Wednesday, May 21, 2014

Senior Calendar, Stupid Criminals, Elevators, and Matzohs.

This was my calendar for today (typical for a senior citizen?)"


10 am Maryland Senior Citizen Hall Of Fame.. board meeting
11 am Carroll Lutheran Village .. Train the Brain program
2:30 pm  Amazon Self Publishing seminar
2:30 pm  Haircuts.. for Elaine and me


When I got up at 7 am, it was raining cats and dogs and I felt hung over because I had not slept more than an hour (too much to think about).. so I did the Senior Citizen thing, and canceled 3 of the 4 scheduled activities..opting to keep only our haircut appointment..


Why do I tell you that?  Just to show how independent I am in my old age.


We really needed to get to the haircut place because we wanted to learn more about their last week's excitement. A young (29 years) guy was successful in holding up a bank and a fast food place a couple of weeks ago, by brandishing a kitchen knife. However, as soon as the money ran out and he needed another "fix," he thought that he would knock over an easier mark, namely a beauty shop.  Surely, those broads would give in easily.


Well, was he in for a surprise!  He came in and brandished his knife and asked for all the money in the cash register.  The lady in charge (close to 70 years old, I'm told) asked him who the hell he thought he was and slugged him with a broom.  He made a fast getaway, almost losing his pants, as all  the ladies laughed and jeered.  The heroic slugger noted the look of his underwear and was able to give the local police that vital clue, which allowed them to catch the guy.  I really like this story.. it's a lot like one of Mr. Bean's episodes.


Another bright light in the annals of crime is a  young (also 29) man who robbed 7 London jewelry stores.  Unfortunately for him, he left his cell phone at store number 7.  Police quickly noticed that he had put his "selfie" into the phone as his screen saver.


It's a good thing that Elaine and I didn't go up in the recently reopened Washington Monument when we visited Mount Vernon, because Elaine would be blaming herself for the failure on numerous occasions last week of the high speed elevator.  She has a history of problems with elevators on buses, mansions, and theaters.


After the recent Passover season, Matzohs were put on sale at enormous discounts at Giant Supermarkets.  I like Matzohs and they are good for my diet, so I purchased a group of 6 packages that normally cost around $14.. for (can you believe it?)  $1.  What a deal! Anyway, I encountered a recipe today that will allow this goy to use up some of these crackers on a regular basis.


Soak 2 matzohs in warm water for 20 seconds to slightly soften them.
Melt 1 tbspn butter over medium heat.
Crumble the Matzohs into bite size and add to a skillet.
Add two beaten eggs and cook until set.
Place on serving plate after adding some diced brie on top.


Sounds delicious... this will become my breakfast  for a little while.  If I try to use up my Matzohs this way, I calculate that this will take 20 weeks... not counting Sundays when Elaine and I always have SOS.


Shalom!


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