Wednesday, November 26, 2014

Swinburne; Thanksgiving; Macy's Parade; New Bedford's Parade; Height; Underwear; Language; Pick Pockets; Air

Snow: 3 inches.  Winter is here.


"From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no man lives forever,
That dead men rise up never;
 That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea."


The Garden of Proserpine by Algernon Charles Swinburne (1837-1909)


Much to think of there...  and, to give you something more to talk about tomorrow at the "groaning" Thanksgiving table, think on these things:


01. Here comes the parade!


The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is watched in person by 3 and 1/2 million people in New York City.  For a good seat to watch from, one can reserve a hotel room (according to the New York Times.)


The Quinn Hotel on 57th St and Av of the Americas:  offers s parade-view room and access for two to the balloon-inflating festivities.. for $1,249 a night, with a three night minimum.


The Mandarin Oriental New York Hotel, at Columbus Circle, offers a room, plus a photo booth (whatever that is) and cookie decorating.  Their price is only $1,125 per night with a two night minimum.


The New York Hilton Midtown, on the Av of the Americas, offers rooms at $549 with a three night minimum, but folks will have to view the parade in an outside viewing area.


The Trump International Hotel and Tower New York, on Central Park West offers a room and a lanyard pass that allows private street access to the parade. (Three nights minimum for $1,400.)


If its ok with you, if I need a parade fix, I'll just turn on TV.  A lot cheaper, and I'm sure parade views are much better. 


02.  There goes the parade!


As a street urchin in New Bedford, Massachusetts, I was always scrambling to make a buck.  We were poor and I was able to help quite a bit.. I had a double sized paper route for years.. I mowed the grass for all the neighbors.. I shoveled everybody's snow..  I helped "put up" and "take down" circus tents.. I manned ring toss booths at festivals.. I swept the floor of a nearby drug store.. I collected paper to convert to cash.. I sold peanuts at sports events.. I spent 4am to 7am six days a week delivering milk.. and all of that was my job history before I went into 7th grade. 


Hey, we all had to work hard back then.  Times were rough.


In 1948, New Bedford celebrated it's Centennial with festivals and parades.  One of the parades was going to include something new... air filled comic characters and animals.  Once these balloons were filled, they would need humans to hold the ropes so they did not float away.  An advertisement went out that young men were needed for that job and would be paid $10 each for their efforts.  Wow!  A chance to earn what was a lot of money in those days.


So, I took my 14 year old body to the parade preparation area and volunteered to work.  They gave me ropes to hold to keep a character up in the air (I think it was Mickey Mouse).  It was a windy day, and holding those ropes was a hard job.  Some of the kids had to give up and give their ropes to bigger boys to include with the ones they already had.


I stuck it out for the 2 hour parade through most of New Bedford.  The vision of a ten dollar bill kept me going, even though my hands were in tough shape from holding the ropes. 


Finally, the parade was over.   Somebody came up and deflated the balloons, I can't remember how.  Now, it was time to get our pay...  but who was going to pay us kids?  Everybody we asked denied that they were involved.  The balloon guys were tough looking big men and we knew that they could knock us silly if we confronted them.  So.. lesson learned.. when it comes to money.. don't trust anybody you don't know.  


03. How's the weather up there?


Today, at the Giant Grocery Store, as I waited in a checkout line, a head suddenly appeared over the 6 foot high partition.  A giant!  This guy had to be maybe 8 feet tall, easily.  When you are a short guy like me who has lost 4 inches in height that I couldn't afford to lose, everybody looks like they are basketball stars compared to me.


I'm sure that now you have seen the picture of the world's tallest man shaking hands with the world's smallest man.  Chandra Bahadur Dangi is 21 1/2 inches tall;  Sultan Kusen is 8 1/4 feet tall  or 99 inches.  Quite a spread.


I was reading something yesterday about Great Britain in World War I.  Britain's draft accepted men who were 5 feet 2 inches or taller.  If you were shorter than that, they handed you a shovel and gave you a job shoveling defensive tunnels in case of invasion.


Remember my friend Alan's story about when he was waiting in line at a theater in Ocean City, Maryland?  He was standing behind a very tall person; Alan is 5 feet 4 inches tall.   Alan tapped the tall man on his knee and asked him: "Hey, Mister, do you play basketball?"


The tall man turned and bent down to reply to Alan: "No. Do you play miniature golf?"


04.  Hot stuff.


Speaking of Ocean City, did I mention that a drunken woman was arrested there two weeks ago for throwing a bottle through the front window of a salon?  Anyway, while she was in jail, she took her panties off and draped them over the plastic telephone on the wall and set them on fire.  The phone melted.


05. Facility with Language.


This is a poem by a Jamaican American (on TED, I believe):


I'm articulate.
I'm tri-lingual.
On my resume:
English/Hoodspeak/Family


06.  Frustrating to Crooks.


The Clothing Arts Company (clothingarts.com) is offering pick-pocket proof trousers.  Each pair has 10 pockets, 5 of which are doubly secure and two back pockets that are triply secure. 


Somebody reported that The Chicago Tribune wrote about the pants: "You'll feel so emboldened, you'll want to wander through a crowd of grubby street urchins."

07.  Take a deep breath!


The Baltimore-based Royal Farms gas stations are being sued for charging for air. Supposedly, Baltimore air is free and Royal Farms may have to reimburse those air customers who have paid in the last 12 years and provide air free now and forever, because: "It's air, for goodness sakes!" says a Towson Attorney.
................................................


Ok, let's take a breather now.

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