This morning I had a bit of frustrating fun with an automated telephone system. I was trying to find out if my doctor had ordered some needed medication from my mail order prescription provider:
.....................................
Machine: Good Morning. This is the prescription filling section of ..........................................
Are you calling about a prescription order? Say "yes" or "no".
Joe: Yes.
Machine: Are you calling about a prescription order? Say "yes" or "no".
Joe: Yes.
Machine: Are you calling about a prescription order? Say "yes" or "no".
Joe: Yes
Machine: Did you say Yes?
Joe: Yes.
Machine: Buzz Buzz Buzz (phony computer sounds to make you think that a computer is working on your order.)
Machine: (after 3 minutes of buzzes) Please say your first name.
Joe: Joe.
Machine: Was that Joel?
Joe: No. It was Joe.
Machine: I do not understand. Please say your first name.
Joe: Joe.
Machine: You have said "Joe", if that is correct, please say "yes".
Joe: Yes.
Machine: Please say your last name.
Joe: Vaughan.
Machine: You have said Flom. If that is correct, please say "yes'.
Joe: No
Machine: Please spell your last name.
Joe: V A U G H A N
Machine: Was that B A U C A A M ?
Joe: No.
Machine: Please say your ID code. If you need time to find the code we will wait for you. (BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ... for 3 or 4 minutes.)
Machine: Please say your ID code.
Joe: 1 3 6 8 5 5 3 7 1
Machine: Was that A R R Y?
Joe: No (with much cursing under his breath, but apparently loud enough for the machine to hear.)
Machine: I do not recognize your entry, please say your ID code.
Joe: 1 3 6 8 5 5 3 7 1
Machine: I am very sorry but I do not understand your entry and I will have to transfer you to one of our customer representatives.
Joe: Thank God!
Machine: BUZZ, BUZZ, BUZZ.... for 3 or 4 minutes.
Recording: All of our representatives are busy helping customers. Please stay on the line because your call is very important to us.
Recording: All of our representatives are busy helping customers. Please stay on the line because your call is very important to us.
Recording: All of our representatives are busy helping customers. Please stay on the line because your call is very important to us.
Human: (at last) Good morning. Se habla Espanol. What is your name please?
(After a half hour with machines, all it took was one minute with a human to get the situation all cleared up.)
1 comment:
Yeah - that wouldn't be MEDCO, would it? That sounds like their automated system.
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