Here are some new items mixed in with old items:
01. 2010: Solution to the monetary crisis: Even though the State of Missouri is having so many financial problems, they feel good that they have figured a way out of the situation. They will deduct $1 every week from their Governor's salary to invest in PowerBall, or whatever that Lottery is called. All money won will be used to pay down Missouri's debt.
02. 1998: Diabetes: CBS reports that an insulin inhaler is being developed. (Was it developed? I think that they already had the "pump" at that time.
03. 2010: Carotid clearance: A study has reported that a stent procedure to clear a clogged carotid artery works just as well as an operation. (Why didn't they tell me that two years ago!)
04. 2010: "Chips": In Britain, they are trying to develop a "chip" made out of meat. (Would that be a "potato chip" or a "chip" as in Britain's famous "fish and chips"?)
I wish I could find a place to eat true English fish and chips! You can get it back in New Bedford, Massachusetts, but I have not found the same thing anywhere in the Mid-Atlantic. The closest was at Arthur Treacher's Restaurant, but they closed down all of those places anywhere near where I live. I think there might be one left in Maryland somewhere, but I haven't found it yet.
05. 1998: WOW Chips: Speaking of "chips", in 1998 the FDA gave a "thumbs up" to Olestra. Products using it were supposed to be still high calorie, but have no fat grams. I tried some of them at the time and found that they did not like my digestion and haven't tried them since, knowingly. I guess you can still get Olestra products in the Super Market.
06. 2010: Mr. Toyoda: I have wondered why the head of the family-based car company doesn't have the same name as the car. I heard today, somewhere, that it is because the stroke for "T" is not as lucky as the stroke for "D" in Japanese ideograms, so it was changed.. (maybe they should have changed the stroke for the car name also, and they might not be having so many problems.)
Incidentally, I took my RAV4 in to the Toyota dealer for my 5,000 maintenance, and while I was there, they did the recall fix for the accelerator.
By the way, to graduate from a Japanese grammar school, a student must know 881 characters (ideograms). To graduate from High School, a student must know 1,850, and to read at a college level, a student must know 3,000.
All of these characters are built up from less than 300 elements or pictures. These pictures were drawn by the Chinese similar to Egyptian hieroglyphics. The Japanese borrowed these characters from the Chinese over 2,000 years ago.
07. 1998: Leo Buscaglia: One of my favorite people passed away on June 12, 1998. Leo Buscaglia was a California professor who taught a class in LOVE. In addition to his class, he gave televised lectures on the subject and wrote a number of books about love.
Luckily, I taped his presentations whenever I found them on TV. His whole life was built around letting people know what love was all about. At his lectures, everyone was hugged by him before they left. His death was a great loss to the world, in my opinion.
My cousin, Charlie, and his family live in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and attend a Baptist church there. The preacher, until a few years ago, was from Baltimore and had a Bethlehem Steel background. I visited the church a few times and the preacher always had a line waiting for him after the services. They were waiting to get a hug from him. What a great idea! I don't see or experience many hugs any more. Perhaps it is because of a fear of the flu. I have read that hugs are good medicine and buttress our immune systems.. maybe after the flu goes away, we can get back to hugging.
08. 2010: Cartalk definitions:
Lymph: To walk with a lisp.
MacAdam: The first Scotsman.
09. 1998: Airline crashes: Tom Snyder (Remember him? The 6'8" Late Late Show host .. replaced by 6'8" Conan O'Brien!) said that statistics showed that more people are killed by donkeys each year than are killed in airline crashes. (Let that be a lesson to you!)
10. 2010: Healthy flies: A college professor has developed a method for exercising fruit flies so they will be healthier for use in experiments.
Time flies like the wind,
Fruit flies like bananas.
11. 2010: Accident: It had to happen. Two police segways crashed into each other. (By the way, did you know that the first automobile accident in the U. S. occured in Baltimore?)
12. 2010: Vital statistics:
The most dangerous food in the U.S. is the hot dog. (Apparently, children choke on them, and scientists are trying to change their shape to make them safer.)
The laziest people in the world live in the United States. (Maybe that fruit fly professor should come up with an innovative way for everyone to exercise.)
Bonus
1998 and 2010: Words: Back in 1998, I read where no word rhymes with month, purple or orange. I have been trying since then to find words that did complete those rhymes. No luck, yet. Perhaps my long-lost brother Joe (if he is reading this) may have found some already since he is a noted word expert.
Can you find rhyming words for month, purple or orange?
Saturday, February 27, 2010
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Weekly Dozen @ 02/20/2010
Here are some backlogged items:
01. Last year, Time magazine mentioned two special inventions that they did not particularly like:
a. A bra that can easily be converted into two gasmasks.
b. Software that scans the smiles of Japanese railway employees to make sure that they exude the proper amount of cheerfulness.
(Japanese-watchers have also been reporting on the depth of Mr. Toyoda's bows when apologizing for automobile glitzes. Apparently one can tell a lot about people's intentions by how low they bow.)
02. Why is it that all real famous people were born on holidays? (Washington, Lincoln, King, etc.)
03. Who was this "Red" Roundtree who was arrested in 2003 for trying to rob a bank at the age of 91?
04. The Vice President of Nigeria has a great name: Goodluck Jonathan. (Baltimore's own H.L.Mencken gets into "different" names in his classic study The American Language. For instance, at one time, Doctors at Johns Hopkins would name the babies for poor women who had their labor in that hospital.. one of the names given out, supposedly appropriately, was Positive Wasserman Johnson.)
05. Some art experts are declaring that the Mona Lisa is a self-portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci in drag. (Take a good look and compare after dropping the beard.. there may be some truth to this.)
06. I'm sure that now you have heard about the famous cricketeer who shocked the sports world by biting the ball during a match. This is cheating at cricket on a large scale, similar to throwing a "spitball" at a batter's head.
07. Recently, a Denver advertisement for a job as "medical marijuana reviewer" netted lots of applications.
08. A woman has filed a lawsuit against her boss for "breaking wind" in her cubicle.
(Cruel and unusual punishment, now probably considered on a par with smoking in one's area.)
09. John Gay died in 1732, and had chiseled on his tombstone:
Life is a jest,
And all things show it.
I thought so once,
And now I know it.
10. Sarah Palin had crib notes written on her hand for her recent Tea Party Convention speech. (I wonder if someone was able to photograph those notes. They would be worth thousands of dollars.)
11. Dallas, Texas police have been issuing tickets to people for not speaking English. (What law does this break?)
12. A freight train was parked in front of a woman's house for six week. During that time, she had to scoot under the train to get out into the world.
When I was in High School and walked to school down a certain street, there was always a large truck parked across the street and sidewalk, taking on items for delivery. This was a challenge to us boys, who scooted under the truck.. while the motor was running and the gearshift was about to be engaged. The girls were not as dumb as the boys.. they waited for the truck to move out of the way or took another route.
Extra: South Carolina's Mark Sanford, thinking ahead, had the "faithfulness promise" removed from the wedding vow for his marriage.
................................................
01. Last year, Time magazine mentioned two special inventions that they did not particularly like:
a. A bra that can easily be converted into two gasmasks.
b. Software that scans the smiles of Japanese railway employees to make sure that they exude the proper amount of cheerfulness.
(Japanese-watchers have also been reporting on the depth of Mr. Toyoda's bows when apologizing for automobile glitzes. Apparently one can tell a lot about people's intentions by how low they bow.)
02. Why is it that all real famous people were born on holidays? (Washington, Lincoln, King, etc.)
03. Who was this "Red" Roundtree who was arrested in 2003 for trying to rob a bank at the age of 91?
04. The Vice President of Nigeria has a great name: Goodluck Jonathan. (Baltimore's own H.L.Mencken gets into "different" names in his classic study The American Language. For instance, at one time, Doctors at Johns Hopkins would name the babies for poor women who had their labor in that hospital.. one of the names given out, supposedly appropriately, was Positive Wasserman Johnson.)
05. Some art experts are declaring that the Mona Lisa is a self-portrait of Leonardo Da Vinci in drag. (Take a good look and compare after dropping the beard.. there may be some truth to this.)
06. I'm sure that now you have heard about the famous cricketeer who shocked the sports world by biting the ball during a match. This is cheating at cricket on a large scale, similar to throwing a "spitball" at a batter's head.
07. Recently, a Denver advertisement for a job as "medical marijuana reviewer" netted lots of applications.
08. A woman has filed a lawsuit against her boss for "breaking wind" in her cubicle.
(Cruel and unusual punishment, now probably considered on a par with smoking in one's area.)
09. John Gay died in 1732, and had chiseled on his tombstone:
Life is a jest,
And all things show it.
I thought so once,
And now I know it.
10. Sarah Palin had crib notes written on her hand for her recent Tea Party Convention speech. (I wonder if someone was able to photograph those notes. They would be worth thousands of dollars.)
11. Dallas, Texas police have been issuing tickets to people for not speaking English. (What law does this break?)
12. A freight train was parked in front of a woman's house for six week. During that time, she had to scoot under the train to get out into the world.
When I was in High School and walked to school down a certain street, there was always a large truck parked across the street and sidewalk, taking on items for delivery. This was a challenge to us boys, who scooted under the truck.. while the motor was running and the gearshift was about to be engaged. The girls were not as dumb as the boys.. they waited for the truck to move out of the way or took another route.
Extra: South Carolina's Mark Sanford, thinking ahead, had the "faithfulness promise" removed from the wedding vow for his marriage.
................................................
Saturday, February 13, 2010
Valentine's Day
She slinked into the bedroom and climbed onto the wide soft bed. She was ready for the loving caresses that she begged for each night. She looked forward to these nightly expressions of love, so important to a female. As she was caressed, she let out little sounds of delight. Yes, SuZee, our pretty little Siamese cat needed those reassurances that she was loved.
Gotcha!
On Valentine's Day all females, human and otherwise, need to be reassured that they are loved. So, guys, if you haven't gotten something for your loved one yet, you'd better get moving before the stores close.
Many years ago, when finances were tight, my wife and I decided that we would not get anything for each other for Valentine's Day. I went to work, pleased that I did not have to rush around finding something appropriate to the day. However, on that same day, I had to wait outside of a computer room while a job was run. When it was over, I would be able to test a computer program.
As I sat there, I heard two secretaries talking: One said: "My boyfriend and I agreed that we would not get something for each other for Valentine's Day." The other said: "Are you serious? Do you think that he really won't get you anything?" The first lady said: "Well, if the son-of-a-bitch doesn't get me anything, I'll cut his ----- off."
Being an astute student of humankind, I took these comments to heart and after work made sure that I bought an appropriate card and some cheap chocolates. On the next day, my wife presented me with a nice card and was extremely happy that I had gotten her some gifts as well. See.. I'm not as dumb as I look, and I listen to what others have to say.
A certain lady of my acquaintance had the same experience.. she and her husband "agreed" to forego giving gifts on Valentine's Day. On that day, she looked for at least a card from her husband.. but he hadn't gotten the message and replied: "You said we weren't going to give each other anything this year, so I didn't get you anything."
Well, it is now 40 years later, and she hasn't forgiven him yet.. and never will.
Gentlemen, take these words to heart and remember: If mama ain't happen, regardless of what she says in advance, nobody is going to be happy. So, get your butt out there and get her a Valentine's Day card and some nice juicy chocolates before the damn store closes!
...............................................
Gotcha!
On Valentine's Day all females, human and otherwise, need to be reassured that they are loved. So, guys, if you haven't gotten something for your loved one yet, you'd better get moving before the stores close.
Many years ago, when finances were tight, my wife and I decided that we would not get anything for each other for Valentine's Day. I went to work, pleased that I did not have to rush around finding something appropriate to the day. However, on that same day, I had to wait outside of a computer room while a job was run. When it was over, I would be able to test a computer program.
As I sat there, I heard two secretaries talking: One said: "My boyfriend and I agreed that we would not get something for each other for Valentine's Day." The other said: "Are you serious? Do you think that he really won't get you anything?" The first lady said: "Well, if the son-of-a-bitch doesn't get me anything, I'll cut his ----- off."
Being an astute student of humankind, I took these comments to heart and after work made sure that I bought an appropriate card and some cheap chocolates. On the next day, my wife presented me with a nice card and was extremely happy that I had gotten her some gifts as well. See.. I'm not as dumb as I look, and I listen to what others have to say.
A certain lady of my acquaintance had the same experience.. she and her husband "agreed" to forego giving gifts on Valentine's Day. On that day, she looked for at least a card from her husband.. but he hadn't gotten the message and replied: "You said we weren't going to give each other anything this year, so I didn't get you anything."
Well, it is now 40 years later, and she hasn't forgiven him yet.. and never will.
Gentlemen, take these words to heart and remember: If mama ain't happen, regardless of what she says in advance, nobody is going to be happy. So, get your butt out there and get her a Valentine's Day card and some nice juicy chocolates before the damn store closes!
...............................................
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
I Love Snow
The poet Shelley (you know, the Blythe Spirit guy) said:
I love snow, and all the forms
Of the radiant frost.
I also love snow, but maybe not so much of it.
When I was in grammar school, I was required to memorize several poems. Unfortunately, I was only able to remember the first few lines of each, try as I might.
(The only feat of memorization that I accomplished was the books of the Bible, when I was in a Baptist Sunday School. However, when it came time to demonstrate my prowess, I got stage-fright and couldn't even start to talk.)
One of the bits of poem that I was able to memorize was from James Russell Lowell's poem:
The First Snow-Fall.
The snow had begun in the gloaming
And busily all the night,
Had been heaping field and highway
With a silence deep and white.
The rest of the poem was kind of sad, so I was not eager to memorize it. This sadness surprized me, because Mr. Lowell was the only one of the famous Massachusetts 19th Century poets who normally did humorous and satirical work.
(By the way, Mr. Lowell was the author of the influential Biglow papers.. the first series of which lambasted the Mexican War.. the second series of which was concerned with the Civil War.)
I was interested in this word "gloaming" = dusk. I found that the word probably was derived from Middle English "gloming", from "glom" meaning "dusk". The words "gloom" and "gloomy" come from these roots.
Remember: "Roaming through the gloaming, with my sweetheart by my side." I think this was a line from a Scottish song popularized by Sir Harry Lauder.
Well, the TV announcer says that Eldersburg, Maryland has now received over 20" of snow today.. on top of the 28" they received a couple of days ago. (That's four feet of snow in one week, folks.. more than at Vancouver for the Winter Olympics.) Eldersburg is about 10 miles away from where we are.. and we probably have received as much as they have.
The 40 mph wind gusts are still heaping drifts around our house.. in addition, a Bobcat with a snow blower keeps going by and blowing snow all over the drifts.
Things like mailboxes and fire hydrants disappeared from sight long ago. The poor birds are flying around looking for food and we have cabin fever, but there is no way we could venture out in this blizzard.
The snow is supposed to stop in three hours, but the winds will keep it drifting until tomorrow morning when the sun will miraculously appear to warm us up a bit and melt all of the icicles.
If I were younger, I would now be out shoveling snow. I loved to do that, especially when I was a teenager. On a day after a big snow storm, I could sometimes make $10 shoveling people out. (Ten dollars was big money when I was a kid.)
Now, I live in a "continuing care community" and they don't advise any of us old dudes to shovel snow. At 3 AM this morning, I heard some Spanish, turned on my porch light, and discovered an older man shoveling my porch. He did a good job, but by 8 AM, we were snowed in again. A group of guys came by around ten AM and shoveled the porch again. The snow quickly piled up again and I guess they gave up because the porch snow is now shoulder-high. Maybe they'll come back in the early morning when the snow and blowing stops.
If I'm lucky, they will shovel out my driveway. However, there will still be six feet of snow on top of my car and I'll have to get that put somewhere. I am still young enough to be able to do physical things, but some of my neighbors are quite elderly. I hope they don't try to shovel anything because a heart is a terrible thing to lose.
..........................................................
I love snow, and all the forms
Of the radiant frost.
I also love snow, but maybe not so much of it.
When I was in grammar school, I was required to memorize several poems. Unfortunately, I was only able to remember the first few lines of each, try as I might.
(The only feat of memorization that I accomplished was the books of the Bible, when I was in a Baptist Sunday School. However, when it came time to demonstrate my prowess, I got stage-fright and couldn't even start to talk.)
One of the bits of poem that I was able to memorize was from James Russell Lowell's poem:
The First Snow-Fall.
The snow had begun in the gloaming
And busily all the night,
Had been heaping field and highway
With a silence deep and white.
The rest of the poem was kind of sad, so I was not eager to memorize it. This sadness surprized me, because Mr. Lowell was the only one of the famous Massachusetts 19th Century poets who normally did humorous and satirical work.
(By the way, Mr. Lowell was the author of the influential Biglow papers.. the first series of which lambasted the Mexican War.. the second series of which was concerned with the Civil War.)
I was interested in this word "gloaming" = dusk. I found that the word probably was derived from Middle English "gloming", from "glom" meaning "dusk". The words "gloom" and "gloomy" come from these roots.
Remember: "Roaming through the gloaming, with my sweetheart by my side." I think this was a line from a Scottish song popularized by Sir Harry Lauder.
Well, the TV announcer says that Eldersburg, Maryland has now received over 20" of snow today.. on top of the 28" they received a couple of days ago. (That's four feet of snow in one week, folks.. more than at Vancouver for the Winter Olympics.) Eldersburg is about 10 miles away from where we are.. and we probably have received as much as they have.
The 40 mph wind gusts are still heaping drifts around our house.. in addition, a Bobcat with a snow blower keeps going by and blowing snow all over the drifts.
Things like mailboxes and fire hydrants disappeared from sight long ago. The poor birds are flying around looking for food and we have cabin fever, but there is no way we could venture out in this blizzard.
The snow is supposed to stop in three hours, but the winds will keep it drifting until tomorrow morning when the sun will miraculously appear to warm us up a bit and melt all of the icicles.
If I were younger, I would now be out shoveling snow. I loved to do that, especially when I was a teenager. On a day after a big snow storm, I could sometimes make $10 shoveling people out. (Ten dollars was big money when I was a kid.)
Now, I live in a "continuing care community" and they don't advise any of us old dudes to shovel snow. At 3 AM this morning, I heard some Spanish, turned on my porch light, and discovered an older man shoveling my porch. He did a good job, but by 8 AM, we were snowed in again. A group of guys came by around ten AM and shoveled the porch again. The snow quickly piled up again and I guess they gave up because the porch snow is now shoulder-high. Maybe they'll come back in the early morning when the snow and blowing stops.
If I'm lucky, they will shovel out my driveway. However, there will still be six feet of snow on top of my car and I'll have to get that put somewhere. I am still young enough to be able to do physical things, but some of my neighbors are quite elderly. I hope they don't try to shovel anything because a heart is a terrible thing to lose.
..........................................................
Friday, February 05, 2010
Random Thoughts for a Snowy Afternoon in Maryland
I just got back from the Giant Supermarket. It was a madhouse! Everybody in Maryland must buy milk, bread and toilet paper before every storm, even if their larder is already stocked. On the radio, it was reported that people in a Columbia, Maryland market were fighting over bread!
We are supposed to get over a foot of snow. This means that everything will stop in this area. Of course, there will still be young folks out there driving as though it were a sunny Spring day. As a former taxi-driver in New England, I lived through quite a few snow storms of very large proportions (once about 48"). We learned early in our driving careers about how to maneuver in slippery, slushy conditions.
How many people remember when one had to put chains on your tires in order to move in the snow? It took only a couple of big snow storms to learn how to quickly apply those metal life-savers. Of course, they usually broke a few blocks away from your goal and you had to "get out and get under" to get them repaired and ready to use again. Some years ago, snow tires were invented and that did away with chains, except in the more northern climes of the U.S.
Now I have to tell my Baltimore snow stories. If you have heard them from me before, just scroll through to the end.
I left Massachusetts in 1960 to come to work for Social Security in Baltimore. Relatives and friends advised us not to take Winter clothes because Maryland was below the Mason-Dixon line and warm all the time. We made our scantily-clad way to Pulaski Highway and holed up at a truckstop motel made of cinder blocks that were not quite matched up on the ends.
This would not have been a problem if the weather was indeed warm. But, instead, it was below freezing, and the wind was blowing snow through the cracks between the cinder blocks. We had never been so cold in our lives.
But, we stuck it out and borrowed enough clothes from co-workers to allow us to be somewhat warm until I got my first paycheck and we could buy some coats and sweaters.
My first Social Security assignment was to get training at the Standard Oil Building in downtown Baltimore. Some might know that it is situated at the side of a very steep hill. While in training, Baltimore was hit with a 6-inch snow storm during the day, and because there was no snow policy at the time, we were required to stay in our training area all day.
We had a lot of fun though, looking out the window overlooking the steep hill. The year before then had been a year with no snow precipitation at all, so the City of Baltimore sold all of their snow removal equipment and the hill remained very slippery with snow. Cars were having a hard time getting up and down. Some local politician got the bright idea that this condition could be fixed by using the hose unit of a fire comany truck.
The truck pulled up to the top of the hill, hooked a hose to a hydrant, and began to pour water down the snow-covered hill. This worked great in removing the snow.. but it wasn't so great when the water froze. I had never seen so many cars ski down that hill. Most of them made it to the bottom without hitting anything.. but some didn't. It was a great show.
Since the 1960's snow has been a regular visitor to the Baltimore area, but still not enough to allow drivers to learn how to maneuver in it. I taught safe driving to seniors for eight years and learned that it is almost impossible to explain how to drive in snow and ice when you are teaching in a classroom environment. One needs "on the job" experience.
In cities like Montreal, Canada, people adapt quite well to Winter weather. I visited there once in February and there was snow everywhere. People were doing cross-country skiing all over the place. Not many cars were being used at all. Besides skis, people were using the excellent subway system and shopping in Montreal's underground city.
During that Montreal trip, I put on an unplanned exhibition for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, but that will have to be the subject of another blog. Meanwhile, I am going to sit here at my kitchen window and watch the snow fall.
......................................................................
We are supposed to get over a foot of snow. This means that everything will stop in this area. Of course, there will still be young folks out there driving as though it were a sunny Spring day. As a former taxi-driver in New England, I lived through quite a few snow storms of very large proportions (once about 48"). We learned early in our driving careers about how to maneuver in slippery, slushy conditions.
How many people remember when one had to put chains on your tires in order to move in the snow? It took only a couple of big snow storms to learn how to quickly apply those metal life-savers. Of course, they usually broke a few blocks away from your goal and you had to "get out and get under" to get them repaired and ready to use again. Some years ago, snow tires were invented and that did away with chains, except in the more northern climes of the U.S.
Now I have to tell my Baltimore snow stories. If you have heard them from me before, just scroll through to the end.
I left Massachusetts in 1960 to come to work for Social Security in Baltimore. Relatives and friends advised us not to take Winter clothes because Maryland was below the Mason-Dixon line and warm all the time. We made our scantily-clad way to Pulaski Highway and holed up at a truckstop motel made of cinder blocks that were not quite matched up on the ends.
This would not have been a problem if the weather was indeed warm. But, instead, it was below freezing, and the wind was blowing snow through the cracks between the cinder blocks. We had never been so cold in our lives.
But, we stuck it out and borrowed enough clothes from co-workers to allow us to be somewhat warm until I got my first paycheck and we could buy some coats and sweaters.
My first Social Security assignment was to get training at the Standard Oil Building in downtown Baltimore. Some might know that it is situated at the side of a very steep hill. While in training, Baltimore was hit with a 6-inch snow storm during the day, and because there was no snow policy at the time, we were required to stay in our training area all day.
We had a lot of fun though, looking out the window overlooking the steep hill. The year before then had been a year with no snow precipitation at all, so the City of Baltimore sold all of their snow removal equipment and the hill remained very slippery with snow. Cars were having a hard time getting up and down. Some local politician got the bright idea that this condition could be fixed by using the hose unit of a fire comany truck.
The truck pulled up to the top of the hill, hooked a hose to a hydrant, and began to pour water down the snow-covered hill. This worked great in removing the snow.. but it wasn't so great when the water froze. I had never seen so many cars ski down that hill. Most of them made it to the bottom without hitting anything.. but some didn't. It was a great show.
Since the 1960's snow has been a regular visitor to the Baltimore area, but still not enough to allow drivers to learn how to maneuver in it. I taught safe driving to seniors for eight years and learned that it is almost impossible to explain how to drive in snow and ice when you are teaching in a classroom environment. One needs "on the job" experience.
In cities like Montreal, Canada, people adapt quite well to Winter weather. I visited there once in February and there was snow everywhere. People were doing cross-country skiing all over the place. Not many cars were being used at all. Besides skis, people were using the excellent subway system and shopping in Montreal's underground city.
During that Montreal trip, I put on an unplanned exhibition for the Royal Canadian Mounted Police, but that will have to be the subject of another blog. Meanwhile, I am going to sit here at my kitchen window and watch the snow fall.
......................................................................
Wednesday, February 03, 2010
A Fairy Tale
Several people have sent me this fairy tale via email. It has to be a fairy tale because it is simply too amazing to be true.. but, of course, we live in a time of amazing stories. Here goes:
Immediately after the shooting at the military base in Oregon, the armed guard at the fort hospital was surprised to see the President arive alone in a car he was driving. After the startled guard recognized and allowed the President to enter the facility, the President met with the wounded people and paid his respects to the fallen.
Wow.. what a story... a President who cares enough to come to the base and pay his respects. But wait, who was that President? Why it was George W. Bush! President Obama didn't show up until a few days later.. shame on him.
Now.. that's a great story, that shows us what a kind and thoughtful person President Bush is and how thoughtless President Obama is. And isn't it amazing that:
President Bush drove 2,000 miles alone, in his own car to reach the base.
President Bush somehow convinced the Secret Service men who are assigned to every retired President 24/7 that they should allow him to drive unaccompanied all that distance.
Where were the newspaper reporters? Where was Laura? What about his staff?
Where did the President stay over night? Did he drive all the way through without stopping? Did he sleep in the car? Did he have a change of clothes? A toothbrush?
Why didn't anybody recognize him when he stopped to eat lunch or to pee?
Perhaps he parachuted in and rented a car in town.
Perhaps it was a George W. Bush look-alike. Some of these guys are "dead ringers" for Mr. Bush. Why didn't that guard ask for identification? What were his orders about letting unauthorized people onto the grounds?
Suppose it was a terrorist in Bush disguise.
I didn't know that Carl Rove was back in business.
Enough!
Some folks will make up any story to discredit President Obama, by making it sound like he doesn't care. As an Independent, I try to see what both parties are about and I know that "dirty tricks" are not confined to just one Party; however, to try to make up stories in an attempt to cause a President of the United States to fail, is disreputable, in my opinion. Even those who thought that President Bush was ill suited to the job, did not want him to fail. Methinks I detect some racist tendencies here.. I hope I am wrong.
........................................
Immediately after the shooting at the military base in Oregon, the armed guard at the fort hospital was surprised to see the President arive alone in a car he was driving. After the startled guard recognized and allowed the President to enter the facility, the President met with the wounded people and paid his respects to the fallen.
Wow.. what a story... a President who cares enough to come to the base and pay his respects. But wait, who was that President? Why it was George W. Bush! President Obama didn't show up until a few days later.. shame on him.
Now.. that's a great story, that shows us what a kind and thoughtful person President Bush is and how thoughtless President Obama is. And isn't it amazing that:
President Bush drove 2,000 miles alone, in his own car to reach the base.
President Bush somehow convinced the Secret Service men who are assigned to every retired President 24/7 that they should allow him to drive unaccompanied all that distance.
Where were the newspaper reporters? Where was Laura? What about his staff?
Where did the President stay over night? Did he drive all the way through without stopping? Did he sleep in the car? Did he have a change of clothes? A toothbrush?
Why didn't anybody recognize him when he stopped to eat lunch or to pee?
Perhaps he parachuted in and rented a car in town.
Perhaps it was a George W. Bush look-alike. Some of these guys are "dead ringers" for Mr. Bush. Why didn't that guard ask for identification? What were his orders about letting unauthorized people onto the grounds?
Suppose it was a terrorist in Bush disguise.
I didn't know that Carl Rove was back in business.
Enough!
Some folks will make up any story to discredit President Obama, by making it sound like he doesn't care. As an Independent, I try to see what both parties are about and I know that "dirty tricks" are not confined to just one Party; however, to try to make up stories in an attempt to cause a President of the United States to fail, is disreputable, in my opinion. Even those who thought that President Bush was ill suited to the job, did not want him to fail. Methinks I detect some racist tendencies here.. I hope I am wrong.
........................................
Monday, February 01, 2010
Love Stuff
As a tribute to the up-coming Valentine's Day, the Nation magazine has published a critique by Miriam Markowitz on a book by Cristina Nehring titled: A Vindication of Love (Reclaiming Romance for the Twenty-First Century.)
You've heard of a "Chick Flick".. well this sounds to me as though the book is a "Chick Book".. I recommend that you read the review, think about what it covers, then maybe buy and read the book itself, because it sounds good. (I might buy it and I'm not even a "chick") Besides, who is not "in love" with "love" and doesn't want to learn more about it?
Some "love" books that are mentioned by the reviewer, (and also recommended by that "love expert" me) and which are supposedly mentioned in the subject book are:
Plato's Symposium.
Ovid's Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love.). advertised for years in the back pages of comic books and detective magazines.. to be sent for by adolescent boys just trying to discover what "love" or maybe "lust" is all about. (Want to borrow my copy?)
Diane of the Crossways by George Meredith (18th century).
A Vindication of the Rights of a Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft.
The Allegory of Love by C.S. Lewis. (A theory of the invention of courtly love.)
The End of the Novel of Love (1997) by Vivian Gornich. (Love in full bloom in the Bronx of World War II.)
When did romantic love begin anyway? Adam and Eve? King Arthur's Court? Stratford upon Avon? The Galapagos Islands? Woodstock?
If it wasn't for "love" where would the music industry be?
"I'm in the mood for love"
"Love makes the world go round."
"Love me or leave me"
"Be my love"
"Love me tender"
"I'm not at all in love"
"I'm in love with a wonderful (guy/gal)"
"L O V E, love"
etc., etc., etc., etc.
I love "love", don't you? Happy Valentine's Day!
................................
You've heard of a "Chick Flick".. well this sounds to me as though the book is a "Chick Book".. I recommend that you read the review, think about what it covers, then maybe buy and read the book itself, because it sounds good. (I might buy it and I'm not even a "chick") Besides, who is not "in love" with "love" and doesn't want to learn more about it?
Some "love" books that are mentioned by the reviewer, (and also recommended by that "love expert" me) and which are supposedly mentioned in the subject book are:
Plato's Symposium.
Ovid's Ars Amatoria (The Art of Love.). advertised for years in the back pages of comic books and detective magazines.. to be sent for by adolescent boys just trying to discover what "love" or maybe "lust" is all about. (Want to borrow my copy?)
Diane of the Crossways by George Meredith (18th century).
A Vindication of the Rights of a Woman by Mary Wollstonecraft.
The Allegory of Love by C.S. Lewis. (A theory of the invention of courtly love.)
The End of the Novel of Love (1997) by Vivian Gornich. (Love in full bloom in the Bronx of World War II.)
When did romantic love begin anyway? Adam and Eve? King Arthur's Court? Stratford upon Avon? The Galapagos Islands? Woodstock?
If it wasn't for "love" where would the music industry be?
"I'm in the mood for love"
"Love makes the world go round."
"Love me or leave me"
"Be my love"
"Love me tender"
"I'm not at all in love"
"I'm in love with a wonderful (guy/gal)"
"L O V E, love"
etc., etc., etc., etc.
I love "love", don't you? Happy Valentine's Day!
................................
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Weekly Dozen @ Jan 30, 2010
Today, I am going to talk about some news items, but also some other things that my ancient brain thinks about a lot.
01. SNAP,CRACKLE,POP: This is the fiftieth anniversary of bubble wrap. What did we do without it before?
02. MARMITE: I have always heard that British people love to spread marmite on their bread. However, I have also heard that it is nasty. I had to try it myself. This morning I did. YES! It is nasty! I am trying everything I can think of to get rid of the taste in my mouth.
As a yeast product, I'm sure this product is good for you.. but apparently it requires a lot of getting used to. I'm sorry.. I'm too old to take the time to aquire a taste for it. I will stick to jam or jelly on my toast in the morning.
03. FEBRUARY 2ND: Animal rights folks feel that Punxatawny Phil should be replaced by a fake groundhog.
04. SPECIAL LICENSE PLATES FOR REPEAT DRUNK DRIVERS: A Maryland State Delegate has proposed a special plate for repeat drunk drivers. It would be bright yellow and would have the first three letters of the plate showing DUI. Some other states have the procedure in place already; for instance, Ohio and Minnesota, where cars with such special plates are avoided by other drivers. Begging some questions:
Why not expand this to include convicted felons, child molesters, and deadbeats?
What about innocent family members who have to ride in cars with such tags?
Have the delegates read The Scarlet Letter?
05. UNCONSUMATED DIVORCE: Under current Maryland law, a couple must live apart for one year before an uncontested divorce can be granted. A Maryland lawmaker wants to change that to require that a couple not have sex for one year instead. (What would Governor Marvin Mandel say about that?)
06. STRIP-SEARCHING: Last year, Maryland Senators held a hearing where women who said that they had been victimized by strip-searching were to testify. None of them showed up because of embarassment. Senators still passed an anti-strip-search bill, but it was killed in a House committee. A similar bill will be pushed again this year and it is expected that at least one woman will testify. Questions:
Will the bill address the following situation? A while ago, a judge found that Baltimore County police acted unreasonably when they searched the buttock cheeks of a suspected drug dealer in a car wash.
Should the police be given "see-through" equipment like they now have at airports?
07. ART NEWS: Somebody tripped and put a hand through a painting by Picasso. Curators are now in a quandary about how to tell what is damage and what is art.
I visited a Picasso exhibition in 1955 in Cologne, Germany, where I could have bought Picasso prints for a very cheap price. Unfortunately, I could only afford to pay for a colorful book outlining all of the works on display.. which probably still would be worth a lot on EBAY (why would I want to put a price on art?)
Also, in London, an artist's modernistic work consisting of filled ashtrays, bottles and plastic cups was swept up and disposed of by a custodian. (In this case, I think he did the right thing.)
08. IPAD: Steve Jobs introduced the new IPAD with the unfortunate name, and the catch phrase: Hold the Internet in your hands. Someone said that the IPAD looks like an IPHONE for the elderly.
I visited the local Verizon store and told a salesman that I was thinking of switching to an IPHONE and could he persuade me to buy a DROID instead. He told me that under the terms of my current agreement, if I purchase the DROID right now, it will cost me $600, but if I wait until May, I will be able to pay only $150. Now, what would you do?
09. YOUNG HUNTERS: Recently, newspapers have been publishing pictures of young hunters standing next to their "kills", some as young as nine years old.
Question:
Would you want to be walking through woods where a nine-year-old is busy stalking Bambi?
I can see a need to cull deer populations, and I think that the meat that is not needed should be donated to the poor. However, I think that the hunters of such deer should be at least 25 years old, when their medula oblongatas have matured enough so that they can tell the difference between a young child in a bright red coat and an 8-point buck.
When I was 16 years old, two of my buddies asked me to accompany them on a raccoon hunting trip. I did not own a rifle and wasn't sure I wanted to hunt anyway, so I declined. During the hunting trip, one of my 16 year-old friends accidently shot and killed my other 16 year-old friend. That cinched it for me. No hunting.
I understand that the city of Fairfield, Connecticut has opened all of their parks to hunters. Watch your children, mama.
I've mentioned before that my brother-in-law is a bear hunter. Each year, he travels from Massachusetts to Maine to take care of his bear bait trap near the bottom of the tree where he has erected a platform from which to shoot a bear. After he feels that bears have gotten used to eating the bait, he climbs up the tree with his rifle, and waits for a good shot.
I asked him: But aren't bears good tree climbers? Suppose you miss your shot.
He replied: If you miss, it might be the last shot you will ever make, because that bear can make it up that tree to your spot in just a few seconds.
So, this "bears" out the old phrase: Sometimes you get the bear; sometimes the bear gets you.
10. BIBLICAL REFERENCE: Speaking of hunting, those who do cryptic-type crossword puzzles might enjoy this clue in a 1963 puzzle by Frank W. Lewis in The Nation magazine:
Salome wasn't the type Hemingway might have hired!
The answer: head bearer.
If you want to know more about cryptic puzzles or this clue in particular, let me know.
11. REPUBLICAN MATCHMAKERS?: The new Republican Senator for Massachusetts has daughters and the new Republican Governor of Virginia has twin sons. Both mentioned their progeny in recent speeches.
12. REPTILE INTELLIGENCE: London zookeepers say that they have taught some crocodiles to recognize their names. (Remember the song: Never smile at a crocodile...")
Bonus:
Important things to think about: TEETH AND JAIL:
Prisoners in certain jails will no longer be able to play "Dungeons and Dragons" in their cells and Massachusetts daycare providers will be required to brush their charges' teeth each day.
Suppose that jailers had to brush the teeth of their prisoners each day. This may seem silly, but there is a big problem with the cost of caring for prisoners' teeth..
probably most prisoners are the type of people who don't take care of their teeth and then when the damn things rot, the State has to pay a lot of money to a dentist to pull them..
I have it on good authority that dentists have to triple-glove to avoid getting HIV from mouth blood...and that means that not many dentists are willing to get involved with prisons.
On that note, I will bid you adieu, mes amis.
..................................................
01. SNAP,CRACKLE,POP: This is the fiftieth anniversary of bubble wrap. What did we do without it before?
02. MARMITE: I have always heard that British people love to spread marmite on their bread. However, I have also heard that it is nasty. I had to try it myself. This morning I did. YES! It is nasty! I am trying everything I can think of to get rid of the taste in my mouth.
As a yeast product, I'm sure this product is good for you.. but apparently it requires a lot of getting used to. I'm sorry.. I'm too old to take the time to aquire a taste for it. I will stick to jam or jelly on my toast in the morning.
03. FEBRUARY 2ND: Animal rights folks feel that Punxatawny Phil should be replaced by a fake groundhog.
04. SPECIAL LICENSE PLATES FOR REPEAT DRUNK DRIVERS: A Maryland State Delegate has proposed a special plate for repeat drunk drivers. It would be bright yellow and would have the first three letters of the plate showing DUI. Some other states have the procedure in place already; for instance, Ohio and Minnesota, where cars with such special plates are avoided by other drivers. Begging some questions:
Why not expand this to include convicted felons, child molesters, and deadbeats?
What about innocent family members who have to ride in cars with such tags?
Have the delegates read The Scarlet Letter?
05. UNCONSUMATED DIVORCE: Under current Maryland law, a couple must live apart for one year before an uncontested divorce can be granted. A Maryland lawmaker wants to change that to require that a couple not have sex for one year instead. (What would Governor Marvin Mandel say about that?)
06. STRIP-SEARCHING: Last year, Maryland Senators held a hearing where women who said that they had been victimized by strip-searching were to testify. None of them showed up because of embarassment. Senators still passed an anti-strip-search bill, but it was killed in a House committee. A similar bill will be pushed again this year and it is expected that at least one woman will testify. Questions:
Will the bill address the following situation? A while ago, a judge found that Baltimore County police acted unreasonably when they searched the buttock cheeks of a suspected drug dealer in a car wash.
Should the police be given "see-through" equipment like they now have at airports?
07. ART NEWS: Somebody tripped and put a hand through a painting by Picasso. Curators are now in a quandary about how to tell what is damage and what is art.
I visited a Picasso exhibition in 1955 in Cologne, Germany, where I could have bought Picasso prints for a very cheap price. Unfortunately, I could only afford to pay for a colorful book outlining all of the works on display.. which probably still would be worth a lot on EBAY (why would I want to put a price on art?)
Also, in London, an artist's modernistic work consisting of filled ashtrays, bottles and plastic cups was swept up and disposed of by a custodian. (In this case, I think he did the right thing.)
08. IPAD: Steve Jobs introduced the new IPAD with the unfortunate name, and the catch phrase: Hold the Internet in your hands. Someone said that the IPAD looks like an IPHONE for the elderly.
I visited the local Verizon store and told a salesman that I was thinking of switching to an IPHONE and could he persuade me to buy a DROID instead. He told me that under the terms of my current agreement, if I purchase the DROID right now, it will cost me $600, but if I wait until May, I will be able to pay only $150. Now, what would you do?
09. YOUNG HUNTERS: Recently, newspapers have been publishing pictures of young hunters standing next to their "kills", some as young as nine years old.
Question:
Would you want to be walking through woods where a nine-year-old is busy stalking Bambi?
I can see a need to cull deer populations, and I think that the meat that is not needed should be donated to the poor. However, I think that the hunters of such deer should be at least 25 years old, when their medula oblongatas have matured enough so that they can tell the difference between a young child in a bright red coat and an 8-point buck.
When I was 16 years old, two of my buddies asked me to accompany them on a raccoon hunting trip. I did not own a rifle and wasn't sure I wanted to hunt anyway, so I declined. During the hunting trip, one of my 16 year-old friends accidently shot and killed my other 16 year-old friend. That cinched it for me. No hunting.
I understand that the city of Fairfield, Connecticut has opened all of their parks to hunters. Watch your children, mama.
I've mentioned before that my brother-in-law is a bear hunter. Each year, he travels from Massachusetts to Maine to take care of his bear bait trap near the bottom of the tree where he has erected a platform from which to shoot a bear. After he feels that bears have gotten used to eating the bait, he climbs up the tree with his rifle, and waits for a good shot.
I asked him: But aren't bears good tree climbers? Suppose you miss your shot.
He replied: If you miss, it might be the last shot you will ever make, because that bear can make it up that tree to your spot in just a few seconds.
So, this "bears" out the old phrase: Sometimes you get the bear; sometimes the bear gets you.
10. BIBLICAL REFERENCE: Speaking of hunting, those who do cryptic-type crossword puzzles might enjoy this clue in a 1963 puzzle by Frank W. Lewis in The Nation magazine:
Salome wasn't the type Hemingway might have hired!
The answer: head bearer.
If you want to know more about cryptic puzzles or this clue in particular, let me know.
11. REPUBLICAN MATCHMAKERS?: The new Republican Senator for Massachusetts has daughters and the new Republican Governor of Virginia has twin sons. Both mentioned their progeny in recent speeches.
12. REPTILE INTELLIGENCE: London zookeepers say that they have taught some crocodiles to recognize their names. (Remember the song: Never smile at a crocodile...")
Bonus:
Important things to think about: TEETH AND JAIL:
Prisoners in certain jails will no longer be able to play "Dungeons and Dragons" in their cells and Massachusetts daycare providers will be required to brush their charges' teeth each day.
Suppose that jailers had to brush the teeth of their prisoners each day. This may seem silly, but there is a big problem with the cost of caring for prisoners' teeth..
probably most prisoners are the type of people who don't take care of their teeth and then when the damn things rot, the State has to pay a lot of money to a dentist to pull them..
I have it on good authority that dentists have to triple-glove to avoid getting HIV from mouth blood...and that means that not many dentists are willing to get involved with prisons.
On that note, I will bid you adieu, mes amis.
..................................................
Saturday, January 23, 2010
Weekly Dozen News Items for Jan 23, 2010
I can never vouch for the accuracy or truthfulness of the items I mention, but the last amazing item (#13) today seems to be completely true, except for the comment attached.
01. Hammacher-Schlemmer has marketed a bug vacuum stick. A cordless device for sucking up little creatures. I wonder why this hadn't been thought of before?
02. A guy with the kind-of familiar Maryland name of Glen Bell just died. It was interesting to note that he founded the restaurant with the name of Taco Bell. (Old joke: Karnak's Answer-Question: What is the name of the Mexican telephone company?)
By the way: why doesn't some enterprising person start up an 11:30 pm nightly show with videos of old Johnny Carson shows? I'll bet it would get fantastic ratings.. at least with the "over 60" crowd.
03. Attendees at a Weight Watchers meeting in Sweden were surprised when the floor collapsed. Luckily, no one was hurt and they continued with their "weigh-in".
04. Fred Friendly hinted that Senators at first called Harry Truman "the Pendergast Senator" (after the influence of Kansas City Missouri boss, Tom Pendergast). (Now, after the Supreme Court ruling the other day.. we may live to see "The Exxon Senator" or the "WalMart President.)
05. Pat Robertson recently mentioned that Haitian leaders once called upon Satan to help them get rid of the French, and hinted that this is why they had the earthquake. I read that he is right about the leaders invoking Satan.. however, his "it's your own fault" attitude bothers me, as well as his assurance that he can do anything through prayer.
I seem to remember that when a hurricane was about to hit an east-coast town, he prayed long and hard that it would not hit that town.. it swerved at the last minute and the town was saved.. he took credit for saving the town through prayer and saving lives...however, the next town over was hit by the hurricane instead... What about them?
06. Kind of related: Rifles with coded Christian Bible verses on their sights have recently been provided to U.S. Soldiers serving in Arab countries. The Pentagon has now asked the company to stop the practise and provide a means to remove the words on the rifles that have already been received. Supposedly, Moslems learned about the verses and it gave more fuel to the thinking that Christianity is out to destroy them.
07. Watch out! A subway rider in the Queens is taking pictures of people picking their noses and is posting them to the web.
08. Susan Boyle was heard shouting obscenities while singing into a mop... or so it was said by a probably unreliable source.
09. During a Google study of 7-year olds using the Internet, they were asked: "What day of the week will the Vice President's next birthday fall on?" Some kids didn't get further than looking at the "squarepants" site.. but some that did use a search engine, quit after seeing the first page of results. It was noted that boys quit their searches earlier than girls.
10. A British math expert has come up with a formula for making parallel parking easy: Items in the formula that must be considered:
a. The radius of the car's turning circle.
b. The car's wheel base.
c. The distance from the front wheel to the back bumper.
d. The width of the car that is on the right.
11. In a Great Britain department store, you can have access to a gift registry for couples that are getting divorced.
12. Remember the burglar who stole a king-size bed? Well, another burglar last week broke into a house, piled up what he wanted, and then, before he left, fried up a mass of chicken, poured some beer and watched TV for a while.
Bonus
13. The item I mentioned at the start:
At a Holiday Inn in England, a notorious place for cold clammy sheets, a staff person will be assigned to come up to your room before you turn in and "warm up your bed" by laying between the sheets and rolling around for a while!
(Someone on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me suggested that being a "giant British bed warmer" might be a good job for an unemployed Conan O'Brien.)
......................................................................
01. Hammacher-Schlemmer has marketed a bug vacuum stick. A cordless device for sucking up little creatures. I wonder why this hadn't been thought of before?
02. A guy with the kind-of familiar Maryland name of Glen Bell just died. It was interesting to note that he founded the restaurant with the name of Taco Bell. (Old joke: Karnak's Answer-Question: What is the name of the Mexican telephone company?)
By the way: why doesn't some enterprising person start up an 11:30 pm nightly show with videos of old Johnny Carson shows? I'll bet it would get fantastic ratings.. at least with the "over 60" crowd.
03. Attendees at a Weight Watchers meeting in Sweden were surprised when the floor collapsed. Luckily, no one was hurt and they continued with their "weigh-in".
04. Fred Friendly hinted that Senators at first called Harry Truman "the Pendergast Senator" (after the influence of Kansas City Missouri boss, Tom Pendergast). (Now, after the Supreme Court ruling the other day.. we may live to see "The Exxon Senator" or the "WalMart President.)
05. Pat Robertson recently mentioned that Haitian leaders once called upon Satan to help them get rid of the French, and hinted that this is why they had the earthquake. I read that he is right about the leaders invoking Satan.. however, his "it's your own fault" attitude bothers me, as well as his assurance that he can do anything through prayer.
I seem to remember that when a hurricane was about to hit an east-coast town, he prayed long and hard that it would not hit that town.. it swerved at the last minute and the town was saved.. he took credit for saving the town through prayer and saving lives...however, the next town over was hit by the hurricane instead... What about them?
06. Kind of related: Rifles with coded Christian Bible verses on their sights have recently been provided to U.S. Soldiers serving in Arab countries. The Pentagon has now asked the company to stop the practise and provide a means to remove the words on the rifles that have already been received. Supposedly, Moslems learned about the verses and it gave more fuel to the thinking that Christianity is out to destroy them.
07. Watch out! A subway rider in the Queens is taking pictures of people picking their noses and is posting them to the web.
08. Susan Boyle was heard shouting obscenities while singing into a mop... or so it was said by a probably unreliable source.
09. During a Google study of 7-year olds using the Internet, they were asked: "What day of the week will the Vice President's next birthday fall on?" Some kids didn't get further than looking at the "squarepants" site.. but some that did use a search engine, quit after seeing the first page of results. It was noted that boys quit their searches earlier than girls.
10. A British math expert has come up with a formula for making parallel parking easy: Items in the formula that must be considered:
a. The radius of the car's turning circle.
b. The car's wheel base.
c. The distance from the front wheel to the back bumper.
d. The width of the car that is on the right.
11. In a Great Britain department store, you can have access to a gift registry for couples that are getting divorced.
12. Remember the burglar who stole a king-size bed? Well, another burglar last week broke into a house, piled up what he wanted, and then, before he left, fried up a mass of chicken, poured some beer and watched TV for a while.
Bonus
13. The item I mentioned at the start:
At a Holiday Inn in England, a notorious place for cold clammy sheets, a staff person will be assigned to come up to your room before you turn in and "warm up your bed" by laying between the sheets and rolling around for a while!
(Someone on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me suggested that being a "giant British bed warmer" might be a good job for an unemployed Conan O'Brien.)
......................................................................
Thursday, January 21, 2010
A Solution has been Found
I couldn't wait to talk about the wonderful sales catalog that appeared in my mail box today. It's from the Duluth Trading Company (www.DuluthTrading.com) and strangely, it is from Wisconsin, not Minnesota. This is the one catalog that every man must have.
I'll save the greatest and most creative product for the end. Meanwhile, here are a few of the "can't live without 'em" items:
01. A flask that holds 8 ounces of your favorite booze and fits in any pocket.
02. "Abe Lincoln's Cane" for old dudes like me.
03. "FDR's Summer Hat" for old dudes like me.
04. "Ogallala Bay Rum" smells like the way old dudes like me remember it from those old fashioned barber shops.. you know, the ones where women were not allowed, and where you could hardly see anything because of the cigar smoke.. and where there was only one style of haircut that you could get.
05. Powder to cure "Monkey butt."
06. Toothpick holders.
07. Lock picks. (If you had one, could you get arrested for holding a burglary tool? They work good, but so does a bent paper clip, if you know what you are doing.)
08. Smugglers' belts.
09. Side clip suspenders. Quote: "Best invention since the tea bag!"
10. "Buck Naked" (TM) underwear. Quote:"... almost as comfortable as your birthday suit (no sweat, no stink, no pinch)"
11. Quote: "Ballroom Jeans with 'crouchability'."
12. Quote: "Screw Faster! Magnetic Bit Holder means faster one-handed driving."
13. Newsboy caps.
And finally the greatest clothing invention ever: the "Longtail T ... Solution to Plumber's Butt!" This shirt has an extra 3" of shirt length, so that housewives will no longer be shocked by a sight nobody should be subjected to.
I had so much fun reading through this catalog that I will have to buy something. Unfortunately, if I wore the Longtail T, I would probably look like I was wearing a dress. Maybe I'll get a smuggler's belt to hold all my money and a newsboy cap like a wore when I sold newspapers during the "Great Depression".
Extree! Extree! Read all about it! .. Visit the website and have some fun.
..................................................................
I'll save the greatest and most creative product for the end. Meanwhile, here are a few of the "can't live without 'em" items:
01. A flask that holds 8 ounces of your favorite booze and fits in any pocket.
02. "Abe Lincoln's Cane" for old dudes like me.
03. "FDR's Summer Hat" for old dudes like me.
04. "Ogallala Bay Rum" smells like the way old dudes like me remember it from those old fashioned barber shops.. you know, the ones where women were not allowed, and where you could hardly see anything because of the cigar smoke.. and where there was only one style of haircut that you could get.
05. Powder to cure "Monkey butt."
06. Toothpick holders.
07. Lock picks. (If you had one, could you get arrested for holding a burglary tool? They work good, but so does a bent paper clip, if you know what you are doing.)
08. Smugglers' belts.
09. Side clip suspenders. Quote: "Best invention since the tea bag!"
10. "Buck Naked" (TM) underwear. Quote:"... almost as comfortable as your birthday suit (no sweat, no stink, no pinch)"
11. Quote: "Ballroom Jeans with 'crouchability'."
12. Quote: "Screw Faster! Magnetic Bit Holder means faster one-handed driving."
13. Newsboy caps.
And finally the greatest clothing invention ever: the "Longtail T ... Solution to Plumber's Butt!" This shirt has an extra 3" of shirt length, so that housewives will no longer be shocked by a sight nobody should be subjected to.
I had so much fun reading through this catalog that I will have to buy something. Unfortunately, if I wore the Longtail T, I would probably look like I was wearing a dress. Maybe I'll get a smuggler's belt to hold all my money and a newsboy cap like a wore when I sold newspapers during the "Great Depression".
Extree! Extree! Read all about it! .. Visit the website and have some fun.
..................................................................
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
News from January 20, 2010.
I want to mention some news items that intrigue me and then I want to say something about the big event in my old home state, Massachusetts.
01. During a burglary in White Marsh, Maryland, a king-size bed was stolen! (Just think about that.)
02. Because of protests by Animal Rights groups, Austrians stopped an avalanche experiment, in which pigs were buried in snow and watched to see if they were able to survive.
03. The Baltimore Department of Recreation was burgled. The stolen items were: 30 football helmets and 80 pairs of football pants. (How can you get mad at a football fan?)
04. The wonderful USNS Comfort hospital ship (out of Baltimore) is amazing, but a diagram of the ship shows that the morgue is situated right next to the lounge and just over the cafeteria. (Doesn't that sound a bit strange to you?)
05. If you get the chance, check out the wisdom contained in Garrison Keillor's column for today in the Baltimore Sun. It's title is: Despite all the screaming, common sense will prevail. Garrison says: "Should health care be a basic right, or is it a privilege for those who can afford it?"
06. Calvin Trillin wrote a poem in the latest Nation magazine about the world's tallest building. Check it out. The last two lines go:
Dubai, though I so hate to pry,
Why build a building quite that high?
07. Finally, for those who feel that Massachusetts Independents were crazy for voting for a Republican who could torpedo Health Reform.. didn't you know that Massachusetts already has mandatory health care..so why would that be an issue to them? Besides, the democratic candidate didn't know her Boston sports trivia.. bad news for anyone in Beantown.
...........................................................
01. During a burglary in White Marsh, Maryland, a king-size bed was stolen! (Just think about that.)
02. Because of protests by Animal Rights groups, Austrians stopped an avalanche experiment, in which pigs were buried in snow and watched to see if they were able to survive.
03. The Baltimore Department of Recreation was burgled. The stolen items were: 30 football helmets and 80 pairs of football pants. (How can you get mad at a football fan?)
04. The wonderful USNS Comfort hospital ship (out of Baltimore) is amazing, but a diagram of the ship shows that the morgue is situated right next to the lounge and just over the cafeteria. (Doesn't that sound a bit strange to you?)
05. If you get the chance, check out the wisdom contained in Garrison Keillor's column for today in the Baltimore Sun. It's title is: Despite all the screaming, common sense will prevail. Garrison says: "Should health care be a basic right, or is it a privilege for those who can afford it?"
06. Calvin Trillin wrote a poem in the latest Nation magazine about the world's tallest building. Check it out. The last two lines go:
Dubai, though I so hate to pry,
Why build a building quite that high?
07. Finally, for those who feel that Massachusetts Independents were crazy for voting for a Republican who could torpedo Health Reform.. didn't you know that Massachusetts already has mandatory health care..so why would that be an issue to them? Besides, the democratic candidate didn't know her Boston sports trivia.. bad news for anyone in Beantown.
...........................................................
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Weekly Dozen 01/15/2010
Even though we are overwhelmed with sadness over the loss of life in Haiti and are doing what we can to alleviate the suffering there, we still need a slight break to think about some humorous (perhaps) or at least weird things that could be learned this week from various news sources. Let's see if I can come up with one dozen.
(Incidentally, I will be interviewed by a newspaper reporter shortly about this blog and others that I write. .. actually, everything I do since I lost 3 or 4 inches in height is done "shortly".)
01. It has been determined that hamsters who imbibe alcohol suffer hangovers the next morning. (It might be better to feed them marijuana instead...?)
02. Analyst Jose Grenado has written about some things that we have suspected for a while:
a. Googling sharpens the mind. (What about FB and Twitter?)
b. Swearing helps you alleviate pain. (What did I tell you, Elaine)
c. Doodling while in a meeting helps you keep up your interest in what is being said.
03. Water has been found on the moon. (What about the cheese that my nursery rhymes talked about?)
04. Andre the Giant once drank 106 beers in a six hour period.
05. Sarah Palin was asked once more which "founding father" was her favorite. Once again she answered: "All of them."
06. An 8-year old cub scout who travels frequently by plane, has been frisked every time since he was 2 years old. Apparently, his name matches one on the security risk list.
07. Nevada now allows male prostitution. (At least, they have made it legal.)
08. A tall cross is about to be built for a Florida church by a communications company. It will double as a cell phone tower.
09. There is a fight for the Massachusetts Senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy. Scott Brown, one of the candidates once posed naked as a Cosmopolitan centerfold, at least that was what I heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and they have never lied to me before.
10. The clever Dutch have created meat using cells from a live pig.
11. A British man solved the Rubik's Cube after 26 years of trying. (When they first came out, I handed one to my son to look at. He handed it back to me in 5 minutes, solved. He's got good genes!)
12. A Polish woman is suing a hotel for causing her daughter to get pregnant while swimming in their pool. She is blaming the pregnancy on stray sperm floating in the water.
Please remember that I do not vouch for any of the items above.. I'm sure some of them are true. For more information, you can "google".. and "googling" helps your brain, as Jose G. says.
..........................................................
(Incidentally, I will be interviewed by a newspaper reporter shortly about this blog and others that I write. .. actually, everything I do since I lost 3 or 4 inches in height is done "shortly".)
01. It has been determined that hamsters who imbibe alcohol suffer hangovers the next morning. (It might be better to feed them marijuana instead...?)
02. Analyst Jose Grenado has written about some things that we have suspected for a while:
a. Googling sharpens the mind. (What about FB and Twitter?)
b. Swearing helps you alleviate pain. (What did I tell you, Elaine)
c. Doodling while in a meeting helps you keep up your interest in what is being said.
03. Water has been found on the moon. (What about the cheese that my nursery rhymes talked about?)
04. Andre the Giant once drank 106 beers in a six hour period.
05. Sarah Palin was asked once more which "founding father" was her favorite. Once again she answered: "All of them."
06. An 8-year old cub scout who travels frequently by plane, has been frisked every time since he was 2 years old. Apparently, his name matches one on the security risk list.
07. Nevada now allows male prostitution. (At least, they have made it legal.)
08. A tall cross is about to be built for a Florida church by a communications company. It will double as a cell phone tower.
09. There is a fight for the Massachusetts Senate seat of the late Ted Kennedy. Scott Brown, one of the candidates once posed naked as a Cosmopolitan centerfold, at least that was what I heard on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me, and they have never lied to me before.
10. The clever Dutch have created meat using cells from a live pig.
11. A British man solved the Rubik's Cube after 26 years of trying. (When they first came out, I handed one to my son to look at. He handed it back to me in 5 minutes, solved. He's got good genes!)
12. A Polish woman is suing a hotel for causing her daughter to get pregnant while swimming in their pool. She is blaming the pregnancy on stray sperm floating in the water.
Please remember that I do not vouch for any of the items above.. I'm sure some of them are true. For more information, you can "google".. and "googling" helps your brain, as Jose G. says.
..........................................................
Monday, January 11, 2010
How to Understand a Woman
I was listening to a Gunsmoke radio episode from 1960 last night and noted the following exchange.
Chester: "Mr. Dillon, why is Miss Kitty so grouchy tonight? I just don't understand her sometimes."
Marshal Dillon: "Chester, save yourself some grief. Don't try to understand what a woman is thinking."
(The episode was written by a woman.)
Also, yesterday, Elaine showed me a piece of a comic strip that showed a girl complaining about her boyfriend's necktie, over and over as he tried on several. She finally said she liked the last one he tried on.. which was actually the first one he had on. He told her that he didn't understand. She told him not to worry about it and gave him a kiss.
I think that Ovid said this many years ago: "There are five facts that a man must know to be able to understand a woman.. unfortunately, no man knows any of them yet.".. or words to that effect. And Ovid was an expert on LOVE.
Elaine is watching the "Bachelor" show on TV and the women there appear to me to be complete airheads. If I had never heard of the show before and suddenly found it on TV and watched a bit of it, I would guess that it was filmed inside a whorehouse. (sorry)
Why would a woman want to demean herself by appearing on that show? One would ask: "Why do women chase after men anyway?" Ovid (again) said: "Women chase after men? Does a mousetrap chase after mice?"
Last week, after watching that Bachelor show, Elaine turned on another kind of related show which I found to be hilarious. On this show, four beautiful ladies sat facing the stage and in their hands were double-faced signs. One side said "interested"; the other side said "not interested".
As they sat there, men would be pushed accross the stage on a conveyer belt. When it stopped, they would do all kinds of "shtick" to try to charm the ladies until one of them showed the "interested" sign. Then they would be able to go into a "holding area", where they would stay until their "interested" lady got interested in a different man, who would take their place.
If the man in front of the four ladies did not interest any of them.. they would be shuffled off on the conveyer belt and another "man" would be wheeled out.
It was obvious to me that these conveyer-belt men were young actors. No man could possibly be as stupid as they made themselves out to be. But they were certainly funny. The final "picked winners" got to go on a date with the ladies that picked them. There was some funny footage of these dates.
I thought that this show was right on the money... it showed how dumb some men act compared to women.. rather than the Bachelor show, where women are showed as dummies.
'enry 'iggins sang: "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" But if they were, wouldn't that be a crazy world?
Elaine and I watched the movie "War and Peace" the other night. (I had waded through much of the book once.. and even though I had studied Russian, I could not keep the Russian-named characters straightened out sufficiently to follow all of the plots and gave it up.) The movie folks had shortened the names and kind of anglicized them somewhat, so it was easier to follow the plots.
While the Russian men in the movie acted dumb most of the time, the women in the movie spent most of their time trying to seduce the men and seemed to care little for anyone's welfare but their own. I guess that was what Tolstoy thought the world was all about.. and women were like that.. airheads.. like on the Bachelor show.
A few years ago, I read "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus" and several of its offshoots trying to understand women. It helped a little. I learned that men should not try to change women, while women must try constantly to change men, because men are just big boys, at least in the U.S.
The Europeans have a phrase for it: Europeans put the man into the boy too soon. Americans leave the boy in the man too long. (One example: the Baltimore Sun had a picture of two men who had spent 15 hours each having Baltimore Ravens symbols and information tatooed into their arms.)
Any thoughts on the subject?
........................................................
Chester: "Mr. Dillon, why is Miss Kitty so grouchy tonight? I just don't understand her sometimes."
Marshal Dillon: "Chester, save yourself some grief. Don't try to understand what a woman is thinking."
(The episode was written by a woman.)
Also, yesterday, Elaine showed me a piece of a comic strip that showed a girl complaining about her boyfriend's necktie, over and over as he tried on several. She finally said she liked the last one he tried on.. which was actually the first one he had on. He told her that he didn't understand. She told him not to worry about it and gave him a kiss.
I think that Ovid said this many years ago: "There are five facts that a man must know to be able to understand a woman.. unfortunately, no man knows any of them yet.".. or words to that effect. And Ovid was an expert on LOVE.
Elaine is watching the "Bachelor" show on TV and the women there appear to me to be complete airheads. If I had never heard of the show before and suddenly found it on TV and watched a bit of it, I would guess that it was filmed inside a whorehouse. (sorry)
Why would a woman want to demean herself by appearing on that show? One would ask: "Why do women chase after men anyway?" Ovid (again) said: "Women chase after men? Does a mousetrap chase after mice?"
Last week, after watching that Bachelor show, Elaine turned on another kind of related show which I found to be hilarious. On this show, four beautiful ladies sat facing the stage and in their hands were double-faced signs. One side said "interested"; the other side said "not interested".
As they sat there, men would be pushed accross the stage on a conveyer belt. When it stopped, they would do all kinds of "shtick" to try to charm the ladies until one of them showed the "interested" sign. Then they would be able to go into a "holding area", where they would stay until their "interested" lady got interested in a different man, who would take their place.
If the man in front of the four ladies did not interest any of them.. they would be shuffled off on the conveyer belt and another "man" would be wheeled out.
It was obvious to me that these conveyer-belt men were young actors. No man could possibly be as stupid as they made themselves out to be. But they were certainly funny. The final "picked winners" got to go on a date with the ladies that picked them. There was some funny footage of these dates.
I thought that this show was right on the money... it showed how dumb some men act compared to women.. rather than the Bachelor show, where women are showed as dummies.
'enry 'iggins sang: "Why can't a woman be more like a man?" But if they were, wouldn't that be a crazy world?
Elaine and I watched the movie "War and Peace" the other night. (I had waded through much of the book once.. and even though I had studied Russian, I could not keep the Russian-named characters straightened out sufficiently to follow all of the plots and gave it up.) The movie folks had shortened the names and kind of anglicized them somewhat, so it was easier to follow the plots.
While the Russian men in the movie acted dumb most of the time, the women in the movie spent most of their time trying to seduce the men and seemed to care little for anyone's welfare but their own. I guess that was what Tolstoy thought the world was all about.. and women were like that.. airheads.. like on the Bachelor show.
A few years ago, I read "Men are from Mars, Women from Venus" and several of its offshoots trying to understand women. It helped a little. I learned that men should not try to change women, while women must try constantly to change men, because men are just big boys, at least in the U.S.
The Europeans have a phrase for it: Europeans put the man into the boy too soon. Americans leave the boy in the man too long. (One example: the Baltimore Sun had a picture of two men who had spent 15 hours each having Baltimore Ravens symbols and information tatooed into their arms.)
Any thoughts on the subject?
........................................................
Saturday, January 09, 2010
Weekly Dozen
Let's see if I can come up with 12 weird news items and random thoughts for the first week in 2010. Some of these items were mentioned in Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me and others came from radio, TV, newspaper or magazine sources.. and some from my own aging brain.
01. Why do software developers make you open a string of years to get to your own year of birth? In my case, it takes me a long time to scroll through all those years until I hit my year.
And besides, it's depressing to know that I am that old! Instead, they could just say "type in your year of birth." And why do they need to know how old you are anyway? Teenagers lie about their age to be thought older and old folks lie about their age to be thought younger.
So.. my suggestion to the software developers would be: just say: "Pick a year of birth that pleases you."
02. 3D TV is coming! Flushed with the success of the Avatar movie, some enterprising persons are getting it ready to spring on the U.S. market. (Will we have to wear special glasses? Will our cats and dogs be scared? Our cat, SuZee watches TV with us and sometimes sudden movements make her jump.)
03. I wonder is anyone has thought of a new way to fill the country's ailing coffers: selling pictures from full body scans at airports. As I understand it, faces will be blanked out, so nobody will recognize who the person in (save in a few exceptional cases).. the best buyers of this material would probably be Middle School boys, and they are the ones who seem to have the most disposable income.
Actually, to expand on that, the Government could sell viewing tickets.. or maybe, plug the scans into a 24 hour closed circuit cable channel selling subscriptions like is done for HBO and the like. Perhaps some new kind of game shows or reality TV could be developed from this. The possibilities are endless.
04. I understand that the Pope will now be copyrighted... I wonder what that means. Does that have anthing to do with being knocked down by that crazy lady?
05. Some sharks have been implanted with radio devices that automatically text where they are so that lifeguards can warn swimmers. (Texting sharks.. what next?)
06. The inventor of the McDonald's Quarter Pounder died recently. I wonder what the cause of death was.
07. Would you believe this? (Frequent flyers know this already.) Sky Mall sells an eyeball massager!
08. Due to the current cold weather in Florida, chilled iguanas are falling out of trees.
09. A Dr. Frankel has suggested that Mona Lisa's smile was caused by high cholesterol. (Hey.. maybe we all could have our pictures painted to help our doctors in their diagnostic activity.)
10. Watch out! Apparently, some jokesters are putting baking soda in ketchup bottles in some restaurants. When the cap is opened, the ketchup explodes onto your nice new necktie. (Guess what's going to happen when the word gets out about this one.)
11. Hewlett Packard has developed a new web cam that automatically follows you.. as long as you are a pale white person.
12. Someone has developed a transparent toaster. Now you can get your toast just right.
Bonus:
Left shoe thieves are at it again in Sweden.
Leno may be coming back to his old time slot.
After being treated for chest pains, Rush Limbaugh (multi-millionaire) says that the US health system doesn't need fixing.
.....................................................
01. Why do software developers make you open a string of years to get to your own year of birth? In my case, it takes me a long time to scroll through all those years until I hit my year.
And besides, it's depressing to know that I am that old! Instead, they could just say "type in your year of birth." And why do they need to know how old you are anyway? Teenagers lie about their age to be thought older and old folks lie about their age to be thought younger.
So.. my suggestion to the software developers would be: just say: "Pick a year of birth that pleases you."
02. 3D TV is coming! Flushed with the success of the Avatar movie, some enterprising persons are getting it ready to spring on the U.S. market. (Will we have to wear special glasses? Will our cats and dogs be scared? Our cat, SuZee watches TV with us and sometimes sudden movements make her jump.)
03. I wonder is anyone has thought of a new way to fill the country's ailing coffers: selling pictures from full body scans at airports. As I understand it, faces will be blanked out, so nobody will recognize who the person in (save in a few exceptional cases).. the best buyers of this material would probably be Middle School boys, and they are the ones who seem to have the most disposable income.
Actually, to expand on that, the Government could sell viewing tickets.. or maybe, plug the scans into a 24 hour closed circuit cable channel selling subscriptions like is done for HBO and the like. Perhaps some new kind of game shows or reality TV could be developed from this. The possibilities are endless.
04. I understand that the Pope will now be copyrighted... I wonder what that means. Does that have anthing to do with being knocked down by that crazy lady?
05. Some sharks have been implanted with radio devices that automatically text where they are so that lifeguards can warn swimmers. (Texting sharks.. what next?)
06. The inventor of the McDonald's Quarter Pounder died recently. I wonder what the cause of death was.
07. Would you believe this? (Frequent flyers know this already.) Sky Mall sells an eyeball massager!
08. Due to the current cold weather in Florida, chilled iguanas are falling out of trees.
09. A Dr. Frankel has suggested that Mona Lisa's smile was caused by high cholesterol. (Hey.. maybe we all could have our pictures painted to help our doctors in their diagnostic activity.)
10. Watch out! Apparently, some jokesters are putting baking soda in ketchup bottles in some restaurants. When the cap is opened, the ketchup explodes onto your nice new necktie. (Guess what's going to happen when the word gets out about this one.)
11. Hewlett Packard has developed a new web cam that automatically follows you.. as long as you are a pale white person.
12. Someone has developed a transparent toaster. Now you can get your toast just right.
Bonus:
Left shoe thieves are at it again in Sweden.
Leno may be coming back to his old time slot.
After being treated for chest pains, Rush Limbaugh (multi-millionaire) says that the US health system doesn't need fixing.
.....................................................
Sunday, January 03, 2010
Annie, Clowns and Santas
Today, we had a great experience. We were treated to the musical "ANNIE" at Toby's Dinner Theater in Columbia, Maryland, by our friend, Jack. He also treated Mitzie, Ken and Bobbi (happy birthday!). The show was a "sellout" and 3/4ths of the attendees appeared to be around 6 years old. (Some of these kids couldn't help themselves and did impromptu soft-shoe and ballet on the stage during the intermission.)
For many years, my late wife and I attended every musical playing at the Cape Cod Melody Tent in Hyannis, Massachusetts. Most of the players there were veterans of Broadway. The Broadway players were great, but no way better than the mostly homegrown players today at Toby's. If you get a chance to see this show... go! I give it 5 stars.
Caitlin Deerin played Annie and did a fine job. Six other kids (orphans) did cartwheels, flips and their lines in a very professional manner. All members of the cast performed professionally. It is always a pleasure to observe people who know what they are doing, and are doing it well.
One member stood out physically and figuratively above all the other great actors. David Bosley-Reynolds played Oliver (Daddy) Warbucks. He WAS Daddy Warbucks. He did not need make-up or elevator shoes to make an impressive, powerful Conservative millionaire.. strike that... billionaire. We had seen Dave playing the devil in another Toby's presentation .. Damn Yankees. (That's the show that almost made a top star of my neighbor and former tap dancing teacher in New Bedford, Massachusetts, Carol Haynie.) I'll bet that Dave could become anything he wanted to be in the real world by using a combination of his devil and money-bags persona.
I guess you can tell that I liked the show.. I even shed a few tears and saw others secretly dabbing with their handkerchiefs. But it wasn't sadness.. this is an uplifting show that can make you leave there feeling pretty good all the rest of the day, singing and whistling the "topper" .. "Tomorrow, Tomorrow!"
I know, I know.. this is an old show and I have seen it somewhere before .. and I did see the movie.. but somehow, this presentation is so much better.. it is MAGIC!
I've mentioned before the "Hey, Joe Vaughan" syndrome. Today it was the "Hey, future Santa Claus!" syndrome. Marty Kurland, who has been an entertainer for years and head of the "clown club" at Social Security, spotted me and Ken at our table that was close to the stage. He thought that Ken and I might be good candidates for his "Santa Claus School". Of course, Ken is not as fat or short as I am, but he has a nice white beard as I do. Marty didn't remember me from Social Security, but I sure remembered him and members of his club. For years, he and his buddies would perform at the many functions that Social Security provided for poor Baltimore kids. I was at the same functions sometimes, representing the Social Security Alumni Association.
Sal, one of his clowns, and a good friend, spent a lot of time at one of the area's hospitals for kids with terminal illnesses. He took a special liking to one of the kids who did not have relatives and spent a lot of time keeping the kid's spirits up. When the child died, it was extremely traumatic for Sal. He was so sad that he decided not to be a clown anymore and possibly have to experience that trauma again.
Oh.. I didn't mention the food at Toby's.. they served a brunch.. breakfast and lunch food. And the salad had something that I love.. anchovies! I read where anchovies have suddenly become very expensive in some cities. So, just in case the price will get out of my price range.. I ate a bunch of anchovies so that I could always remember the taste .. yum yum!
They also served S.O.S. (or perhaps more delicately, chipped beef) that could be put on biscuits. I put mine on French toast instead and went back for seconds. Good stuff...but of course not as good as that which is made by the unshaven, fat and greasy cooks that I had in the Air Force.
What a nice day. Ain't life grand!
............................................
For many years, my late wife and I attended every musical playing at the Cape Cod Melody Tent in Hyannis, Massachusetts. Most of the players there were veterans of Broadway. The Broadway players were great, but no way better than the mostly homegrown players today at Toby's. If you get a chance to see this show... go! I give it 5 stars.
Caitlin Deerin played Annie and did a fine job. Six other kids (orphans) did cartwheels, flips and their lines in a very professional manner. All members of the cast performed professionally. It is always a pleasure to observe people who know what they are doing, and are doing it well.
One member stood out physically and figuratively above all the other great actors. David Bosley-Reynolds played Oliver (Daddy) Warbucks. He WAS Daddy Warbucks. He did not need make-up or elevator shoes to make an impressive, powerful Conservative millionaire.. strike that... billionaire. We had seen Dave playing the devil in another Toby's presentation .. Damn Yankees. (That's the show that almost made a top star of my neighbor and former tap dancing teacher in New Bedford, Massachusetts, Carol Haynie.) I'll bet that Dave could become anything he wanted to be in the real world by using a combination of his devil and money-bags persona.
I guess you can tell that I liked the show.. I even shed a few tears and saw others secretly dabbing with their handkerchiefs. But it wasn't sadness.. this is an uplifting show that can make you leave there feeling pretty good all the rest of the day, singing and whistling the "topper" .. "Tomorrow, Tomorrow!"
I know, I know.. this is an old show and I have seen it somewhere before .. and I did see the movie.. but somehow, this presentation is so much better.. it is MAGIC!
I've mentioned before the "Hey, Joe Vaughan" syndrome. Today it was the "Hey, future Santa Claus!" syndrome. Marty Kurland, who has been an entertainer for years and head of the "clown club" at Social Security, spotted me and Ken at our table that was close to the stage. He thought that Ken and I might be good candidates for his "Santa Claus School". Of course, Ken is not as fat or short as I am, but he has a nice white beard as I do. Marty didn't remember me from Social Security, but I sure remembered him and members of his club. For years, he and his buddies would perform at the many functions that Social Security provided for poor Baltimore kids. I was at the same functions sometimes, representing the Social Security Alumni Association.
Sal, one of his clowns, and a good friend, spent a lot of time at one of the area's hospitals for kids with terminal illnesses. He took a special liking to one of the kids who did not have relatives and spent a lot of time keeping the kid's spirits up. When the child died, it was extremely traumatic for Sal. He was so sad that he decided not to be a clown anymore and possibly have to experience that trauma again.
Oh.. I didn't mention the food at Toby's.. they served a brunch.. breakfast and lunch food. And the salad had something that I love.. anchovies! I read where anchovies have suddenly become very expensive in some cities. So, just in case the price will get out of my price range.. I ate a bunch of anchovies so that I could always remember the taste .. yum yum!
They also served S.O.S. (or perhaps more delicately, chipped beef) that could be put on biscuits. I put mine on French toast instead and went back for seconds. Good stuff...but of course not as good as that which is made by the unshaven, fat and greasy cooks that I had in the Air Force.
What a nice day. Ain't life grand!
............................................
Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Fat News
Good News! Get a shot, lose your fat! (maybe) I just came upon an article from 2004 by Peter Jaret. He writes how Nikhil V. Dhurandhar, a nutritional biochemist, thinks that a virus may cause obesity in some people. The human adenovirus-36 (or AD-36), when injected in monkeys causes significant weight gain.
When fat cells are exposed to AD-36m they begin to multiply. A check of overweight people found that those with AD-36 antibodies (indicating that they have at sometime been infected with AD-36) are more likely to be overweight than those people who were never so infected. So, maybe a vaccine could be developed that would counteract this infection (like the Flu virus) and make us all thin again.
Ah... to be thin again.. maybe I could start to wear all of those clothes that I have been saving for a thinner day. For instance.. I have 42" waist pants that I could wear.. also 40" waist pants.. and 38" waist pants. I can remember when my waist was in the 30" waist range... my step was more lively, I seemed to float when I walked. Now.. I plod..
I even bought some Haggar pants that have a waist mechanism that allows a 42" waist set of pants to fit a 46" waist. Imagine that!
But, why is that a problem? It's like elevator shoes. The best of them can only add 3" to your height. This is the same as I can get from my boots. Over the years, I have lost about 4" in height. This usually happens to people as they age. So, I probably should wear my boots all the time if I want to be like I was before.
Now, all of my children and grandchildren are taller than I am. Some of them ask "Prepop, when did you join the 'little people' club?" As I have mentioned before in this blog, at one time I was above average in height, later I was average height, now I am a short person. So what. People expect old folks to be short.
However, I know some eighty year old friends who are still taller than six feet and have no indication that they will ever be shorter. I also know some old friends who are so short they are about to disappear from view. Ain't genetics funny.
The best thing to do is accept what nature has done to you. You can't change it.. right? As Popeye says: "I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam." So, relax, take life easy.. you're a long time dead.
........................
When fat cells are exposed to AD-36m they begin to multiply. A check of overweight people found that those with AD-36 antibodies (indicating that they have at sometime been infected with AD-36) are more likely to be overweight than those people who were never so infected. So, maybe a vaccine could be developed that would counteract this infection (like the Flu virus) and make us all thin again.
Ah... to be thin again.. maybe I could start to wear all of those clothes that I have been saving for a thinner day. For instance.. I have 42" waist pants that I could wear.. also 40" waist pants.. and 38" waist pants. I can remember when my waist was in the 30" waist range... my step was more lively, I seemed to float when I walked. Now.. I plod..
I even bought some Haggar pants that have a waist mechanism that allows a 42" waist set of pants to fit a 46" waist. Imagine that!
But, why is that a problem? It's like elevator shoes. The best of them can only add 3" to your height. This is the same as I can get from my boots. Over the years, I have lost about 4" in height. This usually happens to people as they age. So, I probably should wear my boots all the time if I want to be like I was before.
Now, all of my children and grandchildren are taller than I am. Some of them ask "Prepop, when did you join the 'little people' club?" As I have mentioned before in this blog, at one time I was above average in height, later I was average height, now I am a short person. So what. People expect old folks to be short.
However, I know some eighty year old friends who are still taller than six feet and have no indication that they will ever be shorter. I also know some old friends who are so short they are about to disappear from view. Ain't genetics funny.
The best thing to do is accept what nature has done to you. You can't change it.. right? As Popeye says: "I yam what I yam, and that's all what I yam." So, relax, take life easy.. you're a long time dead.
........................
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Idiot Savant
Kim Peek died on December 19th, at his home in Salt Lake City. He was an Idiot Savant and the inspiration for the movie Rain Man. He was 58 years old.
ScientificAmerican.com is the place to go for more information. However, in the meantime, one might remember this about Kim.
During his lifetime, he learned 9,000 books by heart.
He read a page in 8 to 10 seconds and never forgot it.
He could identify hundreds of classical compositions, with all of the information about them and about their composers. In recent years, he learned to play many of these compositions on the piano.
Yet.......he could not button his coat.
MRI's showed that he lacked a corpus callosum, the nerve tissue that normally connects the left and right halves of the brain. Maybe this allowed the two hemispheres to function like one giant hemisphere.
He had a recorded IQ of 87.. far below normal.. but IQ was probably not a good test of his kind of intelligence.
He was not autistic.. but rather he was outgoing and likable.. especially since the debut of the Rain Man movie. Before that time, he was rather reclusive.
Kim liked Shakespeare and Mozart, and who could fault him on that.
Check out the writings of Darold A. Treffert and Daniel D. Christensen, who studied Kim for years.
His large head has been compared to that of Mozart's, and who knows, perhaps if he had tried, he could have composed music.
It seems to me that Kim was a pilot for the next evolutionary step by man. It's a shame he didn't live a longer life so he could be studied more. I wonder if his brain will be preserved, as was Einstein's.
My grandfather always said that I was an Idiot Savant when I was a young child. I do remember relatives giving me complex mathematical problems and then applauding the answers I gave them.. and which I'm sure I just pulled out of the air. I'm certain that they were just "pulling my leg". But.. if I did have this talent, it went away a long time ago.
This subject is intensely interesting to me.
.......................................
ScientificAmerican.com is the place to go for more information. However, in the meantime, one might remember this about Kim.
During his lifetime, he learned 9,000 books by heart.
He read a page in 8 to 10 seconds and never forgot it.
He could identify hundreds of classical compositions, with all of the information about them and about their composers. In recent years, he learned to play many of these compositions on the piano.
Yet.......he could not button his coat.
MRI's showed that he lacked a corpus callosum, the nerve tissue that normally connects the left and right halves of the brain. Maybe this allowed the two hemispheres to function like one giant hemisphere.
He had a recorded IQ of 87.. far below normal.. but IQ was probably not a good test of his kind of intelligence.
He was not autistic.. but rather he was outgoing and likable.. especially since the debut of the Rain Man movie. Before that time, he was rather reclusive.
Kim liked Shakespeare and Mozart, and who could fault him on that.
Check out the writings of Darold A. Treffert and Daniel D. Christensen, who studied Kim for years.
His large head has been compared to that of Mozart's, and who knows, perhaps if he had tried, he could have composed music.
It seems to me that Kim was a pilot for the next evolutionary step by man. It's a shame he didn't live a longer life so he could be studied more. I wonder if his brain will be preserved, as was Einstein's.
My grandfather always said that I was an Idiot Savant when I was a young child. I do remember relatives giving me complex mathematical problems and then applauding the answers I gave them.. and which I'm sure I just pulled out of the air. I'm certain that they were just "pulling my leg". But.. if I did have this talent, it went away a long time ago.
This subject is intensely interesting to me.
.......................................
Monday, December 28, 2009
Piano Playing
Can you play the piano? Whenever I ask anyone that question, they say, "I took piano lessons as a child, but I can't play anything." Let me tell you about some of my piano playing relatives who never took a lesson, but could play quite well.
My mother, my Aunt Hattie, and my Aunt Mary all played the piano "by ear". As teen-agers, they took turns playing the piano for silent movies at one of the local theaters. In their twenties, they played and sang on a local radio station.
I grew up hearing my aunts play piano and sing whenever there was a "get-together" at my Aunt Hattie's house. Later in life, all of the neighbors in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts were very fortunate to be able to hear my Aunt Mary, in her eighties and nineties play her organ at the highest decibel level at three in the morning, her favorite time.
But the aunts were not the only ones who could play the piano "by ear". My Uncle Allen had a very expensive Yamaha instrument that he played very professionally. He especially liked to play and sing the old hymns as well as songs like "I'm 'enery the Eighth, I am, I am"..
Now.. here is the problem... My Aunt Hattie passed on a number of years ago and my mother died just a few years ago. These passings left my Aunt Mary as Matriarch of the Vaughan clan. Unfortunately, Aunt Mary passed away earlier this year.
This meant that my Uncle Allen was now the Patriarch of the Vaughan Clan.. and the last remaining "piano player." Sadly, Allen died in September of this year and I am now the Patriarch of the Vaughan Clan. But... I don't play the piano. What to do?
Well, apparently thinking way ahead, I purchased a piano keyboard in the 1990's. Today I found it.. still in its original package.. in pristine shape. I opened the package, followed the setup instructions and now I can become a piano player.
Don't get me wrong.. I do have some musical ability.. I used to be able to play "chopsticks" and "Clare de la Lune" with one finger (kind of).. and I can do a pretty good harmonica rendition of "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do." I tried to learn to play a Jew's Harp once, but split my lip, and when I was a teenager, I was part of a "Spike Jones" type of band. Our only "gigs" were in my buddy Howard's basement.
Now I have a great obligation to learn to play decent enough piano to follow in my relatives' footsteps. I hope that I can live long enough so that I can play hymns at three am when I am in my nineties. (Meanwhile, I will have to make sure that when I leave this "vale of tears" the new patriarch or matriarch will also be able to keep up the Vaughan "by ear" piano playing tradition.)
...............................
My mother, my Aunt Hattie, and my Aunt Mary all played the piano "by ear". As teen-agers, they took turns playing the piano for silent movies at one of the local theaters. In their twenties, they played and sang on a local radio station.
I grew up hearing my aunts play piano and sing whenever there was a "get-together" at my Aunt Hattie's house. Later in life, all of the neighbors in Mattapoisett, Massachusetts were very fortunate to be able to hear my Aunt Mary, in her eighties and nineties play her organ at the highest decibel level at three in the morning, her favorite time.
But the aunts were not the only ones who could play the piano "by ear". My Uncle Allen had a very expensive Yamaha instrument that he played very professionally. He especially liked to play and sing the old hymns as well as songs like "I'm 'enery the Eighth, I am, I am"..
Now.. here is the problem... My Aunt Hattie passed on a number of years ago and my mother died just a few years ago. These passings left my Aunt Mary as Matriarch of the Vaughan clan. Unfortunately, Aunt Mary passed away earlier this year.
This meant that my Uncle Allen was now the Patriarch of the Vaughan Clan.. and the last remaining "piano player." Sadly, Allen died in September of this year and I am now the Patriarch of the Vaughan Clan. But... I don't play the piano. What to do?
Well, apparently thinking way ahead, I purchased a piano keyboard in the 1990's. Today I found it.. still in its original package.. in pristine shape. I opened the package, followed the setup instructions and now I can become a piano player.
Don't get me wrong.. I do have some musical ability.. I used to be able to play "chopsticks" and "Clare de la Lune" with one finger (kind of).. and I can do a pretty good harmonica rendition of "Daisy, Daisy, give me your answer, do." I tried to learn to play a Jew's Harp once, but split my lip, and when I was a teenager, I was part of a "Spike Jones" type of band. Our only "gigs" were in my buddy Howard's basement.
Now I have a great obligation to learn to play decent enough piano to follow in my relatives' footsteps. I hope that I can live long enough so that I can play hymns at three am when I am in my nineties. (Meanwhile, I will have to make sure that when I leave this "vale of tears" the new patriarch or matriarch will also be able to keep up the Vaughan "by ear" piano playing tradition.)
...............................
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas 2009 Family Stuff
This blog is all about family stuff, so why don't you just skip by it.
We had a great Christmas at my daughter Diane and son-in-law John's house. Last year they purchased my house in Gamber, Maryland and I am pleased to see all the nice things they have done with it. It was also very pleasant to visit with my kids, grandkids and great-grandchild, Cameron. And, of course, it is always nice to see Elaine's daughter Emily, her son-in-law Mat, and her delightful granddaughter Lily.
Someone gave Lily a pink digital camera for Christmas and she has learned how to use it (she's only 2 1/2 years old!) I tried to figure it out but couldn't. If you want to see what Lily looks like, you might want to check out her website: www.lilydoria.com. That's right, she has her own website.
I was also pleased to learn that my Grandson Dylan has chosen Computer Science for a major in college. For years, individuals in the Vaughan lineage have taught in school or in other places. My brother Leon is teaching right now and several of my cousins are retired teachers. I taught safe driving for eight years, although I was able to get into the computer field, so I am glad that members of the family are considering computer careers for a change. My granddaughter Bridget is studying graphic design in college, and all of my grandchildren are computer literate.
The Baltimore County (Maryland) Beacon newspaper says that surfing the Web may boost brain functions. Research suggests that searching the Internet triggers the centers of the brain that control decision making and complex reasoning. But Dr. Gary Small (UCLA) cautions that its debatable whether or not surfing actually makes you smarter or not. Dr. Small says that Internet searching appears to engage more neural circuitry than is engaged in reading.
For more information on this subject, you can visit www.aging.ucla.edu/TechAgingConference.html
My great-grandson Cameron is a good artist at age 6 and made a charicature of himself and had it framed as a gift to me. In the picture, he looks a lot like Charlie Brown. I'll scan it in and post it to a blog.
We did a Yankee Swap at the party.. a video named The Hangover was bid on over and over. It must be a good movie.. or very sexy.
My daughter Elizabeth made the greatest Maryland cream of crab soup that I have ever had. We brought some home and had it for lunch today. Yummmm! Diane had made two delicious turkeys and two delicious hams and lots of people had brought dishes of food and great desserts.
I made snow globes for everyone and put each person's picture (s) inside. I'm not sure how that went over.. maybe it didn't, but I had fun doing it.
Thanks for listening, family members. I love you all. Joe (alias Prepop)
We had a great Christmas at my daughter Diane and son-in-law John's house. Last year they purchased my house in Gamber, Maryland and I am pleased to see all the nice things they have done with it. It was also very pleasant to visit with my kids, grandkids and great-grandchild, Cameron. And, of course, it is always nice to see Elaine's daughter Emily, her son-in-law Mat, and her delightful granddaughter Lily.
Someone gave Lily a pink digital camera for Christmas and she has learned how to use it (she's only 2 1/2 years old!) I tried to figure it out but couldn't. If you want to see what Lily looks like, you might want to check out her website: www.lilydoria.com. That's right, she has her own website.
I was also pleased to learn that my Grandson Dylan has chosen Computer Science for a major in college. For years, individuals in the Vaughan lineage have taught in school or in other places. My brother Leon is teaching right now and several of my cousins are retired teachers. I taught safe driving for eight years, although I was able to get into the computer field, so I am glad that members of the family are considering computer careers for a change. My granddaughter Bridget is studying graphic design in college, and all of my grandchildren are computer literate.
The Baltimore County (Maryland) Beacon newspaper says that surfing the Web may boost brain functions. Research suggests that searching the Internet triggers the centers of the brain that control decision making and complex reasoning. But Dr. Gary Small (UCLA) cautions that its debatable whether or not surfing actually makes you smarter or not. Dr. Small says that Internet searching appears to engage more neural circuitry than is engaged in reading.
For more information on this subject, you can visit www.aging.ucla.edu/TechAgingConference.html
My great-grandson Cameron is a good artist at age 6 and made a charicature of himself and had it framed as a gift to me. In the picture, he looks a lot like Charlie Brown. I'll scan it in and post it to a blog.
We did a Yankee Swap at the party.. a video named The Hangover was bid on over and over. It must be a good movie.. or very sexy.
My daughter Elizabeth made the greatest Maryland cream of crab soup that I have ever had. We brought some home and had it for lunch today. Yummmm! Diane had made two delicious turkeys and two delicious hams and lots of people had brought dishes of food and great desserts.
I made snow globes for everyone and put each person's picture (s) inside. I'm not sure how that went over.. maybe it didn't, but I had fun doing it.
Thanks for listening, family members. I love you all. Joe (alias Prepop)
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
Chinese Immigrants in New Bedford, Massachusetts
The Nation magazine for January 4, 2010 has an article about Chinese illegal aliens. They mention a Sister Ping who arranged shipments out of a mom and Pop store in New York City.
In 1992, she had a boat off the coast of Boston holding more than 100 illegal migrants who needed to find an off-loading point. For the payment of close to a million dollars, the immigrants were deposited without notice on a wharf in New Bedford, Massachusetts.
Apparently, for an average of $30,000, Chinese citizens could arrange for a trip to The Golden Mountain, which the United States was known as in China. The 100 illegals had probably paid a total of 3 Million dollars.. so Sister Ping could afford the one million.
The main ship that ferried illegals was named The Golden Venture.In 1993, the ship went aground at New York's Rockaway Peninsula and 286 illegals escaped the ship.. ten drowned. U.S. marshals took posession of the ship and it was repainted and renamed the United Caribbean. After carrying cargo for a while, it was abandoned in Miami. Currently, it has been turned into an artificial reef in Boca Raton, Florida.
As far as I'm concerned, Chinese immigrants are welcome to the US, legal or illegal. These are intelligent, motivated workers.
For years, I have wanted to study the Chinese language at the local Community College. Just imagine.. 5 year old Chinese kids can read and understand those characters so confusing to us European types. Our friend, Rose Marie, has a nice red sign tacked to her apartment door that she assures us says: "Welcome." She also has a dangling brass set of characters that say: "Good Luck." I would like to be able to read such characters.
You heard me talk about the brothel sign in a recent blog. Let me repeat another Chinese story: My late wife and I used to go to a nice Chinese restaurant in Catonsville, Maryland. On one wall was a picture of lots and lots of horses. I decided, while waiting for supper, to count the horses. Each time I counted, I got a different number. 99 92 102 98 105, etc.
Frustrated, I finally gave up. Seeing some Chinese characters on the picture, I decided to ask the waitress what the characters meant. She said: "100 Horses."
Now, if you will forgive me, I will confess to an indiscretion which I perpetrated as a child of ten years. Remember, I was a street kid, with not much adult supervision. In the downtown of New Bedford, there was a wonderful walk-up Chinese Restaurant called: Charlie Wong's. We kids would sneak up to the back door and yell: "Charlie Wong plays with his ding dong!" Immediately, a large Chinese man would come out of the door, wielding a large meat cleaver and chattering in Chinese.. we would get a great workout running away from him. (I wonder if he really would chop us up if he caught us.)
I'm in awe with the advancements that China has made since they dropped Communisim. But have they really? If one looks further into Communistic Theory, one sees that the next step after communism has equalized everything, is to jump into a form of Capitalism. So, was it the death of Communism, or the birth of the next step? For instance, China has now passed the U. S. in the number of new automobiles purchased. Amazing!
..............................................................
In 1992, she had a boat off the coast of Boston holding more than 100 illegal migrants who needed to find an off-loading point. For the payment of close to a million dollars, the immigrants were deposited without notice on a wharf in New Bedford, Massachusetts.
Apparently, for an average of $30,000, Chinese citizens could arrange for a trip to The Golden Mountain, which the United States was known as in China. The 100 illegals had probably paid a total of 3 Million dollars.. so Sister Ping could afford the one million.
The main ship that ferried illegals was named The Golden Venture.In 1993, the ship went aground at New York's Rockaway Peninsula and 286 illegals escaped the ship.. ten drowned. U.S. marshals took posession of the ship and it was repainted and renamed the United Caribbean. After carrying cargo for a while, it was abandoned in Miami. Currently, it has been turned into an artificial reef in Boca Raton, Florida.
As far as I'm concerned, Chinese immigrants are welcome to the US, legal or illegal. These are intelligent, motivated workers.
For years, I have wanted to study the Chinese language at the local Community College. Just imagine.. 5 year old Chinese kids can read and understand those characters so confusing to us European types. Our friend, Rose Marie, has a nice red sign tacked to her apartment door that she assures us says: "Welcome." She also has a dangling brass set of characters that say: "Good Luck." I would like to be able to read such characters.
You heard me talk about the brothel sign in a recent blog. Let me repeat another Chinese story: My late wife and I used to go to a nice Chinese restaurant in Catonsville, Maryland. On one wall was a picture of lots and lots of horses. I decided, while waiting for supper, to count the horses. Each time I counted, I got a different number. 99 92 102 98 105, etc.
Frustrated, I finally gave up. Seeing some Chinese characters on the picture, I decided to ask the waitress what the characters meant. She said: "100 Horses."
Now, if you will forgive me, I will confess to an indiscretion which I perpetrated as a child of ten years. Remember, I was a street kid, with not much adult supervision. In the downtown of New Bedford, there was a wonderful walk-up Chinese Restaurant called: Charlie Wong's. We kids would sneak up to the back door and yell: "Charlie Wong plays with his ding dong!" Immediately, a large Chinese man would come out of the door, wielding a large meat cleaver and chattering in Chinese.. we would get a great workout running away from him. (I wonder if he really would chop us up if he caught us.)
I'm in awe with the advancements that China has made since they dropped Communisim. But have they really? If one looks further into Communistic Theory, one sees that the next step after communism has equalized everything, is to jump into a form of Capitalism. So, was it the death of Communism, or the birth of the next step? For instance, China has now passed the U. S. in the number of new automobiles purchased. Amazing!
..............................................................
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