The Earth is shrinking

I read where more and more companies are outsourcing their help and information desks. The "still on the best seller list" book about the "Flat Earth".. gives lots of examples about how our earth is shrinking.. and how, when you talk to someone you would normally think was in the US.. they may be in Banglador or other exotic places. Some of the telephone folks may even take American sounding names.

Please do not take it as though I am picking on any person in another country, but there are some amusing situations that take place when the person you are consulting has only scant idea about Americanisms and American locations.

For example, some time ago, I called a major company's help telephone number to ask for the status of an order. The person on the phone asked me for my address: I said: "Westminster, Maryland" Reply: "There is no Westminster." I said: "It is near Baltimore". Reply: "Sorry, I don't know about Baltimore." I said: "It is in Maryland, a State in the United States." Reply: "Sorry, I do not have a Maryland on my list." I said: "It should be right next to Massachusetts (spelled out)." Reply: "Oh, now I see .. 'Mary' 'Land'" ...

Once we got that straightened out and got to street address, he could not understand "Drive" which is part of my address. His list of possible address words showed: Avenue, Street, and Road.. but not Drive. So, frustrated, I finally hung up and eventually what I was waiting for did show up.

Another example: Elaine called the order number for a major Ladies' outfitter: She asked a question and the answerer started to read from a prepared script that was related to a keyword in her question... she interupted him and asked for more detail.. he replied "OK" and began to read the same prepared script..from the top.. after three more times she realized that he must be a computerized foreigner who could not figure out how to divert from the text of his script. (The script words probably satisfy 95% of the people who call up with a similar question.) She hung up, frustrated.

My last example: One of my Internet providers has started to put graphic advertising when you try to access your email.. this slows things down perceptively.. and when they do that, I cannot access my email even though I have an "always on" cable modem hookup.
I called the 800 help number for the provider and a voice said: "Hello, this is Bob, what is your name?" I replied: "Joe". Bob said: "'ello, Joe, whad can I do for you?" I replied: "Bob, I have a problem getting my email." Bob said: "Joe, do you 'ave Dial-up or DSL?"
I said: "Bob, I have a cable hook-up." Bob said: "Joe, whad is gabel?" I said: "Bob, could you get me your supervisor to talk to?" Bob said: "O Gay, Joe. 'ave a nize day."

The next voice said: "'ello, Joe, this is Barbara.. do you 'ave Dial-up or DSL?"
I said: "Barbara, I have cable." Barbara said: "Joe, whad is gabel? I don't understand gabel." I hung up.. frustrated again.

I am rereading one of Steve Allen's books (Dumbst!) and if he were alive today he would get a kick out of interactions like the ones I mentioned above.