Dear Evelyn

Another one of my friends passed away this week. Evelyn was a wonderful person, full of good will and also a bit of mischief. Even though we were not Jewish, she and her sister-in-law, Joan, invited my family to bar- and bat- mitzvahs, bris ceremonies and other family get-togethers.

Many years ago, my late wife felt that she had to lose weight, and decided that it should be done in a reasonable way. There was an organization that recognised that fad diets do not result in permanent weight loss, and that counting calories, exercising, and eating sensibly was the only way to go. The organization was called TOPS (Take Off Pounds Sensibly). The closest TOPS group was in Pikesville, Maryland. She joined it and met some nice people, all trying to lose weight.

Most of the members were huge... but some, like Joan and Evelyn needed to just lose a few pounds. All of the ladies got along very well together. For years they met once every week at a school and after the meeting would go to a local restaurant for sustenance. These ladies wanted to lose weight and had starved themselves for almost a week before their meeting and were famished by the time the meeting was over. The waitresses at the restaurant would see these big ladies rushing in and they would quickly stand aside so they didn't get trampled.

The TOPS members would order tons of fattening food and have a wonderful time laughing and singing and telling stories for hours. Friends were made there that lasted for years. My late wife's friendship with Joan and Evelyn lasted for over thirty years.

Evelyn and her husband, Willie, were blessed with amazing children, and later, with beautiful grandchildren. Evelyn taught her children to be respectful of their elders and to be polite. She believed in the "bop" treatment. If one of her kids was acting up and needed some discipline she would "bop" them on the head. It worked. They all turned out as model citizens.

My kids always called Evelyn "Miss Evelyn" and thought of her as a beloved aunt. When Evelyn and Joan had a swimming pool between their houses, they would often invite my kids to come for a swim. The kids had a great time and still talk about the fun they had.

Evelyn once told me about something that affected her deeply. She said that my late wife mentioned at a meeting that she had fasted all week so that she would show a weight loss. That weight loss was very important to her because of her diabetes. When she got on the scale, it showed that she had not lost weight, but had gained two pounds. Evelyn said that my wife broke down and cried like a baby, and Evelyn had to comfort her.

Speaking of babies, the TOPS ladies sometimes had costume parties. I have pictures of my wife in diapers, acting like a baby, with Evelyn holding a pipe and acting as her proud daddy.

At one time, Evelyn worked at a storage facility. Sometimes, when a renter of space skipped town or went broke, the items in storage were taken over for payment. Once, a bank had plastic bags made for a promotion. When the promotion went "bust" there were thousands and thousands of bags left in storage. Evelyn made sure that these bags were not wasted. After twenty or more years, I still have plenty of these very well made bags.

Evelyn had lots of great stories to tell about her childhood in Baltimore. She was a very entertaining speaker.

My late wife died long before Evelyn had her eightieth birthday, but my new Elaine and I were able to attend and celebrate Evelyn's long life. Evelyn was a good friend and she will be sorely missed.