop. The squash plant got bottom rot and I pulled it today. The cucumber plant is holding its own even though greatly overshadowed by the zuke.
Next, I sent for three more "earthboxes" and I spent a lot of time today filling them with potting mixture, dolomite and fertilizer. Now we have to decide what plants to put in the boxes. We already have four large pots of tomatoes (one of which already has three green tomatoes growing.)
Elaine wants to plant dill, lettuce, cucumber and another tomato.
We also bought another upside down tomato plant holder. The one we had last year worked out pretty well for small tomatoes.. and then the holder disintegrated in the winter's heavy snow.
07. Mark Twain! Did I mention that I left my library book out in the rain and I had to try to buy another one to replace it? One of Amazon's sources had a copy and is mailing it to me. The book is (of course) Mark Twain by Ron Powers. Ron's style of writing is a lot like Mark Twain's. I guess that is the way he planned it.
Reading this book about Mr. Clemens' life has inspired me to reread all of his books, but especially his Innocents Abroad. I'm afraid that I did not appreciate it when I read it last. Now that I have learned some background information about the book, I should enjoy it more.
08. Martin Gardner: Speaking of background information. One reads Alice in Wonderland.. and then one reads The Annotated Alice by Martin Garner. Enough said.
Mr. Gardner died this week. I had a very distant puzzler's relationship with this interesting guy.
09. Mr. Mencken: "Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends." Think about that for a while.
10. Watching us? Check out Sky and Telescope magazine for June 1958, page 414 for pictures of a white cross observed on the moon on 11/26/56.
Incidentally, people who would like to help map the moon are being offered the job.
11. Bible study: I'm told that Shakespeare wrote the 46th psalm.
The 46th word from the beginning is "Shake" and the 46th word from the end is "Spears".
(Not in the Douay version) (King James?)
12. The answer is: 9W. The question is: Herr Wagner, do you spell your name with a "V"?
.......................................
01. Vista on my Laptop. My laptop went dead a couple of days ago. I love my laptop, except for VISTA that is installed. Every few weeks, it stops functioning and I must try everything I can think of in the hopes that it will start up again. Usually, it takes about 50 or 60 starts, restarts, reconfigurations, various key combinations... etc etc to get it going again.
The first time it malfunctioned, I called the manufacturer and he had me take the thing apart and manipulate some internal stuff.. that didn't work, so I sent it off to him .. and lost the use of the thing for weeks.
The next time it happened, I was able to take it back to the basic way it was when I bought it; thereby losing all the stuff that I had added since the fix.
The next time it happened.. I tried all of the combination of things that I mentioned above.. and, magically, it started up again after a couple of days, without any loss. So now, I just anticipate it bombing out again.. I cuss and threaten it with a toss out of the window.. and then start my unreasoned regime of starts, restarts, etc etc. (And, you know, I was a computer programmer for years.. now, only a young person knows how to really work these new machines; us old dudes, with our old brains can't really get a handle on the new technology).
02. Beautiful new website! The Marriotts Ridge High School came through and created a new website for the Social Security Alumni Association. It was released a couple of days ago. Now, some of us will go to the High School and get some lessons on how to maintain the site. Kind of exciting. Damn smart, these HS kids!
03. Hacker! Some other smart person figured out how to access one of my email sites and sent Viagra ads to everybody, living and dead who I had ever communicated with by EMAIL. So, I got the opportunity to spend lots of time doing damage control.. that means contacting the living persons and sending them apologies. I complained to my email provider, MSN and changed my password, but I don't know if that is enough to stop this clown.
One good thing that came out of this problem was that I heard from a Massachusetts cousin that I thought had passed away. Also, I got a couple of "thank you" messages from some older men friends.
04. Blog Book. Those of you who remember Allen's Alley, might remember the little guy with the "Big Old Wife" who kept a "Bird Book." Well, I learned that I can keep a "Blog Book." Now, since I am now the Patriarch of the Arthur S. Vaughan Progeny family, I am going to bind some of my blogs so that future Vaughan genealogists can have an easier time finding out just what we all were about in the late 20th and early 21st centuries.
For quite a small sum, Google will bind selected blog entries. Hardbound at that!
Perhaps I can take my notes for the book I have been writing for a while and put them out on a blog and then get them published that way for a rather cheap price. We'll see. (Incidentally, my story will be about my experiences in four years in the Air Force. I know, it sounds boring, but you might be surprised.)
05. Quaker Voices. Elaine's daughter Emily and her son-in-law, Mat, have created a CD for the Friends School in Baltimore, which Emily attended. Elaine and I listened to it last night and it sounded very well done. The school was founded before the US Constitution was written and has maintained its Quaker values of peace, equality, and truth, among other virtues for all the years since then.
The comments on the CD reminded me of when I attended Quaker Meeting in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts as a young boy. The building was similar to the Dunker Church that we saw recently on a visit to the Antietam Civil War battle site. Pews arranged in a square around a pot-bellied stove. Women set on one side, men on the other.
Nobody spoke until the spirit moved. Sometimes nobody spoke for over an hour and young boys like me had better not nod off, because there was a little old grouchy looking man in the back with a long pole that he used to bop the nodders on the head with.
06. Mini Garden of Eatin': We set up an "earthbox" a couple of weeks ago with three small plants: zuchini, squash, and cucumbers. The zuchini plant is now gigantic and it looks like blossoms are getting ready to pop. The squash plant got bottom rot and I pulled it today. The cucumber plant is holding its own even though greatly overshadowed by the zuke.
Next, I sent for three more "earthboxes" and I spent a lot of time today filling them with potting mixture, dolomite and fertilizer. Now we have to decide what plants to put in the boxes. We already have four large pots of tomatoes (one of which already has three green tomatoes growing.)
Elaine wants to plant dill, lettuce, cucumber and another tomato.
We also bought another upside down tomato plant holder. The one we had last year worked out pretty well for small tomatoes.. and then the holder disintegrated in the winter's heavy snow.
07. Mark Twain! Did I mention that I left my library book out in the rain and I had to try to buy another one to replace it? One of Amazon's sources had a copy and is mailing it to me. The book is (of course) Mark Twain by Ron Powers. Ron's style of writing is a lot like Mark Twain's. I guess that is the way he planned it.
Reading this book about Mr. Clemens' life has inspired me to reread all of his books, but especially his Innocents Abroad. I'm afraid that I did not appreciate it when I read it last. Now that I have learned some background information about the book, I should enjoy it more.
08. Martin Gardner: Speaking of background information. One reads Alice in Wonderland.. and then one reads The Annotated Alice by Martin Garner. Enough said.
Mr. Gardner died this week. I had a very distant puzzler's relationship with this interesting guy.
09. Mr. Mencken: "Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends." Think about that for a while.
10. Watching us? Check out Sky and Telescope magazine for June 1958, page 414 for pictures of a white cross observed on the moon on 11/26/56.
Incidentally, people who would like to help map the moon are being offered the job.
11. Bible study: I'm told that Shakespeare wrote the 46th psalm.
The 46th word from the beginning is "Shake" and the 46th word from the end is "Spears".
(Not in the Douay version) (King James?)
12. The answer is: 9W. The question is: Herr Wagner, do you spell your name with a "V"?
.......................................
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Weekly Dozen
Well, I'm almost to my 200th blog entry. It's hard to believe that I've gone on so long. Just call me "motor mouth". (Some biblical stuff mixed in today.)
01. Soggy? Some one has invented Beer Chips. Its sliced potatoes, covered with salt and sugar and soaked in beer before final preparation. The ad man said: "It's a party in your mouth!" I guess it saves you the trouble of dipping your chips in your beer.
02. Fleeting idea: Why not breed a smaller flea that would therefore not bother animals and humans? Don't scoff. Don't they have flea circuses? So wouldn't these insect Barnums be able to do flea breeding?
(Why did Noah bring two fleas on the ark? Chiggers? Deer ticks? Sharks? Killer whales? Headlice?)
My friend, Ivan Gibbs, says that there is a tiny lice that just bothers the left ears of fleas. (or something like that)... and what about bedbugs, rats,
....music: "Old Noah he built him an ark, Old Noah, he built him an ark... etc etc."
03. Carroll County (Maryland) Headline from 1984: "Judge Burns Stable after Heart Attack."
04. Wisdom: Mark Twain said: "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18." (Wasn't there a movie about this recently?)
05. Where is he now? A couple of years ago Headlice Harry appeared on the scene. "Instant relief for headlice." (See Noah above)
06. RIP: A retired meter maid instructed a funeral home to set up a parking meter as a headstone for her when she died. It would be set to "Time Expired."
07. Burning question: How did Adam keep his figleaf on?
(By the way, did you know that the Bible talks about baseball? Genesis opens: "In the Big Inning..").
08. Ow!: Consumers' Reports mentions the following sign in a doctor's office: "Prostate Exam. Come in for a yearly prostate exam, get second one at same visit for free."
09. Closeness: Consumers' Reports also mentions the TwoDaLoo, which is a toilet that two people can use at the same time.. for $1,400. (May include a TV and iPod station.)
10. Important information:
Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine, was the first human being ever to wear an ear muff.
The Thames is called "Isis" while it flows through Oxford.
The ant never sleeps. (See Noah above.)
The first movie closeup caused panic when shown because the audience mistook it for a severed head.
There are 2,500,000 rivets in the Eifel Tower.
11. Confucious says: "Show-off always shown up in showdown."
Remember Charlie Chan? He was always quoting Confucious. I wonder if I can order old Charlie Chan movies from Netflix? Remember how he always flew into San Francisco on a China Clipper seaplane?
12. Twain again: Mark Twain once told a pompous clergyman that every word of his sermon was in a book he had at home. A dictionary.
............................................................................
01. Soggy? Some one has invented Beer Chips. Its sliced potatoes, covered with salt and sugar and soaked in beer before final preparation. The ad man said: "It's a party in your mouth!" I guess it saves you the trouble of dipping your chips in your beer.
02. Fleeting idea: Why not breed a smaller flea that would therefore not bother animals and humans? Don't scoff. Don't they have flea circuses? So wouldn't these insect Barnums be able to do flea breeding?
(Why did Noah bring two fleas on the ark? Chiggers? Deer ticks? Sharks? Killer whales? Headlice?)
My friend, Ivan Gibbs, says that there is a tiny lice that just bothers the left ears of fleas. (or something like that)... and what about bedbugs, rats,
....music: "Old Noah he built him an ark, Old Noah, he built him an ark... etc etc."
03. Carroll County (Maryland) Headline from 1984: "Judge Burns Stable after Heart Attack."
04. Wisdom: Mark Twain said: "Life would be infinitely happier if we could only be born at the age of 80 and gradually approach 18." (Wasn't there a movie about this recently?)
05. Where is he now? A couple of years ago Headlice Harry appeared on the scene. "Instant relief for headlice." (See Noah above)
06. RIP: A retired meter maid instructed a funeral home to set up a parking meter as a headstone for her when she died. It would be set to "Time Expired."
07. Burning question: How did Adam keep his figleaf on?
(By the way, did you know that the Bible talks about baseball? Genesis opens: "In the Big Inning..").
08. Ow!: Consumers' Reports mentions the following sign in a doctor's office: "Prostate Exam. Come in for a yearly prostate exam, get second one at same visit for free."
09. Closeness: Consumers' Reports also mentions the TwoDaLoo, which is a toilet that two people can use at the same time.. for $1,400. (May include a TV and iPod station.)
10. Important information:
Chester Greenwood of Farmington, Maine, was the first human being ever to wear an ear muff.
The Thames is called "Isis" while it flows through Oxford.
The ant never sleeps. (See Noah above.)
The first movie closeup caused panic when shown because the audience mistook it for a severed head.
There are 2,500,000 rivets in the Eifel Tower.
11. Confucious says: "Show-off always shown up in showdown."
Remember Charlie Chan? He was always quoting Confucious. I wonder if I can order old Charlie Chan movies from Netflix? Remember how he always flew into San Francisco on a China Clipper seaplane?
12. Twain again: Mark Twain once told a pompous clergyman that every word of his sermon was in a book he had at home. A dictionary.
............................................................................
Friday, March 05, 2010
Weekly Dozen @ March 5, 2010
Some of these items come from me, some from newspapers, and some from The Week magazine, a wonderful sheet that hits all sides of a story.
01. Famous Book Sale. The well-known Smith College in Massachusetts has an active alumni group in Maryland. They put on an annual book sale that is a book-lover's dream. I first discovered the sale while I was waiting for my first daughter to be born at a Baltimore hospital. (I won't tell you how many years ago that was because maybe my daughter doesn't want you to know how old she is.)
Over the years, I purchased thousands of books for my collection, mainly at their sales. (They sell gently-used books on any and all subjects.) When we made plans to move to our current location, I realized that I could not take all of these books with me, so I boxed them up, knowing that I could always donate them to the current year's sale. However, when the time came, I was told that they already had so many books to sell, they had no place to put my 118 boxes of books. (I have already written how I finally got rid of the books, so, if you want to know, call me up or search my blogs for Salvation Army.)
Anyway, this year's sale is the 52nd annual sale. It will take place on April 9-11 at the exhibition hall of the Maryland State Fairgrounds in Timonium, MD. Apparently that is the only site big enough to hold all of the books. I guarantee that if you go, you will get hooked, and start to amass your own gigantic library of great books. (... at cheap prices)
02. Intelligent Billing: Elaine got a bill today from a well-known company. It was a bill for $0.00 ! A nasty note was attached, saying, in effect, "If we do not receive your payment by March 31st, you will be required to pay a $0.00 late fee!"
03. Tricky Timing: The usually completely accurate magazine I mentioned above, gave the following information: "2010 is the year of Mark Twain, ... it marks the 100th anniversary of the American author's birth, and the 125th of the publication of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn..." He sure was a darn good writer to get stuff published even before he was born.
03 1/2. Telephone Help Desk: At today's AARP meeting, I was able to give my stand-up routine about a telephone call I made a while ago.
I called the 800 # for a well-known Internet provider. I had a problem and was not able to access the web. The call went something like this:
"Allo, wat is your name?"
"Joseph Vaughan"
"Allo, Yosef, wat is your broblem?"
"I cannot access the Internet."
"Yosef, do you ave dial-up or dsl?"
"I have cable."
"Yosef, wat is gable? I do not understand gable."
"May I speak to your supervisor?"
"May I help you?"
"Yes, I cannot access the internet."
"Wat is your name, sir?"
"Joseph Vaughan."
"OK, Yosef, do you ave dial-up or dsl?"
"I have cable."
"Yosef, wat is gable? I don't know wat is gable."
"It's an electric line running into my house, like a telephone line."
"OK, Yosef, I will look that up. Where do you live?"
"I live in the U.S. In Maryland."
"I don't know wat is merrylend."
"Maryland is a State in the U.S."
"I'm sorry, Yosef, but I ave no record of merrylend."
"Do you have Massachusetts?"
"Yes, I see that, but no merrylend."
"Oh.. to hell with it! Goodbye!"
After explaining my frustrating experience to a County administrator, I was given a local number for the company involved. I called the number and a guy said: "Hey, how ya doin? What can I do for you?"
I told him my problem, he went away for one minute, came back and said, "is it ok now?" I checked, and it was. Total time for call and fix.. about two minutes.
04. Traffic cameras: We've talked before about speed cameras and red-light cameras.. now we have "rolling right turn" cameras. In Los Angeles, there now is a fine of over $400 for doing a rolling right turn. This must be a real money-maker, because it's hard for me to believe that the word has gotten out that you must make a full stop before making a right turn on a red light.
05. Air Traffic Controllers: They are getting younger and younger. Check out the youngster who gave instructions to several planes recently at the JFK Airport.(I know that President Reagan fired a lot of controllers years ago, but I didn't know that the Government had dropped the age requirement so they could hire more of them.)
06. Oink:Oink - This is the tenth anniversary of the successful cloning of a pig. (Name of Deli?)
07. IQ: An Israeli study has found that the lower a person's IQ is, the more likely that person is a heavy smoker. (Us former-smoker now-smart guys knew that already.)
08. Brushes: A lady named Dawn Stephens has invented an all-in-one toilet-bowl-cleaning brush. (My grandfather, Arthur Stephens Vaughan, in 1900, invented the all-in-one shoe brush, consisting of a "polish dauber" on the end of a handled "polishing brush.") If I could figure out how to put pictures on this blog, I would show what his prototype looks like today. I have it on display in my den.
09. Cursing: Nepal has an annual "cursing festival". One of the curses I like best is: "May your buffaloes all die of diarrhea!"
10. Fusion? Bloom Energy says they have developed a fuel cell that can generate energy without going through the process of combustion. More power to them!
11. Crabby? Marylanders love their crabs, but sometimes they get careless about getting them. Recently, Maryland environmental police found and pulled up over 1,500 abandoned or lost crab pots from inlets to the Chesapeake Bay. These pots endanger fish and crabs. I wonder what they did with any crabs (or their skeletons) found in these pots.
12. Exercise? I read that there is an aerobic exercise called "spinning"... please don't tell me what that is, I want to conjure up an image of this exercise... in my mind's eye.. just as I did years ago listening to the radio and visualizing the scene being described. Visualization is a great exercise for the brain.
... enough!
01. Famous Book Sale. The well-known Smith College in Massachusetts has an active alumni group in Maryland. They put on an annual book sale that is a book-lover's dream. I first discovered the sale while I was waiting for my first daughter to be born at a Baltimore hospital. (I won't tell you how many years ago that was because maybe my daughter doesn't want you to know how old she is.)
Over the years, I purchased thousands of books for my collection, mainly at their sales. (They sell gently-used books on any and all subjects.) When we made plans to move to our current location, I realized that I could not take all of these books with me, so I boxed them up, knowing that I could always donate them to the current year's sale. However, when the time came, I was told that they already had so many books to sell, they had no place to put my 118 boxes of books. (I have already written how I finally got rid of the books, so, if you want to know, call me up or search my blogs for Salvation Army.)
Anyway, this year's sale is the 52nd annual sale. It will take place on April 9-11 at the exhibition hall of the Maryland State Fairgrounds in Timonium, MD. Apparently that is the only site big enough to hold all of the books. I guarantee that if you go, you will get hooked, and start to amass your own gigantic library of great books. (... at cheap prices)
02. Intelligent Billing: Elaine got a bill today from a well-known company. It was a bill for $0.00 ! A nasty note was attached, saying, in effect, "If we do not receive your payment by March 31st, you will be required to pay a $0.00 late fee!"
03. Tricky Timing: The usually completely accurate magazine I mentioned above, gave the following information: "2010 is the year of Mark Twain, ... it marks the 100th anniversary of the American author's birth, and the 125th of the publication of the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn..." He sure was a darn good writer to get stuff published even before he was born.
03 1/2. Telephone Help Desk: At today's AARP meeting, I was able to give my stand-up routine about a telephone call I made a while ago.
I called the 800 # for a well-known Internet provider. I had a problem and was not able to access the web. The call went something like this:
"Allo, wat is your name?"
"Joseph Vaughan"
"Allo, Yosef, wat is your broblem?"
"I cannot access the Internet."
"Yosef, do you ave dial-up or dsl?"
"I have cable."
"Yosef, wat is gable? I do not understand gable."
"May I speak to your supervisor?"
"May I help you?"
"Yes, I cannot access the internet."
"Wat is your name, sir?"
"Joseph Vaughan."
"OK, Yosef, do you ave dial-up or dsl?"
"I have cable."
"Yosef, wat is gable? I don't know wat is gable."
"It's an electric line running into my house, like a telephone line."
"OK, Yosef, I will look that up. Where do you live?"
"I live in the U.S. In Maryland."
"I don't know wat is merrylend."
"Maryland is a State in the U.S."
"I'm sorry, Yosef, but I ave no record of merrylend."
"Do you have Massachusetts?"
"Yes, I see that, but no merrylend."
"Oh.. to hell with it! Goodbye!"
After explaining my frustrating experience to a County administrator, I was given a local number for the company involved. I called the number and a guy said: "Hey, how ya doin? What can I do for you?"
I told him my problem, he went away for one minute, came back and said, "is it ok now?" I checked, and it was. Total time for call and fix.. about two minutes.
04. Traffic cameras: We've talked before about speed cameras and red-light cameras.. now we have "rolling right turn" cameras. In Los Angeles, there now is a fine of over $400 for doing a rolling right turn. This must be a real money-maker, because it's hard for me to believe that the word has gotten out that you must make a full stop before making a right turn on a red light.
05. Air Traffic Controllers: They are getting younger and younger. Check out the youngster who gave instructions to several planes recently at the JFK Airport.(I know that President Reagan fired a lot of controllers years ago, but I didn't know that the Government had dropped the age requirement so they could hire more of them.)
06. Oink:Oink - This is the tenth anniversary of the successful cloning of a pig. (Name of Deli?)
07. IQ: An Israeli study has found that the lower a person's IQ is, the more likely that person is a heavy smoker. (Us former-smoker now-smart guys knew that already.)
08. Brushes: A lady named Dawn Stephens has invented an all-in-one toilet-bowl-cleaning brush. (My grandfather, Arthur Stephens Vaughan, in 1900, invented the all-in-one shoe brush, consisting of a "polish dauber" on the end of a handled "polishing brush.") If I could figure out how to put pictures on this blog, I would show what his prototype looks like today. I have it on display in my den.
09. Cursing: Nepal has an annual "cursing festival". One of the curses I like best is: "May your buffaloes all die of diarrhea!"
10. Fusion? Bloom Energy says they have developed a fuel cell that can generate energy without going through the process of combustion. More power to them!
11. Crabby? Marylanders love their crabs, but sometimes they get careless about getting them. Recently, Maryland environmental police found and pulled up over 1,500 abandoned or lost crab pots from inlets to the Chesapeake Bay. These pots endanger fish and crabs. I wonder what they did with any crabs (or their skeletons) found in these pots.
12. Exercise? I read that there is an aerobic exercise called "spinning"... please don't tell me what that is, I want to conjure up an image of this exercise... in my mind's eye.. just as I did years ago listening to the radio and visualizing the scene being described. Visualization is a great exercise for the brain.
... enough!
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