"I believe in Michael Angelo, Velasquez, and Rembrandt; in the might of design, the mystery of color, the redemption of all things by Beauty everlasting, and the message of Art that has made these hands blessed." The Doctor's Dilemma (1906) GBS
Well, have you decided if the wedding dress is blue and black or white and gold?
Ahhhh! Ain't life great!
Right now, the Republicans are fighting with each other, trying to figure out how to salvage some good out of giving in and funding our Homeland Security folks. I understand that the House Speaker has locked all the reps up and will not let them out until they have figured out what to do. Well, they've been in tight places before.. and they still have 5 hours to go.
I think that I want to talk about something that is bothering me right now.. and not much really bothers me these days, now that I'm an old dude. I expect that people who live in the Senior compound with me, kind of think the way I do.. in other words, they have lived long enough and have had experiences enough to realize the absurdities of life and have learned to relax and get along with everyone.. because everyone at our ages have probably suffered the same absurdities as we have.
So the following exchange surprised and bothered me:
Joe: Hi! So how was it down in Florida this year, away from the snow and cold?
Neighbor: Oh.. it was nice and warm.
Joe: Maybe I'll try to save some money this year so Elaine and I can spend some time down there next year.
Neighbor: Oh.. you won't like it. It's not very nice anymore.
Joe: Why not?
Neighbor: (putting her finger on her cheek) There are too many black people. They are everywhere.
Joe: Does that mean that the weather is not nice anymore or the ocean water is real cold?
Neighbor: (missing the sarcasm) I don't think I'll go back there next year.
Joe: (under my breath) I don't think you'll be missed.
..............................................................................................
This reminded me of an exchange that my late wife had with a neighbor child:
Miss Elaine: Hi, Lisa. How was your first day back at school?
Lisa: I have a new teacher.
Miss Elaine: Is she nice?
Lisa: Miss Elaine, she's black.
Miss Elaine: But is she nice?
Lisa: Miss Elaine, she's black.
......................................................................................
Lisa is learning to be a bigot, based on her family's attitudes. Perhaps she may learn to think on her own later...
.......................................................................................
I also worry about bigoted people who home-school their kids. (The parents of 19 kids and counting do not appear to be bigots, but I wonder how their kids will learn about other people who do not think like they do.)
.........................................................................................
Shocked by the usage by McDaniel College students of "the N word", the college has conducted some sensitivity training.
.........................................................................................
I'm a little surprised at the florist grandmother who refuses to sell flowers for the wedding of a gay couple, even though she has sold flowers to one of the men before, for other occasions. She pleads her case by saying the Bible says a marriage is between a man and a woman. Law suits are being prepared and the case may end up in the Supreme Court. In my view, this is like Southern café owners refusing to service black customers. Grandma is violating these guys' civil rights.
I need to study this.. what about those restaurant owners who reserve the right to refuse service to anyone... like drunks....?
.......................................................................................
A lot for my poor Mensa mind to think about.
.......................................................................................
Friday, February 27, 2015
Thursday, February 19, 2015
Casterbridge; Thomas Hardy; Lowell and Pluto; Dope and his Bag; New PC; Budding Chemist; Rene Ricard; COLD Weather.
More Trivia
01. English Lit 101
I just finished reading The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy (1840-1928) and was struck by a very perceptive paragraph, showing the "small town" mentality of certain citizens of this mini-metropolis:
"That Mr. Farfrae 'walked with that bankrupt Henchard's step-daughter, of all women" became a common topic in the town, the simple perambulating term being used hereabout to signify a wooing; and the nineteen superior young ladies of Casterbridge, who had each looked upon herself as the only woman capable of making the merchant Councilman happy, indignantly left off going to the church Farfrae attended, left off conscious mannerisms, left off putting him in their prayers at night amongst their blood relations; in short, reverted to their natural courses."
I believe that Masterpiece Theatre ran this story as a serial some time ago. I plan to try to get a copy for myself. It's a good "read" IMHO and is probably a good "watch."
02. Heavenly Body
Mars canals loving Percival Lowell obsessively searched the skies for a ninth planet. But this planet was instead found in 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh. The name of the mysterious planet is Pluto, to honor Percival by its first two letters PL. Nowadays, Pluto is no longer considered a planet... but I still like to think it is.
03. A Dope
Allow me to repeat a story that I like. A Carroll County Maryland State Trooper stopped a young man for a moving violation and asked to see his license. The driver nervously emptied his pockets looking for it and a plastic bag fell out. On the front of the bag was the word "DOPE" printed in ink.
04. New PC
Today, I had an hour to kill and visited an Office Depot store in Reisterstown, Maryland. A Laptop/Tablet PC was on sale and I couldn't resist it. The laptop that I ran over and the laptop that I dropped from a great height are too big to keep by the kitchen table, and my cell phone set up is too small and the rest of these machines are used for Kindle purposes and Crossword Puzzle googling. This PC is just right to address the 100+ emails that come in every day.
The salesman tried to give me the "bait and switch" maneuver, but I was adamant and prevailed.
I asked when Staples would be taking over Office Depot.. he didn't have a clue about what I was talking about. Am I wrong about this.. I am a Staples stock holder and need to know.
05. Future Chemist?
Elaine's granddaughter, Lily, was the subject of a cell phone video today. She was filmed causing a Mount Vesuvius eruption in the kitchen sink, which expelled lots of green lava. Very interesting.
06. Another "Celebrity" brought up in the New Bedford, Massachusetts area
Albert Napoleon Ricard was born in Acushnet, Massachusetts and after graduating from Junior High School, made his way to New York and changed his name to Rene Ricard and became a kind of protégé of Andy Warhol. He also became a movie star, a poet, an art critic, and a painter. Warhol called him "the George Sanders of the Lower East Side, the Rex Reed of the art world." Some day I may get interested enough to read more about his life, but not right now.
Tonight, it is COLD in Westminster, Maryland. Wind chill is well below zero. I will have to let the faucets drip so the pipes don't freeze up. This year, it seems as though we are getting the weather here that I remember from my youth in Massachusetts. And.. now Massachusetts is getting much colder and snowier weather than when I was a kid. Global warming deniers will have a lot of ammunition this year.
Bye..... keep warm, y'all.
...................................................................
01. English Lit 101
I just finished reading The Mayor of Casterbridge by Thomas Hardy (1840-1928) and was struck by a very perceptive paragraph, showing the "small town" mentality of certain citizens of this mini-metropolis:
"That Mr. Farfrae 'walked with that bankrupt Henchard's step-daughter, of all women" became a common topic in the town, the simple perambulating term being used hereabout to signify a wooing; and the nineteen superior young ladies of Casterbridge, who had each looked upon herself as the only woman capable of making the merchant Councilman happy, indignantly left off going to the church Farfrae attended, left off conscious mannerisms, left off putting him in their prayers at night amongst their blood relations; in short, reverted to their natural courses."
I believe that Masterpiece Theatre ran this story as a serial some time ago. I plan to try to get a copy for myself. It's a good "read" IMHO and is probably a good "watch."
02. Heavenly Body
Mars canals loving Percival Lowell obsessively searched the skies for a ninth planet. But this planet was instead found in 1930 by Clyde Tombaugh. The name of the mysterious planet is Pluto, to honor Percival by its first two letters PL. Nowadays, Pluto is no longer considered a planet... but I still like to think it is.
03. A Dope
Allow me to repeat a story that I like. A Carroll County Maryland State Trooper stopped a young man for a moving violation and asked to see his license. The driver nervously emptied his pockets looking for it and a plastic bag fell out. On the front of the bag was the word "DOPE" printed in ink.
04. New PC
Today, I had an hour to kill and visited an Office Depot store in Reisterstown, Maryland. A Laptop/Tablet PC was on sale and I couldn't resist it. The laptop that I ran over and the laptop that I dropped from a great height are too big to keep by the kitchen table, and my cell phone set up is too small and the rest of these machines are used for Kindle purposes and Crossword Puzzle googling. This PC is just right to address the 100+ emails that come in every day.
The salesman tried to give me the "bait and switch" maneuver, but I was adamant and prevailed.
I asked when Staples would be taking over Office Depot.. he didn't have a clue about what I was talking about. Am I wrong about this.. I am a Staples stock holder and need to know.
05. Future Chemist?
Elaine's granddaughter, Lily, was the subject of a cell phone video today. She was filmed causing a Mount Vesuvius eruption in the kitchen sink, which expelled lots of green lava. Very interesting.
06. Another "Celebrity" brought up in the New Bedford, Massachusetts area
Albert Napoleon Ricard was born in Acushnet, Massachusetts and after graduating from Junior High School, made his way to New York and changed his name to Rene Ricard and became a kind of protégé of Andy Warhol. He also became a movie star, a poet, an art critic, and a painter. Warhol called him "the George Sanders of the Lower East Side, the Rex Reed of the art world." Some day I may get interested enough to read more about his life, but not right now.
Tonight, it is COLD in Westminster, Maryland. Wind chill is well below zero. I will have to let the faucets drip so the pipes don't freeze up. This year, it seems as though we are getting the weather here that I remember from my youth in Massachusetts. And.. now Massachusetts is getting much colder and snowier weather than when I was a kid. Global warming deniers will have a lot of ammunition this year.
Bye..... keep warm, y'all.
...................................................................
Saturday, February 14, 2015
Valentines Day; Sleep Hours and Tips; Cursing kids; Marriage Joke; Average Height; Campaign Promises from Governor Hogan; Professor Powers Pointers
Happy Valentine's Day! Elaine and I exchanged cards and chocolates, and later will eat a special supper that we had delivered yesterday. Maryland Crabcakes... yum!
"Hail, Bishop Valentine, whose day this is,
All the air is thy Diocese."
John Donne (1571-1631)
Let me list a bit more trivia on this auspicious occasion:
01. Do you sleep well? (National Sleep Foundation)
Sleep hours recommended:
0-2 months: 10 1/2 to 18 1/2 hours
2-12 months: 14-15 hours
12-18 months: 13-15 hours
18 months to 3 years: 12-14 hours
3-5 years: 11-13 hours
5-12 years: 9-11 hours
12-18 years: 8 1/2 to 9 1/2 hours
18+ years: 7-9 hours
They also recommend trying the following tips:
o Maintain a regular bed and wake time routine.. even on weekends.
o Avoid stressful activities near bedtime, like working on the bills.
o Make the bedroom dark, quiet, comfortable and cool.
o Use blackout curtains if necessary.
o Use eyeshades or earplugs if necessary.
o Use white noise, ocean sounds, fan sounds if necessary.
o Don't eat two or three hours before bedtime.
o Try not to consume fluids close to bedtime.
o Exercise often.
o Avoid caffeine close to bedtime. (Coffee, tea, soft drinks, and chocolate.)
o Throw away your cigarettes, including the e ones.
o Avoid alcohol close to bedtime.
02. Children cursing. (Ann Landers)
A lady says that her 16 year old has started using curse words in the home. What can she do about that?
Ann says: The kid is trying to let you know he is grown up now. Once you let him know that people who have truly grown up do not usually curse, tell him that he will not be allowed to leave the house again, except for school, church and essential appointments until he has managed to go two weeks without uttering a curse word within your earshot. The main thing is to make him realize that you will not tolerate cursing while he lives in your home.
03. Classic Joke
A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a psychiatrist. The Doctor tells him that he has to develop self-esteem and gives him a book on assertive training.
He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the front door, and his wife comes to greet him, he tells her, "From now on I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want my dinner on the table. Now.. go upstairs and lay me some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the boys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"
She replies: "The Undertaker!"
04. I told you we were getting shorter! (Associated Press)
The United States had the tallest people in the world for years, but now it's in the middle of the pack. However, people who live in American cities are shorter that those who live in our rural areas. (Could that be somehow related to manure?)
Average Height by Country:
Filipinos: 5'4"
Chinese: 5'5"
Brazilians: 5'7"
Americans: 5'10"
Germans: 5'11"
Norwegians: 5'11"
Dutch: 6'
Well, I used to be slightly taller than an average Brazilian.. but now.. with so much age, I'm about even with an average Filipino. Maybe it's time to try Elevator shoes again. Years ago, when I was taller, I tried a pair.. but nobody believed I was suddenly almost 6 feet tall, so I gave it up.
Yesterday, at our NARFE meeting, someone brought a little baby and I was told "Hey, at last there is somebody shorter than you at our meeting."
Also, when I was in Air Force Basic Training, the Drill Instructor stared me right in the eyes and asked: "Do you know why you are so short?" I barked: "No, Sir!" He replied: "Well, it's because a rebel beat the *#$@ out of you!" "Yes, Sir!" I answered, and he went away. The funny thing was, he was even a few inches shorter than I was.
05. Campaign Promises?
Newly elected Maryland Governor Larry Hogan ran on a cost-cutting agenda, but of course, everybody felt that the cost cuts would not affect themselves. However, check this out:
o State employees, who after years of pay freezes, got a 2% cost of living adjustment in January, will lose the increase in July.
o State employees will not receive COLA or Merit Raises next year.
o K-12 Education will be cut by 50% based on a geographic formula.
o State Agencies will be cut 2% across the board.
06. Professor Powers' Pointers
Here are a few more vital things to think about .. from my Brother Joe in Ohio:
o Never argue politics while getting a haircut. Remember, the barber is waving sharp scissors about your head.
o If you get notification from Publishers Clearing House that you are a "finalist" in their sweepstakes, do NOT give up your day job.
o How do you know a political candidate is lying? His lips are moving.
o When choosing a proctologist, for God's sake, pick one with skinny fingers!
..................................................
That's enough for now. Bye!
"Hail, Bishop Valentine, whose day this is,
All the air is thy Diocese."
John Donne (1571-1631)
Let me list a bit more trivia on this auspicious occasion:
01. Do you sleep well? (National Sleep Foundation)
Sleep hours recommended:
0-2 months: 10 1/2 to 18 1/2 hours
2-12 months: 14-15 hours
12-18 months: 13-15 hours
18 months to 3 years: 12-14 hours
3-5 years: 11-13 hours
5-12 years: 9-11 hours
12-18 years: 8 1/2 to 9 1/2 hours
18+ years: 7-9 hours
They also recommend trying the following tips:
o Maintain a regular bed and wake time routine.. even on weekends.
o Avoid stressful activities near bedtime, like working on the bills.
o Make the bedroom dark, quiet, comfortable and cool.
o Use blackout curtains if necessary.
o Use eyeshades or earplugs if necessary.
o Use white noise, ocean sounds, fan sounds if necessary.
o Don't eat two or three hours before bedtime.
o Try not to consume fluids close to bedtime.
o Exercise often.
o Avoid caffeine close to bedtime. (Coffee, tea, soft drinks, and chocolate.)
o Throw away your cigarettes, including the e ones.
o Avoid alcohol close to bedtime.
02. Children cursing. (Ann Landers)
A lady says that her 16 year old has started using curse words in the home. What can she do about that?
Ann says: The kid is trying to let you know he is grown up now. Once you let him know that people who have truly grown up do not usually curse, tell him that he will not be allowed to leave the house again, except for school, church and essential appointments until he has managed to go two weeks without uttering a curse word within your earshot. The main thing is to make him realize that you will not tolerate cursing while he lives in your home.
03. Classic Joke
A mild mannered man is tired of his wife always bossing him around, so he decides to go to a psychiatrist. The Doctor tells him that he has to develop self-esteem and gives him a book on assertive training.
He reads it on the way home. When he walks through the front door, and his wife comes to greet him, he tells her, "From now on I'm the man of this home and my word is law. When I come home from work I want my dinner on the table. Now.. go upstairs and lay me some clothes on the bed because I'm going out with the boys tonight. Then draw my bath. When I get out of the tub, guess who is going to dress me and comb my hair?"
She replies: "The Undertaker!"
04. I told you we were getting shorter! (Associated Press)
The United States had the tallest people in the world for years, but now it's in the middle of the pack. However, people who live in American cities are shorter that those who live in our rural areas. (Could that be somehow related to manure?)
Average Height by Country:
Filipinos: 5'4"
Chinese: 5'5"
Brazilians: 5'7"
Americans: 5'10"
Germans: 5'11"
Norwegians: 5'11"
Dutch: 6'
Well, I used to be slightly taller than an average Brazilian.. but now.. with so much age, I'm about even with an average Filipino. Maybe it's time to try Elevator shoes again. Years ago, when I was taller, I tried a pair.. but nobody believed I was suddenly almost 6 feet tall, so I gave it up.
Yesterday, at our NARFE meeting, someone brought a little baby and I was told "Hey, at last there is somebody shorter than you at our meeting."
Also, when I was in Air Force Basic Training, the Drill Instructor stared me right in the eyes and asked: "Do you know why you are so short?" I barked: "No, Sir!" He replied: "Well, it's because a rebel beat the *#$@ out of you!" "Yes, Sir!" I answered, and he went away. The funny thing was, he was even a few inches shorter than I was.
05. Campaign Promises?
Newly elected Maryland Governor Larry Hogan ran on a cost-cutting agenda, but of course, everybody felt that the cost cuts would not affect themselves. However, check this out:
o State employees, who after years of pay freezes, got a 2% cost of living adjustment in January, will lose the increase in July.
o State employees will not receive COLA or Merit Raises next year.
o K-12 Education will be cut by 50% based on a geographic formula.
o State Agencies will be cut 2% across the board.
06. Professor Powers' Pointers
Here are a few more vital things to think about .. from my Brother Joe in Ohio:
o Never argue politics while getting a haircut. Remember, the barber is waving sharp scissors about your head.
o If you get notification from Publishers Clearing House that you are a "finalist" in their sweepstakes, do NOT give up your day job.
o How do you know a political candidate is lying? His lips are moving.
o When choosing a proctologist, for God's sake, pick one with skinny fingers!
..................................................
That's enough for now. Bye!
Thursday, February 12, 2015
Louis Armstrong; Russian good News; Caffeine; Rich Folks; Linotype Machine; Tristram Shandy; The Calm Act; WWI Action;
"All music is folk music.
I ain't never heard a horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong
Let's see if I can get another dozen weird things in again:
01. Good news? Forget it! (The Week)
A reporter for the Russian website tried to report only positive news stories for a day. This resulted in a dramatic drop in people who accessed the site and they had to go back to the usual tripe.
02. Caffeine (Bottom Line Health)
The FDA advises getting no more than 400 mg of caffeine a day. (Consumer Reports says that most adults can safely consume up to 400 mg per day; pregnant women up to 200 mg.)
The average US adult drinks about three cups of coffee a day, with up to 200 mg in an 8 ounce cup. (Decaf has about 12 mg per cup!)
Generic green tea has 67 mg in an 8 ounce cup of black tea and 43 mg from the equal amount of decaffeinated green tea.
Dark (yummy) chocolate has about 20 mg per ounce.
Excedrin provides 65 mg per tablet.
Hey.. good news: coffee drinkers get fewer gallstones. However, if you consume too much caffeine, you may suffer jitters, insomnia, rapid heart rate, abnormal heart rhythm and increased blood pressure.
03. Rich Folks (The Week)
There are 62,800 super wealthy persons in the US.. with a net worth of more than $50 million each, compared with other nations, such as China, at 7,600 and 5,500 in Germany. (Would it spoil some vast eternal plan, if I were a wealthy man?)
04. Baltimore's German Heritage Hero (German Society of Maryland)
Gutenberg's printing press needed a man to set type by hand and it was done that way for 400 years. Then Ottmar Mergenthaler, a member of the German Society of Maryland invented the linotype machine. With the linotype, newspapers swelled to hold lots more news. A school in Baltimore is named in his honor.. but I'll bet a majority of the students there haven't the faintest idea who Mergenthaler was.
05. Soporific (New Yorker)
I've mentioned in this blog before how a fellow worker at SSA let me borrow his favorite book Tristram Shandy, and how I tried to read it many times, and how it put me completely to sleep. I just learned that it was the basis for the movie of the same name, appearing in 2005. I think that I will try to download that movie and watch it very carefully, to honor the memory of my book loving friend.
06. Loud Ads? (Consumer Reports)
The Commercial Advertising Loudness Mitigation Act (CALM Act) took effect at the end of 2012 and requires that commercials have the same average volume as the show they accompany. If you think a broadcaster is violating the law, you can report them to the FCC at www.fcc.gov/complaints.
07. How unlucky can you be? (German Society of Maryland)
At one minute before 11 am on the day set for the end of World War I, Sgt. Henry Gunther attacked a German machine gun nest and was killed. He was the last American killed in World War I, and because he was a German American Marylander, he has been honored for years by German descendants in the Baltimore, Maryland area. The German who shot him, carried his body on a stretcher to the American lines and apologized for his unavoidable death.
Well.... that is enough for now, my friends.
.
I ain't never heard a horse sing a song."
Louis Armstrong
Let's see if I can get another dozen weird things in again:
01. Good news? Forget it! (The Week)
A reporter for the Russian website tried to report only positive news stories for a day. This resulted in a dramatic drop in people who accessed the site and they had to go back to the usual tripe.
02. Caffeine (Bottom Line Health)
The FDA advises getting no more than 400 mg of caffeine a day. (Consumer Reports says that most adults can safely consume up to 400 mg per day; pregnant women up to 200 mg.)
The average US adult drinks about three cups of coffee a day, with up to 200 mg in an 8 ounce cup. (Decaf has about 12 mg per cup!)
Generic green tea has 67 mg in an 8 ounce cup of black tea and 43 mg from the equal amount of decaffeinated green tea.
Dark (yummy) chocolate has about 20 mg per ounce.
Excedrin provides 65 mg per tablet.
Hey.. good news: coffee drinkers get fewer gallstones. However, if you consume too much caffeine, you may suffer jitters, insomnia, rapid heart rate, abnormal heart rhythm and increased blood pressure.
03. Rich Folks (The Week)
There are 62,800 super wealthy persons in the US.. with a net worth of more than $50 million each, compared with other nations, such as China, at 7,600 and 5,500 in Germany. (Would it spoil some vast eternal plan, if I were a wealthy man?)
04. Baltimore's German Heritage Hero (German Society of Maryland)
Gutenberg's printing press needed a man to set type by hand and it was done that way for 400 years. Then Ottmar Mergenthaler, a member of the German Society of Maryland invented the linotype machine. With the linotype, newspapers swelled to hold lots more news. A school in Baltimore is named in his honor.. but I'll bet a majority of the students there haven't the faintest idea who Mergenthaler was.
05. Soporific (New Yorker)
I've mentioned in this blog before how a fellow worker at SSA let me borrow his favorite book Tristram Shandy, and how I tried to read it many times, and how it put me completely to sleep. I just learned that it was the basis for the movie of the same name, appearing in 2005. I think that I will try to download that movie and watch it very carefully, to honor the memory of my book loving friend.
06. Loud Ads? (Consumer Reports)
The Commercial Advertising Loudness Mitigation Act (CALM Act) took effect at the end of 2012 and requires that commercials have the same average volume as the show they accompany. If you think a broadcaster is violating the law, you can report them to the FCC at www.fcc.gov/complaints.
07. How unlucky can you be? (German Society of Maryland)
At one minute before 11 am on the day set for the end of World War I, Sgt. Henry Gunther attacked a German machine gun nest and was killed. He was the last American killed in World War I, and because he was a German American Marylander, he has been honored for years by German descendants in the Baltimore, Maryland area. The German who shot him, carried his body on a stretcher to the American lines and apologized for his unavoidable death.
Well.... that is enough for now, my friends.
.
Monday, February 09, 2015
Weather Rules; NSA; Grandma's Ashes; Footprint; Furniture Replacement; Food Locations; The Improving Economy; Fluid Intake; Kim again; Exercise Benefit; Drone Attack; Orfeo; Coma? Too bad!
Red sky at dawning,
Sailor take warning.
Red sky at night,
Sailor's delight.
For years I have thought that this was a valid poem, but yesterday matters were reversed:
Early in the morning, at the dawning of the sun, the sky was the reddest I have ever seen it. Later in the day, we had a nice pleasant day. However, in the evening, the sky was once again filled with red color... and today.. it has been an overcast, dismal, rainy day.
Oh well.. never mind.. let me try to catch up a bit on my blogs by listing a dozen items to talk about (if I can):
01. Is NSA looking at me?
Today, I attended the second presentation of Great Decisions, and we talked about Privacy in the Internet Age. Extremely interesting to me.
David Scott, moderator, spoke about his 40 years experience at NSA, so I believe him when he says anything about the Government. Like him, I have 40 years experience in Government work, and am interested in anything he says about his job.
Is it true that only routing information is being held? For instance, if I call Germany, would my information (time, equipment out, equipment in) be held .. or would the actual words of my conversation be held... Dave says the former is true, and it makes sense to me, except that, based on my experience building keyword indices, more intelligence could be obtained from recording and reviewing actual voice correspondence. If correspondence is being data mined, then keywords can be used in order to pick important conversations, matches on specific keywords would be important .
02. A Different Type of Donation
The staff at the Fenton, Michigan Goodwill Store are trying to find the person who donated an urn containing grandma's cremated remains. They were neatly contained in a box labeled appropriately: Grandma's Urn."
03. Even Clouseau could have caught him. (The Week)
A while ago, Australian police captured an elusive disabled burglar. They were able to do this because the Spring thaw had made the ground a muddy mess and the burglar's one-legged footprints formed a neat map directly to him.
04. What a nerve! (The Week)
A Washington State man went into his neighbors' home while they were away and replaced their furniture with his own. He told police that he thought that his neighbors had abandoned their apartment.
The late Joan Rivers once said that a burglar broke into her home, stole all of her furniture and replaced it with exact duplicates. (Or was that Henny Youngman?)
05. Where did your supper come from?
Lila Jenkins (German Society of Maryland) says that the first two letters of a product barcode tells where it came from:
00-09 - USA
30-37 - France
40-44 - Germany
49 - Japan
50 - UK
3 letters show:
371 - Taiwan
690, 691, 692 - China
06. Conservatives don't want to give Credit to President Obama.
(So, what else is new?) The National Review in December 2014 admits that the economy appears to be gathering strength. Job growth and industrial production are up, oil prices are down and inflation remains subdued. And I quote: "Conservatives will naturally fear that the good news, if it lasts, will redound to the undeserved credit of President Obama and the Democrats...(but)... better policies would have made for a stronger and earlier recovery and would still have a positive effect."
07. Watch your Fluids! (Harvard Heart Letter)
If you have heart problems, your body may be retaining salt and water in an attempt to boost your blood volume. this causes fluid to build up throughout the body, leading to weight gain, swollen ankles and feet, and shortness of breath. So, some people need to restrict liquid input and have no more that 8 cups of fluid per day. What counts as fluid anyway?
Water
Juice
Soda
Gelatin
Soup
Milkshakes
Smoothies
Ice Cream
Sorbet
(one cup of these items equals a cup of liquid)
Ice Cubes - 1 cup = 1/2 cup of fluid
The following fruits and vegetables contain large amounts of liquid. One cup of each of these counts as a half-cup of liquid:
Cantaloupe
Grapefruit
Strawberries
Watermelon
Celery
Cucumber
Tomato
08. When the Moon comes over the Mountain.. revisited. (The Week)
Brian Moylan says in Time.com: "Yes, Kardashian has a big shiny butt that resembles 'a glazed Krispy Kreme doughnut,' and now we've all seen it. But'that is the end.. pun intended.. of it."
09. Good News if heeded. (Bottomline Health)
Kate Wolin (Loyola School of Medicine, Chicago) says that men who exercise just one hour a week may have a reduction in the need to get up twice or more during the night to urinate. (Hmmmm.)
10. Watch out for Drones! (The Week)
A drone was flying around a TGI Fridays in Brooklyn, when it spun out of control and nipped off the tip of a patron's nose with its propeller. Law suit is probably pending.
11. Beautiful Opera Music. (XM Radio)
While I am writing this blog, the Met Opera Radio station is playing a recording of a 1958 Met performance of Gluck's Orfeo ed Eurideci. (sp) Amazing music with Rise Stevens. (A different opera is aired every night at 7 pm.) It's not Mozart... but close.
12. Ohio Welfare Decision. (The Week)
An Ohio woman had her welfare benefits terminated after she failed to attend mandatory job-training sessions, because she was in a medically induced coma. I'm not surprised at anything coming out of Ohio after Speaker Boehner's arrival in Congress. (How can my long-lost brother survive in Ohio's stifling atmosphere?.. I know... I know.. it can't be all bad.)
Ok.. now my juices are stirred.. and I need to wrap up. A Dios, Muchacos.
.................................................................................................................................
Friday, January 30, 2015
Wagner; Drugs; Tights; Malarkey; Zip Code; RIP Woody; Drones; Satellites; Pet Phones; Bachman; Guns; Terrorist; Costly Laughs; Mugshot; Burger!
Hi! My XM Satellite Radio is on Met Opera Radio Channel 74 and is playing nice music from Lohengrin by Richard Wagner. It amazes me that a confirmed bigot like Wagner was able to produce such marvelously melodic music. Some of the top-graded Nazis loved his music. They wouldn't have liked it if Wagner had Jewish blood... although there were some rumors to that effect.
I read the other day that some German Generals were enjoying watching the horn-wearing fat ladies sing in Walhalla even as Russian troops were penetrating the outskirts of Berlin in one of the last days of World War II.
But.. as melodic as Wagner was.. he could never come close to equaling Herr Mozart.
Well.. that's enough of that .... let's see if I can come up with a dozen (probably unrelated) items of interest from the last couple of months.
01. Maybe the dumbest guy in jail.
If I remember correctly, a State Policeman stopped a car for a traffic violation. When the cop asked the driver to show him some identification, the guy pulled a baggie out of his pocket, in which there was a white powder, and on which was written in ink in big letters: DRUGS!
02. I get no satisfaction!
According to The Week magazine, a woman sued the manufacturer of Kushyfoot Shaping Tights because they didn't give her the "super-satisfied" feeling that was promised in their advertisements.
03. Behold! The Heavenly Hoax!
All of those folks who were feeling comfortable about their demise will now have to rethink it all, because Alan Malarkey has finally admitted that he made up the whole afterlife story outlined in: The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven. It was all just a bunch of malarkey!
04. Why do you need to know my zip code?
Watchit.. if you give your zip code to the clerk in a store when it is not necessary, the store may be able to sell it .. and I don't know how.. they may be able to get you on a junk mailing list.. (btw I love junk mail.. but that is a story for another time).. However, you may need to provide a zip code when you use a credit card at an untended gasoline pump.. its an added security measure.
05. Rest In Peace, Woody.
Today, I attended the funeral of my friend, Ralph Wood, alias Woody. Woody passed away after suffering illness for six months. Woody worked at the Social Security Administration for many years and was a member of my Carroll County Chapter of the Social Security Alumni Association. He was also a fellow member of the Carroll County Chapter of the National Active and Retired Federal Employees.
Woody's wife, Val, had chosen a coffin with the same color and look of the Corvette that he cherished for many years. It also had the number "3" emblazoned on its lid.. that number having importance to car guys like Woody.
One of his friends gave a eulogy and mentioned how when his daughter was born and was to be baptized at home, the preacher forgot to bring holy water.. so, Woody reached into his pants pocket and brought out a small bottle of Kentucky moonshine, which was used appropriately, in place of the holy water.
06. Harper's Index Items
These are from Harper's Magazine for May 2011 (Yes, I'm a little behind in some of my reading.)
(Drones) A minimum of 600 people were killed by CIA drone attacks in Pakistan in 2010. (Think about that!)
(Satellites) There are at least 22,000 man-made objects orbiting earth. (Including Space Station waste?)
(Pet Phone) On my 77th birthday, a U.S. patent was issued for a phone with which pets can call their owners.
(Jailbird) The youngest person facing life without parole in the U.S. in 2011 was 13. (And I'll bet that was in Texas.)
07. The Week Items
OK, well then here are some items from The Week magazine for December 2011. (Same excuse)
(Scholar) Michele Bachman said that if she became President, she would shut down the embassy in Iran. Unfortunately, the U.S. hasn't had an embassy in Tehran since the 1980 hostage crisis.
(Gun Control) A duck hunter from Utah disembarked to set some duck decoys. He left his loaded shotgun in the boat and his excited dog somehow discharged the gun, wounding him in his butt with 27 pellets of birdshot. (Serves his ass right!)
(Gun out of Control) On November 25, 2011, Americans bought at least 129,166 firearms... a record.
08. More items from The Week.. but from 2014
(Terrorist Tot) Atlanta school officials made a kindergartner sign a "safety contract" promising to not hurt herself or other kids.. after she pointed a crayon at a classmate and said "pew, pew". (The so-called school officials should be made to sign a "stop being stupid contract."
(LOL) A comedy club in Barcelona added 38 cents to customers' bills for every time they laughed. (I read that Jay Leno is doing stand-up again... the last monologue I watched him do would have not cost me one cent... he sure needed a new writer.)
(Mugwump) A woman in Ohio went into a police station to complain about her unflattering mug shot on their website. It had been posted because they were looking for her to charge her with robbery. Guess what?
(Birthday Burger) Ruby Tuesday emailed me a coupon for a free burger for my birthday. So... I want a Glamburger like they sell in London.. it is made with New Zealand venison and Kobe beef, topped with Iranian saffron, white truffle from Italy, and Beluga caviar from Russia. It's topped with a 24 karat gold leaf and sells for $1,800.
OK.. that's enough, I'm sure you will agree.
..............................................................................................................
I read the other day that some German Generals were enjoying watching the horn-wearing fat ladies sing in Walhalla even as Russian troops were penetrating the outskirts of Berlin in one of the last days of World War II.
But.. as melodic as Wagner was.. he could never come close to equaling Herr Mozart.
Well.. that's enough of that .... let's see if I can come up with a dozen (probably unrelated) items of interest from the last couple of months.
01. Maybe the dumbest guy in jail.
If I remember correctly, a State Policeman stopped a car for a traffic violation. When the cop asked the driver to show him some identification, the guy pulled a baggie out of his pocket, in which there was a white powder, and on which was written in ink in big letters: DRUGS!
02. I get no satisfaction!
According to The Week magazine, a woman sued the manufacturer of Kushyfoot Shaping Tights because they didn't give her the "super-satisfied" feeling that was promised in their advertisements.
03. Behold! The Heavenly Hoax!
All of those folks who were feeling comfortable about their demise will now have to rethink it all, because Alan Malarkey has finally admitted that he made up the whole afterlife story outlined in: The Boy Who Came Back from Heaven. It was all just a bunch of malarkey!
04. Why do you need to know my zip code?
Watchit.. if you give your zip code to the clerk in a store when it is not necessary, the store may be able to sell it .. and I don't know how.. they may be able to get you on a junk mailing list.. (btw I love junk mail.. but that is a story for another time).. However, you may need to provide a zip code when you use a credit card at an untended gasoline pump.. its an added security measure.
05. Rest In Peace, Woody.
Today, I attended the funeral of my friend, Ralph Wood, alias Woody. Woody passed away after suffering illness for six months. Woody worked at the Social Security Administration for many years and was a member of my Carroll County Chapter of the Social Security Alumni Association. He was also a fellow member of the Carroll County Chapter of the National Active and Retired Federal Employees.
Woody's wife, Val, had chosen a coffin with the same color and look of the Corvette that he cherished for many years. It also had the number "3" emblazoned on its lid.. that number having importance to car guys like Woody.
One of his friends gave a eulogy and mentioned how when his daughter was born and was to be baptized at home, the preacher forgot to bring holy water.. so, Woody reached into his pants pocket and brought out a small bottle of Kentucky moonshine, which was used appropriately, in place of the holy water.
06. Harper's Index Items
These are from Harper's Magazine for May 2011 (Yes, I'm a little behind in some of my reading.)
(Drones) A minimum of 600 people were killed by CIA drone attacks in Pakistan in 2010. (Think about that!)
(Satellites) There are at least 22,000 man-made objects orbiting earth. (Including Space Station waste?)
(Pet Phone) On my 77th birthday, a U.S. patent was issued for a phone with which pets can call their owners.
(Jailbird) The youngest person facing life without parole in the U.S. in 2011 was 13. (And I'll bet that was in Texas.)
07. The Week Items
OK, well then here are some items from The Week magazine for December 2011. (Same excuse)
(Scholar) Michele Bachman said that if she became President, she would shut down the embassy in Iran. Unfortunately, the U.S. hasn't had an embassy in Tehran since the 1980 hostage crisis.
(Gun Control) A duck hunter from Utah disembarked to set some duck decoys. He left his loaded shotgun in the boat and his excited dog somehow discharged the gun, wounding him in his butt with 27 pellets of birdshot. (Serves his ass right!)
(Gun out of Control) On November 25, 2011, Americans bought at least 129,166 firearms... a record.
08. More items from The Week.. but from 2014
(Terrorist Tot) Atlanta school officials made a kindergartner sign a "safety contract" promising to not hurt herself or other kids.. after she pointed a crayon at a classmate and said "pew, pew". (The so-called school officials should be made to sign a "stop being stupid contract."
(LOL) A comedy club in Barcelona added 38 cents to customers' bills for every time they laughed. (I read that Jay Leno is doing stand-up again... the last monologue I watched him do would have not cost me one cent... he sure needed a new writer.)
(Mugwump) A woman in Ohio went into a police station to complain about her unflattering mug shot on their website. It had been posted because they were looking for her to charge her with robbery. Guess what?
(Birthday Burger) Ruby Tuesday emailed me a coupon for a free burger for my birthday. So... I want a Glamburger like they sell in London.. it is made with New Zealand venison and Kobe beef, topped with Iranian saffron, white truffle from Italy, and Beluga caviar from Russia. It's topped with a 24 karat gold leaf and sells for $1,800.
OK.. that's enough, I'm sure you will agree.
..............................................................................................................
Wednesday, January 28, 2015
Snow and Blow; Trust Fund Transfers SSIDI; Taxes; UFOs; Eating while driving; Mozart and Haydn; Social Security; Arthritis;
Well, we missed the big snow blow that hit New Bedford, Massachusetts pretty hard, sticking out into the Atlantic the way it and Cape Cod do. Now, tomorrow, the excitable weather folks are warning of another "snow storm of the century". Come on, guys.. there has got to be other news that you can concentrate on. How about in depth reporting on the changes just made concerning Trust Fund transfers that will probably reduce SSIDI payments to people who really need it. And, why no reporting on the lack of tax increases for the wealthy 1%?
Well.. I have only 45 minutes.. let's see how much commentary I can come up with for a few items.
01. "They are probably monitoring our stupidity."
Information from the Air Force's "Project Blue Book" is now online, and folks who have read the information have found 700 "unidentified" objects from 1947 to 1969. If this piques your curiosity, check on current UFO "sightings" at www.MUFON.com. Very interesting.
02. Wait a minute... we can't do this? Are you serious?
According to The Week magazine, a Georgia man was ticketed for "distracted driving" while eating a hamburger. The cop was quoted as saying: "You can't just go down the road eating a hamburger."
I'll bet you can in France! "To hell with you, copper, I'll continue to eat as I drive. Try to stop me!"
03. Oh, Wolfie.. you rascal!
The BBC Music magazine writes about a bit of Mozart fun. He and Haydn once had a bet for a case of champagne. Haydn said that Mozart could not write anything that he, Haydn, could not play. Mozart called his bluff and wrote a piece of music that required the right hand to be playing at one end of the keyboard, while the left hand played at the other end.. and with a note to be played right in the middle of the keyboard. Can you play it? Haydn said: "Impossible." Mozart showed the skeptical Haydn by simply leaning forward and pressing the key with his nose. So.. Wolfie won the bet "by a nose." Unfortunately, the musical piece has been lost.
04. When to take Social Security.
When I worked in a District Office capacity at the Social Security Administration, I often answered letters from people who wanted to know if they should begin their Old Age benefits at age 62, or wait until age 65. One of those persons who wanted to know was my father in law. He had been a Republican business man who always thought that he would never want to take Social Security money.. he said that he didn't believe in it. I told him that he had contributed all of his working life and the money was there for him to use as he saw fit.
I finally convinced him to think about filing... he then wanted to know if he should take it now.. at age 62 or wait and get a larger amount at age 65. I convinced him to "take the cash and let the credit go," because who knew how long one would live. He did so and was so happy that he had a separate "small" check coming in each month that he could use for coffee and donuts and fishing line and other things.. that way, he never had to tap into his bank accounts.
Michael Silverstein has written a poem in the Progressive Populist. The title is When to Take Social Security. Michael writes that financial planners usually advise clients at 62 to wait until age 67 or 70, to get a larger monthly amount. Michael's poem goes:
Wen it comes to So. Security
All the experts seem to feel
Wait to take this pension money
That's the long-run better deal.
I ain't saying that their numbers
Aren't figured right or rigged
But another way to figure
To a poet's view I've twigged.
Take the cash said Omar Khayyam
And the credit due ignore
Cash today is spending money
When you wait the take ain't sure.
True at some time in the future
This approach may leave you broke
That's kinda sad but something sadder
Before that time arrives you croak.
Michael has written some satirical books of poetry, including: Songs of Wall Street, Beltway Follies and Street Verse. I can't wait to read a comic novel he has written: Fifteen Feet Beneath Manhattan. Check him out at www.wallstreetpoet.com.
05. Do your Joints Ache?
Elaine and I both have touches of arthritis. But, we both go to appointments with one of the nation's foremost arthritis experts. His name is Robert Shaw, MD and he is an instructor at Johns Hopkins, is on all kinds of medical boards related to his practice, which centers on Carroll County Maryland. We take his advice very seriously.
We have also read where local weather factors can increase arthritis pain. There is a place where you can get information on the weather where you live and the predicted daily joint-pain level.
www.ArthritisToday.org/Weather
There is also another place where you can find information on how arthritis is bothering you and can offer ways to treat and manage it. www.ArthritisToday.org/BodyPart.
OK.. my time is up. See Ya!
.........................................................................................
Well.. I have only 45 minutes.. let's see how much commentary I can come up with for a few items.
01. "They are probably monitoring our stupidity."
Information from the Air Force's "Project Blue Book" is now online, and folks who have read the information have found 700 "unidentified" objects from 1947 to 1969. If this piques your curiosity, check on current UFO "sightings" at www.MUFON.com. Very interesting.
02. Wait a minute... we can't do this? Are you serious?
According to The Week magazine, a Georgia man was ticketed for "distracted driving" while eating a hamburger. The cop was quoted as saying: "You can't just go down the road eating a hamburger."
I'll bet you can in France! "To hell with you, copper, I'll continue to eat as I drive. Try to stop me!"
03. Oh, Wolfie.. you rascal!
The BBC Music magazine writes about a bit of Mozart fun. He and Haydn once had a bet for a case of champagne. Haydn said that Mozart could not write anything that he, Haydn, could not play. Mozart called his bluff and wrote a piece of music that required the right hand to be playing at one end of the keyboard, while the left hand played at the other end.. and with a note to be played right in the middle of the keyboard. Can you play it? Haydn said: "Impossible." Mozart showed the skeptical Haydn by simply leaning forward and pressing the key with his nose. So.. Wolfie won the bet "by a nose." Unfortunately, the musical piece has been lost.
04. When to take Social Security.
When I worked in a District Office capacity at the Social Security Administration, I often answered letters from people who wanted to know if they should begin their Old Age benefits at age 62, or wait until age 65. One of those persons who wanted to know was my father in law. He had been a Republican business man who always thought that he would never want to take Social Security money.. he said that he didn't believe in it. I told him that he had contributed all of his working life and the money was there for him to use as he saw fit.
I finally convinced him to think about filing... he then wanted to know if he should take it now.. at age 62 or wait and get a larger amount at age 65. I convinced him to "take the cash and let the credit go," because who knew how long one would live. He did so and was so happy that he had a separate "small" check coming in each month that he could use for coffee and donuts and fishing line and other things.. that way, he never had to tap into his bank accounts.
Michael Silverstein has written a poem in the Progressive Populist. The title is When to Take Social Security. Michael writes that financial planners usually advise clients at 62 to wait until age 67 or 70, to get a larger monthly amount. Michael's poem goes:
Wen it comes to So. Security
All the experts seem to feel
Wait to take this pension money
That's the long-run better deal.
I ain't saying that their numbers
Aren't figured right or rigged
But another way to figure
To a poet's view I've twigged.
Take the cash said Omar Khayyam
And the credit due ignore
Cash today is spending money
When you wait the take ain't sure.
True at some time in the future
This approach may leave you broke
That's kinda sad but something sadder
Before that time arrives you croak.
Michael has written some satirical books of poetry, including: Songs of Wall Street, Beltway Follies and Street Verse. I can't wait to read a comic novel he has written: Fifteen Feet Beneath Manhattan. Check him out at www.wallstreetpoet.com.
05. Do your Joints Ache?
Elaine and I both have touches of arthritis. But, we both go to appointments with one of the nation's foremost arthritis experts. His name is Robert Shaw, MD and he is an instructor at Johns Hopkins, is on all kinds of medical boards related to his practice, which centers on Carroll County Maryland. We take his advice very seriously.
We have also read where local weather factors can increase arthritis pain. There is a place where you can get information on the weather where you live and the predicted daily joint-pain level.
www.ArthritisToday.org/Weather
There is also another place where you can find information on how arthritis is bothering you and can offer ways to treat and manage it. www.ArthritisToday.org/BodyPart.
OK.. my time is up. See Ya!
.........................................................................................
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Snow; Birds; Sarah Palin; President Obama; Relaxation
SNOW!!! A nice wet heavy snow.. lingering on the tree limbs and it looks very nice.. the guy next door is out shoveling his sidewalk... he is older than I am, and should be taking life easy. But, he is a nice guy .. and if he wants to play "macho man", that's ok with me.. but I'm not going to.
I talked to another friend earlier today, and he said that his wife was out shoveling... smart man.
"The snow had begun in the gloaming..." That damn "gloaming" again... today's snow was predicted for the morning rush hour... but it didn't show up until ten a.m. It just stopped about an hour ago so that our backyard deer can forage around while it is still light out. Or.. do deer have eyes like cats do? I doubt it.
Hundreds of birds were jumping all over our feeder set up today. Getting their tummies full so they can survive for another month.
"Ou sont les neiges d'antan?" Yes, snow has this habit of looking great for a short time and then it melts... even in Alaska. Hey, I wonder how Sarah Palin is doing? Haven't heard from her for some time. Maybe she is still on Fox News..?
The President gave his State of the Nation Speech last night... I though it was a wonderful speech.. his best yet. However, listening to criticism from some callers on CSPAN this morning, I felt queasy in my stomach... this was the President of the United States of America, for crying out loud! Why would you want to insult him? However, he did have lots of people who agreed with what he said and thought that he said it very well.
I find it very easy to detect bigotry in the words that some callers used. It seems to me that they would not sound so bitter with life if they would just relax. "Let the good times roll!" The Market is way up; inflation is way down; gas prices continue to drop; I see "help wanted" signs around town; 7 weeks from now, it will be Spring again; "We should all be as happy as kings!"
A Dios, Muchachos.
I talked to another friend earlier today, and he said that his wife was out shoveling... smart man.
"The snow had begun in the gloaming..." That damn "gloaming" again... today's snow was predicted for the morning rush hour... but it didn't show up until ten a.m. It just stopped about an hour ago so that our backyard deer can forage around while it is still light out. Or.. do deer have eyes like cats do? I doubt it.
Hundreds of birds were jumping all over our feeder set up today. Getting their tummies full so they can survive for another month.
"Ou sont les neiges d'antan?" Yes, snow has this habit of looking great for a short time and then it melts... even in Alaska. Hey, I wonder how Sarah Palin is doing? Haven't heard from her for some time. Maybe she is still on Fox News..?
The President gave his State of the Nation Speech last night... I though it was a wonderful speech.. his best yet. However, listening to criticism from some callers on CSPAN this morning, I felt queasy in my stomach... this was the President of the United States of America, for crying out loud! Why would you want to insult him? However, he did have lots of people who agreed with what he said and thought that he said it very well.
I find it very easy to detect bigotry in the words that some callers used. It seems to me that they would not sound so bitter with life if they would just relax. "Let the good times roll!" The Market is way up; inflation is way down; gas prices continue to drop; I see "help wanted" signs around town; 7 weeks from now, it will be Spring again; "We should all be as happy as kings!"
A Dios, Muchachos.
Friday, January 16, 2015
Cold; Encyclopedias; Mortgage Refinancing; Ben Bernanke; Hitler; Citizens United
Cold.... how does one become a "snowbird" and vacation during January and February in Sarasota or Fort Lauderdale, Florida?
"A little rule, a little sway,
A sunbeam on a Winter's day,
Is all the proud and mighty have
Between the cradle and the grave."
John Dyer 1700?-1758
Yes, Baby, it's cold outside! But, don't despair, there are only 7 weeks to go before we can enjoy Spring again. Yesterday, a guy told me that he had seen crocus blooming! I planted hundreds of crocus bulbs during the past couple of years... not one came up. Why? Squirrels, I bet.
Hey, how many of you used to sell Encyclopedias? How many of you still have encyclopedias in your home? How many of you have ever looked something up on your encyclopedia?
At one time, it was a sign of upper middle class snobbery to have a set in your home. It was an expensive item that gave one a feeling of being in the knowledge nobility. Some college students may have even used them once in a while. Now we have Google and everybody is a noble genius, regardless of class.
Before I moved to my current location, I had to get rid of three or four sets of encyclopedias. But Yard Salers would not take them; my grandchildren did not want them; the garbage man would not take them. I finally did find a Goodwill store that would take them off my hands.. I took them out of my car, put them on the ground in front of the store, and a guy came out, picked them all up and transferred them to a giant garbage dumpster. He didn't want to give me a receipt.
Sorry.. that wasn't interesting at all.
Something that I did find interesting was what Ben Bernanke mentioned recently.. he was rejected when he tried to refinance his DC home. He no longer is employed, so some computer program did not think he was a good financial risk.
Chuck Shepherd reports that the Swiss retail firm Migros printed Hitler's face on a batch of the company's coffee creamer pods. A company spokesman said he had no idea why that happened.
Arthur Blaustein says that the only hope to overthrowing Citizens United, will be the retirement of Justice Kennedy, Scalia, or Thomas, when a Democratic President will be able to appoint a moderate to the Supreme Court, who could vote to reverse it.
Ok Ok.. I know this is a lousy blog entry.. but I needed to enter something to make sure that my limited audience knows that in spite of two weeks of hacking coughing, I am still alive. So is Elaine. See ya!
.............................................................................................
"A little rule, a little sway,
A sunbeam on a Winter's day,
Is all the proud and mighty have
Between the cradle and the grave."
John Dyer 1700?-1758
Yes, Baby, it's cold outside! But, don't despair, there are only 7 weeks to go before we can enjoy Spring again. Yesterday, a guy told me that he had seen crocus blooming! I planted hundreds of crocus bulbs during the past couple of years... not one came up. Why? Squirrels, I bet.
Hey, how many of you used to sell Encyclopedias? How many of you still have encyclopedias in your home? How many of you have ever looked something up on your encyclopedia?
At one time, it was a sign of upper middle class snobbery to have a set in your home. It was an expensive item that gave one a feeling of being in the knowledge nobility. Some college students may have even used them once in a while. Now we have Google and everybody is a noble genius, regardless of class.
Before I moved to my current location, I had to get rid of three or four sets of encyclopedias. But Yard Salers would not take them; my grandchildren did not want them; the garbage man would not take them. I finally did find a Goodwill store that would take them off my hands.. I took them out of my car, put them on the ground in front of the store, and a guy came out, picked them all up and transferred them to a giant garbage dumpster. He didn't want to give me a receipt.
Sorry.. that wasn't interesting at all.
Something that I did find interesting was what Ben Bernanke mentioned recently.. he was rejected when he tried to refinance his DC home. He no longer is employed, so some computer program did not think he was a good financial risk.
Chuck Shepherd reports that the Swiss retail firm Migros printed Hitler's face on a batch of the company's coffee creamer pods. A company spokesman said he had no idea why that happened.
Arthur Blaustein says that the only hope to overthrowing Citizens United, will be the retirement of Justice Kennedy, Scalia, or Thomas, when a Democratic President will be able to appoint a moderate to the Supreme Court, who could vote to reverse it.
Ok Ok.. I know this is a lousy blog entry.. but I needed to enter something to make sure that my limited audience knows that in spite of two weeks of hacking coughing, I am still alive. So is Elaine. See ya!
.............................................................................................
Monday, January 12, 2015
Coughing; Bigamy; Monogamy; Frazier; Rothschild; Carroll County, Maryland;
Damn cold!
Well, it's been over a week since I entered something into this blog.. Elaine and I have had bad coughs.. I feel better right now.. but Elaine is still hacking away.
Oscar Wilde: "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Now.. I'm in big trouble if Elaine sees this. So, don't let her know.
Let's catch up on a few items in the news:
01. Carroll County Maryland Commissioners ... on the mark ... get set....
Carroll County elected 5 commissioners (at least 3 too many, in my opinion).. the voting outcome: Commissioner Robin Frazier lost her seat and tried to be a write-in. Lost both time. I'd say, the people have spoken in this regard.... but... not so fast, because one of the elected commissioners was tagged to help out the new Maryland Republican Governor, and a spot was open for a pick by the Carroll County Republican leaders... and guess who they picked? That's right.. a lady that one of the other commissioners says was the choice of outhouse rats: Our favorite loser: Robin Frazier.
In addition, the voters returned violent anti-Socialist and other conspiracies champion, Richard Rothschild. So.. there we have it... the Mutt and Jeff.. or Abbott and Costello, ... or Martin and Lewis.. whatever... I am looking forward to another year of comedic relief from my favorite nut-balls, Frazier and Rothschild. Lots of fun ahead in 2015.
02. Getting rich on mail
Hey, another day of mail with money attached. This month, so far, I have received around $1 in loose change from various organizations trying to give me a guilt trip for receiving coins in the mail. No.. sorry.. if you send it to me.. it's mine. Today, there was a total of .55 cents attached to my mail. That money is going into my piggy bank.
During each month, I receive notepads, pictures, greeting cards, books, stamps, and lots of other stuff. I bundle it up and donate it to AARP where it is distributed to poor folks.
I have a post office box that I devote to weird mail, and for years, I received mail with $1 enclosed.. "for filling out a survey".. hey.. no problem. I got my dollar, they got my advice. Recently, that has slowed down considerably... times must be tough.
03. Sad day for Scandinavians.
Anita Ekberg has passed at age 83. You know.. she still looked good at age 80.
I've mentioned elsewhere on this blog about the Norwegian fishermen friends of my wife before we were married. She said that they were always talking about someone named Annie Take-back.... well, in Norwegian, that is what Anita Ekberg sounds like.
04. Christian Science Monitor Newsletter
I received the first copy of the Monitor today. I'm trying it to see if it is still the good source of news that it was the last time I subscribed... some 50 years ago. It that time, it was mainly a newspaper... with different sections. One section, was a translation of Christian Science information in a European or African language. For instance, this was the first place that I found some Afrikaans to translate.
Anyway... the religion was minimal, the International news was massive... my interest was also massive. I enjoyed the paper.. until the price became too high for me to continue.
I'm trying it again to see if it can get my interest again.
Incidentally, while I went to school in Boston... from time to time, I would visit the church's offices in Scolley Square ( I believe) and get free copies in different languages that I could use to practice my language skills. Boston was an azazing City for language study.
.................................................................................
Well, enough brain stuff for today. See ya.
..................................................................................
Well, it's been over a week since I entered something into this blog.. Elaine and I have had bad coughs.. I feel better right now.. but Elaine is still hacking away.
Oscar Wilde: "Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same."
Now.. I'm in big trouble if Elaine sees this. So, don't let her know.
Let's catch up on a few items in the news:
01. Carroll County Maryland Commissioners ... on the mark ... get set....
Carroll County elected 5 commissioners (at least 3 too many, in my opinion).. the voting outcome: Commissioner Robin Frazier lost her seat and tried to be a write-in. Lost both time. I'd say, the people have spoken in this regard.... but... not so fast, because one of the elected commissioners was tagged to help out the new Maryland Republican Governor, and a spot was open for a pick by the Carroll County Republican leaders... and guess who they picked? That's right.. a lady that one of the other commissioners says was the choice of outhouse rats: Our favorite loser: Robin Frazier.
In addition, the voters returned violent anti-Socialist and other conspiracies champion, Richard Rothschild. So.. there we have it... the Mutt and Jeff.. or Abbott and Costello, ... or Martin and Lewis.. whatever... I am looking forward to another year of comedic relief from my favorite nut-balls, Frazier and Rothschild. Lots of fun ahead in 2015.
02. Getting rich on mail
Hey, another day of mail with money attached. This month, so far, I have received around $1 in loose change from various organizations trying to give me a guilt trip for receiving coins in the mail. No.. sorry.. if you send it to me.. it's mine. Today, there was a total of .55 cents attached to my mail. That money is going into my piggy bank.
During each month, I receive notepads, pictures, greeting cards, books, stamps, and lots of other stuff. I bundle it up and donate it to AARP where it is distributed to poor folks.
I have a post office box that I devote to weird mail, and for years, I received mail with $1 enclosed.. "for filling out a survey".. hey.. no problem. I got my dollar, they got my advice. Recently, that has slowed down considerably... times must be tough.
03. Sad day for Scandinavians.
Anita Ekberg has passed at age 83. You know.. she still looked good at age 80.
I've mentioned elsewhere on this blog about the Norwegian fishermen friends of my wife before we were married. She said that they were always talking about someone named Annie Take-back.... well, in Norwegian, that is what Anita Ekberg sounds like.
04. Christian Science Monitor Newsletter
I received the first copy of the Monitor today. I'm trying it to see if it is still the good source of news that it was the last time I subscribed... some 50 years ago. It that time, it was mainly a newspaper... with different sections. One section, was a translation of Christian Science information in a European or African language. For instance, this was the first place that I found some Afrikaans to translate.
Anyway... the religion was minimal, the International news was massive... my interest was also massive. I enjoyed the paper.. until the price became too high for me to continue.
I'm trying it again to see if it can get my interest again.
Incidentally, while I went to school in Boston... from time to time, I would visit the church's offices in Scolley Square ( I believe) and get free copies in different languages that I could use to practice my language skills. Boston was an azazing City for language study.
.................................................................................
Well, enough brain stuff for today. See ya.
..................................................................................
Friday, January 02, 2015
Beer; AARP Meeting; Elk Mountain; Belarus Boozers; Embalming Fluid; Buttonwood Cafe; Telephone coin boxes; Green Beer; Capacity and Weight;
Getting colder!
"Life ain't all beer and skittles, and more's the pity;
but what's the odds, so long as you're happy?"
Trilby Part I. George Louis Palmella Busson du Maurier (1834-1896)
Today, before I get to the matter of beer and skittles, I want to tell you about another small matter
which tickled my funny bone:
The AARP Monthly Meeting
Every month, I submit information to the Carroll County Times, to make sure that people read about our up-coming meeting. Recently, the receiving program has been changed. So, first, I had to spend hours convincing the new software that I was not a terrorist. Once that was done, I had to get our information into the CC Times calendar. In my submission, I was redundant with the location: The Elks Lodge in Westminster, Maryland.
On December 31, 2014, I finally was able to locate our information in the online section of the calendar. They had altered my words somewhat, but the information was there enough to allow a searcher to read about the meeting. And.. for those who needed the location.. instead of Elk's Lodge in Westminster, it was shown to be either: Elk Mountain, Colorado; Elk Mountain, California; Elk Mountain, Wyoming; or Elk Mountain, California..... take your pick.(Bring your skis!)
To help you get to the meeting.. you could access the GPS set up on their website. I asked for a list of the travel steps.. as reward, I was given directions down Maryland Rt 140 to Rt 795.. to the Baltimore Beltway.. to the Baltimore/Washington expressway.. to the Washington DC beltway.. to an area in DC.. then back on the DC beltway.. and finally, off the Beltway and to a Federal building . Huh??
Luckily, all of these instructions became moot today, the day of the meeting. I wonder how many people tried to find us based on the Internet instructions. We did have a small crowd.. ? I'm anxious to see what will happen when I try to get our February 2015 information published.
All right.. let's get to the matter I hinted at in the beginning of this blog entry:
Boozers
The Wall Street Journal says that people in Belarus drink more alcohol than any other people in the world. They consume 1.75 liters of pure alcohol per person per year. Americans drink just 9.2 liters... but people in Moslem Pakistan drink the least of anybody: Just 0.1 liters.
I was talking to somebody today who is a world-traveler... and he said that as soon as most Moslem folks get on an airplane, they remove their ethnic identifiers and booze it up just like everybody else on the plane.
I've mentioned that when my Grandfather worked in the family undertaking business during Prohibition, he was forced to drink embalming fluid. Yuk!
Let me reiterate a "boozer" story here.. if you heard it before, close your ears.
Small Beer:
When I came back from Europe in 1956, I sometimes would treat my Grandfather (the Senator) to some beer at the Buttonwood Café (a local "watering hole" in the West End of New Bedford, Massachusetts.) At the time, you could buy a "small beer" for 5 Cents. This was 4 ounces of Dawson's beer.. a local delicacy back then.
I would lay a $1 bill on the bar and my Grandfather and I would enjoy 20 of the 4 ounce beers. That equates to 80 ounces of beer, or 40 ounces each, a little more than a quart apiece... an amount that we could definitely handle. It was an enjoyable social time.. I loved my Grandfather and guess what... today..60 years later, I look exactly like him.
Anyway, one day, while we were drinking our beer and swapping stories, the radio was playing in the background (TV? what was that?)... and the announcer said something like this: "Today, the telephone bandit struck again in the West End, escaping with the contents of two telephone coin boxes..."
A few minutes later, my old friend, Charlie walked into the café. Charlie had helped me deliver newspapers some years earlier. I had to let him go after I found that he was also helping himself to some of the collection money. In spite of that, my Grandfather and I liked Charlie and invited him to sit down with us and have some beer. Charlie thanked us and then offered to buy the rest of the beer. We thought that this was great, and accepted his offer, as he reached into all of his pants pockets and pulled out piles and piles of nickels and laid them on the bar.
Here's another one.. be forewarned:
Green Beer:
When we lived in Randallstown, Maryland (1962-1975) I liked to make beer and mentioned it to one of my co-workers who was the son of Polish immigrants. He told me about some beer that his father used to make in Poland. Kumiss. It was made of horse urine! He said it was very tasty. Well, maybe, but I didn't try it. Instead, I tried another recipe that he suggested.. it was basically just hops and yeast and sugar. However, there was a secret ingredient: grapes.
I made a large batch of the water, hops, yeast and sugar, and let it ferment for a few days. Then I bottled it, placing a grape in every bottle before capping them. The theory was that the grape would cause more fermentation in the bottle and give the beer a sparkling taste. I put the newly filled bottles on the shelves lining the pathway from the front to the back of my garage. I used some green bottles that looked very nice.
After a few more days, I went out to the garage and checked the bottles.. it looked like the grapes had gotten even fatter in the enclosed bottles, which I took to be a good sign. Then, I went to the back door and walked out into the 30 degree cold Winter day. I felt very uncomfortably cold, so I immediately stepped back inside where I noticed that something strange had just happened.
Apparently, the sudden cold reacting on the warm grapes had caused each and every bottle to explode and shards of green glass were everywhere embedded in the shelves and the wall.. if I had been inside a second before, I would have been covered with green glass slivers.. and probably would not have been alive. A close call, and a very instructive one.
But.. I kept on making beer.
"Who's fond of his dinner
And doesn't get thinner
On bottled beer and chops"
from Patience.. Sir William Gilbert.
Elaine thinks that I should only have one beer per day... I'll agree to two.. although I try to keep to one because I want to lose weight.
A gentleman told me today that his father got off work in Baltimore at 4 pm.. and didn't get home until 7:30 pm .. 6 days a week, because he had to drink a case of beer each day. Except Sunday.. because he was a very religious man. When he retired, he weighed over 300 pounds.. but when he stopped drinking so much beer, he got down to 160 pounds. Wow!
I've already told you somewhere about my late wife, Elaine's uncle Didier (Eduard), who came to visit us in Baltimore with a case of beer under a block of ice in his trunk. He kept drinking beer throughout the whole trip and then got more for the trip back to Massachusetts. But he did not get fat from beer drinking.. he just died early from liver problems.
I could go on for hours with stories about beer, but I think that is enough for now. See Ya!
........................................................................................................................................................
"Life ain't all beer and skittles, and more's the pity;
but what's the odds, so long as you're happy?"
Trilby Part I. George Louis Palmella Busson du Maurier (1834-1896)
Today, before I get to the matter of beer and skittles, I want to tell you about another small matter
which tickled my funny bone:
The AARP Monthly Meeting
Every month, I submit information to the Carroll County Times, to make sure that people read about our up-coming meeting. Recently, the receiving program has been changed. So, first, I had to spend hours convincing the new software that I was not a terrorist. Once that was done, I had to get our information into the CC Times calendar. In my submission, I was redundant with the location: The Elks Lodge in Westminster, Maryland.
On December 31, 2014, I finally was able to locate our information in the online section of the calendar. They had altered my words somewhat, but the information was there enough to allow a searcher to read about the meeting. And.. for those who needed the location.. instead of Elk's Lodge in Westminster, it was shown to be either: Elk Mountain, Colorado; Elk Mountain, California; Elk Mountain, Wyoming; or Elk Mountain, California..... take your pick.(Bring your skis!)
To help you get to the meeting.. you could access the GPS set up on their website. I asked for a list of the travel steps.. as reward, I was given directions down Maryland Rt 140 to Rt 795.. to the Baltimore Beltway.. to the Baltimore/Washington expressway.. to the Washington DC beltway.. to an area in DC.. then back on the DC beltway.. and finally, off the Beltway and to a Federal building . Huh??
Luckily, all of these instructions became moot today, the day of the meeting. I wonder how many people tried to find us based on the Internet instructions. We did have a small crowd.. ? I'm anxious to see what will happen when I try to get our February 2015 information published.
All right.. let's get to the matter I hinted at in the beginning of this blog entry:
Boozers
The Wall Street Journal says that people in Belarus drink more alcohol than any other people in the world. They consume 1.75 liters of pure alcohol per person per year. Americans drink just 9.2 liters... but people in Moslem Pakistan drink the least of anybody: Just 0.1 liters.
I was talking to somebody today who is a world-traveler... and he said that as soon as most Moslem folks get on an airplane, they remove their ethnic identifiers and booze it up just like everybody else on the plane.
I've mentioned that when my Grandfather worked in the family undertaking business during Prohibition, he was forced to drink embalming fluid. Yuk!
Let me reiterate a "boozer" story here.. if you heard it before, close your ears.
Small Beer:
When I came back from Europe in 1956, I sometimes would treat my Grandfather (the Senator) to some beer at the Buttonwood Café (a local "watering hole" in the West End of New Bedford, Massachusetts.) At the time, you could buy a "small beer" for 5 Cents. This was 4 ounces of Dawson's beer.. a local delicacy back then.
I would lay a $1 bill on the bar and my Grandfather and I would enjoy 20 of the 4 ounce beers. That equates to 80 ounces of beer, or 40 ounces each, a little more than a quart apiece... an amount that we could definitely handle. It was an enjoyable social time.. I loved my Grandfather and guess what... today..60 years later, I look exactly like him.
Anyway, one day, while we were drinking our beer and swapping stories, the radio was playing in the background (TV? what was that?)... and the announcer said something like this: "Today, the telephone bandit struck again in the West End, escaping with the contents of two telephone coin boxes..."
A few minutes later, my old friend, Charlie walked into the café. Charlie had helped me deliver newspapers some years earlier. I had to let him go after I found that he was also helping himself to some of the collection money. In spite of that, my Grandfather and I liked Charlie and invited him to sit down with us and have some beer. Charlie thanked us and then offered to buy the rest of the beer. We thought that this was great, and accepted his offer, as he reached into all of his pants pockets and pulled out piles and piles of nickels and laid them on the bar.
Here's another one.. be forewarned:
Green Beer:
When we lived in Randallstown, Maryland (1962-1975) I liked to make beer and mentioned it to one of my co-workers who was the son of Polish immigrants. He told me about some beer that his father used to make in Poland. Kumiss. It was made of horse urine! He said it was very tasty. Well, maybe, but I didn't try it. Instead, I tried another recipe that he suggested.. it was basically just hops and yeast and sugar. However, there was a secret ingredient: grapes.
I made a large batch of the water, hops, yeast and sugar, and let it ferment for a few days. Then I bottled it, placing a grape in every bottle before capping them. The theory was that the grape would cause more fermentation in the bottle and give the beer a sparkling taste. I put the newly filled bottles on the shelves lining the pathway from the front to the back of my garage. I used some green bottles that looked very nice.
After a few more days, I went out to the garage and checked the bottles.. it looked like the grapes had gotten even fatter in the enclosed bottles, which I took to be a good sign. Then, I went to the back door and walked out into the 30 degree cold Winter day. I felt very uncomfortably cold, so I immediately stepped back inside where I noticed that something strange had just happened.
Apparently, the sudden cold reacting on the warm grapes had caused each and every bottle to explode and shards of green glass were everywhere embedded in the shelves and the wall.. if I had been inside a second before, I would have been covered with green glass slivers.. and probably would not have been alive. A close call, and a very instructive one.
But.. I kept on making beer.
"Who's fond of his dinner
And doesn't get thinner
On bottled beer and chops"
from Patience.. Sir William Gilbert.
Elaine thinks that I should only have one beer per day... I'll agree to two.. although I try to keep to one because I want to lose weight.
A gentleman told me today that his father got off work in Baltimore at 4 pm.. and didn't get home until 7:30 pm .. 6 days a week, because he had to drink a case of beer each day. Except Sunday.. because he was a very religious man. When he retired, he weighed over 300 pounds.. but when he stopped drinking so much beer, he got down to 160 pounds. Wow!
I've already told you somewhere about my late wife, Elaine's uncle Didier (Eduard), who came to visit us in Baltimore with a case of beer under a block of ice in his trunk. He kept drinking beer throughout the whole trip and then got more for the trip back to Massachusetts. But he did not get fat from beer drinking.. he just died early from liver problems.
I could go on for hours with stories about beer, but I think that is enough for now. See Ya!
........................................................................................................................................................
Monday, December 29, 2014
Benghazi; Bible; 911; Auto Racing; Mama's Lessons; Blood Pressure; Caller ID; Auschwitz; Potbellies; Beer; Breadsticks; Tatoos; Sneezing
40 degrees.. Winter weather.. only 12 more weeks until warmer times!
"Pro captu lectoris habent sua fata libelli."
("The fate of books depends on the capacity of the reader." Terentianus Maurus ad 200
..or "buy a Kindle!"
Let's see if I can fill up an hour with cogent observation:
01. Benghazi again.
The Week says that a Republican-lead congressional panel quietly exonerated the White House of any wrongdoing related to the Benghazi attack. Whoever, House Speaker, John Boehner is planning to reappoint another House committee to reconvene a new investigation. I wonder what it takes to get the Republicans to stop making fools of themselves in this regard?
02. The Bible Tells Me So...
Texas once again: New State approved textbooks say that the U.S. Constitution was based on the Bible. Thomas Jefferson would say that you are "crazy as hell" if you think that is the case. Old Tom even wrote his own version of the Bible to make Jesus' life more believable.
03. Follow the rules, neighbor!
When a Florida man tried to get a neighbor to help him put out a small fire in his house, the neighbor told him to "get lost" and call 911. By the time the firefighters got there, the small house fire had progressed enough to destroy the whole house. By the way, his neighbor was an off-duty fireman.
04. The Lord will protect me.
Televangelist Pat Robertson likes to push his automobile to 100 mph. God must be his co-pilot.
05. Things my mother taught me:
This is from the Funny Times for January 2015, and was written by M.D.Rosenberg:
My mother taught me foresight:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me about anticipation:
"Just wait until your father comes home!"
My mother taught me about justice:
"Someday you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.!"
06. High Blood Pressure
Harvard Medical School says that there is some disagreement over the best target blood pressure in older people taking pressure-powering medications. Recommendations:
Adults age 60 and over with high blood pressure: aim for 150/90
Adults age 30 to 59 with high blood pressure: aim for 140/90
Adults with diabetes or chronic kidney disease: aim for 140/90
07. Caller ID
In October 2014, AARP told us not to trust "Caller ID", because it can be manipulated to display whatever name or phone number that the scammer chooses. Why didn't I know this?
Some of the calls I receive show the following in my "caller ID". "Joe Vaughan" (hey, that's me!" How the devil did they do that, because I definitely did not call myself?)
How about the following on my caller ID.. "000000000" ?
Also.. "Unknown", or a State name, or such?
08. Harper's Index
From Harper's Magazine, by way of the Funny News in January 2015:
a. In December 2014, a 93 year old former guard at Auschwitz was charged with 300,000 counts of accessory to murder.
b. Potbellies on Americans has increased 17% since 2000.
c. None of the top ten best-selling beers in the United States are owned by us.
d. Olive Garden serves breadsticks to customers, but not all are eaten, and this results in a loss of five million dollars a year for that restaurant.
09. Tatoo
The Southern Poverty Law Center Intelligence Report, Winter 2014 reports that Joseph David Burgoyne, aged 28, has the slogan "CWB" (Crazy White Boy) tattooed on his neck. CWB is a reference to a white supremacist street gang.
10. Response
Kendra Turner, 18, said "Bless You" when another student sneezed.. and got suspended for using "Godly language" in class.
................Enough for now.....................................
"Pro captu lectoris habent sua fata libelli."
("The fate of books depends on the capacity of the reader." Terentianus Maurus ad 200
..or "buy a Kindle!"
Let's see if I can fill up an hour with cogent observation:
01. Benghazi again.
The Week says that a Republican-lead congressional panel quietly exonerated the White House of any wrongdoing related to the Benghazi attack. Whoever, House Speaker, John Boehner is planning to reappoint another House committee to reconvene a new investigation. I wonder what it takes to get the Republicans to stop making fools of themselves in this regard?
02. The Bible Tells Me So...
Texas once again: New State approved textbooks say that the U.S. Constitution was based on the Bible. Thomas Jefferson would say that you are "crazy as hell" if you think that is the case. Old Tom even wrote his own version of the Bible to make Jesus' life more believable.
03. Follow the rules, neighbor!
When a Florida man tried to get a neighbor to help him put out a small fire in his house, the neighbor told him to "get lost" and call 911. By the time the firefighters got there, the small house fire had progressed enough to destroy the whole house. By the way, his neighbor was an off-duty fireman.
04. The Lord will protect me.
Televangelist Pat Robertson likes to push his automobile to 100 mph. God must be his co-pilot.
05. Things my mother taught me:
This is from the Funny Times for January 2015, and was written by M.D.Rosenberg:
My mother taught me foresight:
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me about anticipation:
"Just wait until your father comes home!"
My mother taught me about justice:
"Someday you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you.!"
06. High Blood Pressure
Harvard Medical School says that there is some disagreement over the best target blood pressure in older people taking pressure-powering medications. Recommendations:
Adults age 60 and over with high blood pressure: aim for 150/90
Adults age 30 to 59 with high blood pressure: aim for 140/90
Adults with diabetes or chronic kidney disease: aim for 140/90
07. Caller ID
In October 2014, AARP told us not to trust "Caller ID", because it can be manipulated to display whatever name or phone number that the scammer chooses. Why didn't I know this?
Some of the calls I receive show the following in my "caller ID". "Joe Vaughan" (hey, that's me!" How the devil did they do that, because I definitely did not call myself?)
How about the following on my caller ID.. "000000000" ?
Also.. "Unknown", or a State name, or such?
08. Harper's Index
From Harper's Magazine, by way of the Funny News in January 2015:
a. In December 2014, a 93 year old former guard at Auschwitz was charged with 300,000 counts of accessory to murder.
b. Potbellies on Americans has increased 17% since 2000.
c. None of the top ten best-selling beers in the United States are owned by us.
d. Olive Garden serves breadsticks to customers, but not all are eaten, and this results in a loss of five million dollars a year for that restaurant.
09. Tatoo
The Southern Poverty Law Center Intelligence Report, Winter 2014 reports that Joseph David Burgoyne, aged 28, has the slogan "CWB" (Crazy White Boy) tattooed on his neck. CWB is a reference to a white supremacist street gang.
10. Response
Kendra Turner, 18, said "Bless You" when another student sneezed.. and got suspended for using "Godly language" in class.
................Enough for now.....................................
Monday, December 22, 2014
Carroll County Maryland Politics; Net Neutrality; Manson; Barbosa
Cold... well it is now Winter, for crying out loud!
No time for a poem or quote.. I have just 45 minutes to plug some stuff into this blog entry.
01. Republican Activity in Maryland
Flushed with victory, incoming Republican Governor Larry Hogan has appointed Carroll County's Republican Senator, Joe Getty, to serve as Senate Minority Leader and Legislative Expert. Now there will have to be a pick by the Republicans of a smiling light to fill Getty's spot.
The Carroll County Times reminds us of a minor feud between Getty and Susan Krebs. Everybody loves Lion Susan Krebs, but in my opinion, she seems like a "party hack" who serves as a Charlie McCarthy to whoever is the current Republican Edgar Bergen. (In another blog entry, I will outline her plans to derail anything that the Democrats or moderate Republicans hope to accomplish, now, or in the future. Since she says things exactly like every other member of the Carroll County Republican Club, I predict a distinctly negative outlook to her service in Maryland's legislative body next year.)
02. Mitch hits another homerun!
In another article in the Carroll County Times, Mitch Edelmann gave us the "straight poop" on "net neutrality".. I wish that I had reached him earlier to be the Social Security Alumni Association's voice. He certainly has a gift.
03. Love comes to a killer
Charles Manson is now 80 years old and has been allowed to get married while serving his life sentence in a California State Prison.
04. Another Killer revisited.
I've written before about my run-in with Joe Barboza, New Bedford's own mob hitman. Remember? He ratted on his confidents in the New England Mafia and was targeted to get "hit".. However, they didn't succeed until 1976 or so. I am really surprised that Joe was able to be in this world from 1932 through the 1970's... almost 40 years of brutality and killing. He probably gets the prize for being one of the world's longest living sociopath.. if not the meanest.
In the 1940's, I visited two of my friends in their New Bedford house, as I was wont to do quite often, perhaps twice a week. I just walked in and climbed the three stories to my friends' attic room, and walked right in, as I had done hundreds of times before. However, this time, in the middle of the room stood a short, fat, mean-looking guy who greeted me with a glare. He asked who I was, and my friends said I was their friend, who had helped them to become healthy muscular specimens, by wrestling with them and showing them how to exercise with weights.
What was this guy's response? He didn't talk to them; he turned to me and said: "get lost!" In other words, he took an instant dislike to me. And me to him, but I could sense an animal instinct in him, so I decided to leave.. and since my "former friends" did not stop me from leaving, I immediately wrote them out of my life. And I am really glad that I did.
In a related Kindle book that I am reading, I've learned that in my "friends'" room, they were planning burglaries. Apparently, these burglaries continued until 1949, when the police arrested Joe Barboza and sent him to prison, for one of his many incarcerations. I believe that my "friends'" parents recognized the situation early in their relationship with Joe and shipped them off to San Francisco and a new life before they could get too involved with Joe.
It is hard for me to understand a person like Joe Barboza.. a human being with no regard for the life of another human. Thank God that he didn't like me. My slightly bad life turned around for me in that confrontation, and I did "turn over a new leaf", so to speak.
Well, I've rattled about for 45 minutes and I have to go get supper ready for Elaine. See ya!
.............................................................................................................................................
No time for a poem or quote.. I have just 45 minutes to plug some stuff into this blog entry.
01. Republican Activity in Maryland
Flushed with victory, incoming Republican Governor Larry Hogan has appointed Carroll County's Republican Senator, Joe Getty, to serve as Senate Minority Leader and Legislative Expert. Now there will have to be a pick by the Republicans of a smiling light to fill Getty's spot.
The Carroll County Times reminds us of a minor feud between Getty and Susan Krebs. Everybody loves Lion Susan Krebs, but in my opinion, she seems like a "party hack" who serves as a Charlie McCarthy to whoever is the current Republican Edgar Bergen. (In another blog entry, I will outline her plans to derail anything that the Democrats or moderate Republicans hope to accomplish, now, or in the future. Since she says things exactly like every other member of the Carroll County Republican Club, I predict a distinctly negative outlook to her service in Maryland's legislative body next year.)
02. Mitch hits another homerun!
In another article in the Carroll County Times, Mitch Edelmann gave us the "straight poop" on "net neutrality".. I wish that I had reached him earlier to be the Social Security Alumni Association's voice. He certainly has a gift.
03. Love comes to a killer
Charles Manson is now 80 years old and has been allowed to get married while serving his life sentence in a California State Prison.
04. Another Killer revisited.
I've written before about my run-in with Joe Barboza, New Bedford's own mob hitman. Remember? He ratted on his confidents in the New England Mafia and was targeted to get "hit".. However, they didn't succeed until 1976 or so. I am really surprised that Joe was able to be in this world from 1932 through the 1970's... almost 40 years of brutality and killing. He probably gets the prize for being one of the world's longest living sociopath.. if not the meanest.
In the 1940's, I visited two of my friends in their New Bedford house, as I was wont to do quite often, perhaps twice a week. I just walked in and climbed the three stories to my friends' attic room, and walked right in, as I had done hundreds of times before. However, this time, in the middle of the room stood a short, fat, mean-looking guy who greeted me with a glare. He asked who I was, and my friends said I was their friend, who had helped them to become healthy muscular specimens, by wrestling with them and showing them how to exercise with weights.
What was this guy's response? He didn't talk to them; he turned to me and said: "get lost!" In other words, he took an instant dislike to me. And me to him, but I could sense an animal instinct in him, so I decided to leave.. and since my "former friends" did not stop me from leaving, I immediately wrote them out of my life. And I am really glad that I did.
In a related Kindle book that I am reading, I've learned that in my "friends'" room, they were planning burglaries. Apparently, these burglaries continued until 1949, when the police arrested Joe Barboza and sent him to prison, for one of his many incarcerations. I believe that my "friends'" parents recognized the situation early in their relationship with Joe and shipped them off to San Francisco and a new life before they could get too involved with Joe.
It is hard for me to understand a person like Joe Barboza.. a human being with no regard for the life of another human. Thank God that he didn't like me. My slightly bad life turned around for me in that confrontation, and I did "turn over a new leaf", so to speak.
Well, I've rattled about for 45 minutes and I have to go get supper ready for Elaine. See ya!
.............................................................................................................................................
Sunday, December 14, 2014
Wedding of Bridget Vaughan and Erik Fetzer
50 ish today.. 40 ish yesterday
"May your life be long and happy,
And your cares and worries few;
May the many friends around you
Prove faithful, fond and true.
And may your life-long voyage
Be as happy and as free
As the dancing waves on the deep blue sea!"
My update of a Massachusetts whaler's toast to the married couple, Bridget and Erik.
Yesterday was a remarkable day! It was Bridget and Erik's wedding at the Cloisters, a castle in the woods. Let me give you a "blow by blow" of the day's events.
But first, for the benefit of future genealogists, let me mention the other folks that were there from the Bride's side of the invited guests:
Chris and Kathleen Vaughan (Father and Step Mother of the Bride)
Kaitlin and Bjorn May (Sister and brother in law of the Bride.)
Kathleen's mother and her date (name?)
Elizabeth and Will Murphy (Aunt and Uncle of the Bride)
Diane and John Cole (Aunt and Uncle of the Bride)
(segue: check out JohnnyCole on YouTube.. also John and his son, Jackson, have a gig coming up.. John on his guitar and Jackson on drum and piano... don't miss it!)
Joe Vaughan and Elaine Lottes (grandfather of the bride and his partner)
Dylan and Jackson Cole (Cousins of the Bride)
Sean Murphy and his date (name?) (Cousin of the Bride)
Adrienne Burrell (Cousin of the Bride)
Heather Clark and her date (name?) (Cousin of the Bride)
Danielle Clark and her son, Cameron Coates (Cousin and 2nd cousin of the bride)
Emily Leffler Schulman and daughter, Lily. (Elaine Lottes' daughter and granddaughter)
Mat Leffler Schulman and son, Luka. (Elaine Lottes' son in law and grandson.)
Kathleen and Reverend Scott Clagg (The Bride's mother and step father.)
Donna Tripp and Gil DeSantos. (Joe Vaughan's sister from New Bedford and her boy-friend.)
I'm sure that I've forgotten some people.. sorry about that.. but I'm an old dude and that is to be expected.
Meanwhile:
My grandson, Dylan, lugged in the container with the wedding gifts from the car in the parking lot.. he didn't even huff or puff.. I had almost died getting it into the car earlier. Dylan says that he lugs lots of heavier boxes everyday at his Home Depot job. (Jackson supervised.)
Close relatives sat on the stage and the other guests were in the audience. Interesting arrangement.
Bjorn accompanied Kathleen to the stage.
Mr. Fetzer accompanied his wife to the stage.
Somehow, Erik got to the stage. (I don't think there was a best man.)
The preacher lady performed a beautiful ceremony, and vows were exchanged. Lots of pictures.
The newly married couple kissed and were presented to the audience. (Handkerchiefs were wet.)
After an Open Bar and hors d'eouvres time (tasty meat balls and marvelous crab dip.. I congratulated the guy who made the crab dip and he said the secret is the sweet crab claw meat.. I wished that I could have sat there all day pigging out on the dip), .. but speech time had begun.
Chris gave a tear-jerking father speech, followed by one by Erik's sister, who is so happy to now have a sister, Bridget, to take the place of the sister that Erik was supposed to be when he was born. (Wet handkerchiefs continued.)
Next, it was my turn.. I started to talk about the picture of a beautiful red-head that her memere always had posted to the refrigerator.. and how, now, Bridget looked even more beautiful than that picture.. but I teared up (as I thought that perhaps her memere might just be watching from somewhere "above") and instead recited my New Bedford-type toast, followed by a question:
Now that Bridget and Erik have said their two word "I DO!" phrases, there is another two-word phrase that they need to be aware of, because the use of it can help keep their marriage peaceful for 80 or more years. I asked the audience what that phrase was... shouted back at me was: "I'm sorry!", "Love You!", "Help me!", and some others.. but, I did not hear the phrase that I wanted to hear: "Yes, Dear!" (Elaine taught me that, and I am grateful to her for that.)
After speeches, we partook of a nice meal of steak, green beans, garlic potatoes, and Caesar salad.. plus something else that I didn't try. (A very nice spread.. and the steak was raw, the way I like it.)
With our tummies full... the DJ began to entice folks to the dance floor.. lots of music. I made a boo-boo by saying I thought the singer was Jim Croce... it was Elton John.. I shut up for the rest of the music. Lots of dancing... I didn't know how good a dancer Dylan was. Amazing! Other very active dancers were my sister, Donna, Elizabeth and Diane... and all of the female Fetzer clan, including the little 3-year old charmer.
Elaine and I were able to dance (kind of) a couple of times.. we'll have to work on that. I was able to contribute to the Apron to dance with my granddaughter, Bridget.. but only for a very short time.. I am a very teary grandfather.
Elaine and I left after Erik and Bridget disappeared in a limo. All in all.. a wonderful happy day. One could not ask for a better one!
................................................................................................................................
"May your life be long and happy,
And your cares and worries few;
May the many friends around you
Prove faithful, fond and true.
And may your life-long voyage
Be as happy and as free
As the dancing waves on the deep blue sea!"
My update of a Massachusetts whaler's toast to the married couple, Bridget and Erik.
Yesterday was a remarkable day! It was Bridget and Erik's wedding at the Cloisters, a castle in the woods. Let me give you a "blow by blow" of the day's events.
But first, for the benefit of future genealogists, let me mention the other folks that were there from the Bride's side of the invited guests:
Chris and Kathleen Vaughan (Father and Step Mother of the Bride)
Kaitlin and Bjorn May (Sister and brother in law of the Bride.)
Kathleen's mother and her date (name?)
Elizabeth and Will Murphy (Aunt and Uncle of the Bride)
Diane and John Cole (Aunt and Uncle of the Bride)
(segue: check out JohnnyCole on YouTube.. also John and his son, Jackson, have a gig coming up.. John on his guitar and Jackson on drum and piano... don't miss it!)
Joe Vaughan and Elaine Lottes (grandfather of the bride and his partner)
Dylan and Jackson Cole (Cousins of the Bride)
Sean Murphy and his date (name?) (Cousin of the Bride)
Adrienne Burrell (Cousin of the Bride)
Heather Clark and her date (name?) (Cousin of the Bride)
Danielle Clark and her son, Cameron Coates (Cousin and 2nd cousin of the bride)
Emily Leffler Schulman and daughter, Lily. (Elaine Lottes' daughter and granddaughter)
Mat Leffler Schulman and son, Luka. (Elaine Lottes' son in law and grandson.)
Kathleen and Reverend Scott Clagg (The Bride's mother and step father.)
Donna Tripp and Gil DeSantos. (Joe Vaughan's sister from New Bedford and her boy-friend.)
I'm sure that I've forgotten some people.. sorry about that.. but I'm an old dude and that is to be expected.
Meanwhile:
My grandson, Dylan, lugged in the container with the wedding gifts from the car in the parking lot.. he didn't even huff or puff.. I had almost died getting it into the car earlier. Dylan says that he lugs lots of heavier boxes everyday at his Home Depot job. (Jackson supervised.)
Close relatives sat on the stage and the other guests were in the audience. Interesting arrangement.
Bjorn accompanied Kathleen to the stage.
Mr. Fetzer accompanied his wife to the stage.
Somehow, Erik got to the stage. (I don't think there was a best man.)
The preacher lady performed a beautiful ceremony, and vows were exchanged. Lots of pictures.
The newly married couple kissed and were presented to the audience. (Handkerchiefs were wet.)
After an Open Bar and hors d'eouvres time (tasty meat balls and marvelous crab dip.. I congratulated the guy who made the crab dip and he said the secret is the sweet crab claw meat.. I wished that I could have sat there all day pigging out on the dip), .. but speech time had begun.
Chris gave a tear-jerking father speech, followed by one by Erik's sister, who is so happy to now have a sister, Bridget, to take the place of the sister that Erik was supposed to be when he was born. (Wet handkerchiefs continued.)
Next, it was my turn.. I started to talk about the picture of a beautiful red-head that her memere always had posted to the refrigerator.. and how, now, Bridget looked even more beautiful than that picture.. but I teared up (as I thought that perhaps her memere might just be watching from somewhere "above") and instead recited my New Bedford-type toast, followed by a question:
Now that Bridget and Erik have said their two word "I DO!" phrases, there is another two-word phrase that they need to be aware of, because the use of it can help keep their marriage peaceful for 80 or more years. I asked the audience what that phrase was... shouted back at me was: "I'm sorry!", "Love You!", "Help me!", and some others.. but, I did not hear the phrase that I wanted to hear: "Yes, Dear!" (Elaine taught me that, and I am grateful to her for that.)
After speeches, we partook of a nice meal of steak, green beans, garlic potatoes, and Caesar salad.. plus something else that I didn't try. (A very nice spread.. and the steak was raw, the way I like it.)
With our tummies full... the DJ began to entice folks to the dance floor.. lots of music. I made a boo-boo by saying I thought the singer was Jim Croce... it was Elton John.. I shut up for the rest of the music. Lots of dancing... I didn't know how good a dancer Dylan was. Amazing! Other very active dancers were my sister, Donna, Elizabeth and Diane... and all of the female Fetzer clan, including the little 3-year old charmer.
Elaine and I were able to dance (kind of) a couple of times.. we'll have to work on that. I was able to contribute to the Apron to dance with my granddaughter, Bridget.. but only for a very short time.. I am a very teary grandfather.
Elaine and I left after Erik and Bridget disappeared in a limo. All in all.. a wonderful happy day. One could not ask for a better one!
................................................................................................................................
Tuesday, December 09, 2014
George Washington
Cold rainy days... get used to it, Joe.
"I had rather be right than be President."
Henry Clay (1777-1852) To Senator Preston of South Carolina.. 1839.
I have much to talk about.. much has been happening to me since my last blog entry... however, I'm going to segue for a while.
I found a book at a yard sale for the astronomical price of 5 cents. Facts and Fun about the Presidents by George Sullivan in 1987. I want to extract a few facts from that book. Most of them surprised me quite a bit. I also want to mention a couple of President Washington's quotes.
01. George Washington (President Number 1) 1789-1797
George's salary - $25,000.
George was 6 feet 2 inches tall.
George was the first president whose likeness appeared on a U.S. postage stamp, which was issued in 1847.
Washington was inaugurated in New York for his first term; and Philadelphia for his second.
Washington was born in Virginia.
By the time he was 57 years old, he had lost all of his teeth. (Take a trip to Mount Vernon, where you can find out about George's dental problems, and view his false teeth.)
George's birthday: February 22, 1732.
George Washington did not attend college.
George Washington had no children. (However, at Mt Vernon, there is a statue of him and Martha with children... ??)
George liked to eat, and his favorite menus were:
Cream of Peanut Soup;
Mashed Sweet Potatoes with Coconut;
String beans with Mushrooms;
Martha Washington's whiskey cake.
George is found on the $1 bill; and his name graces a State called Washington and a city called Washington, DC.
Washington was a military leader, surveyor and farmer. He was also an excellent horseman.
George Washington bred hounds and treated them like members of his family. Some male dogs' names: Drunkard, Tarter and Trueman. Some female dogs' names: Duchess, True Love and Sweet Lips.
George was known as the Father of His Country, the Sage of Mount Vernon, and the Surveyor President.
Parson Weems, in 1800, quotes Washington to his father: "Father, I cannot tell a lie, I did it with my little hatchet."
In his farewell address in 1796: "It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliances with any portion of the foreign world."
In Spark's Life of Washington (1839).. Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour: "Labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience."
Bonne Nuit, George.
................................................
"I had rather be right than be President."
Henry Clay (1777-1852) To Senator Preston of South Carolina.. 1839.
I have much to talk about.. much has been happening to me since my last blog entry... however, I'm going to segue for a while.
I found a book at a yard sale for the astronomical price of 5 cents. Facts and Fun about the Presidents by George Sullivan in 1987. I want to extract a few facts from that book. Most of them surprised me quite a bit. I also want to mention a couple of President Washington's quotes.
01. George Washington (President Number 1) 1789-1797
George's salary - $25,000.
George was 6 feet 2 inches tall.
George was the first president whose likeness appeared on a U.S. postage stamp, which was issued in 1847.
Washington was inaugurated in New York for his first term; and Philadelphia for his second.
Washington was born in Virginia.
By the time he was 57 years old, he had lost all of his teeth. (Take a trip to Mount Vernon, where you can find out about George's dental problems, and view his false teeth.)
George's birthday: February 22, 1732.
George Washington did not attend college.
George Washington had no children. (However, at Mt Vernon, there is a statue of him and Martha with children... ??)
George liked to eat, and his favorite menus were:
Cream of Peanut Soup;
Mashed Sweet Potatoes with Coconut;
String beans with Mushrooms;
Martha Washington's whiskey cake.
George is found on the $1 bill; and his name graces a State called Washington and a city called Washington, DC.
Washington was a military leader, surveyor and farmer. He was also an excellent horseman.
George Washington bred hounds and treated them like members of his family. Some male dogs' names: Drunkard, Tarter and Trueman. Some female dogs' names: Duchess, True Love and Sweet Lips.
George was known as the Father of His Country, the Sage of Mount Vernon, and the Surveyor President.
Parson Weems, in 1800, quotes Washington to his father: "Father, I cannot tell a lie, I did it with my little hatchet."
In his farewell address in 1796: "It is our true policy to steer clear of permanent alliances with any portion of the foreign world."
In Spark's Life of Washington (1839).. Rules of Civility and Decent Behaviour: "Labour to keep alive in your breast that little spark of celestial fire, called conscience."
Bonne Nuit, George.
................................................
Wednesday, December 03, 2014
Lamb and lambs; Kardashian; Speed Cameras; Money
Rainy am; sunny pm. 50ish.
"Some cry up Haydn, some Mozart,
Just as the whim bites. For my part,
I do not care a farthing candle
For either of them, or for Handel."
Charles Lamb: Letter to Mrs William Hazlitt (1830)
Poor Mr Lamb, he missed a lot.
01. Speaking of lambs.. If God is all benevolence, why all the senseless cruelty to "lambs" of our world by the "lions" of our world?
William Buckland had it all figured out early in the 19th Century: He considered that although the depredation of the "carnivorous races" would seem to be a challenge to the ideal of the lion cohabiting with the lamb, God, in His wisdom, decreed that carnivores would actually increase animal enjoyment and diminish pain, by causing a swift and relatively painless end to a lamb's life. This would spare the victim the "ravages of decrepitude and senility".. and the possibility of running out of food and starving to painful death. Thus, the lamb that is spared would be able to continue to cavort and graze with it's buddies.. (for a time) .. while the lion, lounging, his tummy full, would offer a prayer of thanksgiving for God's bounty.
02. Dress like Kim and suffer the consequences.
In Kenya, women who try to dress like Kim Kardashian and other Hollywood types, are being stripped in public and kicked in their genitals. Apparently, women's rights are not important to some men in that country.
03. Big Brother is watching you!
According to Chuck Shepherd (Funny Times) one speed camera in Brooklyn, New York recently earned the city $78,000 in just one day, from 1,551 tickets it generated. (That's one every 20 seconds of an 8 hour day!)
.. and yes, some parking places in New York City are being rented for one million dollars a year! I guess that is "chump change" to a person who can buy a 3 bedroom condo near Central Park for $22 million dollars. Members of the WalMart family could afford to buy hundreds of those condos and not even make a dent in their ready cash funds.
.......................
Sigh..
.......................
"Some cry up Haydn, some Mozart,
Just as the whim bites. For my part,
I do not care a farthing candle
For either of them, or for Handel."
Charles Lamb: Letter to Mrs William Hazlitt (1830)
Poor Mr Lamb, he missed a lot.
01. Speaking of lambs.. If God is all benevolence, why all the senseless cruelty to "lambs" of our world by the "lions" of our world?
William Buckland had it all figured out early in the 19th Century: He considered that although the depredation of the "carnivorous races" would seem to be a challenge to the ideal of the lion cohabiting with the lamb, God, in His wisdom, decreed that carnivores would actually increase animal enjoyment and diminish pain, by causing a swift and relatively painless end to a lamb's life. This would spare the victim the "ravages of decrepitude and senility".. and the possibility of running out of food and starving to painful death. Thus, the lamb that is spared would be able to continue to cavort and graze with it's buddies.. (for a time) .. while the lion, lounging, his tummy full, would offer a prayer of thanksgiving for God's bounty.
02. Dress like Kim and suffer the consequences.
In Kenya, women who try to dress like Kim Kardashian and other Hollywood types, are being stripped in public and kicked in their genitals. Apparently, women's rights are not important to some men in that country.
03. Big Brother is watching you!
According to Chuck Shepherd (Funny Times) one speed camera in Brooklyn, New York recently earned the city $78,000 in just one day, from 1,551 tickets it generated. (That's one every 20 seconds of an 8 hour day!)
.. and yes, some parking places in New York City are being rented for one million dollars a year! I guess that is "chump change" to a person who can buy a 3 bedroom condo near Central Park for $22 million dollars. Members of the WalMart family could afford to buy hundreds of those condos and not even make a dent in their ready cash funds.
.......................
Sigh..
.......................
Saturday, November 29, 2014
Cold; Bees; New Bedford; Maine; Religion; Blood Pressure; UFO's; Transgender; Prison Escapes; Opinions about the Human Race
Hamlet: "The air bites shrewdly; it is very cold."
Horatio: "It is a nipping and an eager air."
Yes.. it looks like Summer/Autumn is over, so let's get used to it.
I have one hour to dispense fantastic information to the world; well, maybe just to the 2 or 3 folks who read these words. (I wonder if those Japanese English students are still using my blog as an English lesson?)
01. Bzzzzz!
I'm looking at a picture of Burt Shavitz, the co-founder of Burt's Bees. The ad copy says: "Wise and wry, ornery and opinionated, the reclusive Shavits is committed to living off the land and keeping true to his humble beginnings, despite his celebrity status."
I see a lot in his picture:
1. He wears a New Bedford scallop shell belt buckle as I do, on occasion.
2. He lives in a log house, similar to one that my long-lost brother helped his friend to build in Bucyrus, Ohio.
3. He has a gray and white Robertson beard that needs trimming.
4. Gigantic Maine pine trees surround his house. (If you go to Maine, you will get the wonderful constant smell of pine trees in your nostrils. Marcel Proust would let you know that this smell will bring you memories of Maine for the rest of your life.)
5. He is wearing a New Bedford Whaling Museum cap. It is arranged so the logo doesn't show, but we cognoscenti know that it is there, just above his hair line.
6. His house is raised from the ground so that bears and other wild animals can't make it inside.
7. He is seated on a caned Shaker chair made near Springfield, Massachusetts.
8. Harder to see, are the millions of Maine mosquitoes attacking every inch of his bare skin sticking out from under his red and white Maine shirt. (At the time of this picture, his famous bees have retired to their hive for a nice quiet sleep.)
02. Freedom of religion?
Harper's Index says that 30 countries require their rulers to belong to a particular religion.
03. Freedom of location?
Doctor Kushner says that if I don't start to lose weight, I'll have to apply for my own zip code.
04. Lower your blood pressure?
The Harvard Heart Letter: A new device called the Rheos system may lower blood pressure by as much as 35 points. It works like a pacemaker.
05. Encounter?
Mufon Journal: Udo Wartena (1903-1989) said that he once encountered an alien crew that landed in Montana. He says he was invited onboard while they extracted a large quantity of water from a stream. He says he was told that they live among us from time to time to monitor the "progression and retrogression) of earth society. These folks could easily pass as humans.
06. Catholic Viewpoints.
Catholic University Student, Jeffrey Peters, says that the recent job switch of conservative Cardinal Ramond Burke was not retaliation by Pope Francis for not agreeing with his supposed modified view of abortion and same sex marriage. He says this "erroneous viewpoint" was dispensed by the "left-wing media."
In my opinion, based on my readings of Jeff's periodic writings, he will make an excellent conservative priest, but not a person with the ability to look past his own perceptions. I wonder what he would say about the Transgender Day of Remembrance, to be observed by Cedarhurst Unitarian Universalists.
07. Hello! Are you there?
When people complain about their telephone service, I would refer them to the recent call from the robotic probe, Philae.. which sent photos and data back to earth from a comet 300 million miles away!
08. Get me 'outta here!
Harper's Index reports that 5 inmates in Quebec, Canada prisons have escaped by helicopter in the last 15 months.
09. Opinions on The Human Race.
Jon Winokur lists in the Funny Paper:
H.L. Mencken: "The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal."
Mark Twain: "Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat."
Anatole France: "The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever."
...............................................
Enough!
...............................................
Horatio: "It is a nipping and an eager air."
Yes.. it looks like Summer/Autumn is over, so let's get used to it.
I have one hour to dispense fantastic information to the world; well, maybe just to the 2 or 3 folks who read these words. (I wonder if those Japanese English students are still using my blog as an English lesson?)
01. Bzzzzz!
I'm looking at a picture of Burt Shavitz, the co-founder of Burt's Bees. The ad copy says: "Wise and wry, ornery and opinionated, the reclusive Shavits is committed to living off the land and keeping true to his humble beginnings, despite his celebrity status."
I see a lot in his picture:
1. He wears a New Bedford scallop shell belt buckle as I do, on occasion.
2. He lives in a log house, similar to one that my long-lost brother helped his friend to build in Bucyrus, Ohio.
3. He has a gray and white Robertson beard that needs trimming.
4. Gigantic Maine pine trees surround his house. (If you go to Maine, you will get the wonderful constant smell of pine trees in your nostrils. Marcel Proust would let you know that this smell will bring you memories of Maine for the rest of your life.)
5. He is wearing a New Bedford Whaling Museum cap. It is arranged so the logo doesn't show, but we cognoscenti know that it is there, just above his hair line.
6. His house is raised from the ground so that bears and other wild animals can't make it inside.
7. He is seated on a caned Shaker chair made near Springfield, Massachusetts.
8. Harder to see, are the millions of Maine mosquitoes attacking every inch of his bare skin sticking out from under his red and white Maine shirt. (At the time of this picture, his famous bees have retired to their hive for a nice quiet sleep.)
02. Freedom of religion?
Harper's Index says that 30 countries require their rulers to belong to a particular religion.
03. Freedom of location?
Doctor Kushner says that if I don't start to lose weight, I'll have to apply for my own zip code.
04. Lower your blood pressure?
The Harvard Heart Letter: A new device called the Rheos system may lower blood pressure by as much as 35 points. It works like a pacemaker.
05. Encounter?
Mufon Journal: Udo Wartena (1903-1989) said that he once encountered an alien crew that landed in Montana. He says he was invited onboard while they extracted a large quantity of water from a stream. He says he was told that they live among us from time to time to monitor the "progression and retrogression) of earth society. These folks could easily pass as humans.
06. Catholic Viewpoints.
Catholic University Student, Jeffrey Peters, says that the recent job switch of conservative Cardinal Ramond Burke was not retaliation by Pope Francis for not agreeing with his supposed modified view of abortion and same sex marriage. He says this "erroneous viewpoint" was dispensed by the "left-wing media."
In my opinion, based on my readings of Jeff's periodic writings, he will make an excellent conservative priest, but not a person with the ability to look past his own perceptions. I wonder what he would say about the Transgender Day of Remembrance, to be observed by Cedarhurst Unitarian Universalists.
07. Hello! Are you there?
When people complain about their telephone service, I would refer them to the recent call from the robotic probe, Philae.. which sent photos and data back to earth from a comet 300 million miles away!
08. Get me 'outta here!
Harper's Index reports that 5 inmates in Quebec, Canada prisons have escaped by helicopter in the last 15 months.
09. Opinions on The Human Race.
Jon Winokur lists in the Funny Paper:
H.L. Mencken: "The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal."
Mark Twain: "Such is the human race, often it seems a pity that Noah didn't miss the boat."
Anatole France: "The average man, who does not know what to do with his life, wants another one which will last forever."
...............................................
Enough!
...............................................
Wednesday, November 26, 2014
Swinburne; Thanksgiving; Macy's Parade; New Bedford's Parade; Height; Underwear; Language; Pick Pockets; Air
Snow: 3 inches. Winter is here.
"From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no man lives forever,
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea."
The Garden of Proserpine by Algernon Charles Swinburne (1837-1909)
Much to think of there... and, to give you something more to talk about tomorrow at the "groaning" Thanksgiving table, think on these things:
01. Here comes the parade!
The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is watched in person by 3 and 1/2 million people in New York City. For a good seat to watch from, one can reserve a hotel room (according to the New York Times.)
The Quinn Hotel on 57th St and Av of the Americas: offers s parade-view room and access for two to the balloon-inflating festivities.. for $1,249 a night, with a three night minimum.
The Mandarin Oriental New York Hotel, at Columbus Circle, offers a room, plus a photo booth (whatever that is) and cookie decorating. Their price is only $1,125 per night with a two night minimum.
The New York Hilton Midtown, on the Av of the Americas, offers rooms at $549 with a three night minimum, but folks will have to view the parade in an outside viewing area.
The Trump International Hotel and Tower New York, on Central Park West offers a room and a lanyard pass that allows private street access to the parade. (Three nights minimum for $1,400.)
If its ok with you, if I need a parade fix, I'll just turn on TV. A lot cheaper, and I'm sure parade views are much better.
02. There goes the parade!
As a street urchin in New Bedford, Massachusetts, I was always scrambling to make a buck. We were poor and I was able to help quite a bit.. I had a double sized paper route for years.. I mowed the grass for all the neighbors.. I shoveled everybody's snow.. I helped "put up" and "take down" circus tents.. I manned ring toss booths at festivals.. I swept the floor of a nearby drug store.. I collected paper to convert to cash.. I sold peanuts at sports events.. I spent 4am to 7am six days a week delivering milk.. and all of that was my job history before I went into 7th grade.
Hey, we all had to work hard back then. Times were rough.
In 1948, New Bedford celebrated it's Centennial with festivals and parades. One of the parades was going to include something new... air filled comic characters and animals. Once these balloons were filled, they would need humans to hold the ropes so they did not float away. An advertisement went out that young men were needed for that job and would be paid $10 each for their efforts. Wow! A chance to earn what was a lot of money in those days.
So, I took my 14 year old body to the parade preparation area and volunteered to work. They gave me ropes to hold to keep a character up in the air (I think it was Mickey Mouse). It was a windy day, and holding those ropes was a hard job. Some of the kids had to give up and give their ropes to bigger boys to include with the ones they already had.
I stuck it out for the 2 hour parade through most of New Bedford. The vision of a ten dollar bill kept me going, even though my hands were in tough shape from holding the ropes.
Finally, the parade was over. Somebody came up and deflated the balloons, I can't remember how. Now, it was time to get our pay... but who was going to pay us kids? Everybody we asked denied that they were involved. The balloon guys were tough looking big men and we knew that they could knock us silly if we confronted them. So.. lesson learned.. when it comes to money.. don't trust anybody you don't know.
03. How's the weather up there?
Today, at the Giant Grocery Store, as I waited in a checkout line, a head suddenly appeared over the 6 foot high partition. A giant! This guy had to be maybe 8 feet tall, easily. When you are a short guy like me who has lost 4 inches in height that I couldn't afford to lose, everybody looks like they are basketball stars compared to me.
I'm sure that now you have seen the picture of the world's tallest man shaking hands with the world's smallest man. Chandra Bahadur Dangi is 21 1/2 inches tall; Sultan Kusen is 8 1/4 feet tall or 99 inches. Quite a spread.
I was reading something yesterday about Great Britain in World War I. Britain's draft accepted men who were 5 feet 2 inches or taller. If you were shorter than that, they handed you a shovel and gave you a job shoveling defensive tunnels in case of invasion.
Remember my friend Alan's story about when he was waiting in line at a theater in Ocean City, Maryland? He was standing behind a very tall person; Alan is 5 feet 4 inches tall. Alan tapped the tall man on his knee and asked him: "Hey, Mister, do you play basketball?"
The tall man turned and bent down to reply to Alan: "No. Do you play miniature golf?"
04. Hot stuff.
Speaking of Ocean City, did I mention that a drunken woman was arrested there two weeks ago for throwing a bottle through the front window of a salon? Anyway, while she was in jail, she took her panties off and draped them over the plastic telephone on the wall and set them on fire. The phone melted.
05. Facility with Language.
This is a poem by a Jamaican American (on TED, I believe):
I'm articulate.
I'm tri-lingual.
On my resume:
English/Hoodspeak/Family
06. Frustrating to Crooks.
The Clothing Arts Company (clothingarts.com) is offering pick-pocket proof trousers. Each pair has 10 pockets, 5 of which are doubly secure and two back pockets that are triply secure.
Somebody reported that The Chicago Tribune wrote about the pants: "You'll feel so emboldened, you'll want to wander through a crowd of grubby street urchins."
07. Take a deep breath!
The Baltimore-based Royal Farms gas stations are being sued for charging for air. Supposedly, Baltimore air is free and Royal Farms may have to reimburse those air customers who have paid in the last 12 years and provide air free now and forever, because: "It's air, for goodness sakes!" says a Towson Attorney.
................................................
Ok, let's take a breather now.
"From too much love of living,
From hope and fear set free,
We thank with brief thanksgiving
Whatever gods may be
That no man lives forever,
That dead men rise up never;
That even the weariest river
Winds somewhere safe to sea."
The Garden of Proserpine by Algernon Charles Swinburne (1837-1909)
Much to think of there... and, to give you something more to talk about tomorrow at the "groaning" Thanksgiving table, think on these things:
01. Here comes the parade!
The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is watched in person by 3 and 1/2 million people in New York City. For a good seat to watch from, one can reserve a hotel room (according to the New York Times.)
The Quinn Hotel on 57th St and Av of the Americas: offers s parade-view room and access for two to the balloon-inflating festivities.. for $1,249 a night, with a three night minimum.
The Mandarin Oriental New York Hotel, at Columbus Circle, offers a room, plus a photo booth (whatever that is) and cookie decorating. Their price is only $1,125 per night with a two night minimum.
The New York Hilton Midtown, on the Av of the Americas, offers rooms at $549 with a three night minimum, but folks will have to view the parade in an outside viewing area.
The Trump International Hotel and Tower New York, on Central Park West offers a room and a lanyard pass that allows private street access to the parade. (Three nights minimum for $1,400.)
If its ok with you, if I need a parade fix, I'll just turn on TV. A lot cheaper, and I'm sure parade views are much better.
02. There goes the parade!
As a street urchin in New Bedford, Massachusetts, I was always scrambling to make a buck. We were poor and I was able to help quite a bit.. I had a double sized paper route for years.. I mowed the grass for all the neighbors.. I shoveled everybody's snow.. I helped "put up" and "take down" circus tents.. I manned ring toss booths at festivals.. I swept the floor of a nearby drug store.. I collected paper to convert to cash.. I sold peanuts at sports events.. I spent 4am to 7am six days a week delivering milk.. and all of that was my job history before I went into 7th grade.
Hey, we all had to work hard back then. Times were rough.
In 1948, New Bedford celebrated it's Centennial with festivals and parades. One of the parades was going to include something new... air filled comic characters and animals. Once these balloons were filled, they would need humans to hold the ropes so they did not float away. An advertisement went out that young men were needed for that job and would be paid $10 each for their efforts. Wow! A chance to earn what was a lot of money in those days.
So, I took my 14 year old body to the parade preparation area and volunteered to work. They gave me ropes to hold to keep a character up in the air (I think it was Mickey Mouse). It was a windy day, and holding those ropes was a hard job. Some of the kids had to give up and give their ropes to bigger boys to include with the ones they already had.
I stuck it out for the 2 hour parade through most of New Bedford. The vision of a ten dollar bill kept me going, even though my hands were in tough shape from holding the ropes.
Finally, the parade was over. Somebody came up and deflated the balloons, I can't remember how. Now, it was time to get our pay... but who was going to pay us kids? Everybody we asked denied that they were involved. The balloon guys were tough looking big men and we knew that they could knock us silly if we confronted them. So.. lesson learned.. when it comes to money.. don't trust anybody you don't know.
03. How's the weather up there?
Today, at the Giant Grocery Store, as I waited in a checkout line, a head suddenly appeared over the 6 foot high partition. A giant! This guy had to be maybe 8 feet tall, easily. When you are a short guy like me who has lost 4 inches in height that I couldn't afford to lose, everybody looks like they are basketball stars compared to me.
I'm sure that now you have seen the picture of the world's tallest man shaking hands with the world's smallest man. Chandra Bahadur Dangi is 21 1/2 inches tall; Sultan Kusen is 8 1/4 feet tall or 99 inches. Quite a spread.
I was reading something yesterday about Great Britain in World War I. Britain's draft accepted men who were 5 feet 2 inches or taller. If you were shorter than that, they handed you a shovel and gave you a job shoveling defensive tunnels in case of invasion.
Remember my friend Alan's story about when he was waiting in line at a theater in Ocean City, Maryland? He was standing behind a very tall person; Alan is 5 feet 4 inches tall. Alan tapped the tall man on his knee and asked him: "Hey, Mister, do you play basketball?"
The tall man turned and bent down to reply to Alan: "No. Do you play miniature golf?"
04. Hot stuff.
Speaking of Ocean City, did I mention that a drunken woman was arrested there two weeks ago for throwing a bottle through the front window of a salon? Anyway, while she was in jail, she took her panties off and draped them over the plastic telephone on the wall and set them on fire. The phone melted.
05. Facility with Language.
This is a poem by a Jamaican American (on TED, I believe):
I'm articulate.
I'm tri-lingual.
On my resume:
English/Hoodspeak/Family
06. Frustrating to Crooks.
The Clothing Arts Company (clothingarts.com) is offering pick-pocket proof trousers. Each pair has 10 pockets, 5 of which are doubly secure and two back pockets that are triply secure.
Somebody reported that The Chicago Tribune wrote about the pants: "You'll feel so emboldened, you'll want to wander through a crowd of grubby street urchins."
07. Take a deep breath!
The Baltimore-based Royal Farms gas stations are being sued for charging for air. Supposedly, Baltimore air is free and Royal Farms may have to reimburse those air customers who have paid in the last 12 years and provide air free now and forever, because: "It's air, for goodness sakes!" says a Towson Attorney.
................................................
Ok, let's take a breather now.
Monday, November 24, 2014
Algae Virus; SWAT Raids; Whale Snot; Pooh Pants; Chickens; Pigeons; Mucus; XMAS Gifts; Stupid Criminals; Spicy Noodles; Beer for Your Brain
30 degrees yesterday, 70 degrees today.. wow!
"I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens.
And that is why I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons." Ogden Nash
I mean, of course, the Republicans... only kidding.. kind of.
Well, let's see if I can find 12 weird things to talk about:
01. Personalized Salad?
Scientists at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, have found traces of an algae virus in people's throats. We've known for years that some plant viruses replicate themselves in insects, but not in animals. However, now we may have to rethink that knowledge, because the scientists think that there may be a link between an algae virus and human brain functions, especially like attention spans.
02. Home Invasions?
Harper's Index tells us that the average number of SWAT raids carried out per day in Maryland since 2009 is 4.5. I assume the police had probable cause and got permission from the courts. I wonder where these raids were held. In Baltimore? Frederick? Westminster? I would like to see more information on this situation, because since I run the local TRIAD group, I am very interested in such statistics.. and this statistic bothers me.
03. Wipe your nose!
Chuck Shepherd remarks in Funny Times: Apparently, some folks are interested in the stress level of whales, and lie in wait for a whale to blow snot out of its blowhole, for indelicate human examination. However, some engineering researchers are working on a more civilized collection method: radio-controlled, mucus-trapping drones.
04. Shame Shame!
Officials in Tuszyn, Poland, have decided that a pants-less Winnie the Pooh is inappropriate for a children's playground. While debating the issue, one town councilman posited that he thought that Pooh doesn't wear underpants because he doesn't have sex and is an hermaphrodite. I guess they will also reject Donald Duck.. but I think Mickey Mouse will be ok.
05. Cluck Cluck!
Apparently, there is not as much TV in Britain for Senior Citizens to watch, so Health Departments have decided that they need something to do to keep senior brains active. So, now, senior citizens can get free chickens to care for. This should keep those synapses working.
06. Coo Coo!
According to Monica Hoose and Carolyn Naifeh, a few years ago, a Baltimore man was arrested for stealing 70 homing pigeons. Police found some of them inside his pants. Thomas Waddell was waddling along in bulging pants. An officer approached Thomas, and he began pulling pigeons from his pants. He pulled out 21 live pigeons and 5 dead ones.
07. Didn't I tell you to Wipe Your nose?!
Internet information: You produce a quart of mucus in your nose each day.
08. Christmas Gifts?
The New York Times says: "Shop our Holiday 2014 Preview for CollectiblesYou'll Treasure."
For example:
Vintage Rolex Watches: $3,200. (From 1970's and 1980's)
Restored Typewriter: $950. (1950's)
Stadium Infield Dirt from all 30 Ballparks: $249.
Red Crocodile Jewelry Boxes: $1,600 (Andaluz)
09. Dumb Criminal
Chuck Shepherd says that a young man in Northern Ireland entered a supermarket, put a plastic garbage bag over his head and waited in line to get to a cashier. However, he soon got tired of waiting and left, saying: "I'll be back." He didn't get back.. he got arrested instead.
10. Another Dumb Criminal
This guy tried to rob some folks by holding up a Xerox copy of a pistol.
11. Oodles of Noodles
The Week: A Chinese restaurant owner recently confessed to mixing opium with his noodles, to keep the customers coming back. One of those customers tested positive for drugs during a routine traffic stop just after he had had a nice noodle meal. Other customers tested positive and so police were able to figure out what had happened.
12. I've always said that drinking beer makes you smarter!
The Week: A recent study found that a flavonoid found in hops and beer made mice smarter. Sounds good! However, for humans to get the same Mensa effect, they would have to drink 3,500 pints of beer each every day. A bit much, unfortunately.
........................................................
That's my 12.. bye bye.
.......................................................
"I find it very difficult to enthuse
Over the current news.
Just when you think that at least the outlook is so black that it can grow no blacker, it worsens.
And that is why I do not like to get the news, because there has never been an era when so many things were going so right for so many of the wrong persons." Ogden Nash
I mean, of course, the Republicans... only kidding.. kind of.
Well, let's see if I can find 12 weird things to talk about:
01. Personalized Salad?
Scientists at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, have found traces of an algae virus in people's throats. We've known for years that some plant viruses replicate themselves in insects, but not in animals. However, now we may have to rethink that knowledge, because the scientists think that there may be a link between an algae virus and human brain functions, especially like attention spans.
02. Home Invasions?
Harper's Index tells us that the average number of SWAT raids carried out per day in Maryland since 2009 is 4.5. I assume the police had probable cause and got permission from the courts. I wonder where these raids were held. In Baltimore? Frederick? Westminster? I would like to see more information on this situation, because since I run the local TRIAD group, I am very interested in such statistics.. and this statistic bothers me.
03. Wipe your nose!
Chuck Shepherd remarks in Funny Times: Apparently, some folks are interested in the stress level of whales, and lie in wait for a whale to blow snot out of its blowhole, for indelicate human examination. However, some engineering researchers are working on a more civilized collection method: radio-controlled, mucus-trapping drones.
04. Shame Shame!
Officials in Tuszyn, Poland, have decided that a pants-less Winnie the Pooh is inappropriate for a children's playground. While debating the issue, one town councilman posited that he thought that Pooh doesn't wear underpants because he doesn't have sex and is an hermaphrodite. I guess they will also reject Donald Duck.. but I think Mickey Mouse will be ok.
05. Cluck Cluck!
Apparently, there is not as much TV in Britain for Senior Citizens to watch, so Health Departments have decided that they need something to do to keep senior brains active. So, now, senior citizens can get free chickens to care for. This should keep those synapses working.
06. Coo Coo!
According to Monica Hoose and Carolyn Naifeh, a few years ago, a Baltimore man was arrested for stealing 70 homing pigeons. Police found some of them inside his pants. Thomas Waddell was waddling along in bulging pants. An officer approached Thomas, and he began pulling pigeons from his pants. He pulled out 21 live pigeons and 5 dead ones.
07. Didn't I tell you to Wipe Your nose?!
Internet information: You produce a quart of mucus in your nose each day.
08. Christmas Gifts?
The New York Times says: "Shop our Holiday 2014 Preview for CollectiblesYou'll Treasure."
For example:
Vintage Rolex Watches: $3,200. (From 1970's and 1980's)
Restored Typewriter: $950. (1950's)
Stadium Infield Dirt from all 30 Ballparks: $249.
Red Crocodile Jewelry Boxes: $1,600 (Andaluz)
09. Dumb Criminal
Chuck Shepherd says that a young man in Northern Ireland entered a supermarket, put a plastic garbage bag over his head and waited in line to get to a cashier. However, he soon got tired of waiting and left, saying: "I'll be back." He didn't get back.. he got arrested instead.
10. Another Dumb Criminal
This guy tried to rob some folks by holding up a Xerox copy of a pistol.
11. Oodles of Noodles
The Week: A Chinese restaurant owner recently confessed to mixing opium with his noodles, to keep the customers coming back. One of those customers tested positive for drugs during a routine traffic stop just after he had had a nice noodle meal. Other customers tested positive and so police were able to figure out what had happened.
12. I've always said that drinking beer makes you smarter!
The Week: A recent study found that a flavonoid found in hops and beer made mice smarter. Sounds good! However, for humans to get the same Mensa effect, they would have to drink 3,500 pints of beer each every day. A bit much, unfortunately.
........................................................
That's my 12.. bye bye.
.......................................................
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