Overcast with an occasional thunderstorm and torrential rains. Nice Sunday to do the New York Times Crossword.
"Men, because of a tragic genetic flaw, cannot see dirt until there is enough of it to support agriculture." Dave Barry (Funny Paper)
01. Sexy Senior Citizens
Wait, wait, don't Tell me: Governor DaVol Patrick of Massachusetts said that when he was visiting a nursing home, a rather elderly lady came up real close to him and said: "I'm a cougar."
Governor Patrick said he wasn't sure what she was talking about and said: "Good. And I'm a Leo."
02. $ Incentive
WWDTM: Russian banks, to get more money into the system, are offering cats to people who request loans. The cats are only lent to the people.. they have to give them back when they finally pay off their loans. (If the cat should die, Mr. Putin will probably require you to take out another loan to cover the cost of the cat.)
03. Survivor Extraordinaire
New York Times: Werner Franze died at age 92 this week. As a 14 year old cabin boy in 1937, he was cleaning dishes on the Hindenberg zeppelin, when it erupted in flames in New Jersey. He spotted a hatch, kicked it open, and when the ground was close enough, he jumped out and ran away. He suffered no ill effects, and lived a long and productive life thereafter... except for a mandatory stint in the German Luftwaffe during World War II.
04. Perception
Elaine and I were talking about perception and how your childhood experiences color how you handle situations as an adult. That reminded me of this story:
Two Irish ladies lived next door to a notorious House of Ill Repute. One day, as they were sitting on their front porch, they noticed the local minister walking by, looking around, and carefully going into the front door of the House next door. Mrs. Leary said to Mrs. Riley: "Ain't that disgusting.. a so-called man of God patronizing a whore house!" "Aye, that it is," agreed Mrs. Riley, shaking her head.
A couple of hours later, they observed Father Thomas walking by and heading to the House next door. Carefully looking around, he walked through the front door.
Mrs. Leary said to Mrs. Riley: "My.. there must be somebody very ill in that house."
05. A Great Baltimorean!
Carroll County Times: Have you ever heard of Gus Brunn? Well, you should of. He was a great man. He is the guy who invented Old Bay seasoning for Maryland crabs!
06. Clickety Clack
WWDTM: Ruppert Murdock wants his newspaper workers to be comfortable, so he has had a giant loudspeaker installed in the newsroom of the London Times. From the speaker comes the typewriter noise that nobody hears anymore. Mr. Murdock thinks that it will make his workers feel like they are in a real (1939 type) office.
07. Master Spy Dead
New York Times: Spy family leader, John A. Walker, Jr, died at the age of 77 in a North Carolina Federal prison where he was serving a life sentence. He had run a very successful spy ring for 20 years.. with his son and brother and a friend. They were all caught in the 1980's. John's son served 20 years and was released. His friend has over 300 years to go. I don't know about his brother.
They had a very lucrative business going in supplying Russia with Cryptographic information. (I worked with crypto stuff for a few years in Germany, but nobody approached me with a money offer. Besides, my orders were to "shoot to kill any Russians who infiltrated my perimeter."
Luckily, they stayed away and I didn't have to kill anybody or wound myself in trying to figure out how to shoot my "burp gun."
08. New Credit Report Agency
New York Times: Apparently there is a new credit reporting agency: INNOVIS. Where have I been? I've never heard of it. So, now you need to interrogate four agencies to make sure nobody is hacking your information and using it to get credit cards and such.
09. Libertarians
New York Times: Two persons have sent letters to the NYT recently about Libertarianism.
CM says: Libertarianism is the belief in the abilities of individuals over bureaucratic entities, be they corporations or governments. It is the belief in limiting the power those groups can exert over individuals."
AK says: "While keeping the government out of your life might sound fine when you're 25 and healthy, it may not be so great at 70... I find libertarians to be rather heartless when it comes to providing for those less fortunate. Do libertarians really believe that we don't need to provide food stamps, heating assistance or care for the elderly and disabled?"
10. *Crime .. A New Weapon
Carroll County Times: A new weapon has appeared in the arsenal of those who feel they must hurt their fellow humans. A 12' long metal chain was thrown at the victim's shoulders, as the perpetrator ran away. At least it wasn't the usual machete or kitchen carving knife.
11. Mr. Peepers
Carroll County Times: A 48 year old man was arrested for being a "peeping Tom" at the Columbia, Maryland Mall. Detectives say that the "peeper" followed girls into a ladies room and attempted to look at their genitalia. He supposedly did this 31 times in a 2 hour period. How did they know this?
This poor nut sounds desperate.. hurry up and buy him an anatomy book. I wonder if he is related to the Johns Hopkins doctor who secretly photographed the private parts of his female patients for several years. Some more reasons why sex education should be taught in our schools!
12. Tomatoes?
Baltimore Sun: In Burrol, Spain, the populace was at it again this week.. throwing ripe tomatoes at each other in a fun time called La Tomatina. Yearly, one hundred tons of tomatoes are thrown and everybody loves it. But.. why do they do this? Couldn't they sell some of it? Maybe they do. Does your spaghetti sauce taste different lately?
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