30 degrees yesterday, 70 degrees today.. wow!
"I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens.
And that is why I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons." Ogden Nash
I mean, of course, the Republicans... only kidding.. kind of.
Well, let's see if I can find 12 weird things to talk about:
01. Personalized Salad?
Scientists at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, have found traces of an algae virus in people's throats. We've known for years that some plant viruses replicate themselves in insects, but not in animals. However, now we may have to rethink that knowledge, because the scientists think that there may be a link between an algae virus and human brain functions, especially like attention spans.
02. Home Invasions?
Harper's Index tells us that the average number of SWAT raids carried out per day in Maryland since 2009 is 4.5. I assume the police had probable cause and got permission from the courts. I wonder where these raids were held. In Baltimore? Frederick? Westminster? I would like to see more information on this situation, because since I run the local TRIAD group, I am very interested in such statistics.. and this statistic bothers me.
03. Wipe your nose!
Chuck Shepherd remarks in Funny Times: Apparently, some folks are interested in the stress level of whales, and lie in wait for a whale to blow snot out of its blowhole, for indelicate human examination. However, some engineering researchers are working on a more civilized collection method: radio-controlled, mucus-trapping drones.
04. Shame Shame!
Officials in Tuszyn, Poland, have decided that a pants-less Winnie the Pooh is inappropriate for a children's playground. While debating the issue, one town councilman posited that he thought that Pooh doesn't wear underpants because he doesn't have sex and is an hermaphrodite. I guess they will also reject Donald Duck.. but I think Mickey Mouse will be ok.
05. Cluck Cluck!
Apparently, there is not as much TV in Britain for Senior Citizens to watch, so Health Departments have decided that they need something to do to keep senior brains active. So, now, senior citizens can get free chickens to care for. This should keep those synapses working.
06. Coo Coo!
According to Monica Hoose and Carolyn Naifeh, a few years ago, a Baltimore man was arrested for stealing 70 homing pigeons. Police found some of them inside his pants. Thomas Waddell was waddling along in bulging pants. An officer approached Thomas, and he began pulling pigeons from his pants. He pulled out 21 live pigeons and 5 dead ones.
07. Didn't I tell you to Wipe Your nose?!
Internet information: You produce a quart of mucus in your nose each day.
08. Christmas Gifts?
The New York Times says: "Shop our Holiday 2014 Preview for CollectiblesYou'll Treasure."
For example:
Vintage Rolex Watches: $3,200. (From 1970's and 1980's)
Restored Typewriter: $950. (1950's)
Stadium Infield Dirt from all 30 Ballparks: $249.
Red Crocodile Jewelry Boxes: $1,600 (Andaluz)
09. Dumb Criminal
Chuck Shepherd says that a young man in Northern Ireland entered a supermarket, put a plastic garbage bag over his head and waited in line to get to a cashier. However, he soon got tired of waiting and left, saying: "I'll be back." He didn't get back.. he got arrested instead.
10. Another Dumb Criminal
This guy tried to rob some folks by holding up a Xerox copy of a pistol.
11. Oodles of Noodles
The Week: A Chinese restaurant owner recently confessed to mixing opium with his noodles, to keep the customers coming back. One of those customers tested positive for drugs during a routine traffic stop just after he had had a nice noodle meal. Other customers tested positive and so police were able to figure out what had happened.
12. I've always said that drinking beer makes you smarter!
The Week: A recent study found that a flavonoid found in hops and beer made mice smarter. Sounds good! However, for humans to get the same Mensa effect, they would have to drink 3,500 pints of beer each every day. A bit much, unfortunately.
........................................................
That's my 12.. bye bye.
.......................................................
No comments:
Post a Comment