Cheer up!

Yesterday, I got very depressed during a police update on "gangs" so today I want to talk about a few things that I find cheering: my monthly AARP joke, "waddling carp", Mother's Day, and William Donald Schaefer.

I believe a joke is in the "public domain" unless someone can prove that they are the only one who ever thought of and developed it. I emcee'd the annual Senior Citizens Banquet for several years when it took place in Union Bridge, Maryland. One year, as part of my duties, I told four elaborate jokes with senior citizen themes. The audience seemed to enjoy them.

An hour later, the entertainer arrived. A gentleman who was, in effect, a "one man band", and in between sets told jokes. Guess what... his four jokes were the same jokes that I had just told. Coming in late, he, of course, did not know what I had said, and I didn't own the jokes. (The audience enjoyed them for a second time.)

In case you were not at the May 2009 AARP meeting, this is my monthly joke:

A guy was hurrying to get to a cafe before "Happy Hour" ended. There were no parking places to be had. As he drove around and around, he got very frustrated and decided to pray for help.

"Lord, if you find me a parking place, I will go to church every Sunday for a whole year!"

He drove around some more.. still no parking place. So he prayed again:

"Lord, if you find me a parking place, I will also say the Rosary every night for a year!"

Still no space.. but then, all of a sudden, a car drove away and a nice wide space opened up. The man prayed again:

"Lord, never mind. I found one on my own!"

FISH: The Carroll County Times (Maryland) had a couple of remarkable pictures of giant carp "waddling" through shallow water foraging for food. The carp are half in and half out of the water. Is this evolution in action? ;0)

I'm reminded of the time one of my kids let the water in the goldfish bowl get so low that the poor fish was half in and half out, just like the carp. (Thankfully, that kid is now grown up and is a fantastic caring person for all kinds of creatures.)

Years ago, when my kids were very young, and gas was cheap, we would go on Sunday drives. One of the favorite places we would like to go to was the Loch Raven Reservoir where giant carp resided. We would take a couple of loaves of bread and the kids would have a ball feeding these voracious fish. I wonder if they remember this. (The kids, not the fish.)

MOTHER'S Day: The burning question: Does an apostrophe come before or after the S?

Just a reminder. We should all remember our mothers every day of the year, but especially on the one that is set aside for that purpose. By the looks of the traffic yesterday at the local mall, lots of people are doing their duty.

WILLIAM DONALD SCHAEFER:

I read that former Governor Schaefer has, at 87, just received a pacemaker. I hope that this device allows him to have many more years of life.

I'm told that he now resides in Charlestown, a local continuing care community in an historic Baltimore setting. I have several friends who reside there as well, and they seem to enjoy it.

Once, many years ago, my late wife and I were visiting Baltimore's Harbor Place. After a lot of walking, we sat down on a large bench in one of the buildings to rest, next to an older man. As we sat there, we noticed a sign over the bench that said that the bench was reserved for Mayor (at the time) Schaefer whenever he was in the building. We then took a good look at the man we were sitting next to: yes, it was Mayor Schaefer. He was very gracious and talked to us for some time.. and didn't even ask us to leave his bench.

Another time, I went to the Engineers Club building in Mount Vernon Square, Baltimore to attend a Computer Users meeting. It was my first time attending. The Engineers Club building is a wonderful mansion with an atrium, massive staircases, marvelous statues, etc. I was met at the door by an elegantly attired doorman. He bowed and asked me if I was there for the "function." I assumed he meant "meeting", so I said "yes." He gave me directions on how to get to the "function."

I ascended one of the massive staircases, walked past the marvelous statues and arrived at a group of people filing past an enormous buffet, with food that I had rarely seen in my lifetime. I thought: "These Computer Users really know how to put on a spread!" .. and I helped myself.

As I began to eat, I noticed that some of my fellow buffet mates looked quite familiar... especially one of them: Mayor Schaefer. I also noted several people whose faces I recognised from the newspaper and television. Some of them even shook my hand and said "Hello." (I did have a nice suit and tie on.) Eventually it dawned on me that I was at the wrong "function", and slipped slowly downstairs (but not before I finished my caviar!) I found my meeting group in the building's basement.

I always thought that Mr. Schaefer was a great mayor. One of the things that I liked about him I have already written about, but I think it bears repeating. Whenever someone would call him directly about a problem (and he sometimes had an open phone) he would handle the problem as in this example: Someone called and said there was a giant pothole in front of their house. Mayor Schaefer called his maintenance people in and said: "Fill in the pothole." But, he would not tell them where it was. !

Once, when Mr. Schaefer was between jobs, he was honored by the Toastmasters organization. At the ceremony, Mr. Schaefer said that it was the first time that he was on his own.. for years he had been chaufered here and there and other people bought his food for him and shopped for clothes for him, now he had to do it himself, and he recounted his experiences in a Super Market, where he had not been for many many years. He gave a funny account of how he interacted with the conveyor belt and scanner .. and how he learned how to pay for things with a credit card. He is a very entertaining speaker.

I hope that Governor Schaefer has many more years ahead of him.